King Anu issues evacuation decree as catastrophic globalwide flood looms
As the merciless Ice Age tightened its grip and mankind continued to reel from starvation and famine, a flint-hearted Enlil, the Bible’s primary Jehovah/Yahweh, simply looked the other way in a gloating fashion.
The kindly Enki approached and implored him: “Let us the Earthlings pond- and canal-building teach, let them from the seas fish and sustenance obtain!” Enlil outrightly rejected the plea. In fact, he underlined to the pantheon that under no circumstances should any of the Anunnaki bigwigs have anything to do with ameliorating the plight of mankind. “This by decree I forbid! Let the Earthlings by hunger and pestilence perish!” Enki in particular was told he would be closely watched in case he deviated from upholding this declaration.
Mankind was in a bind. The Anakim, the giant offspring of the Nephilim and their human spouses, had now proliferated and like mankind they too were on their own. They resorted to plundering the little food that mankind had to spare by way of bluster. They would lay siege to a particular human settlement and extort foodstuffs from them on pain of death. As such, mankind came to dub them “locusts”. Locusts, as you may be aware, can swarm a whole field in their billions and eat up all the vegetation in it till only bare ground remains.
Then came crunch time, when mankind could not spare a crumb for the Anakim. The Anakim now resorted to feeding on humans themselves, a propensity humans replicated by desperate necessity when they too began to feed on each other. It is this cannibalistic bent that gave “giants” the reputation of man-eaters in legends and folk stories that survive to this day.
By this time, Noah, who was not aware Enki was his real father, was a grown man. He had inherited Enki’s most distinguishing trait – boundless compassion. As a priest, Noah lived a life of privilege but his heart bled for ordinary mankind. It reached a stage where he could no longer stand the misery that he was seeing all around him and so moved from Shuruppak, where he was based, to Eridu, Enki’s cult city.
There, he set up abode in a cottage behind Enki’s Temple, as royal Anunnaki homes were called. Every day, Noah “wept, bringing oblations in the morning and at night giving attention to dreams”, in the hope that through this medium Enki might convey instructions to him which would serve to allay the hardships mankind was facing. Noah relentlessly bid Enki to try and prevail over his step brother Enlil to exercise mercy on the suffering and dying masses.
Initially, Enki, who was yoked to Enlil’s no-reach-out-and-touch decree, remained dismissively silent. In fact, he began to absent himself from his home, sailing in the marshlands throughout the day as Noah’s tears gave him a lump in the throat. But Noah was not giving up: noting that Enki now had become a scarce commodity, he built a makeshift cabin right on the banks of the river so that the moment Enki came ashore, whether this be at dusk or midnight, he would run to him, throw himself at his feet, and petition him to get Enlil to relax his hand vis-a-vis the fate of mankind.
ENKI DEFIES ENLIL
Unable to stand the pestering of Noah anymore, Enki finally hearkened. He called Noah, along with some of his advisors, into his inner sanctums and dubbing his eyes with a handkerchief explained to him how of the pantheon he had gallantly opposed Enlil but in vain. Then after sitting in silence for a long while, he announced that that he was going to defy Enlil anyway.
He there and then radioed his trusted lieutenants across the globe and made known to them that as the official “God of the Sea” – Oanness in Greek – he was giving the green light for mankind to fish from the seas. All the aerial and maritime patrols that had been in place to ensure mankind did not come near the sea were to be suspended forthwith. In addition, mankind was to be provided with corn from strategic reserves which continued to sustain the Anunnaki.
The stampede was of apocalyptic proportions. It was like the opening up of the sluice gates. The swoop on the bodies of brine was such that some people died in the very frenzy. The pro-Enki Anunnaki joined in the fray too: using sophisticated, mechanised fishing equipment, they came up with huge hauls just to help mankind.
Obviously, such frantic mass activity could not escape Enlil for long. When he got wind of it, he was furious. He there and then summoned Enki to Nippur and before the whole ruling assembly tore into him for his treachery, for being in breach of the surveillance and containment plans. “Just what’s wrong with you Enki?” he snorted. “Why can’t you listen to me for a change? I know you are older than me but I’m senior in rank, mandated to discharge my due functions by King Anu. It’s time you came to terms with that inalienable truth Enki.”
Enki’s terse response was that if Enlil were in his shoes, he would be just as empathetic: it was he, Enki, who created mankind and it was therefore natural to feel for them. Enlil angrily retorted that what Enki had created were second-rate beings who were so dumb and unruly that he, Enlil, was made to spend sleepless nights just to ram sanity into them and bring them in line.
“You cannot pride yourself on fashioning such imbecilic beings,” Enlil charged. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself Enki. Look at how your Lulu’s have multiplied and filled every inch of the globe, all because the only think they could ever be good at is having sex. You created beings, Enki, whose brains reside not in their skulls but in their groins.”
Enlil once again restated his earlier decree: mankind, the Nephilim, and the Anakim were to be left to their own devices. Their fate was extermination arising from hunger and disease. If any one single “god” so much as extended a charitable hand to them, he would incur the full wrath of he Enlil.
