Marriage realities and lockdown!
WeekendLife
Lockdown has proved to be one of the best ways to control the spread of covid-19, even so, lockdown has given birth to a ridiculous higher number of gender based violence cases globally, with South Africa recording a staggering 87 000 during the lockdown period.
Many women have found hope and protection from shelters than in their own homes. While this raises a concern, it goes without saying that critical times such as this could build homes but it must be pointed out that they could also shutter homes as some are susceptible to violence.
While healthy homes breed good children, it is very imperative that parents also give their children a proper home for a proper upbringing.
Times as these, could mean couples are going to fight a lot. Sometimes it is hard to stand your partner, imagine now in an instance where circumstances force you to be with her or him all day long and all night long, it could only be a roller-coaster of emotions, which could be draining at times. So here is our two cents guide on how to make this time exciting with your partner.
WeekendLife interviewed one of the marital advisors, who also scripts a weekly television show on marriage that airs on Botswana Television every evening Mrs Thaba. She advised couples to locate fun during lockdown and enjoy themselves as a family.
Now that couples are together probably three things will happen – They will actually be forced to communicate as they used to in their dating days when they spent more time together and actually revive the love; they are going to start getting on each other’s nerves and fight even more, or they will use social media and television as a way of entertaining them so that although they are living together they aren’t actually enjoying each other’s company because they live parallel lives under the same roof, she said.
I advise that couples use this rare gift where they basically are on a mandated “staycation” where they don’t have to go to work to really rekindle the love. They can do dance parties with their kids, make meals together, do chores together, sleep late in bed and snuggle and talk, do online exercising together, play games together, or read the Bible together (my book Dive In is a great resource to teach that!. Another fun thing to do is to come up with random questions to ask each other just to get to know each other again. Make it a game to play to really talk and laugh and communicate about something other than Corona virus.
Everyone in relationship deserves to be given space and time to be alone, it helps to calm nerves and give an allowance to think and be with yourself. Therefore, she advises that partners could find something to do whilst in their own space.
If they are really getting on each other’s nerves, then the best thing is to find a way to put some space between each other. My advice would be to go spend some time reading the Bible and asking God to show you what you did wrong or what you could do to improve.
If you can humble yourself and go back and apologize and serve the other person selflessly, you might find lock down provides a time to actually work through some issues that you could normally just avoid indefinitely. But it is normal to need alone time. In that case, read a book, study the Bible, chat on WhatsApp, Facebook, watch a movie, take a nap or do something to get some alone time in a way that energizes you so you can hang out again with people in a refreshed way, Thaba said.
Conflicts will always bore their way into relationships and marriages hence she advised that couples should know the importance of conflict resolution and not talking off issues but instead dealing with these issues because we know they will be closer in the end if they work through stuff instead of letting it build up.
It is also important to only choose one issue at a time to work through. Otherwise, emotions will get too out of control and nothing will get solved. Also, another key point in solving conflict is to focus on LISTENING to the other person not just trying to get your point across. Really strive to understand where they are coming from.
Even if you don’t agree, it will soften your anger to at least understand why they are doing what they are doing or saying what they are saying. Sometimes you cant change the past. In that case, you might have to forgive, let go and come up with some very clear solutions of what to do in the future to avoid hurting the other person, she stated.
The Thabas have been married for 16 years and she said that their biggest secret is learning to both seek God first. When we humble ourselves before God and follow His ways and not ours, we are both more loving and understanding. We also make it a goal to have fun together. Let me give you an example.
Percy has been working nonstop to get our website up and running because so many people are wanting to watch our TV show online. So he spent most of the day yesterday on the computer apart from meals which I make sure we put all work aside and eat together and talk as a family. Anyway, so last night after the kids went to bed, she said.
I went to sit next to Percy so at least we were sitting next to each other while he worked. He had an online radio station playing softly in background and a nice love song came on so I said “let’s dance”. He was like “no, not now.. I am busy.”
