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When your friend falls in love with your man

Do not be too relaxed without boundaries, so that they know when to draw the line

When it comes to love and friendship, it is often a girl code of sorts to know their limits especially when it comes to dating each other’s partners. In some instances though, some find themselves smitten over their friend’s love, to an extent that they walk down the aisle with their friend’s former lover. This then begs the question; is it okay for to find ‘true love’ in my friend’s man?

As immoral or shocking as it may be, the scenario is all but too common. A typical example of this can be found in the South African television and radio personality Bonang Matheba and renowned music personality Dj Zinhle. The two are said to have once been best friends before their feud. The two separated after rapper AKA who at the time was dating Dj Zinhle, went on to have a romantic relationship with Bonang Matheba, whilst Dj Zinhle was pregnant with baby Kairo. While some saw AKA and Bonang as a match made in heaven, bottom line was AKA was initially her best friend’s man.

There are so many reasons as to why someone, would secretly crush on their friend’s man, even after the said couple go their separate ways. Some guys however feel that, it is an issue of finding a partner that completes you rather than someone being your partner’s friend. Meaning, if their partner lacks a certain trait, and their friend has the exact trait which was sought after, then why not go for someone they feel they are more compatible with.

While women are more emotional about the issue, they believe a friend has no reason to date their man even if it is a former lover, unless of course they were never friends in the first place. Even so, loyalty can’t be overruled in friendships and it comes first.

Although hesitant to reveal more, Archibold Letsatle who found himself in a similar situation, said that this messes a person up, which is safe to say even men feel the hurt that comes with friends dating their lovers.

“Been there but on the receiving end, it destroys your partner more than you. You are not that evil. So either confess so that he leaves or you give them equal opportunity to fight for you.  I can only say it cost me a lot. I couldn’t focus at school, dropped out of CIMA, went on a revenge spree and I got depressed. I just got back my life after 3years of depression. That whole thing messed me up my life,” he said.

In an interview with WeekendLife, Psychologist Tshepo Shoshong, highlighted that this is caused by a creation of whole lot things that can open a door for someone to fall in love with their friend’s lover.

“Sometimes we rush to tell our friends what is transpiring in our relationship, to an extent of citing that they are good in bed and all those things. Being an open book and your friend get to know what kind of person your partner is. The moment they meet your partner, they already feel they know them. We are too quick to introduce our partners even in the early months of the relationship. When we introduce them, a bond is being created. Then your partner and your friend can turn into more of a sexual understanding and undertone. Which can make your friend think they are more deserving of your partner, more especially when the friend is cheating and undecided about their partner,” he said.

While friendship means a lot to many, he said when it comes to understanding the kind of friendship you have with your friends, that means also understanding how the two of you define that friendship because most of the time people who we call friends do not consider us to be their friend, that is why they will go after your lover because sometimes they are doing it with a clear conscious that you are not friends.

“Some do so because of their malicious intentions, they are just being spiteful. You are happy in a relationship and they just want to destroy that. Sometimes they fall for each other because your friend has more things in common with your partner. They get to bond on small issues. They have most things in common that they spend most of their time discussing it and when they hold such conversations that is when it clicks that there is a lot going between them,” said Shoshong.

Most of the time we beat ourselves up for losing our loved ones to another person and we feel we were never good enough or we were lacking in some aspect, Shoshong however advised that when something like that happens to you, you should never think to beat yourself up about it.

“You come first, so if someone steals your partner, do not blame yourself for anything, even for bringing the two together. Do not take the blame by thinking you did not meet the expectation. We tend to be hard and harsh on ourselves for the decisions that others took. Then we feel it is not right for us. This means also that the friendship was never legit or worthwhile. Which is why you need to understand the purpose of your friendship and how you classify it,” he said.

In conclusion, Shoshong said people should not allow their friends to openly chat with their partners to an extent of even meeting up. “Do not be too relaxed without boundaries, so that they know when to draw the line.’’

WeekendLife

The in thing; Appealing Mani-pedi

1st December 2020
Appealing medi-pedi

Women with manicure more attractive.The latest trending thing within the fashion diary of women has been manicures and pedicures.

It goes beyond the traditional nail polish painted on nails. It has become an art that is almost worshipped by women. A need to have fashion statement.

There’s a lot that goes into a well done manicure and pedicure.

THE SCIENCE OF MANI-PEDIS
According to the London College of Beauty Therapy mani-pedi offers a deep cleansing for nails as well as making sure that they look exceptionally well.

