More of the principles that we should be cultivating and implanting into our daily lives:
To steer clear of adultery and illicit relations: These illicit relations and perversions bring the greatest harm to individuals, families and societies. Refraining from and observing proper behaviour in such matters, leads to a healthy, happy upright and moral society. Regrettably nowadays these illicit relations have become a bane to society and this have led to many family breakups and the added heartache and misery to all those concerned.
We should all be committed to a lifestyle that is pure, clean and socially responsible. Islam and indeed all major religions teach that one should not come even close to adultery or fornication. â€¨â€˜Nor come near to adultery for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road to other evilsâ€™. (17:32)
In the Bible: â€œYou shall not commit adulteryâ€ (Exodus 20: 14); And Matthew 5; 28
To respect the sanctity of life and not to kill anyone: Some people may read this and ask â€˜but what about the reports of many people being killed by Islamic militantsâ€™? Let us be clear about this, Islam does not allow the killing of innocent people. Some of these terrorist groups use the name of Islam for their own selfish and nefarious agenda. In some sections of the media there is an agenda, politics plays a major role too, to tarnish the name of Islam by adding the title â€˜Islamistâ€™ to any misdeed carried out anywhere in which a Muslim is involved.
Never will we read any report that says a gunman has killed people: for example the Danish student who killed over 70 school kids, being labelled with his religion.Â Hitler killed millions but never has his religion ever been mentioned. Islam recognizes the sanctity of life and we should not do anything that may jeopardize it. One should avoid aggression and violence, because these things lead to murder. Every Muslim must be committed to peaceful ways. However, justice must be maintained, because just punishment brings safety and protects life.â€¨Qurâ€™an: â€˜And kill not one another..â€™(4:29).In the Bible: â€œYou shall not killâ€ (Exodus 20:13
To be humble and have no arrogance: Moderation and balance is the best thing in oneâ€™s behaviour as well as in oneâ€™s attitudes toward others. A Muslim should be a dignified and humble person. A Muslim should not not boastful, arrogant or pompous. Muslim thanks Allah for all His gifts and the ultimate praise and glory belongs to Allah.â€¨â€˜Do not swell thy cheek with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah does not love an arrogant boaster. And be moderate and your pace, lower your voiceâ€¦.(Quran 31:18-19)
â€œBefore destruction the heart of man is haughty, and before honour [is] humilityâ€ (Proverbs 18:12). â€œFor whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exaltedâ€. (Luke 14:11) To be careful with your money and not to be extravagant: A Muslim should live a balanced life style. Extravagance is frowned upon and not recommended, but also one should not become stingy and miserly. Importantly, money should be earned in Halal (lawful) ways and be spent in the correct manner. This must also be applied to all resources that Allah has given us. Careful, wise and responsible use of resources is a very important commitment of Muslims.
â€˜Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not miserly, but hold a just balance between those extremesâ€¦ (Quran 25:67). And â€˜â€¦wear your beautiful apparelâ€¦ eat and drink, but do not waste by excess, for Allah does not love the wastersâ€™ (Quran 7:31). Further: â€˜â€¦but squander not your wealth in a manner of a spendthrift. Verily spendthrifts are brothers of the evil onesâ€¦â€¦ (Quran 17: 27).
The Bible says: â€˜For the love of money is the root of all evil; which while some covet after, they have erred from faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrowsâ€™.Â (1Timothy 6: 10) I have created the waster to destroy (Isaiah 54:16) To fulfil the promises and your commitments: Promises and contracts are an important part of our daily lives. When promises are not kept, people lose trust in each other and the whole society becomes weak. Our commitment must be to speak the truth, to be honest and when we make a pledge we do our best to fulfil our pledges. However this commitment does not end with those around us but must include the commitment that we make to our Lord and Creator.