NIBIRU THREAT HAS ANU ORDER ANUNNAKI EVACUATION
This time around, Enki steeled himself and stoically bore the suffering of his own creation for a much longer time. Whilst deep down he was aching and seething and Noah was relentless in badgering him to take the desperately needed remedial action, he remained aloof for fear of ruffling Enlil’s feathers. Everything has a limit though and in the seventh shar after the onset of the Ice Age, Enki once again buckled.
Mankind was “starving and disintegrating”. They were “like ghosts of the dead”. Enki just could not bear the sight of these wraith-like human figures. At the time, mankind was now worshipping the Anunnaki gods formally, in the manner we do today. Wherever they were, they would congregate once in a while and air intercessions and supplications to the Anunnaki, particularly Enlil, Enki, Ninmah and Marduk although the Enkites as a rule abhorred the rite of worship. Humans were doing this out of sheer desperation in the hope that their “gods” might hear them and do something to put an end to their woes.
Enki assembled all the Enkites and loyal elders at his mansion at Eridu and pronounced these instructions: "Make a loud noise in the land. Send out heralds to command all the people: ‘Do not revere your gods, do not pray to your goddesses. There is to be total disobedience!” In other words, Enki decided to force the abolition of religion so that mankind should not remain in a docile, long-suffering state but actualise the inert power in him and become more militant. What this amounted to was an instigation to rise up against Enlil and his fellow Enlilites, who had introduced religion in the time of Seth’s son Enosh.
Enlil of course knew who was behind the whole humdrum and wasted no time in summoning the ever intractable Enki before the Assembly of the Gods. For much of the meeting, Enki and Enlil exchanged caustic words, Enki in defence of his actions and Enlil spewing venom at him for his intransigence.
Meanwhile, Nibiru was in its way back to the Solar System ecliptic in its 3600-year orbital journey around the Sun and its preliminary effects were already being felt. Using seismological instruments, Ninurta had already detected “quakes and jitters” in the Earth’s crust. Perhaps the most chilling of developments was a report submitted to the Assembly of the Gods by Enki’s second-born son Nergal and his wife Ereshkigal, who were based at Cape Agulhas, the astronomical, climate and Earth-monitoring station in South Africa.
They had just returned from the Antarctica and had found that the Antarctic Ice Sheet was slipping and was already at its most precarious angle in relation to the sea. What that meant was that the gravitational tug of a nearing Nibiru was certain to dislodge it into the sea, causing an apocalyptic globalwide flood.
Shortly after receiving the Antarctic Report, Enlil filed his own to King Anu on Nibiru thus: “The next time Nibiru the Sun shall be nearing, Earth to Nibiru's net force (gravity) exposed shall be, Lahmu (Mars) in its circuits on the Sun's other side shall a station take. From the net force of Nibiru Earth in the heavens protection shall not have, Kishar (Jupiter) and its host agitated shall be, Lahamu (Venus) shall also shake and wobble.
In Earth's great Below (southern hemisphere), the snow-ice of the Whiteland (Antarctica) its footing is losing; the next time Nibiru the closest to Earth shall approach, the snow-ice off the Whiteland's surface shall come a-sliding. A watery calamity it shall cause: by a huge wave, a Deluge, the Earth will be overwhelmed”!
After studying the report and following consultations with his advisors, King Anu made the decision that both Earth and Mars were to be evacuated and all the Anunnaki were to return to Nibiru. The gold mines in Africa and the smelting and refining facilities at Badtibira were to be shut down. All the Earth-based Anunnaki were to abandon their postings and converge at Sippa, the space station.
King Anu was to dispatch a fleet of “celestial chariots” (shuttlecraft) to transport the Anunnaki to the Mothership and onward to Nibiru. Of course all this would not happen overnight: it would take several years for preparations to be made, which in Anunnaki time amounted to mere weeks.
GALZU’S STAY-THE-COURSE MESSAGE
During these hectic days, a most interesting virtuoso of a being touched down at the spaceport at Sippar unannounced. Spaceport commander Utu-Shamash promptly got in touch with Enlil so that he meets him as Earth’s Chief Executive. The gray-haired being, who looked Anunnaki in every respect and sounded like a sage, introduced himself as Galzu, meaning “Great Soul”. He said he was coming from Nibiru as King Anu’s “emissary plenipotentiary” and had a special message to deliver. He asked that Enki and Ninmah also be present to hear the message.
Galzu raised suspicions in the mind of Enlil as Enlil had not received advanced notice from King Anu as to Galzu’s mission. Naturally, Enlil demanded that he shows his bonafides. Galzu produced a sealed and encrypted digital message and handed it to Enlil. Having opened and examined the message tablet, the IT experts at Nippur found that it indeed was consistent with other such tablets they had received from King Anu before: it was authentic and its coding was aboveboard. There was no need to request a confirmation from King Anu. The message from King Anu in part said, “For King and Council Galzu speaks, his words are my command”.
