Connect with us

Forgiveness is divine


To err is human and to forgive is divine. I am sure many of us have heard this saying sometime or the other.

In our daily lives we have all committed errors, probably made many mistakes and wittingly or unwittingly we have wronged others; perhaps by ignorance and in some cases by means of deception, untruthfulness or backstabbing. But as we are human we tend to focus on other people’s errors while overlooking or remaining ignorant of our own shortcomings.

The simple truth is that we prefer to look at ‘what others said or did to us’ rather than what we may have said or done to them. This unfortunately is a human trait whereby we tend to take offence sometimes on things that we sometimes wrongly conclude or ‘think’ were as a result of others have said or done to us.

Let us be honest we all have our faults for example we may dislike a certain person whom we believe has done us some unpardonable wrong. As a result we haven’t spoken to them for a while. We been blaming him/ her? But is it really hate? True we may have been wronged, deceived, or even feel that we were stabbed in the back, by backbiting about you and even told lies about you. We may feel that we have a reason to ‘hate’ that someone; you’re not the only one, we all carry some burden hidden within us; sometimes we confuse dislike, anger, resentment and even jealousy with hate, but to some degree we all have that malady lurking deep within us. Why don’t we wash away those thoughts and learn to forgive others.  

Let us really be honest, we often say or do something without thinking of the consequences and we may as a result hurt or insult others. Sometimes our minds ‘click’ in and our thoughts and minds will experience a feeling of unease, and we may silently think: “I can’t believe I just did/said that”. The thing to do is to immediately say: “I am sorry I said/did that”. This helps us clear ourselves and brings ease back to our body and mind, secondly the other person has no time to take offence and get angry. After all we do not really mean to hurt or insult people.

We must remember that anger, dislike, resentment, envy, jealousy are like a festering wound – if we do not attend to it, over time things can only get progressively worse. That simmering rage within you can make one become anti-social, unlikeable and it can even turn to hatred. Hate can become emotionally draining and it can drive a person to do unusual things including taking revenge.

We should therefore turn to prayer and learn to exercise self -restraint and forgiveness so that we can live in harmony with our emotions and thereby create inner peace. Allah says in the Qur’an: “Be quick in the forgiveness from your Lord, and pardon (all) men – for Allah loves those who do good.” [Qur’an 3:133-134]

Some of us think that to forgive is a sign of weakness and humiliation, and for us it is better to be strong and preserve our honour – but honour in the eyes of Allah lies in forgiveness. “But indeed if any shows patience and forgives that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs.”[Qur’an 42:43]

We should learn to forgive and forget otherwise we will carry that ‘burden’ of hate and anger that will remain in our hearts and minds. Forgiveness is linked with piety and God-consciousness – is there anybody who is not without sin; is there any one of us who can be arrogant and haughty enough to say that he does not need to forgive; do we not know that Allah forgives those who forgive others?

In most cases it is only our hurt pride and bruised ego that prevent us from forgiving those who have wronged us, but if we are to be really strong in faith then we have to learn to forgive others, and in this way Allah will look kindly upon us and forgive us for our own mistakes and sins.

We often believe that in forgiving someone we are either excusing or condoning the behaviour. The opposite is true because forgiving a wrong brings peace to us. It releases us from the feelings of hurt, anger, wanting revenge and resentment which can poison us and affect our emotions and actions whereby Allah promises forgiveness for our sins. If Allah is so forgiving for our faults, who are we to withhold what is so freely and divinely given to each and every one of us?

Today we see many people sad and unhappy as a result of rifts in their families, broken marriages, and friendships which have ended for no obvious reason except hatred and our unforgiving nature. But we should learn to ask Allah to forgive those who have hurt us, after we have forgiven them. The doors of repentance and forgiveness always remain open; let us not shut them as we would slam the door on someone we do not want to see. Therefore, we should realise and identify the failings and faults of others and learn to forgive them. ‘But if you forgive and overlook and cover up their faults, verily Allah is Oft-forgiving and Most merciful. (Qur’an 64: 14)

In most religions, Believers are exhorted to learn self-control so as to face provocation with restraint but also with a degree of dignity. If I recall well the Bible says “…. whoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also”. We need to get rid of that heavy burden of hate that we carry around with us – learn to forgive and forget.  

But even in these situations the Qur’an and the Hadith teach us that if we wish to earn the forgiveness of Allah on the day of Judgement we have to forgive others (especially those who hurt us the most). Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) taught and advised us; “To be forgiving and to control yourself in the face of provocation, to give justice to the person who was unfair and unjust to you, to give to someone even though he did not give to you when you were in need and to keep connection with someone who may not have reciprocated your concern, will ensure you a palace in Paradise (as a symbol of reward).”

