“Hykso slave” eventually comes to rule country on behalf of King!
The smokescreen gimmick the Enlilites came up with with a view to recapturing Egypt was to smuggle Joseph into that country under the cover story that he had been sold into slavery by his jealous and loathing brothers. For such a stunt to succeed, it had to be demonstrable and therefore convincing. It also had to be well-coordinated just in case Joseph met with disaster at some stage during his peregrinations.
The starting point, however, was to cultivate friendly forces in Egypt who would at long last be the custodians of Joseph under the story line that he was their slave. In point of fact, the Enlilites had long laid the groundwork for a sympathetic reception of Joseph by the powers that be in Egypt. For we now know that Amenhotep II, the 7th Pharaoh, had a curiously Hebrew predilection. One of his many pharaonic titles was “Hykso King of Heliopolis”, which may hint at a modicum of Jewish blood in him, likely from his mother’s side.
It is probable that Amenhotep’s mother was of Jewish stock, a cleverly contrived manoeuvre on the part of the Enlilites as a preliminary step to retake Egypt in the fullness of time. Thus if Amenhotep was kind of favourably disposed toward the Hebrews, it follows that his successor, Thothmosis IV, was most likely of a similar frame of mind. That could explain why Joseph, a full-blooded Hebrew, ultimately took centre stage in the affairs of Egypt. But we’re getting ahead of our story.
Next, a network of slave traders, all in on the ruse, had to be propositioned, syndicated, and well-orchestrated. Joseph had to be passed from one slave merchant to another and not be rushed so as allow time to ascertain whether Egyptian intelligence was sniffing around for his presence in the country. It was imperative that the Enlilites not take chances as there was always the possibility that some turncoat might spill the beans on the young man and in the event that he resultantly landed in the wrong hands, the whole plan would boomerang back horrendously. It was only when the Enlilites were satisfied all the safeguards were in place that they decided to launch Joseph into the fray.
JOSEPH OPERATIONALISED DURING RULE OF THUTMOSIS IV
Joseph was 17 years old when he set off on “Operation Retake Egypt”. Before he was taken away, his father presented him what the Bible wrongly describes as a “coat of many colours”. The Hebrew term translated “coat of many colours” is Ketonet Passim. This simply meant an ornamented tunic. It was presented by a king to his prince or princess. To the princess, it was indicative of virgin status, whereas to a prince, like Joseph was, it denoted princely status. It was a coded message to Joseph’s future Egyptian guardians that he indeed was not an ordinary Hebrew but a dynastic heir.
As per the pre-arranged setup, Joseph was sold five times for purposes of maximum precaution. His brothers sold him to the Ishmaelites. The Ishmaelites sold him to the Midianite traders. The Midianites sold him to the Medanites. It was the Medanites who sold him to the Egyptians, at which point he crossed into Egyptian territory. The Egyptians finally hawked him to his intended custodian going by the name of Potiphar.
Who was Potiphar? Genesis describes him as a “captain of the guard”, meaning the chief of the pharaoh’s security detail, something akin to Secret Service, a bureau responsible for the safety and security of the US president. This man was very strategically placed as an Enlilite agent in the corridors of Egyptian power. First, his responsibilities entailed constant interaction with the pharaoh. Second, his very senior security portfolio meant he was trusted to the hilt, so that whatever information he passed to the pharaoh was received as gospel truth. He was thus just the right guy to endear young Joseph to the pharaoh.
The pharaoh of the day was Tuthmosis IV. Although his capital was Thebes in southern Egypt, he spent the bulk of his time at his residence in Memphis, northern Egypt, which was only a stone’s throw from Avaris, where the Hykso-Hebrew remnants who stayed behind after the First Exodus under Kamose abounded and slaved. Potiphar therefore must have been based in Memphis too.
Tuthmosis IV was the 8th pharaoh of the 18th Dynasty, which began with Kamose. To tell from the features of his mummy, he is the first pharaoh from southern Egypt to bear traces of mixed blood – straight hair, narrow nose, and thin lips, characteristics which were not quintessentially Bantu. The Egyptian annals say his mother, Tiaa, was of “unknown origin”. She may as well have been a Hykso-Hebrew and her identity was jealously guarded so as not to provoke public outrage. Indeed, in those days when there were no newspapers, TV, radio, social media, or cameras of any kind, a secret could be kept from the wider public forever.
Intent at blunting the menace that was the Hittite Empire, a formidable power in the ascendant, Tuthmosis IV struck an alliance with the King of Mittani and took Mutemwiya, the latter’s daughter, as his minor wife. It was to Mutemwiya that Tuthmosis IV’s heir, Amenhotep III, was born. The fact that Tuthmosis IV’s heir came from a foreign and secondary wife and not from one of his two senior, indigenous wives attests to his desire to forge an enduring detente with the Hurrians (the people of Mittani).
THE FRAME-UP THAT NEVER WAS
All went according to plan. When Joseph arrived in Egypt, he never did a moment of slave labour: that is a cock-and-bull story. Joseph was a long-term VIP guest of Potipher: he neither worked nor toiled under him. In fact, no sooner had Joseph arrived at the Potipher estate than he arranged for him to go to school in Heliopolis.
