Botswana’s ‘straight’ men who sleep with gay men
WeekendLife
For many years and arguably to this day, many people are ostracised for their sexual identity and or their sexual preferences. As a result of this many- both men and women- hide their sexual orientation from their loved ones or from society itself, this has led to many living in the shadows of what truly pleases them. It has come to light that many Batswana men have a certain taste for their own kind-men sleeping with men. The argument is that, though they may sleep with men, they are attracted to women and are not gay, their preference for sometimes or on occasion sleeping with the same sex is merely for pleasure, to scratch an itch.
For some of these men (Men Sleeping with Men (MSM)), they do not identify themselves as gay in anyway, and see their acts of coitus as nothing but a sexual act and not their identity.
According to a research made by Scholars Strategy Network, there is a difference between identity and behaviours and their research highlights that sexual orientation and sexual identity are different. “Sexual orientation refers to attractions, fantasies, and desires, as well as sexual behaviours. Sexual identity refers to how individuals understand their sexuality in the context of other aspects of their lives, especially the groups and institutions they feel part of,” the research highlights.
This could mean that a lot of men in relatively stable heterosexual relationships may very well be exploring the same sex for sexual gratifications, and still go home to their families and live life as if nothing happened.
WeekendLife explored this topic further with local music sensation Motswafere, who also identifies as a feminine gay man. He confirmed that there are men in Botswana who are fascinated by cross-dressing and feminine gay people and they have a fetish for them.
“Sometimes they do it to release their anger of a part of themselves that haunts them but because of society they can’t explore freely. So they do it in secret. And in the process they might lie to the vulnerable gay person, just to get what they want and leave, but the gay person would have become attached. Sometimes falling victim to being the provider to this person, at the end they realise they invested in a project that never was.’’
In some cases, these are straight boys who lure in weak feminine boys, to swindle them of money for the gain of sexual pleasure. The straight claiming men, are cunning and tactical to benefit out of this. You find out that these men also target rich white guys and just the rich, and they become trophy muscle boys or slave boys, because they are there to offer sex for the high life,” said Motswafere.
It has become more of a trend as more people especially men, find themselves tied down by life due to financial restraints and the only way out would be for them to sleep with men. It then becomes one of the many ways to milk vulnerable people of their money without any emotional attachment, this however as much as it may seem as prostitution is not always the case for why MSMs exist.
“It is becoming more and more apparent, because men these days don’t want to work hard, the youth as a whole. So ‘Men sleeping with Men’ is one way to diversify their income.
And sometimes the helpless feminine gay boys who pay them are left with threats like ‘if you tell people about this, you are dead!’ Some men like domination, the fact that they are dominant and taking from you, emasculating you, gives them power, men love power, so when they do another man, their power is heightened, that is one of the reasons why. So, a lot of straight men now have been reduced to the thought that every gay person needs them. Especially to service them sexually and in return they would be given money,” he said.
Another young man who identifies as gay, Prince Molefinyane strongly believes that there is no such thing as having sex with other men and not classifying yourself as gay. “This is bigotry unrevealed and it really irks me when gays let themselves fall for such people who cannot proudly announce themselves as part of us. Those people can’t just accept their sexuality,” he said.
LEGABIBO VIEW Bradley Fortuin, Acting CEO of LEGABIBO, confirmed that it is possible for men who are heterosexuals to have sex with other men and not identify as gay or bisexual.
“That is like a sexual practice which does not define your sexual orientation or how you sexually identify yourself. Just like how you can find gay men who engage in sexual practice with women, for various reasons. There is a whole difference between the two,” he highlighted.
When asked whether MSM’s are recognised under LGBTQI he said, “They can be gay, bisexual, queer or straight. Remember MSM is only the sexual act not the identity. So yes, they can identify as that,” he said.
WeekendLife
Creatives taking over 2023
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They love concept-driven designs, storytelling and they bring fresh ideas and new perspectives that will leave footprints in the sand. Post the COVID-19 pandemic, these creative minds utilized the drawing board and they became cognizant that monetizing content will actually take them far, which is frank nonetheless.