â€˜Those who faithfully observe their trusts and their covenants â€¦.these will be the heirs, who will inherit Paradise; they will dwell therein foreverâ€™ Quran (23: 8-11). â€˜O, you who believe, fulfil your undertakingsâ€¦â€™ (Quran 5: 1) â€œWhen you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay what you vow. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not payâ€. Ecclesiastes 5: 4-5. â€œMy covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lipsâ€. (Psalm 89:34)
Refrain from Gossip and backbiting. Many of us are prone to gossiping about others; to some it has become an important past time in their daily lives, they hunger for it. This includes back biting, carrying of tales, ridiculing and even making fun of others. This can be hurtful to the person being spoken about because when we do so, we do not realize the difference nor make the distinction between truth and falsehood of our assertions and accusations.
â€˜Woe to every slanderer and backbiter.â€™ (Qurâ€™an 104: 1). â€˜O you who believe avoid suspicion as much as possible; for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. (Qurâ€™an 49:12). And, â€˜those who love (to see) scandal published broadcast among the Believers, will have a grievous Penalty in this life and in the Hereafterâ€™.Â (Qurâ€™an 24:19). Bible â€œAÂ gossipÂ betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. (Proverbs 20:19)
Enjoining good and forbidding wrong
We have been directed to enjoin good and guide people to what is right. Many of us see so many wrongs being committed yet we keep quiet and look the other way. We fail to differentiate between good and bad and as a result there is so much evil in this world. It is the responsibility of each and every one of us to remind one another of our obligations to our Lord and Creator.
â€˜Evil and good are not alike, even though the plenty of evil attract thee. So be mindful of your duty to Allahâ€™ (Quran 5: 100). And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends, one of another; they enjoin right conduct and forbid indecency..â€™ (Quran 3: 100) These are but a few, among the many of the universal principles that we should attempt to live by â€“ but the greatest is that we should live a life that is in congruence with the ways of our Lord and Creator.
Allah Almighty declares in The Holy Quran “Let there arise out of you a band of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong: they are the ones to attain success.”(Quran 3 :104)
It is worthy to note that this verse not only lays the basis for sound social interaction /dealings but clearly shows that Islam instructs nothing but righteousness. Likewise at the same time, it prohibits wrong and evil deeds. Unfortunately most people do not know the virtuous Islamic teachings. In order to guide mankind with the right religion and complete way of life, Allah our Creator and Sustainer has commanded us to enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also enjoins us to observe righteousness and forbid evil deeds. The following are some of his teachings which show how much concern he had for the enjoining of what is right and forbidding what is wrong. There is a narration from one of the companions who narrated that he heard Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) saying, “He amongst you who sees something abominable / offensive should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has no strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue. And if he has no strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart and that is the least of faith”.
Need to invite others towards Righteousness
Islam encourages its Believers to be righteous and, at the same time, to invite others to righteousness. Allah’s Messenger not only enjoins us to adhere to righteousness but also encourages us to call people to it:
One of Holy Prophet’s companion said that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him)said, He who calls people to righteousness, there would be reward (assured) for him like the rewards of those who adhered to it, without their rewards being diminished in any respect. And he who calls (people) toclear that He loves the righteous (Quran 9 : v 4) and those who do good (Quran 5 : 93). It is therefore, an act of righteousness on the part of the Believers to invite others to all that is good.
Concept of righteousness in Islam
Islam, as a Way of Life, teaches us the true meaning of righteousness based on divine injunctions. Allahsays in His Book:“It is not righteousness that you turn your faces toward East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in Allahand the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance – out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which you have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and at times of distress. Such are the people of truth, they are the God-fearing”. (Quran 2 :177)
The above verse tells us that the righteous are those who are truly God-fearing. They show their true and sincere faith in Allah, not only by praying to Him but also by giving charity, fulfilling contracts, and being firm and patient in whatever trials Allah Almighty may bring to them. Allah s Messenger (peace be upon him) defines righteousness as follows:
Another companion narrated that Allah Messenger (peace be upon him)said, “Righteousness is that with which the soul is tranquil and the heart is tranquil, but sin is that which arouses doubt / suspicion in the soul and is perplexing in the chest, even if people give you a decision in its favor”.