The historian Herodotus informs us that Heliopolis was the oldest centre of learning in Egypt. It was the Oxford of the day. The city teemed with religious and academic institutions. For Joseph to be seen in a positive light by the religious establishment, he had to be well-versed in knowledge pertaining to the national god Marduk. Needless to say, this specific theology was one of his majors. In the seminary training, Joseph was taught by the priests of Heliopolis.
Now, in Egypt, Joseph was known by a different name, Yuya. We know this was an assumed name, if it can be called that in that it simply meant, “One Who Is the Son Of”. It was not an Egyptian name at all. At school, Joseph was surpassingly brilliant and so was easily noticed by his professors. By the time he was graduating, his intellectual renown had spread as far as the pharaoh’s courts at Memphis. The professors must have wondered how such a gifted youngster should be a slave in the very home he dwelt when he should have been its resident celebrity. Of course the slave tag simply was a cover story: Potipher had to have a worthwhile explanation in case something went wrong. But contrary to the Genesis story, nothing went wrong at all.
Genesis relates that the dynamically good-looking Joseph was sexually propositioned by Potipher’s wife, who upon being spurned had him framed for an attempted act of adultery. This incident led to Joseph serving time in prison. Once again, that is a fictitious story, literally: neither Joseph nor Potipher’s wife had anything to do with it. In fact, the story emerged 200 years after Joseph’s time.
Researchers have found that the Genesis writers plagiarised the substance of the story from a 12th century BC document known as The Orbiney Papyrus. The document which, dates from the reign of Pharaoh Seti II, who ruled from 1200 to 1194 BC, features a story titled The Two Brothers, which very closely mirrors the jiggery-pokery of Potipher’s wife as per the Genesis account. Reduced to its basic essentials, the story goes like this:
“Bata lived with and faithfully served his older brother, Anubis. One day Anubis’s wife tried to seduce Bata, who rejected her advances. Furious, she accused him of attempted rape, and the enraged Anubis prepared to kill Bata. But Bata, forewarned by a cow, fled in the nick of time. A lake filled with crocodiles magically appeared between the brothers, cutting off Anubis’s pursuit. Anubis returned home and proceeded to kill his wife. Meanwhile, Bata cut out his own heart and placed it high in a pine tree, an act rendering him nearly immortal.
The gods fashioned a beautiful wife for Bata. An immoral woman, however, she entered Pharaoh’s harem and divulged to the Egyptians that Bata could be killed by cutting down the pine tree. They followed through, but Anubis, apparently prepared to reconcile with Bata, found his brother’s heart and restored him to life. Bata in turn transformed himself into a bull and carried Anubis to Pharaoh’s court, where Bata’s alarmed wife persuaded Pharaoh to sacrifice the bull.
Its blood caused two trees to sprout. Realizing that Bata still lived, his wife arranged to have the trees cut down, but a splinter flew into her mouth and she became pregnant. She bore a son, whom Pharaoh raised as his crown prince. The boy – Bata himself – in due course became the pharaoh and appointed Anubis to be his viceroy.”
The two stories are not exactly identical but people who plagiarise do not do so verbatim through and through: they build into the story at least a modicum of either their own input or spin, or yet another aspect lifted from some other source. So long story short, Joseph was never the centre of a sexual scandal at any point in time whilst living in Potipher’s luxurious house. His conduct was consistently above-board. Joseph never tasted prison at all: indeed, there is nothing in the Egyptian records that remotely intimates Yuya was ever imprisoned.
JOSEPH HITCHES ROYAL LASS
When Joseph graduated, everybody wanted a piece of him thanks to his diamond-edged brilliance, his film-star looks, and his natural charisma. Among those who set his eyes on him was the chief priest of the Heliopolis temple, who the Bible calls Potipheras (a different person from Potipher, the head of royal security). The chief priest soon was match-making her gorgeous daughter Tuya with Joseph and before long the two had tied the knot. Tuya’s other name was Asenath. In Egyptian spelling, this is Nes-Net. The name evoked Nut, who in Egypt was the Anunnaki god (or goddess as she was female) of the sky.
Tuya was not simply a scion of the Egyptian priesthood: she was royalty too. She is said to have been the granddaughter of Tuthmosis III, who according to those who have studied royal Egyptian mummies, looked very much like her. Her mother, Potipheras’ wife, therefore, was a daughter of Tuthmosis III (Tuthmosis III had at least 7 official wives, three of whom foreigners).
Since Joseph too was a descendant of the great Hykso pharaoh and patriarch Jacob, this was a union, to all intents and purposes, of two dynasties. It was not a clincher yet on the part of the Enlilites but it was a significant step in that direction: their main target was the pharaonic perch itself.
Although Joseph had spent much of his Egyptian time in Heliopolis, where he went to school, and Memphis, where his guardian Potipher resided, the city he chose to dwell in after his nuptials was Khent-Min (today’s Akhmin), then the headquarters of the 9th province of southern Egypt, which was located on the east bank of the Nile. Initially, Min was another name for Enki, the overall god of Africa. It would later come to incorporate Horus, a great-great grandson of Enki, who was one of the most popular of Egyptian gods. Joseph would in future be conferred the civic title of Lord of Khent-Min such was his attachment to the city.