Enlil then sent for Enki and Ninmah, who were prompt in their arrival. The first thing Galzu noted about Ninmah was how old she looked when she and him had, so he said, gone to school together on Nibiru at some stage. “Do you remember me Ninmah?” Galzu asked. “We’re of the same age and were classmates.” On her part, Ninmah could not remotely remember the man, who thanks to the slowed biological clocks on Nibiru looked young enough to be her son.
Galzu said he had been sent to Earth to deliver final instructions about the Anunnaki evacuation from Earth ahead of the now near-at-hand Deluge that was certain to arise from the Antarctic Ice Sheet’s precipitate slippage into the Antarctic Sea. It was not in the interests of the three to return to Nibiru as they simply would be returning to their death. Galzu said when Dumuzi came to Nibiru with Adapa and stayed there for one shar, his body chemistry was closely studied and it was found that if he stayed longer, he would die way much earlier than he could if he stayed on Earth. This was because having lived on Earth for all his life, his biological processes were now attuned to Earth’s circadian rhythms and were not amenable to Nibiru’s.
Galzu went on to say all the Anunnaki who had returned to Nibiru after their tour of duty had died after living for only a few shars. “Those who on Earth the longest stayed by the returning harshly were afflicted: their bodies to Nibiru's cycles were accustomed no longer, their sleep was disturbed, their eyesight was failing, the net force of Nibiru weighted their walk,” Galzu said. “Their minds were also affected, as sons were older than the parents they had left! Death, my comrades, to the returnees quickly came; of that I am here a warning to give!”
ENLIL OUTRAGED AT CONFINEMENT TO EARTH
In a nutshell, Galzu’s message was that Enki, Enlil and Ninmah were to spend their entire lives on Earth, where they stood a better chance of living longer than they would on Nibiru: they would return to Nibiru only when staring death in the face so that the last rites were read on the planet of their origin. As such, they should ride out the Deluge and begin life on a new slate once the waters had receded. But the rest of the Anunnaki could return to Nibiru if they so chose.
“Now this is the secret command from Nibiru,” Galzu proceeded. “The three of you on Earth will remain; only to die to Nibiru you will return! In celestial chariots, the Earth encircling, the calamity you shall outwait; to each of the other Anunnaki, a choice to leave or the calamity outwait must be given. The Igigi who Earthlings espoused must between departure and spouses choose: no Earthling, Marduk's Sarpanit included, to Nibiru to journey is allowed! For all who stay and what happens see, in celestial chariots they safety must seek! As for all the others, to depart for Nibiru forthwith they ready must be.”
Enlil was furious as the implications were profound. If he was now confined to Earth, it meant he would no longer inherit the Sirian-Orion throne and he would have to continue contending with Marduk for supremacy on Earth. He ranted to Galzu that he regretted having come to this planet, which Enki and the Lulu’s he created had turned into a cesspit. He didn’t know that as a master, he would become the slave to slaves (Earthlings) and that he would end up being imprisoned on this backward planet.
Galzu listened to him sympathetically. His response at long last was a philosophical one. Was the Anunnaki mission to Earth a matter of fate, which was avoidable, or destiny, which was unavoidable? “On Nibiru much thinking and soul-searching deep questions were being raised,” he said soothingly. “Should Nibiru to its fate have been left (when need arose to plug the Ozone hole with a canopy of gold particles)? Or was the coming to Earth by the Creator of All (God) conceived and we only unwitting emissaries? Of that, my comrades, the debate will continue!” Enlil cursed under his breath. But was Galzu indeed the genuine article he presented himself as or simply an impostor?
Princess Mary falls pregnant only one month after her betrothal to Prince Joseph
To put the lineage of Mary the mother of Jesus in context, General Atiku, it is in order that we begin with her grandfather Yehoshua (Jesus in Greek) III.
Mary was offspring of two royal lines, the Davidic line and the Hasmonean line. Yehoshua III was the Herod–appointed High Priest of Israel between 36 and 23 BC. He had no sons, only three daughters namely Joanna, Elizabeth, and Anna, all of whom he organised dynastic suitors.
Elizabeth would be married off into the House of Aaron, the legitimate priestly line, and Joanna and Anna would be married off into the House of David, the legitimate kingly line. That’s how Elizabeth became the wife of Zechariah of the tribe of Levi and in due course the mother of John the Baptist.
Mainstream Israel up to the level of the Sanhedrin had recognised Anna as the eligible mother of the future King of Israel and not the sitting impostor Herod (it is not clear what happened to first-born Joanna but she probably passed away before she got married). Anna was accordingly married off to Alexander III, a Davidic and Hasmonean prince who was best known as Heli as indeed the genealogy of Luke clearly attests.
Heli and Anna too had no sons. They only had daughters, the firstborn of whom was Dorcas, whose was born in 26 BC and whose titular name was Mary. Mary was orphaned early in her childhood when her father Heli was killed in 17 BC at the orders of the increasingly paranoid Herod and when her mother Anna died a year or so later.
