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Marriage & Self-love: Memoirs to a newlywed

Ultimately everyone wishes to find true love and walk down the aisle with the one person they truly love. While most people end up tying the knot, some do not know what to expect during their marital journey. While the early days of a marriage could be more about butterflies and romance, the most important thing to never lose as a newlywed is self-love.

Most people find themselves lost in marriages because they feel the need to give so much to their partners, especially women. For years women always felt indebted to serving and worshiping their husbands, forgetting themselves in the process. After scripting a book entitle Memoirs to a Newlywed, a reading based on a true story of self-love in marriage and self-actualization, Kgalalelo Ramogapi, a lawyer by profession, shared with WeekendLife what it means to love oneself truly especially in marriage. Being married can be the most fulfilling thing, but the most gratifying thing is when you stay true to yourself and who you want to become.

I find that love is a powerful force that sees you want nothing but the best for the one you love, that will see you permit them in their dreams and see you believe in them as they pursue them, so if love can do that for another person, it shouldnt do any less for you, if you sufficiently give it to yourself. People quickly forget about themselves, their individuality and are drawn into loving their spouses more than they love themselves, Ramogapi shared with WeekendLife.

Inspired by what she terms a newlywed I knew and loved so much to write a fictional story that speaks to newlyweds, Ramogapi highlighted that she wanted to teach people that self-forsaking and self-neglect is a mistake you will pay bitterly for in marriage, and that you will enjoy your marriage better if you thrive in self-love. So many advises can be given when one is soon to be joined to their soon to be spouses, but some advises allow men to get away with everything, making women succumb to any twaddle they bring to the marriage.

Honestly I refuse to believe that there should be a reality thats any less from the expectations we have for ourselves. I believe this kind of thinking encourages people to settle in unhappy situations being told that anything else they want is a fairy tale. Women, and I believe men as well, enter into marriages looking forward to a lifetime of love and joy and fulfilment, nobody should be told there is a reality outside of this and be happy to accept that. So my encouragement to anyone, women, preparing to be joined to their partners is to find a man that you love yes, but more importantly a man that loves you just as hard, she stated.

I believe in fairy tales. I believe that if I can think of something, dream about it, then I can certainly have it. But more than that I believe we are all tasked with the responsibility of fulfilling our fantasies and our fairy tales. Stop waiting for somebody to make your dreams come true, make them come true for yourself and live in your fairy tale. Love, true love should be ready and willing to participate, she said.

To people who have lost themselves due to relationships and a marriage she advices that, to every single one of us there is a purpose attached to our existence, dont ever think marriage absolves you of your part and your contribution to life. It doesnt, life still demands that you give your essence. There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your man as a woman, but in the biblical aspect of it, a man was given the task of loving the woman, and when a woman finds herself in a place of seeking to please the husband, then she is under a curse.

Its not even an obligation in the tasking sense to want to keep the person you love happy, its the right honourable thing to do in marriage. But as a Christian woman there is a verse in the Bible in Genesis 3:16 in The Message translation that says, He told the Woman Ill multiply your pains in childbirth; youll give birth to your babies in pain. Youll want to please your husband, but hell lord it over you. I believe that any woman who seeks to love more than is due and who loves at their expense is operating under this age old curse and needs to awaken to a healthy type of love that benefits as opposed to depletes strength, joy and hope, she said.

When asked on how newlyweds can create a safe space for their mental wellbeing should anything transpire in their marital journey she said;

In my book Memoirs to a Newlywed, I highlighted that if one never misses it at loving themselves rightly, they will never miss it at anything else where their well-being is concerned. Everything will inform itself and fall into place naturally if you have gotten the first in place. It wont even need to be something you will need to create as if squeeze into your time and the demands of your life, it will be a natural part of your existence flowing smoothly with every other demand you have, If you fail in self-love you will ultimately fail in becoming your best. Self-love will see you believe in yourself, permit yourself and see you becoming your greatest support; and if you have you, you have all you need and everybody else is a bonus.