JOSEPH ENTERS SERVICE OF PHARAOH
Meanwhile, the chief priest of Heliopolis was determined that her daughter be ensconced near the very pinnacle of political power and in her husband Joseph, she had a wonder catalyst. Both Potipher and Potipheras were gushing in their recommendation of Joseph to the reigning Pharaoh Tuthmosis IV, projecting him as a great visionary who could help take Egypt places.
Although he was not an indigenous Egyptian, Joseph, the pharaoh was told, had come to Egypt as a slave, sold by his own dirt-poor family, and as such he was a de facto Egyptian and would never return to Canaan. “He has the mind of a prophet,” the king was told. “He can literally divine the future of Egypt. To him, interpreting a dream is child’s play.”
At the time, the pharaoh was disillusioned with his coterie of advisors who kept falling short time and again, the reason Joseph was pitched to him. Although even for the pharaoh it was love at first sight when Joseph was brought before him, he first put him on probation just to gauge his potential objectively. He was impressed beyond measure: the young Hykso-Hebrew was a genius who knew practically everything. He seemed incapable of error or ill-judgement. Joseph was hired even before the probation ran its course. He was about 30 years of age when he entered the King’s service.
Joseph’s position is said to be that of Vizier, a mistakenly assigned designation on the part of historians in our view. In today’s terms, we might call him “Prime Minister” (like Theresa May under Queen Elizabeth) or “Chancellor” (like Otto Von Bismarck under German King Kaiser Wilhem I). But as we shall see, he was more of a viceroy than prime minister or chancellor as he was an appointee and not an electee and was not subject to the King but ruled on behalf of the King.
In commissioning Joseph into service, Pharaoh Tuthmosis IV said to him, “I have set thee over all the land of Egypt … Thou shalt be over my house, and according unto thy word shall all my people be ruled; only in the throne will I be greater than thou … I am pharaoh, and without thee no man shall lift up his hand or foot in all the land of Egypt.” The pharaoh ordered every Egyptian to bow by the knee before Joseph, which made him a king in his own right. Thus while this pharaoh reigned over Egypt, the country was governed or ruled by Joseph. He made all the decisions and simply briefed the king about what he had done.
Typically, the duties of a vizier have been described as follows:
“The viziers were appointed by the pharaohs but often belonged to a pharaoh's family. The vizier's paramount duty was to supervise the running of the country, much like a prime minister. At times this even included small details such as sampling the city's water supply. All other lesser supervisors and officials, such as tax collectors and scribes, would report to the vizier. “The judiciary was part of the civil administration and the vizier also sat in the High Court. However, at any time, the pharaoh could exert his own control over any aspect of government, overriding the vizier's decisions.
“The vizier also supervised the security of the pharaoh and the palace by overseeing the comings and goings of palace visitors. “Viziers were the second in command, they oversaw the political administration and all official documents had to have his seal on them, managed the taxation system and monitored the supply of food, listened to problems between nobles and settled them, and ran the pharaoh’s household and ensured the royal family’s safety.
“From the Fifth Dynasty onwards viziers, whom by then were the highest civilian bureaucratic official, held supreme responsibility for the administration of the palace and government including jurisdiction, scribes, state archives, central granaries, treasury, storage of surplus products and their redistribution, and supervision of building projects such as the royal pyramid.
“It will be seen that the vizier is the grand steward of all Egypt, and that all the activities of the state are under his control. He has general oversight of the treasury and the chief treasurer reports to him; he is chief justice or head of the judiciary; he is chief of police, both for the residence city and kingdom; he is minister of war, both for army and navy; he is secretary of the interior and of agriculture, while all general executive functions of state, with many that may not be classified, are incumbent upon him. There is, indeed, no prime function of state that does not operate through his office.”
But Joseph was not simply a vizier: he was a super-vizier. We say this because he was practically the conscience of the pharaoh: whatever he pronounced had the force of a pharaonic fiat. Also, the name Yuya, as Joseph was known in Egypt, does not appear on the list of viziers of both Tuthmosis IV and his successor Amenhotep III, under whom Joseph consecutively served. At the time of the 18th Dynasty, there were two viziers at any one time, one for northern Egypt and another for southern Egypt.
During their collective tenure, Tuthmosis IV and Amenhotep III had a total of 7 viziers, none of whom goes by the name Yuya. Clearly, Joseph was more than a vizier in that he had two viziers under him. His unique position was the first and last in the entire history of Egypt, which goes to show that he was a man of extraordinary ability and of extraordinary capacity.
Princess Mary falls pregnant only one month after her betrothal to Prince Joseph
To put the lineage of Mary the mother of Jesus in context, General Atiku, it is in order that we begin with her grandfather Yehoshua (Jesus in Greek) III.
Mary was offspring of two royal lines, the Davidic line and the Hasmonean line. Yehoshua III was the Herod–appointed High Priest of Israel between 36 and 23 BC. He had no sons, only three daughters namely Joanna, Elizabeth, and Anna, all of whom he organised dynastic suitors.
Elizabeth would be married off into the House of Aaron, the legitimate priestly line, and Joanna and Anna would be married off into the House of David, the legitimate kingly line. That’s how Elizabeth became the wife of Zechariah of the tribe of Levi and in due course the mother of John the Baptist.
