Being born different can be one of the most derailing things. Having to keep up with glares from strangers, simply because you are different can be stressful and hard to get used to.

Transgender persons find themselves having to explain themselves, simply because how they identify themselves is totally different from their gender. As complex as it gets, intersex people find themselves with complications as their sexual anatomy does not seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.

For some, this can take them straight to an emotional break down. As for the 19 year Lamodimo Thondo Baitsiwe, she has chosen to be honest to herself. As other parents may find it very difficult to accept and raise their children the same unique way they were made, she openly shared that her mother has been a pillar in her life. Her mother also raised her as a girl child and did everything in her power to ensure she is comfortable and well treated.

Baitsiwe said that she noticed she was different from the other kids around her at the age of four years. �I noticed that I was different when I was 4 years old. I was bathing with my female cousins and I began to ask myself so many questions. As to why my body does not look like theirs while I am a girl. I was left with so many unanswered questions.�

�Since I had my mother’s support she made sure that I wasn’t bullied at school. I remember one time my mother went to school and told my teachers that her baby is different and they should cater for me and they must take me to the girl�s rooms whenever we are embarking on school trips. That made me feel loved and appreciated. I felt so unique and accepting myself wasn’t that hard,� she said.

Being born a transgender can be deemed �unusual� by society when they are not well informed. Which she explained that a lot of people confuse transgender people with intersex which are totally different. In her own definition she said intersex is being born with characteristics of a male and a female.

�The challenge that I am currently facing is my gender marker on my official documents such as my Omang. Everything it is a challenge because I have to explain myself each and every time. I am required to issue my Omang because what people see differs from what is written on my ID. Most of the people that I’ve met did not give me any problems after hearing me out. I can’t complain.��

�In my home village where i grew up, people are surprised because of the way I’ve turned out to be. They be like �kante Lamodimo gase mosimane� and my mother is always there to give everyone an explanation to what i am currently going through.� Sometimes they find themselves thrown into the deep end, but she said they are given immense support to keep them afloat all times.

�In terms of mental health, yes a lot is being done in order for us to get psychological support. There are psychologists in Princess Marina who have assisted transgender and intersex persons and they are still assisting them. I applaud our government for that.

When it comes to organizations that advocates for transgender rights e.g. Rainbow Identity Association, they have come up with an initiative to assist transgender people when it comes to their mental health by getting in touch with private hospital and sensitising them on such issues for example Always Open clinic in KB Mall is also giving a helping hand,� she said.

Relationships

While other transgender people find it very difficult to find partners who can accept them for who they are, she has never encountered any challenges in relationships as she has always met supportive partners.

�When it comes to relationships there are men out there who are purely attracted to transgender women and they are willing to be there for them at all times. I have a very supportive and caring boyfriend and I am looking forward to being his lawfully wedded wife. Actually we are both looking forward to that,� she said.

Rainbow Identity Association on Transgender & Intersex people�s mental health

Advocacy and Media Officer of Rainbow Identity Association (RIA), Urbenia Kgwarae explained that unlike Baitsiwe, many transgender and intersex people find themselves having mental issues due to stigma and other societal issues.

�Like many people under the LGBTIQ+ banner, intersex and transgender people experience a higher incidence of mental health issues, self-harm and suicide, along with higher than average rates of poverty, disability, and lower participation in higher education. This is as a result of a social phenomenon called �minority stresses. Minority stress describes the social and emotional impact that comes from being marginalized or discriminated against.�

Kgwarae further stated that people should not default to thinking that these problems come due to how the persons are born. �It is therefore important to shift understanding from the assumption that being intersex or transgender somehow essentially causes these problems, to placing the responsibility with society. Social and mental difficulties arise as a response to social hostility, rather than being somehow distinctively consequential.

As such, it is the job of mental health professionals to support their intersex and transgender clients, and to shift attitudes in society.� Kgwarae said. �Due to the legacy of pathologisation (representing something as a disease) that is attached to intersex and transgender conditions, and societal perception that there is something �wrong� with intersex and transgender people, rather than simply understanding intersex and transgender status as a simple and natural variation of the human body and gender identity, intersex and transgender people often experience stigma and shame.�

�This stigma can have a powerful impact on family dynamics, and result in intersex and transgender people finding themselves either estranged from family members, or the source of family conflict. Under such circumstances, offering mediation can be an appropriate solution as long as it is the desire of the intersex and transgender person which RIA is currently doing and call the entire nation to join them in doing so by being supportive and accepting of the intersex and transgender people.