Since she was a dynastic heiress, it was likely that Herod would come after her. The Essenes thus secreted her somewhere in remote Galilee. It was actually in Galilee that most members of the Davidic royal line were concentrated not only to keep as far away from Herod as possible but to also enjoy the protective custody of the Zealots, who were the secret military wing of the Essenes and a thorn in the side of both Herod and the Romans. Joseph was also officially based in Galilee although both he and Mary were in truth based at Qumran in the Judean wilds.
JOSEPH CALLED TO “DUTY”
Dynastic marriages are often more politically strategic than spontaneous, General. For example, the union of Prince Charles and Princess Diana was motivated by the need to fuse the Windsor genes with those of the Stuarts as the Windsors, being predominantly Reptilians, were finding it increasingly difficult to maintain their human form.
The Stuarts, the clan of Diana, had by far more human genes than Reptilian and they too were an aristocratic family. That’s why once Charles had produced a “heir and a spare”, he completely sidelined Diana, who he had never loved, and devoted himself to his real love – Camilla Parker-Bowles.
The marriage of Joseph to Mary, General, was equally strategic. Although both were from the tribe of Judah and of the royal Davidic line, they were from different branches. Joseph was a descendant of Solomon, whereas Mary was a descendant of Nathan, Solomon’s elder brother. The line of Solomon, as we once underlined, had been tainted by the Jeconiah curse.
The line of Nathan was clean. Since the son of Joseph and Mary would be the future King of Israel, it was important that he not be compromised by the baggage, rightly or wrongly, of the Jeconiah curse. Hence the desirability of the union of Prince Joseph and Princess Mary.
Now, both Joseph and Mary’s clans were Essenes. As such, their marriage process, formalities, and protocols had to strictly adhere to Essene dynastic rules. The Essenes were in ranks. Amongst the higher echelons were the two great dynasties, the Davids and the Zadoks, who had been the high priests and kings of Israel respectively before the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar in 586 BC.
The Davids and Zadoks lived a strictly holy life, typically in a monastery at Qumran, the reclusive headquarters of the Essenes. They were sequestered there so that they did not fall prey to the machinations of the bloodthirsty King Herod though officially their address was Galilee. In fact, the major reason the Essene movement had come into existence was to preserve and safeguard the Davidic and Zadokite lines, the religio-politico haunt of Herod and the Hasmoneans initially.
According to the Essene code, General, the Zadoks and the Davids were not to engage in sex for recreational purposes because it was regarded as defiling: it diluted holiness. The only times they were supposed to do so was when need arose to produce heirs. In 8 BC, it was now opportune for Joseph, the David, to produce a heir and so he was excused from a life of chastity.
At this point in time in fact, the Essenes were focused on two dynastic figures. These were Joseph and Zechariah. The two were expected to produce the Messiah of David and the Messiah of Aaron, that is, the future King of Israel and the future High Priest of Israel.
According to Essene rules, the David had to marry at age 36, so that by the time he was 40, he had already sired a heir. The new heir had to be born when the David was 37. If the child was a daughter, she could not inherit, and so the David had to set about the procreation of a second-born, who hopefully would be a boy (copulation to that end was allowed only when the daughter was 3 years old).
The Davidic heir had to be born not in any other month but in September, the holiest in the Jewish calendar. In order to conform to these parameters, a betrothal ceremony was held at the beginning of June. During the betrothal period – the three months from beginning of June to end of August – sexual relations were not permitted.
Then at the beginning of September, a First Marriage was held. This was the beginning of the marriage proper as now the couple were allowed to become intimate. However, the intimacy began only in December, with a view to delivering a heir in September the following year. At the end of March, the Second Marriage was held for it was hoped that by that time the spouse was three months pregnant if there hadn’t been a miscarriage. With the Second Marriage, the wedlock was permanent: divorce was never allowed whatsoever.
Meanwhile, General, if the spouse hadn’t conceived in December, sexual relations were suspended till December the following year. The husband would then leave her spouse and return either to the monastery at Qumran or embark on a tour of duty elsewhere in furtherance of the Essene cause.
A BINDING ENGAGEMENT
According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, General, the Essenes were not only a spiritual, revolutionary, and philosophical movement. They were also ardent believers in astrology. They meticulously studied the stars and the movements of planets to read what they portended about the future.
Thus the reason a Davidic heir had to be born in September was not only because this was the holiest month of the year: it was also in recognition of the fact that September was ruled by the constellation Virgo. In other words, September was astrologically the month of the virgin. That was what Mary was.
Mary was both a virgin physically and a virgin titularly. A bride of the future king was required to be a virgin. As an Essene, Mary belonged to the Order (not the tribe) of Dan. This was the Order of Nuns, or virgins, both legal and physical virgins. Thus in the Order of Dan, a woman was not a virgin only before she slept with a man: she was a virgin until she was six months pregnant. In the case of a dynastic spouse like Mary, this was up to end of June. From then henceforth, she was promoted within the Order to the first stage of a Mother.
