Have you ever felt like a “difficult patient?” It might not be all in your head if you think a doctor is getting impatient or annoyed with you.
Often times we come across patients that we term as “difficult”, just as many patients can recall doctors whom they would say are difficult to work with as well. This kind of patients can evoke feelings of anxiety, dread, frustration, and even anger and seem to breakdown the doctor-patient relationship leaving the doctor feeling like the patient cannot be helped, does not want to be helped, or is sabotaging his/her care. “Difficult patients” can be seen as a problem to be tolerated or terminated from practice, though the real difficulty lies in the relationship, not simply the patient and there are techniques and strategies to help clinicians improve that relationship and retain its therapeutic nature.
Who are ‘difficult’ patients?
Angry – smileless faces, furrowed brows, clenched fists, and wringing of the hands are some of the signs that can show that something is wrong with the patient. When we see these signs, we try to uncover the source of anger for the patient and pay attention to the way his or her emotions relate to the medical issues at hand. For example, a patient who is in pain and has been waiting for an hour because the doctor has been tending to a hospital emergency (and has been briefed so…) might be quite angry (reasonable enough…) when the doctor finally gets to the room. A sincere explanation and apology by the doctor such as, “I can understand why you are upset, and I appreciate your waiting for me,” would go a long way toward easing the patient's frustration and getting back to business.
It is normal to feel a certain way after all especially if you are in pain and feel let down. However, there are patients that will remain forever angry despite lack of a trigger and choose to always be on the opposing end of the hospital staff. Some patients are in a habit of yelling insults and can even be physical with the staff, to an extent that assistance from law enforcers to forcefully remove them is sought. For their own safety, doctors will naturally shy away from seeing this kind of patients of if they do the care can be compromised.
Somatizing patients – These patients often present with long standing, multiple vague or exaggerated symptoms. They often “doctor-shop” and have done multiple diagnostic tests without any significant results being yielded. Keys to productive encounters with somatizing patients include describing the patient's diagnosis with compassion and emphasizing that regularly scheduled visits with a primary physician will help to mitigate any concerns. Be sure to effectively manage any comorbid psychological conditions as well. It is important to refrain from suggesting that “it's all in your head,” and avoid the cycle of vigorous diagnostic testing and referrals.
Manipulative patients – Patients often make requests that doctors think are inappropriate, such as requests for additional pain medicine, frequent or longer sick leaves, increased phone contact or clinic appointments, etc. These patients are often sweet-talkers, they ride on the privilege that the doctor gives them, often playing on the guilt of others, threatening rage, legal action or suicide. They tend to exhibit impulsive behavior directed at obtaining what they want which can be quite dangerous. The key to managing encounters with manipulative patients is to calmly explain and realize as the doctor that that sometimes it is okay to say “No.”
Ungrateful – Patients who, for medical or non-medical reasons, appear ungrateful or frivolously utilize medical care but never satisfied with anything are very hard to manage. They may continue to seek medical attention from you but never report anything positive despite the visible changes. They might start their sentence by saying “I don’t know if you will manage, but these are my issues…” They are generally hard to please and they throw doctors into a frozen state every time trying to explain that indeed we have moved from sate A to B. They hardly heed the advice they are given.
Patients who know it all – There are many ‘Dr. Google’ out there. And it either eases or complicates the consultation or the Doctor-Patient relationship. When we say empower yourselves in medical knowledge, it means ‘have an idea’ so that you do not ask the most basic questions, it saves time (and money). It means know your disease and learn how to live with it. It means understand your treatment and contribute towards it to save yourself some distress and complications.
IT DOES NOT MEAN GOOGLE AND COME UP WITH A DIAGNOSIS THAT YOU THINK FITS YOUR SYMPTOMS AND TELL THE DOCTOR HOW TO TREAT YOU.
These kind of patients are the most difficult to deal with and to manage and unfortunately they have been reported not to get much benefit from the doctors’ help because they come with already made-up minds. They perish out of ignorance rather than knowledge. Stay away from this and let the doctor be the doctor!
Non-adherent – Every patient is special. We do not only take care of the patient’s disease but mind, soul and their surroundings as well. So that takes care of the psychological, religious, spiritual and social aspects of their lives. Where any part of that conflicts with the treatment plan we make time to sit them down, counsel them, be patient with them, counsel them again, bring their support structure like family if permitted, do more counseling until they understand the dangers of their choices. However, if we are happy that they understand the dangers but still choose not to adhere to the management plan, we respect their autonomy or power to do so. with severe symptoms, with an underlying mental disorder or who were less functional.”