Let us be honest and face the truth, some of us live a life of sin and when we realise our ‘bad’ behaviour we usually turn to our Lord and Creator, Allah, in prayer and repentance for forgiveness of our own sins that we have committed. And remember that Allah is always willing to answer the person’s call for forgiveness. “….for Allah loves those who constantly turn to Him in repentance and those who keep themselves pure” (Quran 2:222)

 In Islam we have 99 names of praise for Almighty Allah and among them are Ar-Rahmaan  (the Most Compassionate) and Ar-Raheem (the Most Merciful). We are constantly reminded that His Mercy is infinite and that no matter the sin (except associating partners with Him), if we have sincerity in our hearts in seeking His forgiveness we can be sure of gaining it.

We should earnestly and sincerely seek that forgiveness for ourselves and we should learn to forgive those who may have done or said things that may have ‘hurt’ us. We should therefore learn to forgive them and be kind and merciful to each other. First of all, we ourselves should not do anything to upset our brothers and sisters (because this is in itself a part of mercy) and then we should forgive those who have upset or made us angry. We simply cannot hope to be strong in faith if we are not able to forgive others because how can we expect Allah to forgive us if we don’t want to forgive others?

Continue Reading


The Daring Dozen at Bari

8th December 2020

Seventy-seven years ago, on the evening of December 2, 1943, the Germans launched a surprise air raid on allied shipping in the Italian port of Bari, which was then the key supply centre for the British 8th army’s advance in Italy.

The attack was spearheaded by 105 Junkers JU88 bombers under the overall command of the infamous Air Marshal Wolfram von Richthofen (who had initially achieved international notoriety during the Spanish Civil War for his aerial bombardment of Guernica). In a little over an hour the German aircraft succeeded in sinking 28 transport and cargo ships, while further inflicting massive damage to the harbour’s facilities, resulting in the port being effectively put out of action for two months.

Over two thousand ground personnel were killed during the raid, with the release of a secret supply of mustard gas aboard one of the destroyed ships contributing to the death toll, as well as subsequent military and civilian casualties. The extent of the later is a controversy due to the fact that the American and British governments subsequently covered up the presence of the gas for decades.

At least five Batswana were killed and seven critically wounded during the raid, with one of the wounded being miraculously rescued floating unconscious out to sea with a head wound. He had been given up for dead when he returned to his unit fourteen days later. The fatalities and casualties all occurred when the enemy hit an ammunition ship adjacent to where 24 Batswana members of the African Pioneer Corps (APC) 1979 Smoke Company where posted.

Thereafter, the dozen surviving members of the unit distinguished themselves for their efficiency in putting up and maintaining smokescreens in their sector, which was credited with saving additional shipping. For his personal heroism in rallying his men following the initial explosions Company Corporal Chitu Bakombi was awarded the British Empire Medal, while his superior officer, Lieutenant N.F. Moor was later given an M.B.E.

Continue Reading


A Strong Marriage Bond Needs Two

8th December 2020

Remember: bricks and cement are used to build a house, but mutual love, respect and companionship are used to build a HOME. And amongst His signs is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind, so that you may find contentment (Sukoon) with them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you; in this behold, there are signs (messages) indeed for people who reflect and think (Quran 30:21).

This verse talks about contentment; this implies companionship, of their being together, sharing together, supporting one another and creating a home of peace. This verse also talks about love between them; this love is both physical and emotional. For love to exist it must be built on the foundation of a mutually supportive relationship guided by respect and tenderness. As the Quran says; ‘they are like garments for you, and you are garments for them (Quran 2:187)’. That means spouses should provide each other with comfort, intimacy and protection just as clothing protects, warms and dignifies the body.

In Islam marriage is considered an ‘ibaadah’, (an act of pleasing Allah) because it is about a commitment made to each other, that is built on mutual love, interdependence, integrity, trust, respect, companionship and harmony towards each other. It is about building of a home on an Islamic foundation in which peace and tranquillity reigns wherein your offspring are raised in an atmosphere conducive to a moral and upright upbringing so that when we all stand before Him (Allah) on that Promised Day, He will be pleased with them all.

Most marriages start out with great hopes and rosy dreams; spouses are truly committed to making their marriages work. However, as the pressures of life mount, many marriages change over time and it is quite common for some of them to run into problems and start to flounder as the reality of living with a spouse that does not meet with one’s pre-conceived ‘expectations’. However, with hard work and dedication, couples can keep their marriages strong and enjoyable. How is it done? What does it take to create a long-lasting, satisfying marriage?