Mainstream Israel up to the level of the Sanhedrin had recognised Anna as the eligible mother of the future King of Israel and not the sitting impostor Herod (it is not clear what happened to first-born Joanna but she probably passed away before she got married). Anna was accordingly married off to Alexander III, a Davidic and Hasmonean prince who was best known as Heli as indeed the genealogy of Luke clearly attests.
Heli and Anna too had no sons. They only had daughters, the firstborn of whom was Dorcas, whose was born in 26 BC and whose titular name was Mary. Mary was orphaned early in her childhood when her father Heli was killed in 17 BC at the orders of the increasingly paranoid Herod and when her mother Anna died a year or so later.
Since she was a dynastic heiress, it was likely that Herod would come after her. The Essenes thus secreted her somewhere in remote Galilee. It was actually in Galilee that most members of the Davidic royal line were concentrated not only to keep as far away from Herod as possible but to also enjoy the protective custody of the Zealots, who were the secret military wing of the Essenes and a thorn in the side of both Herod and the Romans. Joseph was also officially based in Galilee although both he and Mary were in truth based at Qumran in the Judean wilds.
JOSEPH CALLED TO “DUTY”
Dynastic marriages are often more politically strategic than spontaneous, General. For example, the union of Prince Charles and Princess Diana was motivated by the need to fuse the Windsor genes with those of the Stuarts as the Windsors, being predominantly Reptilians, were finding it increasingly difficult to maintain their human form.
The Stuarts, the clan of Diana, had by far more human genes than Reptilian and they too were an aristocratic family. That’s why once Charles had produced a “heir and a spare”, he completely sidelined Diana, who he had never loved, and devoted himself to his real love – Camilla Parker-Bowles.
The marriage of Joseph to Mary, General, was equally strategic. Although both were from the tribe of Judah and of the royal Davidic line, they were from different branches. Joseph was a descendant of Solomon, whereas Mary was a descendant of Nathan, Solomon’s elder brother. The line of Solomon, as we once underlined, had been tainted by the Jeconiah curse.
The line of Nathan was clean. Since the son of Joseph and Mary would be the future King of Israel, it was important that he not be compromised by the baggage, rightly or wrongly, of the Jeconiah curse. Hence the desirability of the union of Prince Joseph and Princess Mary.
Now, both Joseph and Mary’s clans were Essenes. As such, their marriage process, formalities, and protocols had to strictly adhere to Essene dynastic rules. The Essenes were in ranks. Amongst the higher echelons were the two great dynasties, the Davids and the Zadoks, who had been the high priests and kings of Israel respectively before the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar in 586 BC.
The Davids and Zadoks lived a strictly holy life, typically in a monastery at Qumran, the reclusive headquarters of the Essenes. They were sequestered there so that they did not fall prey to the machinations of the bloodthirsty King Herod though officially their address was Galilee. In fact, the major reason the Essene movement had come into existence was to preserve and safeguard the Davidic and Zadokite lines, the religio-politico haunt of Herod and the Hasmoneans initially.
According to the Essene code, General, the Zadoks and the Davids were not to engage in sex for recreational purposes because it was regarded as defiling: it diluted holiness. The only times they were supposed to do so was when need arose to produce heirs. In 8 BC, it was now opportune for Joseph, the David, to produce a heir and so he was excused from a life of chastity.
At this point in time in fact, the Essenes were focused on two dynastic figures. These were Joseph and Zechariah. The two were expected to produce the Messiah of David and the Messiah of Aaron, that is, the future King of Israel and the future High Priest of Israel.
According to Essene rules, the David had to marry at age 36, so that by the time he was 40, he had already sired a heir. The new heir had to be born when the David was 37. If the child was a daughter, she could not inherit, and so the David had to set about the procreation of a second-born, who hopefully would be a boy (copulation to that end was allowed only when the daughter was 3 years old).
The Davidic heir had to be born not in any other month but in September, the holiest in the Jewish calendar. In order to conform to these parameters, a betrothal ceremony was held at the beginning of June. During the betrothal period – the three months from beginning of June to end of August – sexual relations were not permitted.
Then at the beginning of September, a First Marriage was held. This was the beginning of the marriage proper as now the couple were allowed to become intimate. However, the intimacy began only in December, with a view to delivering a heir in September the following year. At the end of March, the Second Marriage was held for it was hoped that by that time the spouse was three months pregnant if there hadn’t been a miscarriage. With the Second Marriage, the wedlock was permanent: divorce was never allowed whatsoever.
Meanwhile, General, if the spouse hadn’t conceived in December, sexual relations were suspended till December the following year. The husband would then leave her spouse and return either to the monastery at Qumran or embark on a tour of duty elsewhere in furtherance of the Essene cause.
A BINDING ENGAGEMENT
According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, General, the Essenes were not only a spiritual, revolutionary, and philosophical movement. They were also ardent believers in astrology. They meticulously studied the stars and the movements of planets to read what they portended about the future.
Thus the reason a Davidic heir had to be born in September was not only because this was the holiest month of the year: it was also in recognition of the fact that September was ruled by the constellation Virgo. In other words, September was astrologically the month of the virgin. That was what Mary was.