It also assist in removing dead skin and plays a pivotal function in encouraging the growth of new skin.
There is so much that is going on while doing mani-pedi, one of which being a rubbing and a soothing massage to both the feet and the hands. This is imperative in boosting circulation of blood, which can be disturbed during winter season.

Scheduling for mani-pedi from time to time will ensure that nails are in a good condition and lowers the chances of your hands and feet from swelling up especially when you have a busy and hectic schedule that’s why taking a mani-pedi break comes highly recommended.

NAIL BARS
Recently many beauticians have been neck to neck with nail art trends that have been set by fashion forward nations. This has seen the growth of nail tech bars in the country. Nail art varies from normal stick on artificial nails to having acrylic nails that have been sculpted and carved out on the natural nail.
It’s the art on the nails that really grabs attention; glittering diamonds and all sorts of small trinkets adorning nails. It depends on the style of the customer anyway and how flamboyant they want the nails to be.

There are also shapes to choose from, from coffin like shaped nails to ballerina shapes, there is really an array of shapes and designs to choose from. You can also choose the length you want, from talons that resemble a witch with class or a simple rubber base coat that gives both class and simplicity which is healthy for natural nails because rubber base gel is a base coat for gel polish that has an extra elastic and flexible nature. This extra flexibility allows your manicures to flex and bend with your natural nails instead of working against it.

ZURI NAILS
Bringing the art of nails to the shores of Botswana is Kato Masibi, a young lady in her mid-20s and a Media graduate who’s passionate about beauty and therapy.

Speaking to WeekendLife, Masibi explains that her love for manicures and pedicures, emanates from embracing looking good and feeling pretty which is why she founded Zuri Nails. A nail bar offering the best in nail tech in Francistown.They offer both manicure and pedicure services, from extensions to grooming natural nails, foot scrubbing and massages.

‘It is very important to make sure your hands are as clean and as presentable as they can be, as well as nails, they’re very sensitive and we need to ensure that we take good care of them to avoid nail infections. Clean nails say a lot about you as a lady and it says a lot about your hygiene status,” said Masibi.

While Zuri Nails offers different types of manicures, both natural looks and artificial, Masibi said; “Artificial nails are done to enhance a woman’s beauty (gel and acrylic extensions, stick-ons) and natural manicure is done to keep nails clean and protected from infections like cutting nails, filling them, keeping cuticles presentable and applying a nail hardener to keep them strong (no artificial agents used) this one can be done by men too,” she said.

Masibi agrees that there are physical benefits to doing your nails and it’s not just about looking good.
“Both the physical and mental health benefits of getting a nail treatment are extraordinary. Your feet and hands will both look and feel amazing, your stress will go down, the pain will be gone, and your blood circulation will boosted.”

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WeekendLife

Dark COVID-19 cloud engulf Festive gigs

23rd November 2020
Festive season to be punctuated by social distancing.

With Government tightening the noose around public areas through the State of Public Emergency tool, it is very unlikely that there could be celebrations this festive season.

Just this week Government, through the Government Gazette announced that hawkers will not be allowed to go inside parked buses to sell their goods; while at the same time buses will only be allowed to enter the bus rank to pick and drop.

This move is further instructive to the entertainment or creative industry that things are far from being let loose to allow for staging of festivals and gigs.

As the year comes to an end, artists normally anticipate increased rate of bookings inside and outside the country. This looks set not to be the case this year as the spread of COVID-19 remains a threat and Botswana is still under the State of Public Emergency.

As things stand large shows that attract multitudes are prohibited, as per the Emergency Regulations signed by President Dr Mokgweetsi Masisi. This is the period when events such as Born & Raised, Gaabo Motho and many more normally have their bread buttered.

When COVID-19 reached Botswana shores in February other big events such as The Hamptons, Gaborone International Music & Culture week (GIMC), African Attire on Fleek, Soul Fill Up with Franco and many more who were anticipating a great return were forced to cancel due to covid-19 restrictions.

Indications point to a Christmas and New Year that would be dominated by law enforcement officers patrolling the streets to ensure adherence to social distancing. Big music industry players like Vee Mampeezy can only hope that their industry will be opened – but this end does not appear in sight.

The popular musician recently spoke to this reporter and confirmed that he is running at a loss, “usually at this time of the year I am usually fully booked,” he said.“Obviously we are affected. We are only hoping that the government will open. We believe they will open.

