When it comes to love and friendship, it is often a girl code of sorts to know their limits especially when it comes to dating each otherís partners. In some instances though, some find themselves smitten over their friendís love, to an extent that they walk down the aisle with their friendís former lover. This then begs the question; is it okay for to find Ďtrue loveí in my friendís man?
As immoral or shocking as it may be, the scenario is all but too common. A typical example of this can be found in the South African television and radio personality Bonang Matheba and renowned music personality Dj Zinhle. The two are said to have once been best friends before their feud. The two separated after rapper AKA who at the time was dating Dj Zinhle, went on to have a romantic relationship with Bonang Matheba, whilst Dj Zinhle was pregnant with baby Kairo. While some saw AKA and Bonang as a match made in heaven, bottom line was AKA was initially her best friendís man.
There are so many reasons as to why someone, would secretly crush on their friendís man, even after the said couple go their separate ways. Some guys however feel that, it is an issue of finding a partner that completes you rather than someone being your partnerís friend. Meaning, if their partner lacks a certain trait, and their friend has the exact trait which was sought after, then why not go for someone they feel they are more compatible with.
While women are more emotional about the issue, they believe a friend has no reason to date their man even if it is a former lover, unless of course they were never friends in the first place. Even so, loyalty canít be overruled in friendships and it comes first.
Although hesitant to reveal more, Archibold Letsatle who found himself in a similar situation, said that this messes a person up, which is safe to say even men feel the hurt that comes with friends dating their lovers.
ďBeen there but on the receiving end, it destroys your partner more than you. You are not that evil. So either confess so that he leaves or you give them equal opportunity to fight for you. †I can only say it cost me a lot. I couldn’t focus at school, dropped out of CIMA, went on a revenge spree and I got depressed. I just got back my life after 3years of depression. That whole thing messed me up my life,Ē he said.
In an interview with WeekendLife, Psychologist Tshepo Shoshong, highlighted that this is caused by a creation of whole lot things that can open a door for someone to fall in love with their friendís lover.
ďSometimes we rush to tell our friends what is transpiring in our relationship, to an extent of citing that they are good in bed and all those things. Being an open book and your friend get to know what kind of person your partner is. The moment they meet your partner, they already feel they know them. We are too quick to introduce our partners even in the early months of the relationship. When we introduce them, a bond is being created. Then your partner and your friend can turn into more of a sexual understanding and undertone. Which can make your friend think they are more deserving of your partner, more especially when the friend is cheating and undecided about their partner,Ē he said.
While friendship means a lot to many, he said when it comes to understanding the kind of friendship you have with your friends, that means also understanding how the two of you define that friendship because most of the time people who we call friends do not consider us to be their friend, that is why they will go after your lover because sometimes they are doing it with a clear conscious that you are not friends.
ďSome do so because of their malicious intentions, they are just being spiteful. You are happy in a relationship and they just want to destroy that. Sometimes they fall for each other because your friend has more things in common with your partner. They get to bond on small issues. They have most things in common that they spend most of their time discussing it and when they hold such conversations that is when it clicks that there is a lot going between them,Ē said Shoshong.
Most of the time we beat ourselves up for losing our loved ones to another person and we feel we were never good enough or we were lacking in some aspect, Shoshong however advised that when something like that happens to you, you should never think to beat yourself up about it.
ďYou come first, so if someone steals your partner, do not blame yourself for anything, even for bringing the two together. Do not take the blame by thinking you did not meet the expectation. We tend to be hard and harsh on ourselves for the decisions that others took. Then we feel it is not right for us. This means also that the friendship was never legit or worthwhile. Which is why you need to understand the purpose of your friendship and how you classify it,Ē he said.
In conclusion, Shoshong said people should not allow their friends to openly chat with their partners to an extent of even meeting up. ďDo not be too relaxed without boundaries, so that they know when to draw the line.íí
At the age of 17, Boniface Lewanika is ready to take over the world. He has shown commitment to being the next big thing to ever emerge from Botswana. Mindset MusiQ, as he is affectionately known, is a self-taught music producer. The story of how Mindset started music production can be traced back to end-to-end lockdowns, which jaded him to the core.