Mary was both a virgin physically and a virgin titularly. A bride of the future king was required to be a virgin. As an Essene, Mary belonged to the Order (not the tribe) of Dan. This was the Order of Nuns, or virgins, both legal and physical virgins. Thus in the Order of Dan, a woman was not a virgin only before she slept with a man: she was a virgin until she was six months pregnant. In the case of a dynastic spouse like Mary, this was up to end of June. From then henceforth, she was promoted within the Order to the first stage of a Mother.
Joseph’s betrothal to Mary took place at Qumran in June 8 BC. Now, in our day, betrothal simply means engagement to be married. In ancient Israel up to New Testament times, betrothal was part and parcel of the marriage contract. It was definite and binding upon both groom and bride, who were considered as man and wife in all legal and religious aspects, except that sexual relations were not permitted.
For example, in 2 SAMUEL 3:14, King David refers to his betrothed woman as “my wife”. Also in DEUTERONOMY 22:24, a betrothed woman is referred to as “his neighbour’s wife”. In the betrothal formalities, dowry and bride price were included. If a bride and groom for one reason or the other wanted to opt out of the betrothal after the betrothal ceremony, they had to seek a formal divorce.
Since the betrothal took place in June, General, Joseph and Mary were not supposed to make love till December, that is, six months after the betrothal ceremony and three months after the First Marriage ceremony in September. Just one month after the betrothal ceremony (that is, at the beginning of July 8 BC), however, Mary became pregnant. Was it Joseph, General? Was it rape by a Roman soldier called Panthera as some contemporary records suggest? Or was it simply the supernatural act of the “Holy Spirit” as Christendom holds?
THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS
Those who hold that the circumstances of Mary’s pregnancy were supernatural, General, can be excused. This is because the language employed therein smacks of ethereality – Holy Spirit, Angel Gabriel, Son of the Most High, etc. To those who have read and rigorously studied the Dead Sea Scrolls, however, such terminology is well within the temporal context.
That is to say, it does not carry spiritual connotations as such. True, the idea of an angel speaking to Joseph and Mary in their sleep may seem supernatural but the dreams are theological interpolations, inserted into the gospels in onward editing to fit a contrived agenda – what Karl Marx called the opium of the masses.
The Dead Sea Scrolls are so named because they were discovered in caves around the Qumran plateau of the West Bank (about 40 km east of Jerusalem), at the northwest corner of the Dead Sea, in March 1947. The discoverer was a Bedouin shepherd kid who was looking for a lost goat. The scrolls were found hidden in jars.
The 1947 find was the initial discovery: more discoveries were made after further excavations on the same site spanning 11 years in a series of 11 caves. Altogether, 972 texts were turned up. They are written in four languages, namely Hebrew (the majority), Aramaic, Greek, and Nabatean, mostly on parchment. Other texts were inscribed on papyrus and bronze.
Most of the Dead Sea Scrolls are fragments. Fragments of all the Old Testament books have been found save for the book of Esther. The only complete book is Isaiah. There are also apocryphal books (those arbitrarily excluded from the Old Testament canon by the Constantine-convened Nicene Council of AD 325) such as the Book of Enoch and the Book of Jubilees, and sect-specific writings that embody rules and beliefs of the people who compiled them.
The latter include commentaries on the Old Testament, paraphrases that expand on the Law of Moses, rule books of the community, war conduct, thanksgiving psalms, hymnic compositions, benedictions, liturgical texts, and sapiential (wisdom) writing. These texts have been given appropriate titles such as the War Scroll; Manual of Discipline; the Community Rule; the Temple Scroll; the Copper Scroll; etc.
The Dead Sea Scrolls were written/preserved by the Essenes between 168 BC and 68 AD. We know this because Pliny, the first century Roman historian, wrote that, “On the west coast of Lake Asphaltitis (the Dead Sea) are settled the Essenes, at some distance from the noisome odours that are experienced on the shore itself.
They are a lonely people, the most extraordinary in the world, who live without women, without love, without money, with the palm trees for their only companions.” The Essenes stashed away the scrolls sometime in 70 AD, when Roman General Flavius Titus overran Jerusalem and laid waste to the Temple following a catastrophic Jewish uprising – led by the Zealots, the military wing of the Essenes – that began in 66 BC.
This they did in heed of JEREMIAH 32:14, which says, “Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Take these evidences … and put them in an earthen vessel, that they may continue many days.” The Dead Sea Scrolls have given us invaluable insight into the beliefs, customs, rituals, politics, philosophies, and traditions of first century Palestine.
The rivalry between luxury German automotive marques Mercedes-Benz and BMW is legendary. Both brands offer high-end, high-priced desirable models, always at the forefront of cutting-edge driving technology and excellence. And in the annals of the advertising world, a campaign between the two rivals is equally legendary and it happened on our own doorstep.