Joseph’s betrothal to Mary took place at Qumran in June 8 BC. Now, in our day, betrothal simply means engagement to be married. In ancient Israel up to New Testament times, betrothal was part and parcel of the marriage contract. It was definite and binding upon both groom and bride, who were considered as man and wife in all legal and religious aspects, except that sexual relations were not permitted.
For example, in 2 SAMUEL 3:14, King David refers to his betrothed woman as “my wife”. Also in DEUTERONOMY 22:24, a betrothed woman is referred to as “his neighbour’s wife”. In the betrothal formalities, dowry and bride price were included. If a bride and groom for one reason or the other wanted to opt out of the betrothal after the betrothal ceremony, they had to seek a formal divorce.
Since the betrothal took place in June, General, Joseph and Mary were not supposed to make love till December, that is, six months after the betrothal ceremony and three months after the First Marriage ceremony in September. Just one month after the betrothal ceremony (that is, at the beginning of July 8 BC), however, Mary became pregnant. Was it Joseph, General? Was it rape by a Roman soldier called Panthera as some contemporary records suggest? Or was it simply the supernatural act of the “Holy Spirit” as Christendom holds?
THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS
Those who hold that the circumstances of Mary’s pregnancy were supernatural, General, can be excused. This is because the language employed therein smacks of ethereality – Holy Spirit, Angel Gabriel, Son of the Most High, etc. To those who have read and rigorously studied the Dead Sea Scrolls, however, such terminology is well within the temporal context.
That is to say, it does not carry spiritual connotations as such. True, the idea of an angel speaking to Joseph and Mary in their sleep may seem supernatural but the dreams are theological interpolations, inserted into the gospels in onward editing to fit a contrived agenda – what Karl Marx called the opium of the masses.
The Dead Sea Scrolls are so named because they were discovered in caves around the Qumran plateau of the West Bank (about 40 km east of Jerusalem), at the northwest corner of the Dead Sea, in March 1947. The discoverer was a Bedouin shepherd kid who was looking for a lost goat. The scrolls were found hidden in jars.
The 1947 find was the initial discovery: more discoveries were made after further excavations on the same site spanning 11 years in a series of 11 caves. Altogether, 972 texts were turned up. They are written in four languages, namely Hebrew (the majority), Aramaic, Greek, and Nabatean, mostly on parchment. Other texts were inscribed on papyrus and bronze.
Most of the Dead Sea Scrolls are fragments. Fragments of all the Old Testament books have been found save for the book of Esther. The only complete book is Isaiah. There are also apocryphal books (those arbitrarily excluded from the Old Testament canon by the Constantine-convened Nicene Council of AD 325) such as the Book of Enoch and the Book of Jubilees, and sect-specific writings that embody rules and beliefs of the people who compiled them.
The latter include commentaries on the Old Testament, paraphrases that expand on the Law of Moses, rule books of the community, war conduct, thanksgiving psalms, hymnic compositions, benedictions, liturgical texts, and sapiential (wisdom) writing. These texts have been given appropriate titles such as the War Scroll; Manual of Discipline; the Community Rule; the Temple Scroll; the Copper Scroll; etc.
The Dead Sea Scrolls were written/preserved by the Essenes between 168 BC and 68 AD. We know this because Pliny, the first century Roman historian, wrote that, “On the west coast of Lake Asphaltitis (the Dead Sea) are settled the Essenes, at some distance from the noisome odours that are experienced on the shore itself.
They are a lonely people, the most extraordinary in the world, who live without women, without love, without money, with the palm trees for their only companions.” The Essenes stashed away the scrolls sometime in 70 AD, when Roman General Flavius Titus overran Jerusalem and laid waste to the Temple following a catastrophic Jewish uprising – led by the Zealots, the military wing of the Essenes – that began in 66 BC.
This they did in heed of JEREMIAH 32:14, which says, “Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Take these evidences … and put them in an earthen vessel, that they may continue many days.” The Dead Sea Scrolls have given us invaluable insight into the beliefs, customs, rituals, politics, philosophies, and traditions of first century Palestine.
The rivalry between luxury German automotive marques Mercedes-Benz and BMW is legendary. Both brands offer high-end, high-priced desirable models, always at the forefront of cutting-edge driving technology and excellence. And in the annals of the advertising world, a campaign between the two rivals is equally legendary and it happened on our own doorstep.
Many of you will be familiar with the coastal road out of Cape Town called Chapman’s Peak. It is a beautiful, sightseeing attraction, the road winding through spectacular coastal-mountain scenery, with cliffs sinking into the Atlantic ocean on one side, and steep mountains towering over the road on the other. However, the road is also notoriously dangerous, with its 114 sharp, meandering bends . It’s reputation is well-deserved . Several years ago, when a major coastal cleanup campaign was launched, a helicopter pulled a total of 22 wrecked cars out of the water adjacent to Chapman’s Peak and it was one such accident which prefaced the notorious marketing battle. The story is thus:
In 1988 an Irish businessman lost control of his Mercedes Benz when driving along this road, plunging 100 metres down the cliff. Miraculously, he not only survived the accident, but crawled out of the wreckage with hardly a scratch on his body.