I just turned up the music and pulled him up out of his chair even as he protested he didn’t have time for this! Sometimes I just have to make him step away from his work because otherwise the guy will work himself to death! By the time the song finished, he was smiling and laughing and I released him to get back to work, but then at least we could keep giving each other little loving looks after our spontaneous dance.
I am giving that as an example to say you have to be creative and you have to make it happen. Otherwise, even on lock down, we find ways to get busy and co-exist without laughter and love.
WeekendLife
Thabiso Maretlwaneng certified Master in filmmaking
“IT’S TIME FOR US TO ARCHIVE BOTSWANA HISTORY INTO BIOPICS FILMS”
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Dr Lame Pusetso comes to writer’s rescue
Multi award winning author of fifteen (15) books, Dr Lame Pusetso has put together a platform to empower local writers. Dr Pusetso is a President and Chairperson of the Executive Board of Kasapa Society.
She is also the Managing Director of Poeticblood Publishers and an owner of an online bookstore dubbed Mind and Soul Bookstores. Dr Pusetso has reiterated her commitment to helping upcoming authors, writers and poets in establishing their crafts and capitalizing on them.
In an exclusive interview this week, she said that she has put together a platform dubbed Botswana Literature Awards, which have fourteen categories.
When quizzed on what the awards stand for, Dr Pusetso said “writing as a form of art in Botswana is a skill that many have and have always been exploring. As a publisher, I have met different writers from all walks of life and some indicating that there isn’t enough motivation to keep going.”
In Botswana and according to the writer, there has been a limited representation of appreciation of authors. This is despite their efforts year in year out.
The whole intention of these awards really is to honor and recognize the hard work that local authors put in, when doing what they know best (writing).
“This is a way of appreciating their creativity and we will be doing this across all genres. The awards also act as a motivational tool to young writers who still have dreams of becoming best selling authors. Quite frankly, their works are of great importance and we cannot afford to let that slide like that.”
Dr Pusetso emphasized that all the winners will walk away with an award, a certificate and complimentary gifts to take home. “The two winners of Best Overall Author and Best Young Author will in addition receive book publication deals which includes book distribution and marketing for a year.
She gave a clearer picture of how authors can be a part of the literature awards.
“The awards are open to every author from the age of 7, must be a Motswana, and their book should have been published before or by 2022. For authors with more than one book, they are allowed to compete with only one book for one category, and different books for different categories.”
The young writer pinned hope on institutional collaborations, in order to stage the second edition of the awards next year, saying “We believe with these awards, the different institutions and stakeholders will show interest in helping nurture the literature scenario in Botswana.”
“It will also give authors hope and light to keep writing and penning down their stories for the benefit of all. We anticipate to host the next edition in 2024 with assistance from all interested parties.”
THE LITERATURE AWARDS CATEGORIES
Dr Pusetso stressed that there are fourteen (14) categories, and they are: Religious or Faith Based Book, Poetry Book, Children’s Book, Multi-lingual Writer, Best Collaboration, Setswana Novel, English Novel, Motivational Book, Best Young Author (7-13), Overall Best Author, Best Theory, Best Online Writer, Best Media Writer (Honor Award) and Honor Award (Long Serving Best Author).
EXPLAINING SPECIAL AWARDS
Best Media and Honor Award, Dr Pusetso said are not based on submissions but nomination by the committee. “For Honor Award, we want to appreciate the individual who has inspired the Botswana writing scenario over the years and even assisted numerous authors as both a writer and a community leader.”
The Best Media Writer award is meant to appreciate a journalist who is actively taking part in appreciating and helping authors in marketing, advertising and affording them a platform to showcase their works through their writing skills.
Meanwhile, the Botswana Literature Awards will be held on the 29th April and they are partially sponsored through the literacy grant. This is a grant under the Botswana National Library Services which falls under the Ministry of Youth, Gender, Sports and Culture.