Worried well patients, patients with poorly controlled chronic pain, who are non-compliant with medical regimens, seductive or manipulative, consume a lot of clinician-time and health care resources, somatisize, or are self-destructive or attention-seeking may also be labeled ‘difficult’. (Krebs et al., 2006; Elder et al., 2006)
well for patients of mine in similar situations. I would like to make a contract with you to see you every two to four weeks – often enough to see if there is anything truly new going on. If something significant develops that has not already been worked up, we will do more tests. We will meet frequently enough to provide you some assurance that we are not missing anything, and we will avoid uncomfortable and costly tests and procedures unless they are clearly necessary.”
Grieving patients. Recognizing the effect of grief on some patients' health requires familiarity with the normal stages of grief and the cultural context in which it occurs. Look for vegetative signs of depression and maladaptive behaviors that prevent progression through the normal grieving process, and treat them. Help grieving patients by validating their emotional experience and making sure they understand that grief is a process that takes varying degrees of time for different people. Encourage open communication, avoid inappropriate medication to suppress emotions, and caution against major lifestyle changes too early in the process.
“Frequent fliers.” These patients may stand out due to the sheer bulk of their medical charts. They may be lonely, dependent or too afraid or embarrassed to ask the questions they really want answered. They may also be patients with a large number of perfectly rational questions, the “worried well” or simply patients who have been given misinformation that needs clarification.
The first step to a productive interaction is to identify the underlying reasons for the frequent visits. Begin by acknowledging that you notice the pattern of frequent visits, and explain that you have seen other patients schedule frequent visits for different reasons, including concern about undiagnosed symptoms, a need for reassurance, a need for relief from chronic pain or a need to talk. Ask whether any of these reasons apply or whether the patient has other ideas as to the reasons for the frequent visits. Showing understanding of the patient's reasons often will foster an open discussion of the “reasons behind the reasons.” Contract with the patient for regularly scheduled return visits, and use patient education and support personnel as needed. Well-honed pain-management skills may also come in handy for patients who schedule frequent appointments due to chronic pain
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Seventy-seven years ago, on the evening of December 2, 1943, the Germans launched a surprise air raid on allied shipping in the Italian port of Bari, which was then the key supply centre for the British 8th army’s advance in Italy.
The attack was spearheaded by 105 Junkers JU88 bombers under the overall command of the infamous Air Marshal Wolfram von Richthofen (who had initially achieved international notoriety during the Spanish Civil War for his aerial bombardment of Guernica). In a little over an hour the German aircraft succeeded in sinking 28 transport and cargo ships, while further inflicting massive damage to the harbour’s facilities, resulting in the port being effectively put out of action for two months.
Over two thousand ground personnel were killed during the raid, with the release of a secret supply of mustard gas aboard one of the destroyed ships contributing to the death toll, as well as subsequent military and civilian casualties. The extent of the later is a controversy due to the fact that the American and British governments subsequently covered up the presence of the gas for decades.
At least five Batswana were killed and seven critically wounded during the raid, with one of the wounded being miraculously rescued floating unconscious out to sea with a head wound. He had been given up for dead when he returned to his unit fourteen days later. The fatalities and casualties all occurred when the enemy hit an ammunition ship adjacent to where 24 Batswana members of the African Pioneer Corps (APC) 1979 Smoke Company where posted.
Thereafter, the dozen surviving members of the unit distinguished themselves for their efficiency in putting up and maintaining smokescreens in their sector, which was credited with saving additional shipping. For his personal heroism in rallying his men following the initial explosions Company Corporal Chitu Bakombi was awarded the British Empire Medal, while his superior officer, Lieutenant N.F. Moor was later given an M.B.E.
Remember: bricks and cement are used to build a house, but mutual love, respect and companionship are used to build a HOME. And amongst His signs is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind, so that you may find contentment (Sukoon) with them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you; in this behold, there are signs (messages) indeed for people who reflect and think (Quran 30:21).
This verse talks about contentment; this implies companionship, of their being together, sharing together, supporting one another and creating a home of peace. This verse also talks about love between them; this love is both physical and emotional. For love to exist it must be built on the foundation of a mutually supportive relationship guided by respect and tenderness. As the Quran says; ‘they are like garments for you, and you are garments for them (Quran 2:187)’. That means spouses should provide each other with comfort, intimacy and protection just as clothing protects, warms and dignifies the body.
In Islam marriage is considered an ‘ibaadah’, (an act of pleasing Allah) because it is about a commitment made to each other, that is built on mutual love, interdependence, integrity, trust, respect, companionship and harmony towards each other. It is about building of a home on an Islamic foundation in which peace and tranquillity reigns wherein your offspring are raised in an atmosphere conducive to a moral and upright upbringing so that when we all stand before Him (Allah) on that Promised Day, He will be pleased with them all.
