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Marriage & Self-love: Memoirs to a newlywed

Self love

Ultimately everyone wishes to find true love and walk down the aisle with the one person they truly love. While most people end up tying the knot, some do not know what to expect during their marital journey. While the early days of a marriage could be more about butterflies and romance, the most important thing to never lose as a newlywed is self-love.

Most people find themselves lost in marriages because they feel the need to give so much to their partners, especially women. For years women always felt indebted to serving and worshiping their husbands, forgetting themselves in the process. After scripting a book entitle ‘Memoirs to a Newlywed,’ a reading based on a true story of self-love in marriage and self-actualization, Kgalalelo Ramogapi, a lawyer by profession, shared with WeekendLife what it means to love oneself truly especially in marriage. Being married can be the most fulfilling thing, but the most gratifying thing is when you stay true to yourself and who you want to become.

“I find that love is a powerful force that sees you want nothing but the best for the one you love, that will see you permit them in their dreams and see you believe in them as they pursue them, so if love can do that for another person, it shouldn’t do any less for you, if you sufficiently give it to yourself. People quickly forget about themselves, their individuality and are drawn into loving their spouses more than they love themselves,” Ramogapi shared with WeekendLife.

Inspired by what she terms ‘a newlywed I knew and loved so much’ to write a fictional story that speaks to newlyweds, Ramogapi highlighted that she wanted to teach people that self-forsaking and self-neglect is a mistake you will pay bitterly for in marriage, and that you will enjoy your marriage better if you thrive in self-love.  So many advises can be given when one is soon to be joined to their soon to be spouses, but some advises allow men to get away with everything, making women succumb to any twaddle they bring to the marriage.

“Honestly I refuse to believe that there should be a reality that’s any less from the expectations we have for ourselves. I believe this kind of thinking encourages people to settle in unhappy situations being told that anything else they want is a fairy tale. Women, and I believe men as well, enter into marriages looking forward to a lifetime of love and joy and fulfilment, nobody should be told there is a reality outside of this and be happy to accept that. So my encouragement to anyone, women, preparing to be joined to their partners is to find a man that you love yes, but more importantly a man that loves you just as hard,” she stated.

“I believe in fairy tales. I believe that if I can think of something, dream about it, then I can certainly have it. But more than that I believe we are all tasked with the responsibility of fulfilling our fantasies and our fairy tales. Stop waiting for somebody to make your dreams come true, make them come true for yourself and live in your fairy tale. Love, true love should be ready and willing to participate,” she said.

To people who have lost themselves due to relationships and a marriage she advices that, “to every single one of us there is a purpose attached to our existence, don’t ever think marriage absolves you of your part and your contribution to life. It doesn’t, life still demands that you give your essence.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your man as a woman, but in the biblical aspect of it, a man was given the task of loving the woman, and when a woman finds herself in a place of seeking to please the husband, then she is under a curse.

“It’s not even an obligation in the tasking sense to want to keep the person you love happy, it’s the right honourable thing to do in marriage. But as a Christian woman there is a verse in the Bible in Genesis 3:16 in The Message translation that says, ‘He told the Woman ‘I’ll multiply your pains in childbirth; you’ll give birth to your babies in pain. You’ll want to please your husband, but he’ll lord it over you.’ I believe that any woman who seeks to love more than is due and who loves at their expense is operating under this age old curse and needs to awaken to a healthy type of love that benefits as opposed to depletes strength, joy and hope,” she said.

When asked on how newlyweds can create a safe space for their mental wellbeing should anything transpire in their marital journey she said;

“In my book Memoirs to a Newlywed, I highlighted that if one never misses it at loving themselves rightly, they will never miss it at anything else where their well-being is concerned. Everything will inform itself and fall into place naturally if you have gotten the first in place. It won’t even need to be something you will need to create as if squeeze into your time and the demands of your life, it will be a natural part of your existence flowing smoothly with every other demand you have,”  “If you fail in self-love you will ultimately fail in becoming your best. Self-love will see you believe in yourself, permit yourself and see you becoming your greatest support; and if you have you, you have all you need and everybody else is a bonus.”

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WeekendLife

All roads lead to Francistown for ATI’s concert

18th May 2022
ATI

Organisers of the much anticipated As One Music Concert say preparation for the much awaited as one of the music concert are at the peak, with ticket and merchandise sales at a high just 13 days before the event.

In a statement Kesego Okie, Managing Director of Blue Skies PR Agency and event coordinator “The Concert is a celebration of ATI’s journey in music. It is also an incredible platform for all stakeholders, particularly businesses that operate in Francistown, to show their commitment to the resuscitation of the City’s economy following the impact of Covid.

We are grateful for the reception by the city leadership and look forward to cooperate Francistown heeding our call to support the arts, which would in turn, be supporting many livelihoods and small business in the area”.

She expressed gratitude to the public for their immense support evidenced by ticket sales and talk ability, saying this is testimony that indeed As One the nation can go fa in the true spirit of boipelego (self-reliance).

The concert is partnership between Batho Bame Investment and Blue Skies PR Agency. “A lot of work has gone in to prepare for the highlight, and I am thankful to everyone who believes in the dream and supports us. I promise nothing but the very best of me and would love to express my utmost gratitude to all creatives and businesses that are a part of this Journey” Atasaone ATI Molemogi.

The concert will be the first music show taking place within the main pitch of the Obed Itani Chilume Stadium, which was chosen to host because of its distinct state of art ambiance, coupling Francistown’s position as a gate way to many strategic places in Botswana.