This is commendable though, but the creative industry will still need support from government in order for it to flourish further. Allocation of resources (funds, facilities and empowerment) should be done consistently, creativity must be raised and at the end of the day, the economy benefits from that kind of investment.
HAN C
Ever since he parted ways with his former manager, DJ Bougee Sid, Mahalapye born-pint sized, multi-award-winning artist, Hanceford Magapatona has been taking up space, unapologetically so. Han C has shown a strong will to take over the entire world, and he is in the right direction. He’s solely organizing the annual Mahalapye Spring Festival, which is taking place next weekend.
The Pepetetsa hitmaker raked some monies from his savings to put together this event. Mahalapye Spring Festival will feature Paige, Ubuntu Band, Khoisan, Amantle Brown and Double Up among others. Even though it didn’t come as a surprise, Han C was nominated at African Muzik Magazine Awards (AFRIMMA) in the US, under Best Male Southern Africa category.
However, the award was snatched by the late South African rapper, AKA. Its not all lost as Han C secured two nominations at the Yarona FM Music Awards (YAMAs): People’s Choice of the Year and Best Male Single.
KOKETSO MOTSWAGOLE
This entrepreneur has turned his dreams into reality, and his promising apparel business is now a fashion destination. Matter of fact, Motswagole weathered the storms to be where he is now because through criticism and social media bullying, he still leads the pack in fashion.
His social media accounts got deleted but through his online store, KM Sales, Motswagole is able to rake in some profits. He initially started selling from his car but now owns a busy store and has employed a number of young people.
KM Sales has been offering fashionable items (shoes, t-shirts, pants) and has been participating in various lifestyle events such as Garden of Drip where it showcases its products.
If there is one young entrepreneur to draw motivation from is Koketso. The business started from humble beginnings, at the time when he worked part time at Ipelegeng as a casual labor. Indeed, good things come to those who wait, or well, work like a slave today, live like a king tomorrow.
KAGISO LUDO DE KLERK
Vee Mampeezy’s ex-wife Kagiso De Klerk clearly did not sit and weep over their dramatic divorce. The famous social media influencer hurriedly picked up the pieces and went hard on promoting business online. She literally took social media influencing to the head and it is working for her.
This year saw her partnership with Shell reach greater heights, and obviously, she is raking lot of pulas from the deal. Kagiso has been making frequent appearances in top events in South Africa such as Bubbles in Spring and Gold and Diamond Experience.
GAONA DINTWE
After a long break from the limelight, renowned media and radio personality, Gaona Dintwe is back. She was missed by many on TV, and she’s back where she belongs, news anchoring on BTV. Gaona has also found a niche in podcasting. She is a host of her own podcast, Gaona Live Conversation, where various people share their stories on camera.
Some of what they discuss is Gender Based Violence (GBV), polygamy and drug addiction. This is highly commendable because even BTV doesn’t have programs that discuss these crucial social issues. The Lentswelemoruti native is also seen in various corporate events where she is engaged as a host.
WeekendLife
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Now that one-man shows are made fashionable, traditional dance guru and ex-convict, Ditiro Leero is joining the crusade and he will be hosting his also. The show will be held next month at Zone 4 Farm in Selokolela, but the there are traditional dance music artists who have been lined up to perform at the show. Matshana, Morwa Leka and Maswailathota will be doing their thing and probably bring some heat too. Ditiro Leero will be making history as the first traditional artist to host a one-man show in Botswana.
WeekendLife
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With only two months before Miss World 2023, the reigning Miss Botswana, Lesego Chombo is having many irons in the fire, preparing for the much-anticipated beauty pageant. Miss World 2023 will be the 71st edition of Miss World pageant and it will be held in India. Chombo has been spotted toning her body at Jack’s gym, a requirement that is taken seriously at the pageant. She has also been participating in charity events, something that should add to her profile at the Miss World.