When Mercedes heard the details, the marketing department decided to base a new advertisement on the story to promote the safety features and stability of the brand. In the video ad they intentionally drove an identical model off the road in the exact same location, having it plunge off the edge of the cliff, the driver stepping out similarly unscathed, proving the phenomenal survivability and strength of Mercedes Benz.
When the marketing suits at BMW saw this ad, they took a bold and ingenious decision to mimic it but with a twist. Only a week later, whilst the first ad was still fresh in the public’s minds, they shot their ad showing a BMW driving along the exact same stretch of road in the rain. However, when it reached the point at which the Mercedes plunged off the cliff, the BMW negotiated it safely, and continued driving along the road.
The catchphrase of the ad was “BMW beats the bends” . Or was it? It was cunningly recorded so that it could equally have been ‘beats the Benz’, implying that their cars had superior cornering and stability to their rival, Even more sneakily, they launched their campaign on a Saturday, mindful of the rules on competitive advertising in South Africa, safe in the knowledge that no objectionable actions could be taken till the new working week.
Mercedes-Benz wasted no time on Monday in issuing an injunction, the ad was swiftly pulled but the damage was done and the dog had had its day. The ad campaign ranks high in the history of advertising and can still be found online to this day. Meanwhile the rivalry between the two automotive greats goes on.
I reference this piece of marketing history in the light of this week’s horror crash by golfing great, Tiger Woods. Driving from a luxury holiday resort in California to a nearby country club Tiger Woods lost control of his vehicle on a downhill stretch of the road, smashed through a road sign, crossed over the central reservation and rolled his car several hundred feet. He had to be cut out and pulled to safety through the windscreen and the vehicle was so badly damaged, the attending police officers said he was ‘lucky to survive’.
The vehicle Woods was driving was a rented Genesis GV80 SUV. If you are unfamiliar with the brand that is not surprising since it is a relatively new spin-off from the South Korean Hyundai marque. The Genesis utility vehicle, not available locally yet, retails for around $50,000 or half a million pula, placing it in the higher end of town and country SUVs in the USA.
The model has certainly been widely publicised in the media coverage of the high-profile sportsman’s accident and I suspect that if asked to comment, Hyundai/Genesis would disagree with the police assessment, putting Woods’ survival down to build quality and in-built safety features such as crumple zones, anti-roll bars and airbags, which were deployed in the crash and would most certainly have played their part cushioning the effects of the rolling and ultimate impact. There is , of course, no suggestion that the manufacturers will capitalise on Woods’ survival but certainly it will have done the brand no harm that he did indeed emerge with recoverable injuries.
Comparing the two accidents, the driver of the Mercedes driving along Chapman’s Peak was, of course, an ordinary member of the public whilst Tiger Woods is a household name. That said, in humanitarian terms each tale of survival carries equal weight but the fact remains that the former was just another local story of yet one more victim of a notoriously tricky stretch of road whilst the latter went round the world in an instant because of the fame and name of the driver.
There is also no evidence that that stretch of Californian urban highway carried any inherent risk. His appears to have been just a loss of control and a freak accident. However, in the event that Hyundai/Genesis should consider making capital from that accident, a note of caution needs to be sounded.
In the advertising world, the use of celebrities to promote a product is a fall-back stance to sell anything from washing-up liquid to whisky but statistics have shown that it can be a double-edged sword in that yes, the ads are memorable and the public love them when the celeb is popular and personable. But…..what is often remembered is the name of the famous promoter, not the name of the product. In other words, they sell themselves far better than they sell the item.
In golfing terminology Hyundai/Genesis are not ‘out of the Woods’ yet and maybe they should go with a completely different Driver!
How Jesus’s grandfather sold his birthright to megalomaniac Herod
If you were to ask a Christian to name the main Jewish sects, General Atiku, he would no doubt begin with the Pharisees (because Jesus had innumerable slanging matches with them according to the gospels), followed by the Sadducees. Yet there was a third, equally momentous sect – the Essenes.
Although there’s not a single, one mention of the Essenes in the Bible, General, the New Testament is filled with Essene-type language as anybody who has read the Dead Sea Scrolls would readily recognise.
In point of fact, it was the Essenes who produced Jesus as well as the infamous Jewish band of freedom fighters known as the Zealots. Furthermore, almost all the New Testament writers were either Essenes or champions of the Essene cause as is apparent in their language and the drift of their overall philosophy. The Essenes have a palpable presence in the Bible, albeit a cloaked one.
The Essenes, General, were the most popular, the most esteemed, and the most influential of the Jewish sects. The Jewish historian Philo (20 BC-50 AD) devotes 90 percent of his description of the Jewish sects to the Essenes. He wrote that the Essenes “dwell in many cities of Judea and in many villages and in great societies of many numbers”.
Hyppolytus of Rome (170-236 AD) devoted nine-and-half chapters to the Essenes and only one to the Sadducees. The Essenes are the authors of the famous Dead Sea Scrolls, which were discovered in 1947 in Israel at a place called Qumran and which have given us even greater insight into the happenings in the first century than the Bible itself.
