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Marriage & Self-love: Memoirs to a newlywed

Ultimately everyone wishes to find true love and walk down the aisle with the one person they truly love. While most people end up tying the knot, some do not know what to expect during their marital journey. While the early days of a marriage could be more about butterflies and romance, the most important thing to never lose as a newlywed is self-love.

Most people find themselves lost in marriages because they feel the need to give so much to their partners, especially women. For years women always felt indebted to serving and worshiping their husbands, forgetting themselves in the process. After scripting a book entitle Memoirs to a Newlywed, a reading based on a true story of self-love in marriage and self-actualization, Kgalalelo Ramogapi, a lawyer by profession, shared with WeekendLife what it means to love oneself truly especially in marriage. Being married can be the most fulfilling thing, but the most gratifying thing is when you stay true to yourself and who you want to become.

I find that love is a powerful force that sees you want nothing but the best for the one you love, that will see you permit them in their dreams and see you believe in them as they pursue them, so if love can do that for another person, it shouldnt do any less for you, if you sufficiently give it to yourself. People quickly forget about themselves, their individuality and are drawn into loving their spouses more than they love themselves, Ramogapi shared with WeekendLife.

Inspired by what she terms a newlywed I knew and loved so much to write a fictional story that speaks to newlyweds, Ramogapi highlighted that she wanted to teach people that self-forsaking and self-neglect is a mistake you will pay bitterly for in marriage, and that you will enjoy your marriage better if you thrive in self-love. So many advises can be given when one is soon to be joined to their soon to be spouses, but some advises allow men to get away with everything, making women succumb to any twaddle they bring to the marriage.

Honestly I refuse to believe that there should be a reality thats any less from the expectations we have for ourselves. I believe this kind of thinking encourages people to settle in unhappy situations being told that anything else they want is a fairy tale. Women, and I believe men as well, enter into marriages looking forward to a lifetime of love and joy and fulfilment, nobody should be told there is a reality outside of this and be happy to accept that. So my encouragement to anyone, women, preparing to be joined to their partners is to find a man that you love yes, but more importantly a man that loves you just as hard, she stated.

I believe in fairy tales. I believe that if I can think of something, dream about it, then I can certainly have it. But more than that I believe we are all tasked with the responsibility of fulfilling our fantasies and our fairy tales. Stop waiting for somebody to make your dreams come true, make them come true for yourself and live in your fairy tale. Love, true love should be ready and willing to participate, she said.

To people who have lost themselves due to relationships and a marriage she advices that, to every single one of us there is a purpose attached to our existence, dont ever think marriage absolves you of your part and your contribution to life. It doesnt, life still demands that you give your essence. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your man as a woman, but in the biblical aspect of it, a man was given the task of loving the woman, and when a woman finds herself in a place of seeking to please the husband, then she is under a curse.

Its not even an obligation in the tasking sense to want to keep the person you love happy, its the right honourable thing to do in marriage. But as a Christian woman there is a verse in the Bible in Genesis 3:16 in The Message translation that says, He told the Woman Ill multiply your pains in childbirth; youll give birth to your babies in pain. Youll want to please your husband, but hell lord it over you. I believe that any woman who seeks to love more than is due and who loves at their expense is operating under this age old curse and needs to awaken to a healthy type of love that benefits as opposed to depletes strength, joy and hope, she said.

When asked on how newlyweds can create a safe space for their mental wellbeing should anything transpire in their marital journey she said;

In my book Memoirs to a Newlywed, I highlighted that if one never misses it at loving themselves rightly, they will never miss it at anything else where their well-being is concerned. Everything will inform itself and fall into place naturally if you have gotten the first in place. It wont even need to be something you will need to create as if squeeze into your time and the demands of your life, it will be a natural part of your existence flowing smoothly with every other demand you have, If you fail in self-love you will ultimately fail in becoming your best. Self-love will see you believe in yourself, permit yourself and see you becoming your greatest support; and if you have you, you have all you need and everybody else is a bonus.

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WeekendLife

Lifestyle enthusiasts feel Big Brother vibes

27th January 2023

This past weekend MultiChoice Botswana hosted media and lifestyle enthusiasts in Oodi for an evening of fun, drama and everything in between. The treat dubbed Big Brother Titans Botswana media challenge basically recreated the Big Brother experience right here in Botswana.