From the above definitions of righteousness in Islam, the righteous individuals are expected to be assets and not liabilities to the society, to which they belong, and to humanity as a whole.
Great promise for the Righteous
Righteousness is one of most important the keys to Paradise, as is highlighted in the following verses of the Holy Qur’an:
“Give glad tidings to those who believe and work righteousness that their portion is the Gardens beneath which rivers flow…” (Quran 2 : 25)
“Praise be to Allah Who has revealed to His Servant the Book and has allowed therein no crookedness. (He has made n 18 : 1-3)
“You will see the wrongdoers in a state of fear on account of what they have earned and (the burden of) that must (necessarily) fall on them. But those who believe and work righteous deeds will be in the Gardens of Bliss. They shall have all that they wi
The best among mankind in the sight of our Creator is he who is most righteous. Allah Almighty tells us: “O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most
“When honesty is lost, then wait for the Hour (the Day of Judgment)”. These are the words of Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). They paint a picture of the time leading up to the Day of Judgement, when righteous people will be sorrowful due to the lack of honesty around them.
Influence of materialism
Honesty, like morality, is an in built and essential characteristic of every human but the influence of materialism and the greed and desire for status, position, fame, wealth, etc. have wreaked havoc in human society, to an extent never seen before. In the 21st century, we live in a world where honesty is less valued than ever before and in fact even shunned at times. We expect people to be honest in their dealings with us yet we ourselves promote deceit and dishonesty through our action and speech on a daily basis.Many of us even watch and applaud television shows and movies that promote and encourage lying, infidelity and deceitfulness.
Desire for worldly gain
In the corporate world, ‘deceitful’ statements and figures are announced and pronounced to lure investors, glamorous yet deceitful adverts to attract customers, etc. have all become the norm and honesty goes out of the window. Even in the media industry, honesty seems to be waning very rapidly. Let alone the due regard of one’s conscience but without a second thought or due consideration of the rights of the others, stories are churned out with so-called “sensational” add-ons, etc. simply for the sake of being the “first” to break the news or for the sake of having the “best” story or maybe even for the sake of just having increased an readership or viewership.
Thoughtless individual behaviour
Without thinking, we indirectly teach our children that dishonesty is acceptable. When we expect our children to tell the caller on the telephone we are not home, this is a lesson in deceit. When we answer the cellphone and say that we are busy in a meeting yet we very much relaxed and free, or we say we are out of town yet we are at home, etc. we are being blatantly dishonest. When we refuse to settle our debts and dues making all sorts of pretences, we are actually lying. We admonish and reprimand our children for lying, yet the reality is we have been their teachers. Whether we tell lies, or whether we allow our children to live in a world surrounded by deceit, the lesson is learned and the honesty begins to disappear from the hearts of people – in particular the next generation.
Integrity and reliability
We must understand that honesty incorporates the concepts of truthfulness and reliability and it resides in all human thought, words, actions and relationships. It is more than just accuracy; it is more than just truthfulness, it denotes integrity or moral soundness. Belief in God Almighty commands truthfulness and forbids lying. In the Holy Quran, God Almighty commands that humans be honest: “O you who believe! Be conscious of God Almighty, and be with those who are true (in word and deeds).” (Ch9 : v 119). A renowned Holy Quran scholar explained the meaning of this verse. He said, “Being truthful and adhering to truthfulness, means you will be among the people of the truth (by speaking and behaving in a truthful manner) and be saved from calamity and that is what will really make a way out for you from your problems (in the long run)”.