Francistown is not only rich in history, but also an enabler for economic activity for unearthed tourist destination surrounding it. It is an honour to have been given the approval by the city leadership and the people of Francistown to host this Concert in their backyard’ ATI.

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WeekendLife

AMVCAs To Host Hollywood Stars At 8th Edition

18th May 2022

As part of activities for the 8th edition of Africa’s most prestigious award ceremony, the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards (AMVCAs), Africa Magic in association with MultiChoice Nigeria will host celebrity movie stars and film directors from Hollywood ahead of the awards ceremony taking place on Saturday, 14 May in Lagos.

The visiting Hollywood stars will be led by Tasha Smith, actress, director and producer, known for her role in the acclaimed films, ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ and its sequel, ‘Why Did I Get Married, Too?’. She will be joined by Bayo Akinfemi, a cast member of the popular television series, ‘Bob Hearts Abishola’ as well as Brandon Micheal Hall of the ‘God Friended Me’ series fame

Also expected are Sidra Smith, award-winning Producer and Head of Essence’s Film and TV Studio and Grant Housley, Hollywood Producer, Writer and Director currently at Paramount Pictures, where he has worked on some of the biggest films and most critically acclaimed television series in the world.

While in Nigeria, the stars will meet with the #AMVCA8 nominees and other industry stakeholders. This historic visit is in line with MultiChoice and Africa Magic’s efforts in sustaining the Africa film making and storytelling momentum, through deliberate global collaboration.

The eighth edition of the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards is brought to viewers by Africa Magic in association with MultiChoice and is proudly sponsored by Amstel Malta.
For more information, visit www.africamagic.tv/AMVCA and follow all official handles of Africa Magic on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram using the hashtag #AMVCA8

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WeekendLife

Of Musicians and No Shows

10th May 2022
Musicians and No Shows

There is a growing unpleasant of artists who do not pitch for events they have been booked for; or simultaneously, there could be another development – false advertising – where artists’ names are used to draw large crowds.

Musicians and promoters in their mission to put bread on the table seem to have resorted to obscene means of securing their means. To many, this is tantamount to fraud and deception to gain an unfair advantage over their unsuspecting fans who swoon at the mention of their name, their presence and entire existence.

The month of May has just begun and bottomless grievances are pouring in of no show musicians at gigs they have been booked and paid for. Instead of leaving the crowd stunned by a spectacular show they are leaving revellers disappointed.

Exhibit A; This past weekend Eswatini’s DJ Uncle Waffles was scheduled to perform in Botswana. She never pitched up for the shows and continues to be silent on her lack of presence at the show. Exhibit B; Maphorisa, Kabza De Small and Sha Sha were all set to perform on 29 April at the Victoria Falls Carnival 10th Anniversary but did not arrive in Zambia for the gig.

In a statement released on Sunday 1 May, Victoria Falls Carnival organisers confirmed that flights and accommodation were organised for DJ Maphorisa, Kabza De Small and Sha Sha.
The statement continued; “Confirmations were sent to them as agreed and emails were sent to them several times before, for some reason they did not show up at the airport on the day of travel…

Above and beyond we tried to communicate with the artists to change the date of performance but still we could not get hold of them despite all the effort and all means of communication from our side,” Organisers have demanded that the artists refund them the full booking fee and the payments made for flights and accommodation

“All three artists were paid in full and contractually bound to perform at the Carnival, and accommodated at every corner with their numerous flight and accommodation change requests.” Adds the statement. Exhibit C; South African artist Prince Benza’s passport was confiscated by the Deputy Sheriffs pending payment for damages on breach of contract.

He was scheduled to perform at Mogobane on the 31st of December at the Reflector Music Festival but did not appear as well. He nabbed when he came into the country for a separate event.
The President of Botswana Entertainment Promoters Association (BEPA), Gilbert Seagile this week had his company; Gilbert Promotions registered in South Africa.

This puts him in an ideal spot to become an intermediary and help solve the feud between Botswana and South African artists and their no show at events.  Seagile emphasized that it’s not only international artists that miss events but even the local artists have the same tendencies. He elaborated that reasons for artists not pitching up are many amongst them ; breach of contracts , promoters not paying deposits and some can be natural like artist testing positive for Covid-19.

The BEPA president also indicated that fly-by-night promoters are also a concern as they do not follow the BEPA Code of conduct, “BEPA members are well coordinated, they have the code of conduct which guides them to do things accordingly. The government is pushing for promoters to join BEPA they have already started refusing with permits when one is not a member of BEPA.” he emphasized

Seagile said that the association is in talks with the South African Music Promoters Association (SAMPA) to provide protection of Botswana Promoters that when artists miss shows they can be able to rope in their lawyers in South Africa through SAMPA and Botswana through BEPA to compensate for losses incurred as a result of this exploitation.

He said another way of dealing with this matter is for Promoters to issue a contract to the artist as currently the norm is that the artist produces the contract to the promoter so this solution can help the promoters to protect themselves.

In an interview with Weekendlife, Superintendent Tumediso of Urban Police Station enunciated that matters of no show artists are normally reported by the promoter who normally comes as the complainant. The matter is then taken forward taking into consideration the evidence, this will in turn assist in determining on whether the case is theft, obtaining by false pretence or fraud.
When it is all said and done, revellers love musicians to hate them and hate them to love them. It is an unending toxic relationship which no one wants to pull away from.

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