Many of you will be familiar with the coastal road out of Cape Town called Chapman’s Peak. It is a beautiful, sightseeing attraction, the road winding through spectacular coastal-mountain scenery, with cliffs sinking into the Atlantic ocean on one side, and steep mountains towering over the road on the other. However, the road is also notoriously dangerous, with its 114 sharp, meandering bends . It’s reputation is well-deserved . Several years ago, when a major coastal cleanup campaign was launched, a helicopter pulled a total of 22 wrecked cars out of the water adjacent to Chapman’s Peak and it was one such accident which prefaced the notorious marketing battle. The story is thus:
In 1988 an Irish businessman lost control of his Mercedes Benz when driving along this road, plunging 100 metres down the cliff. Miraculously, he not only survived the accident, but crawled out of the wreckage with hardly a scratch on his body.
When Mercedes heard the details, the marketing department decided to base a new advertisement on the story to promote the safety features and stability of the brand. In the video ad they intentionally drove an identical model off the road in the exact same location, having it plunge off the edge of the cliff, the driver stepping out similarly unscathed, proving the phenomenal survivability and strength of Mercedes Benz.
When the marketing suits at BMW saw this ad, they took a bold and ingenious decision to mimic it but with a twist. Only a week later, whilst the first ad was still fresh in the public’s minds, they shot their ad showing a BMW driving along the exact same stretch of road in the rain. However, when it reached the point at which the Mercedes plunged off the cliff, the BMW negotiated it safely, and continued driving along the road.
The catchphrase of the ad was “BMW beats the bends” . Or was it? It was cunningly recorded so that it could equally have been ‘beats the Benz’, implying that their cars had superior cornering and stability to their rival, Even more sneakily, they launched their campaign on a Saturday, mindful of the rules on competitive advertising in South Africa, safe in the knowledge that no objectionable actions could be taken till the new working week.
Mercedes-Benz wasted no time on Monday in issuing an injunction, the ad was swiftly pulled but the damage was done and the dog had had its day. The ad campaign ranks high in the history of advertising and can still be found online to this day. Meanwhile the rivalry between the two automotive greats goes on.
I reference this piece of marketing history in the light of this week’s horror crash by golfing great, Tiger Woods. Driving from a luxury holiday resort in California to a nearby country club Tiger Woods lost control of his vehicle on a downhill stretch of the road, smashed through a road sign, crossed over the central reservation and rolled his car several hundred feet. He had to be cut out and pulled to safety through the windscreen and the vehicle was so badly damaged, the attending police officers said he was ‘lucky to survive’.
The vehicle Woods was driving was a rented Genesis GV80 SUV. If you are unfamiliar with the brand that is not surprising since it is a relatively new spin-off from the South Korean Hyundai marque. The Genesis utility vehicle, not available locally yet, retails for around $50,000 or half a million pula, placing it in the higher end of town and country SUVs in the USA.
The model has certainly been widely publicised in the media coverage of the high-profile sportsman’s accident and I suspect that if asked to comment, Hyundai/Genesis would disagree with the police assessment, putting Woods’ survival down to build quality and in-built safety features such as crumple zones, anti-roll bars and airbags, which were deployed in the crash and would most certainly have played their part cushioning the effects of the rolling and ultimate impact. There is , of course, no suggestion that the manufacturers will capitalise on Woods’ survival but certainly it will have done the brand no harm that he did indeed emerge with recoverable injuries.
Comparing the two accidents, the driver of the Mercedes driving along Chapman’s Peak was, of course, an ordinary member of the public whilst Tiger Woods is a household name. That said, in humanitarian terms each tale of survival carries equal weight but the fact remains that the former was just another local story of yet one more victim of a notoriously tricky stretch of road whilst the latter went round the world in an instant because of the fame and name of the driver.
There is also no evidence that that stretch of Californian urban highway carried any inherent risk. His appears to have been just a loss of control and a freak accident. However, in the event that Hyundai/Genesis should consider making capital from that accident, a note of caution needs to be sounded.
In the advertising world, the use of celebrities to promote a product is a fall-back stance to sell anything from washing-up liquid to whisky but statistics have shown that it can be a double-edged sword in that yes, the ads are memorable and the public love them when the celeb is popular and personable. But…..what is often remembered is the name of the famous promoter, not the name of the product. In other words, they sell themselves far better than they sell the item.
In golfing terminology Hyundai/Genesis are not ‘out of the Woods’ yet and maybe they should go with a completely different Driver!
How Jesus’s grandfather sold his birthright to megalomaniac Herod
If you were to ask a Christian to name the main Jewish sects, General Atiku, he would no doubt begin with the Pharisees (because Jesus had innumerable slanging matches with them according to the gospels), followed by the Sadducees. Yet there was a third, equally momentous sect – the Essenes.
Although there’s not a single, one mention of the Essenes in the Bible, General, the New Testament is filled with Essene-type language as anybody who has read the Dead Sea Scrolls would readily recognise.
In point of fact, it was the Essenes who produced Jesus as well as the infamous Jewish band of freedom fighters known as the Zealots. Furthermore, almost all the New Testament writers were either Essenes or champions of the Essene cause as is apparent in their language and the drift of their overall philosophy. The Essenes have a palpable presence in the Bible, albeit a cloaked one.
The Essenes, General, were the most popular, the most esteemed, and the most influential of the Jewish sects. The Jewish historian Philo (20 BC-50 AD) devotes 90 percent of his description of the Jewish sects to the Essenes. He wrote that the Essenes “dwell in many cities of Judea and in many villages and in great societies of many numbers”.