Honesty and truthfulness go hand in hand
A true Believer, one who is truly submitted to God, has many characteristics by which he/she can be identified. The most obvious of these noble characteristics are honesty of character and truthfulness of speech. Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) was a perfect example of honesty. The records of history clear show that even before he was bestowed Prophet hood by The Almighty, he had earned the titles of “As Saadiq” (the truthful) and “Al Ameen” (the trustworthy one), within the community. They had full trust in his honesty and integrity to such a degree that they would accept anything he said. Prophet Muhammed (pbuh), once gathered all the people of Makkah at the base of Mount Safa and asked them, “O people of Makkah! If I say to you that an army is advancing on you from behind the mountains, will you believe me?” All said in one voice, “Yes, because we have never heard you telling a lie.” All the people, without exception, swore to his truthfulness and honesty because he had lived an unblemished and extremely upright life among them up to that point in time – for forty years.
Honesty in a comprehensive manner
This honesty, an essential ingredient of the human character, includes being truthful towards God by worshipping Him sincerely; being truthful to oneself, by adhering to God’s laws; and being truthful with others by speaking the truth and being honest in all dealings, such as buying, selling, social interaction, marriage,etc. There should be no deceiving, cheating, falsifying or withholding of information, thus a person should be the same on the inside as he/she is on the outside.
Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) informed us of the great benefits of living in an honest and truthful way and warned us of the dangers inherent in dishonesty and falsehood. He said: “Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. In addition, a person keeps on telling the truth until they are recorded by God Almighty as a very truthful person. And falsehood leads to wickedness (and evil-doing), and wickedness leads to the (Hell) Fire. In addition, and a person keeps on telling lies until they are recorded by God Almighty as a very great liar”.
For those who wish to be among the truthful, Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) has left us with these words of guidance, “Let he who believes in God and the Last Day either speak good or (otherwise) remain silent”.
A successful, vibrant society is based upon honesty and justice, and is intolerant of dishonesty in all its various forms. The Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) exhorted the faithful to be scrupulously honest in all their social dealings, business transactions, etc. at all times.
When we look around in the world of today most of us will be astounded / astonished and speechless at the behaviour of some of the younger generation. Their errant and devious behaviour of many of them is alarming and to put it mildly upsetting to say the least. Their behaviour and actions show that they have shed their traditional, cultural, moral and importantly their religious values and upbringing for the ‘new world’ style of living. This issue cuts across all religious, social, cultural, economic and ethnic barriers.
Looking into the matter deeper one has to ask if these children have had the proper upbringing and parental guidance from their parents and family members. Parents hold that enormous responsibility in raising their children to be responsible by steering their upbringing to become responsible citizens and adults of tomorrow. The Holy Qur’an says: ‘O you who believe! Save yourself and your families from the Fire of Hell’. (Quran 66: 6)
In Islam raising children to be responsible Muslims is a responsibility placed squarely on the shoulders of the parents. The task is to mould that child into an Islamic personality, with good morals, strong Islamic principles, knowledge and behaviour so that they can face the demands of life in a responsible manner.
Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said: ‘Children have the right to be raised as responsible Muslim adults, and parents must ensure that right appropriately. Parents must be conscious and take an active role in guiding their children and families on the path of truth.’
As parents we hold that enormous responsibility and also the leverage in terms of what we teach our children and accordingly how our children grow up to be adults. “http://www.iqrasense.com/islam” \o “Islam” Islam, therefore, holds parents responsible for steering their children’s upbringing according to the guidelines of the “http://www.iqrasense.com/quran” \o “Quran” Quran and the Prophet’s traditions and teachings.
Besides teaching them the human values, morals and the manner of behaviour, children should be taught Islamic morals, characters, and etiquette from an early age so that it becomes part of their habits. Children should be taught the principles of humility, tolerance, patience, and other such behavioural traits. These personality traits can help any individual tremendously in their later lives. For example, teach them about patience and tolerance and dealing and coping with tough situations, and they will be thankful to you for the rest of their lives.