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6th December 2023

Even though Botswana has over the years been performing extremely poorly at the Miss World competition, the country has confirmed that it will be hosting the beauty festival in 2026. Initially, the country was to host Miss World next year, something it failed to confirm before deadline. Director at Miss Botswana, Benjamin Raletsatsi, says Botswana will be ready then to host all participants. Miss Botswana Top 25 finalists left the boot camp yesterday. Quite shocking though, Miss Botswana team is still failing basics as responding to media inquiries on time yet it is dangerously hoping to host an event of high status

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DJ Sway ‘saved’ the YAMAs

22nd November 2023

DJ Sway, the daring and ambitious on-air presenter of Yarona FM, played a crucial role in saving the radio station’s music awards, known as the YAMAs. The event was initially dry and disorganized, but DJ Sway, who co-hosted with Pearl Thusi, injected life into the show. However, things took a turn for the worse when Pearl Thusi abruptly left the stage, leaving DJ Sway to carry on alone. Despite the unexpected setback, DJ Sway rose to the occasion and captivated the audience, effectively putting an end to the drama caused by Pearl Thusi.

In an exclusive interview after the YAMAs, DJ Sway revealed the behind-the-scenes chaos that unfolded during the event. He acknowledged the script editors, Phalana and Hope, who worked tirelessly to reedit the script and adapt it to a one-host format. Despite the last-minute changes, DJ Sway remained composed and focused, thanks to the support of his colleagues, such as Owen Rampha, Katlego Rakola, Tshepang Motsisi (DJ Easy), and LB.

When asked about his initial reaction to the unexpected turn of events, DJ Sway admitted to feeling saddened by how things ended. However, he credited Pearl Thusi for giving him a much-needed confidence boost during his moment of doubt. She reminded him that he was destined for greatness and that he didn’t need big stars to succeed. With her words of encouragement, DJ Sway regained his composure and approached the rest of the show with the same professionalism and charisma he displays on the radio.

To overcome the challenges he faced, DJ Sway relied on his radio skills and calm personality. He engaged with the audience as if he were speaking to a single person, pointing out individuals in the crowd to create a more intimate connection. He also expressed gratitude for his backstage team, who provided support and ensured the smooth running of the show.

DJ Sway expressed satisfaction in being seen as the saving grace of the YAMAs. He believed that he fulfilled his role as a host and brought joy to the Yarona FM board, his family, and his fans. Despite his success, DJ Sway’s journey has not been without hardships. He has experienced the loss of his mother and sister, which has left a lasting impact on him. While he continues to grieve, he seeks solace in therapy sessions and relies on his father for emotional support.

DJ Sway’s dedication to his craft and ability to overcome adversity make him a remarkable figure in the radio industry. His vibrant personality and deep knowledge of music have made him a perfect fit for Yarona FM. Despite the challenges he has faced, DJ Sway remains determined to make a positive impact and bring joy to his listeners. With his talent and resilience, there is no doubt that DJ Sway will continue to thrive in his career and leave a lasting legacy in the world of radio.


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Chef Gustos walk of shame

22nd November 2023

Chef Gustos, the renowned hitmaker, recently experienced what can only be described as a walk of shame at the 8th edition of the Yarona FM Music Awards (YAMAs). Despite being nominated a whopping seven times, he failed to secure a single win. Ouch!

The night was filled with surprises, drama, and controversy, but the biggest winner of the evening was Han C, who walked away with three awards, including Best Pop and Best Male Single for his hit song, “Sebinki.” Han C graciously announced that he would be donating P10,000 from his winnings to his fellow nominees, promoting a spirit of togetherness among artists. What a noble gesture!

Meanwhile, Chef Gustos found himself on the losing end of several categories, including People’s Choice Artist of the Year, which he had won in the past. He seemed unfazed by the loss, stating, “People know that ‘Away’ was big, but they won’t stop me.” It’s clear that Chef Gustos is determined to continue making music, regardless of the awards he receives.

However, he did express his frustration with the outcome, suggesting that the awards may be corrupt. He declined to comment further, citing the need to protect his brand and maintain good relationships with corporate clients. It’s understandable that he wants to avoid any potential damage to his future prospects.

In fact, Chef Gustos went so far as to request that Yarona FM not nominate him for future YAMAs. It seems he wants to distance himself from the disappointment and focus on his music without the pressure of awards. Perhaps this decision will allow him to create freely and without the burden of expectations.

While Chef Gustos may have experienced a walk of shame at the YAMAs, it’s important to remember that awards do not define an artist’s talent or success. His fans still appreciate his music, and he continues to have gigs with corporate clients. So, despite the disappointment, Chef Gustos remains optimistic about his future in the industry.

In the end, the YAMAs may have been a letdown for Chef Gustos, but he’s determined to keep moving forward. He won’t let a lack of awards dampen his spirits or hinder his creativity. And who knows, maybe next time he’ll come back stronger and prove that he’s deserving of recognition. After all, the true measure of an artist’s success lies in the hearts of their fans, not in shiny trophies.


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