Hyppolytus of Rome (170-236 AD) devoted nine-and-half chapters to the Essenes and only one to the Sadducees. The Essenes are the authors of the famous Dead Sea Scrolls, which were discovered in 1947 in Israel at a place called Qumran and which have given us even greater insight into the happenings in the first century than the Bible itself.
How did the Essene movement come about, General? The Essenes, meaning “puritans of the faith”, were the Jewish sect that was the most loyal to the Davidic dynasty. They set themselves apart from the mainstream Jewish community circa 175 BC and established their headquarters at Qumran, about 40 km from Jerusalem.
Since the Jewish nation revered the Davidic royal line, the only legitimate and rightful rulers of Judah in their view, they rallied to the Essenes en masse. And because the Essenes were disparaging of the Hasmonean rule (140 BC to 63 BC), the mainstream Jews also took a dismissive view of Hasmonean rule too.
The Essenes were so highly regarded because of their virtue and spirituality. The legendary Jewish historian Flavius Josephus (37-100 AD) writes thus of them: “They are more mutually affectionate than the others (Pharisees and Sadducees). Whereas these men shun the pleasures as vice, they consider self-control and not succumbing to the passions virtue … Since [they are] despisers of wealth – their communal stock is astonishing – one cannot find a person among them who has more in terms of possessions.
For by a law, those coming into the school (that is, the Essene fold) must yield up their funds to the order, with the result that in all [their ranks] neither the humiliation of poverty nor the superiority of wealth is detectable, but the assets of each one have been mixed in together, as if they were brothers, to create one fund for all.”
In time, the Essenes, General, became quite influential even with occupying powers. For instance, when the Greek General Pompey installed Hyrcanus II as ruler of Palestine in 63 BC, he sought the opinion of the Essenes. The Essenes recommended that Hyrcanus go by the titles High Priest and Prince, not King, to which Pompey paid heed. In 142 BC, when Simon was installed by the Seleucids as ruler of Palestine, the Essenes had insisted on the same titular style. To the Essenes, everybody who occupied Israel’s seat of authority was simply holding fort for the real deal – the Davidic King.
In 37 BC, when Herod became King of Palestine, the potential Davidic King was Jacob-Eliakim – the father of the Joseph of the gospels – who was an Essene himself. It was in order to win the blessings of the historically popular Jewish royal family that Herod sought to curry favour with the Essenes.
JACOB’S PACT WITH HEROD
About the time Herod came to power, General, there were three citizens of considerable stature in Palestine – Hillel, Menahem, and Jacob-Eliakim, the grandfather of Jesus. Hillel is by all accounts ancient Israel’s greatest teacher and scholar.
He was the foremost spiritual sage in the development of the Talmud and the Mishnah, the most authoritative religious references of the Jews which are second only to the Old Testament in esteem. The renowned “Golden Rule”, which is invariably attributed to Jesus, was actually coined by Hillel. It is not certain whether Hillel was an Essene but his teachings did have a profound influence both on Essene philosophy and that of Jesus, who was an Essene too.
It was Menahem, however, who was an incontrovertible Essene. The Essenes were of two main branches, General. First, there were the puritans, the Palestinian Essenes. Then there were the liberals, the Diaspora Essenes, who sneered at the Palestinian Essenes’ dogmatism and rather strict views on morality. Menahem was the leader of the Diaspora Essenes.
He was also privilleged to be advisor to King Herod. Herod did hold Menahem in very high regard. Josephus relates that when Herod was a school-going lad, Menahem had patted him on his back and said to him, “one day you will be King young man.” Since the prophecy came to pass, Herod had a certain, atypical respect both for Menahem and the order of Essenes.
Jacob-Eliakim’s significance was by virtue of his pedigree. He was of the royal line of David and was therefore the uncrowned King of the Jews. Now, as we have already indicated, Herod had his own grand designs about rulership of the world notwithstanding the fact that he was in reality a vassal of Rome.
When he made overtures to the trio, they didn’t mince words: they told him that in the new Israel, the Israel that would rule Earth once the Romans had been toppled from the pedestal of world power, it was a Davidic King who would reign. Herod took very strong exception to such a prospect. Herod was neither a full-blooded Jew nor of Davidic stock but he was royalty in his own right.
His father, Antipater, had been the governor of Idumea and in due course Judea in the Hasmonean government and was in fact the real ruler of the entire Palestine, with John Hyrcanus being a mere figurehead king. When he (Herod) was only 25 years old, his father had appointed him governor of Galilee. Herod thus had strutted the corridors of power from the day he was born and he wasn’t going to give that up easily either for his own sake or that of his descendants.
As such, General, Herod maintained to the trio that in the new, overarching Kingdom of Israel, he was going to be the emperor and would be based in Jerusalem. Just like the Greek empire of Alexander had been a triarchy (a kingdom divided into three governments), the global Kingdom of Israel (“Thy Kingdom Come” in the Lord’s Prayer) was going to be likewise.
There was going to be a ruler in the east, a ruler in the west, and a ruler in the centre, that is Jerusalem, under the oversight of Herod himself. Hillel would rule in Jerusalem; Menahem in the east; and Jacob-Eliakim in the west. If these three happened to have disappeared from the Earthly scene by the time the Kingdom of Israel came into being, their descendants would observe the same setup.