This year, it is very rough, we are only getting bookings there and there by people who are doing events. I have lost too much money this season. A lot of it,” said Vee Mampeezy.As for Maxy, the songstress is not sure how things are coming up this festive season but she is positive that something is in the pipeline for her.

“I really don’t know; but as for me it’s been better for I have been getting a few corporate gigs there and there due to my corporate market clientele. As for what I’m planning, only time will tell depending on the COVID-19 rules and what is presented on the table for me because I don’t do nor organise my own gigs but I only take bookings from paying event organisers,” she said.

Amidst positive news on vaccine developments and successful trials, the coronavirus is surging in Europe with some countries announcing partial lockdowns to control the spread. On the 16th November 2020, through his formal missive noted that COVID-19 remains a concern in the country as infections continue rising. “As of 11th November 2020, Botswana had recorded 9103 cases.”

So far 30 people have died due to complications linked to COVID-19. Most of the deaths have been recorded in the Greater Gaborone area with the COVID-19 task team analysis depicting that Botswana records one death for every 250 positive cases detected.

Botswana currently has 837 active cases and 6801 recoveries.

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WeekendLife

Beauty Tips Skin Prep- The key to flawless make up

23rd November 2020
BEAUTY TIPS-skin prep- the key to flawless make up. PICTURE SOURCE(LUX MAGAZINE, 2020)

PICTURE SOURCE(LUX MAGAZINE, 2020)

BY:MAUNGO MASIAPETO
Have you been drooling over stunning make up looks posted by models, artists and influencers on social media? Have you tried to copy their looks, used the products advertised on their post, but your make up isn’t the same as theirs?

Here is the thing, you can devote hours blending out your foundation, crafting a flawless eye shadow look and mastering the perfect dewy highlight but your makeup will only be as good as its base. What do I mean by that? Well, prepping your skin correctly can make a world of a difference when it comes to applying your makeup.

Follow these steps for a flawless skin prep routine:

Step1: Cleansing has so many benefits for the skin. Not only does regular cleansing help retain pore size, but it also aids to create supple-looking and healthy skin. If you have oily skin, perhaps try the double cleansing trend as this can prevent the production of excess oils. For the best makeup application, cleanse in the remove any toxins built up from the night.

Step 2: Exfoliate, alongside your morning cleanse, it is vital to also exfoliate your skin. Not only will this get rid of any dead skin cells on the surface of your skin, but it will clear the skin of any accumulating sweat, bacteria and dirt. Alongside providing the ultimate smooth base for makeup application, it will help to minimise your pores for flawless looking makeup.

Step 3: Toner is the intermediate step, but it is a step that should not be overlooked. It is a great addition to your skincare routine because it prevents ingrown hairs, refreshes the skin and shrinks pores. For maximum hydration to the skin, toner should be applied after cleansing and before moisturising. Hydrated skin will result in a smooth, plump complexion, and therefore better-looking makeup.

Step 4: Moisturize, Lightly massaging your skin with a moisturizer will hydrate your skin, improve blood circulation and brighten it instantly. Choose a moisturizer that works well for your skin type, anything that does not absorb well or isn’t too hydrating for your skin is of no use. Opt for oil-free moisturizers such as the Ponds Super Light Gel Oil Free Moisturizer for oily skin. Dry skin should be moisturized with cream or oil-based moisturizers such as the Simple Kind To Skin Replenishing Rich Moisturizer.

Step 5: lip prep If you have ever applied lipstick on dry, chapped lips, you have probably noticed your lipstick flaking off. To combat this, use a lip scrub to ensure the best lipstick results and to get rid of any dry skin. An added benefit to using a lip scrub is that it prevents any discolouration on your lips, so you look your best makeup- free too. Be sure to use a lip balm immediately after to keep your lips soft and supple

Step 6: Prime, It is rare that your skin will always look flawless. Naturally, we all occasionally get acne, enlarged pores and imperfections. However, a primer can really help to provide a good base for your makeup. Primers fill in the pores on the skin, smooth out blemishes and provide a natural glow to the skin. Not only do they help to prevent your makeup sliding off your face, but there is now a primer for almost every skin condition. For example, if you have uneven pigmentation in your skin, you can opt for a colour correcting primer whereas if you suffer mainly from enlarged pores, try a blurring prime.

Now that you’ve let your primer sink into the skin, you’re ready to proceed with foundation. If you would like a rundown of how to get the best make up tips let me know! Go checkout a few detailed classes on our social media pages

@MKM make up. Stay glowy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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