How did the Essene movement come about, General? The Essenes, meaning “puritans of the faith”, were the Jewish sect that was the most loyal to the Davidic dynasty. They set themselves apart from the mainstream Jewish community circa 175 BC and established their headquarters at Qumran, about 40 km from Jerusalem.
Since the Jewish nation revered the Davidic royal line, the only legitimate and rightful rulers of Judah in their view, they rallied to the Essenes en masse. And because the Essenes were disparaging of the Hasmonean rule (140 BC to 63 BC), the mainstream Jews also took a dismissive view of Hasmonean rule too.
The Essenes were so highly regarded because of their virtue and spirituality. The legendary Jewish historian Flavius Josephus (37-100 AD) writes thus of them: “They are more mutually affectionate than the others (Pharisees and Sadducees). Whereas these men shun the pleasures as vice, they consider self-control and not succumbing to the passions virtue … Since [they are] despisers of wealth – their communal stock is astonishing – one cannot find a person among them who has more in terms of possessions.
For by a law, those coming into the school (that is, the Essene fold) must yield up their funds to the order, with the result that in all [their ranks] neither the humiliation of poverty nor the superiority of wealth is detectable, but the assets of each one have been mixed in together, as if they were brothers, to create one fund for all.”
In time, the Essenes, General, became quite influential even with occupying powers. For instance, when the Greek General Pompey installed Hyrcanus II as ruler of Palestine in 63 BC, he sought the opinion of the Essenes. The Essenes recommended that Hyrcanus go by the titles High Priest and Prince, not King, to which Pompey paid heed. In 142 BC, when Simon was installed by the Seleucids as ruler of Palestine, the Essenes had insisted on the same titular style. To the Essenes, everybody who occupied Israel’s seat of authority was simply holding fort for the real deal – the Davidic King.
In 37 BC, when Herod became King of Palestine, the potential Davidic King was Jacob-Eliakim – the father of the Joseph of the gospels – who was an Essene himself. It was in order to win the blessings of the historically popular Jewish royal family that Herod sought to curry favour with the Essenes.
JACOB’S PACT WITH HEROD
About the time Herod came to power, General, there were three citizens of considerable stature in Palestine – Hillel, Menahem, and Jacob-Eliakim, the grandfather of Jesus. Hillel is by all accounts ancient Israel’s greatest teacher and scholar.
He was the foremost spiritual sage in the development of the Talmud and the Mishnah, the most authoritative religious references of the Jews which are second only to the Old Testament in esteem. The renowned “Golden Rule”, which is invariably attributed to Jesus, was actually coined by Hillel. It is not certain whether Hillel was an Essene but his teachings did have a profound influence both on Essene philosophy and that of Jesus, who was an Essene too.
It was Menahem, however, who was an incontrovertible Essene. The Essenes were of two main branches, General. First, there were the puritans, the Palestinian Essenes. Then there were the liberals, the Diaspora Essenes, who sneered at the Palestinian Essenes’ dogmatism and rather strict views on morality. Menahem was the leader of the Diaspora Essenes.
He was also privilleged to be advisor to King Herod. Herod did hold Menahem in very high regard. Josephus relates that when Herod was a school-going lad, Menahem had patted him on his back and said to him, “one day you will be King young man.” Since the prophecy came to pass, Herod had a certain, atypical respect both for Menahem and the order of Essenes.
Jacob-Eliakim’s significance was by virtue of his pedigree. He was of the royal line of David and was therefore the uncrowned King of the Jews. Now, as we have already indicated, Herod had his own grand designs about rulership of the world notwithstanding the fact that he was in reality a vassal of Rome.
When he made overtures to the trio, they didn’t mince words: they told him that in the new Israel, the Israel that would rule Earth once the Romans had been toppled from the pedestal of world power, it was a Davidic King who would reign. Herod took very strong exception to such a prospect. Herod was neither a full-blooded Jew nor of Davidic stock but he was royalty in his own right.
His father, Antipater, had been the governor of Idumea and in due course Judea in the Hasmonean government and was in fact the real ruler of the entire Palestine, with John Hyrcanus being a mere figurehead king. When he (Herod) was only 25 years old, his father had appointed him governor of Galilee. Herod thus had strutted the corridors of power from the day he was born and he wasn’t going to give that up easily either for his own sake or that of his descendants.
As such, General, Herod maintained to the trio that in the new, overarching Kingdom of Israel, he was going to be the emperor and would be based in Jerusalem. Just like the Greek empire of Alexander had been a triarchy (a kingdom divided into three governments), the global Kingdom of Israel (“Thy Kingdom Come” in the Lord’s Prayer) was going to be likewise.
There was going to be a ruler in the east, a ruler in the west, and a ruler in the centre, that is Jerusalem, under the oversight of Herod himself. Hillel would rule in Jerusalem; Menahem in the east; and Jacob-Eliakim in the west. If these three happened to have disappeared from the Earthly scene by the time the Kingdom of Israel came into being, their descendants would observe the same setup.