At least, for Mindset MusiQ, these lockdowns were a blessing in disguise. He got to unlock the hidden potential in him, or maybe, the creativity that he never knew about. Being locked down meant that Mindset MusiQ has plenty of time to waste, but he was quick to switch his mindset to coming up with something positive.
He saw it much better to waste time on the internet. Well, for lot of people, the internet was the only saving grace then. But for Mindset MusiQ, it was the beginning of a journey that he intends to walk for the rest of his life.
‚ÄúI became a music producer because I love music. I then asked myself why I should not make music, that‚Äôs when in 2020 during lockdowns I started watching YouTube tutorials on how to make music. I didn‚Äôt have any knowledge on how to produce a song. YouTube introduced me to Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) which is a software used for music production.‚ÄĚ
The Letlhakane born then downloaded his first software which was Ableton Live, which was way too complex and distorted. ‚ÄúI felt it was too hard to learn and I switched to FI studio which was also complicated but fortunately, easy to use. Because I don‚Äôt have a good voice to sing, music production became too good to me and very flexible to embark on.‚ÄĚ
Mindset MusiQ became part of the Department of Broadcasting Services (DBS) national roadshow, after being picked from the capacity building workshop. He was challenged to speak to the audience, fellow creatives (artists and music producers) and his presentation caught the eye of the adjudicator, DJ Fresh.
‚ÄúI heard about the artist‚Äôs capacity building workshop from my mother, who saw it on Facebook. My father immediately reacted and dropped me off and even though I was late, the host then introduced me and the rest became history. As we speak, I am part of the Top 30, and we will be having the finale on the 11th of February in Gaborone.‚ÄĚ
Being on the Top 30 for Mindset MusiQ is a dream come true. This is because he wasn‚Äôt even told that there will be a boot camp and grand prizes, and he has always wanted to advance his premature music career. He said this has shown that he is on the right track.
‚ÄúWorking with DJ Fresh is really cool. It‚Äôs not everyone who can be afforded that opportunity and the experience humbles me all the time. Already, I have rocked the Thando remix and I can‚Äôt wait to do more with his mentorship.‚ÄĚ
Mindset MusiQ is currently in South Africa working on cooking more music with industry moguls. He was invited by producer Trey Bankz and some colleagues from Imperial City Music, a new record label in Johannesburg
With zero existence of TV programs empowering women in Botswana, a new show that strives to make that news of the past has just started airing on the tedious BTV. At least, after so many years, All The Star She Is will inspire viewers to see a new change in terms of supporting women in Botswana.
Each incredible series celebrates women but not from all walks of life, but those who are turning heads in the entertainment industry. The show will cast a bright light on women who have conquered tremendous obstacles and weathered the storms.
In an exclusive interview with WeekendLife on Monday, Director of Cosign267 Koone Boikaego said the show reveals the paths that these phenomenal women took to be where they are in the entertainment and media industry.
Cosign267 is a 100% youth owned film and TV Production Company led by Boikaego. It has worked with a number of organization, executing various projects such as filming, shooting, editing and one-on-one couch interviews.
The youthful company recently wrapped up the Department of Broadcasting Services (DBS) three months‚Äô national roadshow and boot camp. It was assigned with capturing all moments of the roadshow, alongside Thato DJ Fresh Sikwane.
‚ÄúCelebrating women is one thing that is often overlooked. We put together this project to take followers into the lives of creative and incredible women. They are determined to break walls and pave way for the next generation of women. In this show, these women serve viewers with factual stories of how they started and what it takes to be at the forefront, the bittersweet experiences that took them that far. It‚Äôs really a show that many young girls can draw inspiration from.‚ÄĚ
Breaking down the show plan, Boikaego said airs every Saturday on BTV at 6PM, hosted by One Rabantheng. Rabantheng, famously known as Divine Diva is a media and marketing consultant, legendary radio personality who worked for Duma FM, e-TV and RB2, where she was shown the door for speaking foul of the then President without being aware that the microphone is on.
There are thirteen stars to be featured on the new show, therefore, this means that there will be thirteen episodes. Some of the familiar faces featured on the TV show are: Mpho Sebina, Olorato Ledique, Oratile Kebakile, Nnunu Ramogotsi, Tumi Ramsden, Kelly Ramputswa, Tshepie Olds, Winx Motcher, Mmaphala, Loretta and Nicole Martinez among others.