Big Brother Titans is the joint South African and Nigerian edition of the Big Brother franchise. The series follows contestants as they live in an isolated house and compete for a cash prize at the end of the show by avoiding being evicted from the house by the viewers.

These viewers vote their favorite housemates to stay on the show. The show features housemates from South Africa and Nigeria. The first season of the show premiered on January 15 2023 on DStv.

DStv Botswana Corporate Affairs Manager, Thembile Legwaila told WeekendLife that they saw it critical to host media friends to experience how it feels by being in the Big Brother house.

“For the very first time in history of Big Brother, we’ve seen the merging of two superpowers, Mzansi and Naija, with the Big Brother Titans season and what a better way to celebrate the monumental season than hosting our media friends.”

THE LOVE

Participants were treated to top notch reception complimented by the Oodi sunset which just blew them away. A special shuttle was organized from Gaborone to Oodi, at a farm house that is just incredible in terms of design, aesthetics and ambience.

Of course they were welcomed by soft cocktails and non-alcoholic beverages for those who are not drinkers, and the next booth was an opportunity for housemates to introduce themselves to the man of the house, Biggie. RB2’s new baby Mdu the Party played the role of Biggie, and he nailed the character.

Some of the contestants were asked what they will do with the grand prize of P5000. With my ongoing voluntary movement, #Pad4HER, I needed the cash prize to push the campaign.  #Pad4HER is a campaign that I started last year with an aim of helping female students from disadvantaged backgrounds to have access to sanitary towels. Anyway, luck was not on my side but my colleague from The Botswana Gazette, Gosego Motsumi emerged as the winner.

We got done with the questions and made way into the house. The party began with more drinks and the first challenge kicked off. For this particular challenge, we were divided into pairs. I was matched with Motsumi and we won the first challenge.

WINNING STRATEGY

Other housemates asked how we managed but it was simple: we had a strategy before embarking on the challenge. We sat down and debated on what we need to do in order to emerge victorious.

DStv engaged a phenomenal local chef, Rachel Tlagae who served some enchanting, light meal. Its Big Brother Titans so we ought to mind what we eat and also take note of quantities. Chefs also brought some wine to go with the meal and everyone was contented.

THE WINNING CHALLENGE

Housemates were taken through the last challenge: mental ability. This particular challenge needed them to know who they are as well as knowing their fellow housemates. It was one of the simplest challenges yet difficult. This is where I lost lot of points even though I was at the top (after winning the first challenge).

These housemates were all unique in their own way. From the media side was myself, Sharon Mathala, Leungo Mokgwathi, Gosego Motsumi and Nancy Ramokhua. This is a team which did exceptionally well altogether. Motsumi emerged as the winner, followed by Mathala and me on fourth position.

The third position was won by Loungo Pitse from influencer’s side, and he tagged alongside DJ Gouveia, Dato Seiko, Kedi Molosiwa and Gape Makwati.

Legwaila said “We wanted to have a healthy mix of traditional media (print and radio) as well as social media personalities, artists and content creators in the house. We chose individuals who were characteristically different from each other because variety and diversity is important to us. We of course chose those with outgoing personalities as well as those who are a little more introverted as we wanted the interaction to be authentic and organic. We wanted a solid group of individuals who represented the many different people that make up this beautiful country.”

DSTV IS COOKING SOMETHING

When quizzed if there are plans to have a similar Big Brother Titans Botswana, Legwaila said “MultiChoice Africa is focused on entertaining audiences all over Africa with the current Big Brother franchises; BB Titans, Mzansi and Naija. Though we have no immediate plans to have a Big Brother Botswana in the future, we are continuously looking at ways to entertain our Botswana audience with local content and we are excited for what’s to come in the next few weeks from our country.”

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WeekendLife

DENIM RICHARDS American actor takes local productions to the world

23rd January 2023

American renowned actor, Denim Richards has been in Botswana for quite a while now with one clear mission: the revamp the film and entertainment industry.