WeekendLife
Women’s Awards hit the ground running
The second edition of the much-anticipated Women’s Awards Botswana will be going down on the 27th May 2023 in Gaborone at Travel Lodge. The organizers of the prestigious awards have announced finalists, with three nominees per category.
Women’s Awards Botswana is established to empower women and celebrate them from all walks of life and across sectors. The awards raise awareness for women to be granted equal participation, particularly in decision-making positions, as one way of breaking the gender bias.
They also seek to celebrate the outstanding achievements of women from diverse industries in Botswana. Taking a closer look at the categories, He for She award celebrates and shines a light on men who stand and support women.
These are men who advocate for inclusion of women, men who stand against GBV and men who promote any service that can better women life. Her Abilities award looks into women who have shown determination to keep moving and achieve any goal they have set for themselves, regardless of their disability.
Other awards are self-explanatory. They celebrate women in arts, culture and entertainment, agriculture, creativity, innovation and technology, tourism and hospitality, community impact as well as organization supporting women.
ORGANIZER SPEAKS ON CRITERIA USED
When speaking in an interview, Founder and Director of Women’s Awards Botswana, Bofelo Zebe, said in their first edition, they had fifteen categories, which was enough for a piloting project.
“But we left out many industries or lines of work. After the event, we received reviews and suggestions, and there was an intensive evaluation that led to us increasing the categories to eighteen for this second edition.”
He said the nominees were voted in by the public, adding that the finalists were judged by a panel with the support of votes from their supporters.
When shedding light on what winners take home, Zebe indicated that there is an award trophy, certificate and goodie bags for all categories but “we are working to have financial sponsors jump on board so that winners and nominees can receive monetary incentives. We are also busy at work trying to retain our previous sponsors.”
THE 2023 WOMEN’S AWARDS BOTSWANA NOMINEES
HE FOR SHE AWARD
Desmond Lunga, Tlhabo Kgosiemang and Christopher Seagateng
BEST WOMAN IN ARTS, CULTURE AND ENTERTAINMENT
Ditshupo Mosoboloko, Thanolo Keutlwile and Seneo Mabengano
HER ABILITIES AWARD
Koketso Seleke, Goabo Kgasa and Mumsie Odirile
SPORTS WOMAN OF THE YEAR
Naledi Marape, Ouname Mhotsha and Keamogetse Kenosi
WOMAN FASHION DESIGNER OF THE YEAR
Montle Rantatana, Lesedi Matlapeng and Trudy Bakwena
BEST WOMAN IN AGRICULTURE
Nomathemba Masuku, Basadi Molelekeng and Keolebogile Keabetswe
BEST WOMAN IN CREATIVITY, INNOVATION AND TECHNOLOGY
Marang Mbaakanyi, Didintle Moreki and Thandeka Palai
BEST WOMAN IN TOURISM AND HOSPITALITY
Masego Keleadile, Wapula Matshambane and Tshepo Phokoje
YOUNG WOMAN OF THE YEAR
Bridget Gothaang, Waone Makobo and Kimberly Matheakgomo
WOMAN OWNED SME BUSINESS OF THE YEAR
Suits Africa, Nomlu Nail Bar and Sunflower Desserts
BEST WOMAN OWNED BUSINESS
Prezlin Clothing and Dawn Bell Academy
FEMALE MUSIC ARTIST OF THE YEAR
Mpho Sebina, Dato Seiko and Priscilla K
BEST ORGANIZATION SUPPORTING WOMEN
Sekao Foundation, The Fighters Support Group and Single Mothers Living with HIV
BEST WOMAN WITH COMMUNITY IMPACT
Lebopo Bulayani, Nanzelela Chaitezvi and Kebadile Wasenda
MEDIA WOMAN OF THE YEAR
Poppy Sello, Keikantse Shumba and Kedi Lezozo
FAVOURITE PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR
Marang Selolwane, Palesa Molefe and Masi Sithole
BEST WOMAN IN LEADERSHIP
Naseem Lahri, Neo Bogatsu and Lily Rakorong