This past weekend MultiChoice Botswana hosted media and lifestyle enthusiasts in Oodi for an evening of fun, drama and everything in between. The treat dubbed Big Brother Titans Botswana media challenge basically recreated the Big Brother experience right here in Botswana.
Big Brother Titans is the joint South African and Nigerian edition of the Big Brother franchise. The series follows contestants as they live in an isolated house and compete for a cash prize at the end of the show by avoiding being evicted from the house by the viewers.
These viewers vote their favorite housemates to stay on the show. The show features housemates from South Africa and Nigeria. The first season of the show premiered on January 15 2023 on DStv.
DStv Botswana Corporate Affairs Manager, Thembile Legwaila told WeekendLife that they saw it critical to host media friends to experience how it feels by being in the Big Brother house.
‚ÄúFor the very first time in history of Big Brother, we‚Äôve seen the merging of two superpowers, Mzansi and Naija, with the Big Brother Titans season and what a better way to celebrate the monumental season than hosting our media friends.‚ÄĚ
Participants were treated to top notch reception complimented by the Oodi sunset which just blew them away. A special shuttle was organized from Gaborone to Oodi, at a farm house that is just incredible in terms of design, aesthetics and ambience.
Of course they were welcomed by soft cocktails and non-alcoholic beverages for those who are not drinkers, and the next booth was an opportunity for housemates to introduce themselves to the man of the house, Biggie. RB2‚Äôs new baby Mdu the Party played the role of Biggie, and he nailed the character.
Some of the contestants were asked what they will do with the grand prize of P5000. With my ongoing voluntary movement, #Pad4HER, I needed the cash prize to push the campaign.¬† #Pad4HER is a campaign that I started last year with an aim of helping female students from disadvantaged backgrounds to have access to sanitary towels. Anyway, luck was not on my side but my colleague from The Botswana Gazette, Gosego Motsumi emerged as the winner.
We got done with the questions and made way into the house. The party began with more drinks and the first challenge kicked off. For this particular challenge, we were divided into pairs. I was matched with Motsumi and we won the first challenge.
Other housemates asked how we managed but it was simple: we had a strategy before embarking on the challenge. We sat down and debated on what we need to do in order to emerge victorious.
DStv engaged a phenomenal local chef, Rachel Tlagae who served some enchanting, light meal. Its Big Brother Titans so we ought to mind what we eat and also take note of quantities. Chefs also brought some wine to go with the meal and everyone was contented.
THE WINNING CHALLENGE
Housemates were taken through the last challenge: mental ability. This particular challenge needed them to know who they are as well as knowing their fellow housemates. It was one of the simplest challenges yet difficult. This is where I lost lot of points even though I was at the top (after winning the first challenge).
These housemates were all unique in their own way. From the media side was myself, Sharon Mathala, Leungo Mokgwathi, Gosego Motsumi and Nancy Ramokhua. This is a team which did exceptionally well altogether. Motsumi emerged as the winner, followed by Mathala and me on fourth position.
The third position was won by Loungo Pitse from influencer‚Äôs side, and he tagged alongside DJ Gouveia, Dato Seiko, Kedi Molosiwa and Gape Makwati.
Legwaila said ‚ÄúWe wanted to have a healthy mix of traditional media (print and radio) as well as social media personalities, artists and content creators in the house. We chose individuals who were characteristically different from each other because variety and diversity is important to us. We of course chose those with outgoing personalities as well as those who are a little more introverted as we wanted the interaction to be authentic and organic. We wanted a solid group of individuals who represented the many different people that make up this beautiful country.‚ÄĚ
DSTV IS COOKING SOMETHING
When quizzed if there are plans to have a similar Big Brother Titans Botswana, Legwaila said ‚ÄúMultiChoice Africa is focused on entertaining audiences all over Africa with the current Big Brother franchises; BB Titans, Mzansi and Naija. Though we have no immediate plans to have a Big Brother Botswana in the future, we are continuously looking at ways to entertain our Botswana audience with local content and we are excited for what‚Äôs to come in the next few weeks from our country.‚ÄĚ