The pecking order would thus be like this: Herod as the emperor; Hillel as the senior king; Menahem as the second-ranked king; and Jacob-Eliakim as the junior king. Put differently, Herod had by the stroke of a pen reduced the Davidic dynasty from foremost to least important as it posed the most serious threat to his office. Meanwhile, the three kings-in-waiting would go by the names of the Old Testament patriarchs.
Hillel would henceforth be called the Abraham, or the Father (or Papa, which later morphed into Pope), since Abraham was the Father of the Jewish nation; Menahem would be called the Isaac (Abraham’s son); and Eliakim the Jacob (Isaac’s son). Half a loaf was better than nothing at all and so Jacob-Eliakim meekly accepted this arrangement.
When Jesus later said, “Many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the new Kingdom of Heaven (MATTHEW 8:11),” he did not mean an afterlife kingdom: he referred to the Earthly setup proposed by King Herod.
FALLOUT WITH ESSENES
Those days, General, the Davidic heir used the title “Jacob” rather than “David” as the latter title was very risky, particularly under the Hasmonean government. Given that Joseph was the most beloved son of the Old Testament Jacob, the next in line, that is, the firstborn son of the Jacob, used the title “Joseph”.
In September 44 BC, a son was born to Jacob-Eliakim. As the crown prince to the Jacob, he was given the titular name Joseph, the name by which he became best-known. Like his father Jacob-Eliakim, Joseph was a missionary. But he also had a trade. He was a carpenter, a boat builder primarily, and a master of his craft. The word translated “carpenter” in the Bible is the ancient Greek word “ho hekton” which means a master artisan or craftsman.
In 31 BC, Qumran, the Essenes’ Judean wilderness bastion, was struck by an earthquake. The hermitic Essenes had no choice but to trek back to Jerusalem, from where they operated indefinitely at a place they called the Essene Gate. Then in 23 BC, Herod struck again. He had Jacob-Eliakim killed on trumped-up charges of sedition, his motive simply being a continuation of a systematic purge of the Davidic “pretenders” to his throne.
The Essenes were wroth. They now set about promulgating to the Diaspora Essenes that Herod would have no part to play in the coming Kingdom. Instead, the overall King would be Joseph, the son of Jacob-Eliakim. This, General, was the beginning of a permanent rift between Herod and the Essene sect.
THE SAGA OF JOSEPH
The prospective global world, General, was subdivided into ten provinces to facilitate governance and tax collection. Palestine would have two provinces, Judea and Samaria, the latter of which would include Galilee. Asia Minor (largely present-day Turkey), where the bulk of Diaspora Jews were concentrated, would have five provinces.
The last three provinces would be Babylon, Rome, and Alexandria in Egypt. The future capital of the West was not Rome: it was Ephesus in Asia Minor. Having been allocated the West, it was in Ephesus and Alexandria that Jacob-Eliakim spent most of his time evangelizing to fellow Jews about the future Kingdom of Israel. This was the beginning of the New Covenant, whereby Jews who converted to the ideal of a new Kingdom of Israel were baptised by immersion in water.
To mainstream Palestinian Jews, General, Jacob-Eliakim was a sellout. Herod had demoted his pedigree but to somewhat placate him, he gave him the honorary title of Patriarch or Prince of Jerusalem. By subordinating the Davidic throne-in-waiting to Herod, Jacob-Eliakim had gone against what the nation of Israel’s God, Enlil, the Bible’s main Jehovah, decreed – that every King of Judah had to be a descendant of David. So when the unpredictable Herod had him killed in 23 BC for “sedition”, as part of a pogrom against the line of David, there was very little sympathy for him.
In 44 BC, Joseph had been born to Jacob-Eliakim. Joseph was a title: it was not his real name. At the death of his father, Joseph became the Jacob. However, he preferred the title “David”, the more apt one historically. Joseph would become the father of Jesus. When Joseph attained 30 years of age in 14 BC, his uncles and the Essene sages sent him to Rome and Alexandria to do his part in missionary work, which was simply about promulgating to the Diaspora Jews the future Kingdom of Israel in which a Son of David, that is a descendant of King David, would rule. Egypt was also a special place because Joseph’s maternal relations were Egyptians.
Jacob-Eliakim, General, had two wives. The one was called Euchariah, a Jewish princess, of whom very little is known, and the other, the dynastic wife, was an Egyptian princess, a daughter of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt and Julius Caesar. Jacob-Eliakim and this princess had three sons: they were Joseph, the father of Jesus, and the twins Cleopas (after whom James, Jesus’ immediate younger brother, whose given name was Cleopas, was named) and Ptolas. Joseph was thus the Davidian Prince of Israel as well as contender to Crown Prince of Egypt. Despite pretences to the contrary on the part of the Jews, Egypt and Israel have always had ties of monarchical kinship.
In 8 BC, General, Joseph was required by Essene custom to return home and fulfill his obligations for a dynastic marriage. A wife-to-be had already been chosen for him by his uncles and other patriarchal Essenes. This was Dorcas, better known today by her title name Mary.