Most marriages start out with great hopes and rosy dreams; spouses are truly committed to making their marriages work. However, as the pressures of life mount, many marriages change over time and it is quite common for some of them to run into problems and start to flounder as the reality of living with a spouse that does not meet with one’s pre-conceived ‘expectations’. However, with hard work and dedication, couples can keep their marriages strong and enjoyable. How is it done? What does it take to create a long-lasting, satisfying marriage?
Below are some of the points that have been taken from a marriage guidance article I read recently and adapted for this purposes.
POSITIVITY Spouses should have far more positive than negative interactions. If there is too much negativity — criticizing, demanding, name-calling, holding grudges, etc. — the relationship will suffer. However, if there is never any negativity, it probably means that frustrations and grievances are not getting ‘air time’ and unresolved tension is accumulating inside one or both partners waiting to ‘explode’ one day.
“Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames.” (49:11)
We all have our individual faults though we may not see them nor want to admit to them but we will easily identify them in others. The key is balance between the two extremes and being supportive of one another. To foster positivity in a marriage that help make them stable and happy, being affectionate, truly listening to each other, taking joy in each other’s achievements and being playful are just a few examples of positive interactions. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character and the best of you are those who are best to their wives”
Another characteristic of happy marriages is empathy; understanding your spouses’ perspective by putting oneself in his or her shoes. By showing that understanding and identifying with your spouse is important for relationship satisfaction. Spouses are more likely to feel good about their marriage and if their partner expresses empathy towards them. Husbands and wives are more content in their relationships when they feel that their partners understand their thoughts and feelings.
Successful married couples grow with each other; it simply isn’t wise to put any person in charge of your happiness. You must be happy with yourself before anyone else can be. You are responsible for your actions, your attitudes and your happiness. Your spouse just enhances those things in your life. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers.”
Successful marriages involve both spouses’ commitment to the relationship. The married couple should learn the art of compromise and this usually takes years. The largest parts of compromise are openness to the other’s point of view and good communication when differences arise.
When two people are truly dedicated to making their marriage work, despite the unavoidable challenges and obstacles that come, they are much more likely to have a relationship that lasts. Husbands and wives who only focus on themselves and their own desires are not as likely to find joy and satisfaction in their relationships.
Another basic need in a relationship is each partner wants to feel valued and respected. When people feel that their spouses truly accept them for who they are, they are usually more secure and confident in their relationships. Often, there is conflict in marriage because partners cannot accept the individual preferences of their spouses and try to demand change from one another. When one person tries to force change from another, he or she is usually met with resistance.
However, change is much more likely to occur when spouses respect differences and accept each other unconditionally. Basic acceptance is vital to a happy marriage. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “It is the generous (in character) who is good to women, and it is the wicked who insults them.” “Overlook (any human faults) with gracious forgiveness.” (Quran 15:85)
COMPASSION, MUTUAL LOVE AND RESPECT
Other important components of successful marriages are love, compassion and respect for each other. The fact is, as time passes and life becomes increasingly complicated, the marriage is often stressed and suffers as a result. A happy and successful marriage is based on equality. When one or the other dominates strongly, intimacy is replaced by fear of displeasing.
It is all too easy for spouses to lose touch with each other and neglect the love and romance that once came so easily. It is vital that husbands and wives continue to cultivate love and respect for each other throughout their lives. If they do, it is highly likely that their relationships will remain happy and satisfying. Move beyond the fantasy and unrealistic expectations and realize that marriage is about making a conscious choice to love and care for your spouse-even when you do not feel like it.
Seldom can one love someone for whom we have no respect. This also means that we have to learn to overlook and forgive the mistakes of one’s partner. In other words write the good about your partner in stone and the bad in dust, so that when the wind comes it blows away the bad and only the good remains.
Paramount of all, marriage must be based on the teachings of the Noble Qur’an and the teachings and guidance of our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). To grow spiritually in your marriage requires that you learn to be less selfish and more loving, even during times of conflict. A marriage needs love, support, tolerance, honesty, respect, humility, realistic expectations and a sense of humour to be successful.
The past week or two has been a mixed grill of briefs in so far as the national employment picture is concerned. BDC just injected a further P64 million in Kromberg & Schubert, the automotive cable manufacturer and exporter, to help keep it afloat in the face of the COVID-19-engendered global economic apocalypse. The financial lifeline, which follows an earlier P36 million way back in 2017, hopefully guarantees the jobs of 2500, maybe for another year or two.
It was also reported that a bulb manufacturing company, which is two years old and is youth-led, is making waves in Selibe Phikwe. Called Bulb Word, it is the only bulb manufacturing operation in Botswana and employs 60 people. The figure is not insignificant in a town that had 5000 jobs offloaded in one fell swoop when BCL closed shop in 2016 under seemingly contrived circumstances, so that as I write, two or three buyers have submitted bids to acquire and exhume it from its stage-managed grave.