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WeekendLife

Botswana misses out on Miss Universe again

9th January 2023

The 71st Miss Universe competition will be going down at the New Orleans Morial Convention Center in New Orleans next week in the United States. There are eighty four entrants at this year’s Miss Universe, and Botswana will once again not be a part of the pageant.

The Miss Universe will be hosted by Jeannie Mai and Miss Universe 2012 Olivia Culpo, who last served as host during Miss Universe 2020, while Mai last served as backstage correspondent during Miss Universe 2014. Miss Universe 2018 Catriona Gray and Zuri Hall will serve as backstage correspondents. This will mark the first time in a 70-year history to have an all-female presenting panel.

Botswana last participated at the Miss Universe in 2013, in which the Miss Universe Botswana pageant was won by Tsoane Macheng. Ever since then, Botswana never made its return to the biggest beauty pageant in the world, despite its consistent ability to send a representative to participate at the Miss World competition.

Miss Universe Botswana Director, Safie Sekgwa, allegedly holds the Miss Universe license. Efforts to reach him proved futile, as his mobile phone rung unanswered.

Despite Botswana showing zero efforts in participating at the Miss Universe, the beauty pageants 2019 crown was flanked by two smaller diamonds cut from the same stoned mined in Botswana.

Jewelry designer Mouawad created a new “Power of Unity” crown reportedly worth 5 Million US Dollars, and the title was won by South Africa’s Zozibini Tunzi. She was the third South African to be crowned Miss Universe.

BOTSWANA’S POOR RECORD AT MISS UNIVERSE

Botswana is said to be one African country with the most beautiful women, but, the poor performance at the Miss Universe, communicates otherwise. Perhaps, representatives at the pageant are not academically gifted, as the Miss Universe tests how keen they are also.

Mpule Kwelagobe made history when she was crowned Miss Universe 1999. That was few months after she was crowed the first ever Miss Universe Botswana. Kwelagobe became the third woman from Africa who was crowned Miss Universe.

In 2000, Miss Universe Botswana then, Joyce Molemoeng did not place at Miss Universe, and the same blue reality struck again in 2001, when Mataila Sikwane also failed drastically.

After a two year hiatus, Miss Universe 2004, Icho Keolotswe also failed to place at Miss Universe. That was the end of participation at Miss Universe, only to return in 2010. Tirelo Ramasedi, Miss Universe 2010 also did not win. The same losing trend followed from 2011 (Larona Kgabo), 2012 (Sheillah Molelekwa) and 2013 (Tsaone Macheng).

MISS UNIVERSE 2022 UNDERWAY

Preparations are ongoing to hold the 71st Miss Universe competition. Harnaaz Sandhu of India will crown her successor at the end of the event. There are nine countries which have withdrawn from participating: Denmark, Hungary, Ireland, Israel, Kazakhstan, Kenya, Morocco, Romania and Sweden.

As for returns, Miss Universe 2022 will see Angola, Belize, Indonesia, Kyrgyzstan, Lebanon, Malaysia, Myanmar, Saint Lucia, Seychelles, Switzerland, Trinidad and Tobago as well as Uruguay.

Lebanon won Miss Universe in 1971, Angola in 2011, Trinidad and Tobago in 1977 and1998. Youngest Miss Universe 2022 participants are aged 18, and they are from British Virgin Islands, Iceland and Krgyzstan and Switzerland’s representative is nineteen.

MISS UNIVERSE ALMOST 6 MILLION US DOLLAR CROWN

Miss Universe has unveiled its new crown for the 71st competition. The new crown, “The Crown Number 12: Force for Good” was crafted by world renowned luxury jeweler Mouawad.

The new crown, with pear-shaped blue sapphires surrounded by diamonds and valued at approximately 5.58 Million US Dollars, will be the prestigious mark of honor for the winner this coming week.

According to the Miss Universe organization, the Force for Good crown emanates Mouawad’s passion for crafting the extraordinary, featuring the meticulous setting of sapphires and diamonds, whose design is replete with symbolism.

Reflecting the point that significant change does not happen in an instant, the base of the crown is set with diamonds symbolizing the status quo. From the base upwards, rippling wave motifs reflect the momentum of change, with their varying sizes portraying that this momentum gains ground gradually through advocacy at different moments and places, to audiences large and small, over time.

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