The pecking order would thus be like this: Herod as the emperor; Hillel as the senior king; Menahem as the second-ranked king; and Jacob-Eliakim as the junior king. Put differently, Herod had by the stroke of a pen reduced the Davidic dynasty from foremost to least important as it posed the most serious threat to his office. Meanwhile, the three kings-in-waiting would go by the names of the Old Testament patriarchs.
Hillel would henceforth be called the Abraham, or the Father (or Papa, which later morphed into Pope), since Abraham was the Father of the Jewish nation; Menahem would be called the Isaac (Abraham’s son); and Eliakim the Jacob (Isaac’s son). Half a loaf was better than nothing at all and so Jacob-Eliakim meekly accepted this arrangement.
When Jesus later said, “Many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the new Kingdom of Heaven (MATTHEW 8:11),” he did not mean an afterlife kingdom: he referred to the Earthly setup proposed by King Herod.
FALLOUT WITH ESSENES
Those days, General, the Davidic heir used the title “Jacob” rather than “David” as the latter title was very risky, particularly under the Hasmonean government. Given that Joseph was the most beloved son of the Old Testament Jacob, the next in line, that is, the firstborn son of the Jacob, used the title “Joseph”.
In September 44 BC, a son was born to Jacob-Eliakim. As the crown prince to the Jacob, he was given the titular name Joseph, the name by which he became best-known. Like his father Jacob-Eliakim, Joseph was a missionary. But he also had a trade. He was a carpenter, a boat builder primarily, and a master of his craft. The word translated “carpenter” in the Bible is the ancient Greek word “ho hekton” which means a master artisan or craftsman.
In 31 BC, Qumran, the Essenes’ Judean wilderness bastion, was struck by an earthquake. The hermitic Essenes had no choice but to trek back to Jerusalem, from where they operated indefinitely at a place they called the Essene Gate. Then in 23 BC, Herod struck again. He had Jacob-Eliakim killed on trumped-up charges of sedition, his motive simply being a continuation of a systematic purge of the Davidic “pretenders” to his throne.
The Essenes were wroth. They now set about promulgating to the Diaspora Essenes that Herod would have no part to play in the coming Kingdom. Instead, the overall King would be Joseph, the son of Jacob-Eliakim. This, General, was the beginning of a permanent rift between Herod and the Essene sect.
THE SAGA OF JOSEPH
The prospective global world, General, was subdivided into ten provinces to facilitate governance and tax collection. Palestine would have two provinces, Judea and Samaria, the latter of which would include Galilee. Asia Minor (largely present-day Turkey), where the bulk of Diaspora Jews were concentrated, would have five provinces.
The last three provinces would be Babylon, Rome, and Alexandria in Egypt. The future capital of the West was not Rome: it was Ephesus in Asia Minor. Having been allocated the West, it was in Ephesus and Alexandria that Jacob-Eliakim spent most of his time evangelizing to fellow Jews about the future Kingdom of Israel. This was the beginning of the New Covenant, whereby Jews who converted to the ideal of a new Kingdom of Israel were baptised by immersion in water.
To mainstream Palestinian Jews, General, Jacob-Eliakim was a sellout. Herod had demoted his pedigree but to somewhat placate him, he gave him the honorary title of Patriarch or Prince of Jerusalem. By subordinating the Davidic throne-in-waiting to Herod, Jacob-Eliakim had gone against what the nation of Israel’s God, Enlil, the Bible’s main Jehovah, decreed – that every King of Judah had to be a descendant of David. So when the unpredictable Herod had him killed in 23 BC for “sedition”, as part of a pogrom against the line of David, there was very little sympathy for him.
In 44 BC, Joseph had been born to Jacob-Eliakim. Joseph was a title: it was not his real name. At the death of his father, Joseph became the Jacob. However, he preferred the title “David”, the more apt one historically. Joseph would become the father of Jesus. When Joseph attained 30 years of age in 14 BC, his uncles and the Essene sages sent him to Rome and Alexandria to do his part in missionary work, which was simply about promulgating to the Diaspora Jews the future Kingdom of Israel in which a Son of David, that is a descendant of King David, would rule. Egypt was also a special place because Joseph’s maternal relations were Egyptians.
Jacob-Eliakim, General, had two wives. The one was called Euchariah, a Jewish princess, of whom very little is known, and the other, the dynastic wife, was an Egyptian princess, a daughter of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt and Julius Caesar. Jacob-Eliakim and this princess had three sons: they were Joseph, the father of Jesus, and the twins Cleopas (after whom James, Jesus’ immediate younger brother, whose given name was Cleopas, was named) and Ptolas. Joseph was thus the Davidian Prince of Israel as well as contender to Crown Prince of Egypt. Despite pretences to the contrary on the part of the Jews, Egypt and Israel have always had ties of monarchical kinship.
In 8 BC, General, Joseph was required by Essene custom to return home and fulfill his obligations for a dynastic marriage. A wife-to-be had already been chosen for him by his uncles and other patriarchal Essenes. This was Dorcas, better known today by her title name Mary.