Below are some of the points that have been taken from a marriage guidance article I read recently and adapted for this purposes.

Spouses should have far more positive than negative interactions. If there is too much negativity — criticizing, demanding, name-calling, holding grudges, etc. — the relationship will suffer. However, if there is never any negativity, it probably means that frustrations and grievances are not getting ‘air time’ and unresolved tension is accumulating inside one or both partners waiting to ‘explode’ one day.

“Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames.” (49:11)

We all have our individual faults though we may not see them nor want to admit to them but we will easily identify them in others. The key is balance between the two extremes and being supportive of one another. To foster positivity in a marriage that help make them stable and happy, being affectionate, truly listening to each other, taking joy in each other’s achievements and being playful are just a few examples of positive interactions.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character and the best of you are those who are best to their wives”


Another characteristic of happy marriages is empathy; understanding your spouses’ perspective by putting oneself in his or her shoes. By showing that understanding and identifying with your spouse is important for relationship satisfaction. Spouses are more likely to feel good about their marriage and if their partner expresses empathy towards them. Husbands and wives are more content in their relationships when they feel that their partners understand their thoughts and feelings.

Successful married couples grow with each other; it simply isn’t wise to put any person in charge of your happiness. You must be happy with yourself before anyone else can be.  You are responsible for your actions, your attitudes and your happiness. Your spouse just enhances those things in your life. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers.”


Successful marriages involve both spouses’ commitment to the relationship. The married couple should learn the art of compromise and this usually takes years. The largest parts of compromise are openness to the other’s point of view and good communication when differences arise.

When two people are truly dedicated to making their marriage work, despite the unavoidable challenges and obstacles that come, they are much more likely to have a relationship that lasts. Husbands and wives who only focus on themselves and their own desires are not as likely to find joy and satisfaction in their relationships.


Another basic need in a relationship is each partner wants to feel valued and respected. When people feel that their spouses truly accept them for who they are, they are usually more secure and confident in their relationships. Often, there is conflict in marriage because partners cannot accept the individual preferences of their spouses and try to demand change from one another. When one person tries to force change from another, he or she is usually met with resistance.

However, change is much more likely to occur when spouses respect differences and accept each other unconditionally. Basic acceptance is vital to a happy marriage. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “It is the generous (in character) who is good to women, and it is the wicked who insults them.”
“Overlook (any human faults) with gracious forgiveness.” (Quran 15:85)


Other important components of successful marriages are love, compassion and respect for each other. The fact is, as time passes and life becomes increasingly complicated, the marriage is often stressed and suffers as a result. A happy and successful marriage is based on equality. When one or the other dominates strongly, intimacy is replaced by fear of displeasing.

It is all too easy for spouses to lose touch with each other and neglect the love and romance that once came so easily. It is vital that husbands and wives continue to cultivate love and respect for each other throughout their lives. If they do, it is highly likely that their relationships will remain happy and satisfying. Move beyond the fantasy and unrealistic expectations and realize that marriage is about making a conscious choice to love and care for your spouse-even when you do not feel like it.

Seldom can one love someone for whom we have no respect. This also means that we have to learn to overlook and forgive the mistakes of one’s partner. In other words write the good about your partner in stone and the bad in dust, so that when the wind comes it blows away the bad and only the good remains.

Paramount of all, marriage must be based on the teachings of the Noble Qur’an and the teachings and guidance of our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). To grow spiritually in your marriage requires that you learn to be less selfish and more loving, even during times of conflict. A marriage needs love, support, tolerance, honesty, respect, humility, realistic expectations and a sense of humour to be successful.

Continue Reading


Chronic Joblessness: How to Help Curtail it

30th November 2020
Motswana woman

The past week or two has been a mixed grill of briefs in so far as the national employment picture is concerned. BDC just injected a further P64 million in Kromberg & Schubert, the automotive cable manufacturer and exporter, to help keep it afloat in the face of the COVID-19-engendered global economic apocalypse. The financial lifeline, which follows an earlier P36 million way back in 2017, hopefully guarantees the jobs of 2500, maybe for another year or two.

It was also reported that a bulb manufacturing company, which is two years old and is youth-led, is making waves in Selibe Phikwe. Called Bulb Word, it is the only bulb manufacturing operation in Botswana and employs 60 people. The figure is not insignificant in a town that had 5000 jobs offloaded in one fell swoop when BCL closed shop in 2016 under seemingly contrived circumstances, so that as I write, two or three buyers have submitted bids to acquire and exhume it from its stage-managed grave.

This content is locked

Login To Unlock The Content!

Continue Reading
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!