Needless to say that this should begin with the proper environment at home that inculcates the best moral and behavioural standards. Hence we have the responsibility to ensure that there exists a healthy home environment for their upbringing. Training them to grow up to become responsible citizens requires that parents actively maintain an atmosphere at home that is conducive to positive learning and upbringing. Therefore, requires that parents too, model their lives according to the Islamic way of life. Children can get conflicting messages and can get confused when they do not see parents and elders following the very same instructions and behavioural patterns that they give to them, or when out of excessive love for them, parents become so indulgent that they turn a blind eye to their sins and fail in checking them. We cannot rely on absent parenting or parenting by remote control.
It is well known that children who are raised in households where there is constant bickering, fighting, abuse and swearing, not only learn to develop the same habits but can even suffer personality disorders later in life. Regrettably this is so because many homes are filled with strife and are not conducive to proper upbringing of children. In many homes we see the destruction of the family unit and are no longer the havens of peace, tranquillity and comfort that we once knew. Because they are filled with domestic violence, vulgar language, family strife, lack of respect and many of today’s ills. How then do we expect to raise well-adjusted children in this poisoned atmosphere? It is true that children may not do what you tell them to do, but they will certainly find it easier to do what you do.
As parents we have to be aware of the dangers that our children face and we should try to counteract these negative influences by being more sensitive to our parenting responsibilities. Many parents may not realize it but our youth are tempted by the greatest evils of this day and age: alcohol and drugs. Make no mistake many of our youth have fallen prey to alcohol and alarmingly are experimenting with drugs. Some may be unaware but the fact is that hard drugs are now being peddled to our kids everywhere in Botswana. These drug peddlers or better described as merchants of death can nullify all the parenting efforts in an instant.
Whilst most parents do their best to raise well-adjusted children, there are many others who are somewhat oblivious and unaware of the fact that our youth today are facing a serious challenge because of societal and peer pressure of having to ‘conform’ to the youth culture of today. Regrettably most of our youth try to copy and emulate foreign cultures that are based on the foreign cultures imported from other parts of the world. These ‘alien’ cultures and have led to a breakdown in societal values that were the cornerstone of our upbringing.
In Islam parents should put in their best efforts to ensure that their children become practicing Muslims, so that they keep Islam alive in their lives and their families’ lives after their death. “No father has given a greater gift to his children than good moral training”, said the Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Parental efforts are fundamental and are very instrumental in inculcating the love of Islam and the desire to worship in the right manner. Parents should also recognize that raising good children can be a source of their salvation in the hereafter. This is because if parents raise good Allah-fearing children, those children can constantly pray to Allah for their parents after their death. Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said: “When a Muslim dies all his works also stop, except three: acts of charity which are continued, knowledge by which all profit, and a righteous son/daughter who prays for him.”
In Islam children are referred to as an ‘Amanah’, a trust, placed in our hands to nurture, love, protect, and mould into God Conscious and righteous persons in their transition to their adulthood and its attendant responsibilities. This implies that we as parents have to use our parenting skills to instil into them values, behaviour, good character, morals and principles that will mould them into a sound Islamic personality so that they are equipped to handle the demands of life in a responsible and mature fashion. This however is easier said than done.
Unfortunately there are some parents who mistakenly believe that they have fulfilled their parental obligations and duty just by sending their children to school for education. They expect that this is where they will be educated and taught life skills. Unfortunately many parents see the school as the place where children will also be taught proper behaviour and manners, conveniently forgetting that the basis for manners and behaviour start at home. The children spend more time at home than in school and the behaviour or lack of it in the home is what the kids are bound to emulate.
The bottom line is: Our children are our future. We must see to it that we raise healthy, intelligent and morally responsible children. Our commitment should be to raise them in a safe and healthy environment. We must protect their life as well as their spirit and mind, their morals and manners, only then can we guide and place them on the righteous path.
Remember one thing: when we are dead and gone, people may not remember our children by name. But when they misbehave or act in a good manner, they will say ngwana wa ga …. so and so, in other words so and so’s child. What legacy do we want to leave behind?