Having been pardoned by the gracious Enki, Enlil returned to his temperate redoubt in the Lebanon mountains and tied the knot with Sud. He also gave an undertaking, which he was to inviolably abide by throughout his stay on Earth, that he would never indulge in sexual relations outside wedlock such was the shock of “Sudigate”.
Following his marriage to Sud, Enlil sent for Ninurta, the Nibiru-based son he had with his half-sister Ninmah. Meanwhile, Sud gave him a son, who he named Nannar but who is best known as Sin, a corruption of the Akkadian Suen and after whom Mount Sinai is named. Sin (who was to become the Allah of Islam) has gone into the annals of history as the first Anunnaki to be born on Earth. Enlil had one more child and his last: it was yet another son called Ishkur, also called Adad. Enlil never had daughters and never had concubines. After siring two children by Sud, Enlil was now confirmed as Earth’s Commander-in-Chief by the Anunnaki top-brass. It was at this stage that Sud became Ninlil, meaning “First Lady” as she indeed had become the highest ranking Anunnaki female on Earth. When Ninurta arrived on Earth, one of the key responsibilities Enlil entrusted him was to see to timely deliveries of the gold that was being mined in today’s Zimbabwe, South Africa and Swaziland to the mother planet Nibiru. Ninurta, a skilled military service man, became Enlil’s “Foremost Warrior”. In order to ensure that both Enlilites and Enkites obeyed him, Enlil provided Ninurta with the IB missile, “a weapon with 50 killing heads”. Besides being a skilled soldier, Ninurta was a mineral geologist and metallurgist. Thus when Baditibira, the “Metal City” where gold ores were smelted and refined into ingots was set up in the Edin, Ninurta was appointed as its first governor.
ENKI’S SEXUAL ANTICS
Enki, who was based in Zimbabwe, was in due course joined by his Nibiru-born and firstborn son Marduk. But he was in no hurry to get his wife Damkina to join him too as his sights were set on his step-sister Ninmah. Since his arch-rival Enlil had a son with Ninmah, Enki wanted his turn too, aware that when it came to contending for kingly succession, it was a son with a half-sister that counted, not the firstborn son overall per se. Marduk, who was next in line to the Sirian-Orion throne after Enlil, had been banished to Earth for good by Anu for marrying an Earthling, a story we shall dwell upon in detail at a later stage. As a result, Enki determined to have a son with Ninmah to replace Marduk in the jockeying for the Milky Way Galaxy’s most influential throne. In the process, he invited Ninmah to stay with him at his ostentatious “silver and lapis lazuli” adorned mansion on the banks of the Zambezi River. One thing led to another, bar marriage as Ninmah had a spinster curse hanging over her courtesy of King Anu, who was incensed that she had scuppered his plans to have him marry Enki when she sired Ninurta with Enlil. Unfortunately, a son was a “no-show”: all the kids, six in all, were daughters and all came in rapid succession such was Enki’s haste to produce a male heir. Of the six, three rose to prominence. They were Geshtinanna, who was gifted at poetry and interpreting dreams; Ninsun (also known as Nina or Nanshe), arguably Enki’s most brilliant and soulful daughter; and Nindaba (also known as Sesheta), reputed as the goddess of writing. At some stage, Ninmah stayed for an extended period of time at her medical centre in Shuruppak in the Edin. Desperate to sire a bloodline male heir carrying the all-important DNA of Ninmah, Enki sweet-talked Ninsun, who aesthetically was the spitting image of her mother, and had sexual relations with her which resulted in pregnancy. Ninmah was livid. First, she had Ninsun travel to the Edin whereupon she administered an abortion on her. The foetus was buried in her experimental herb garden and a particularly potent herb was grown on the grave. Ninmah, a trained pharmacologist, then prepared a delicious but highly poisonous brew from this herb and had Enki drink it in addition to lacing his food with it. The poison was not meant to kill him but to simply sexually incapacitate him. It had serious side effects though: Enki kept throwing up and was in excruciating pain all day long. In addition, he began to shrivel up and age rapidly, his skin turning a putrid yellow. It was not until Enki’s right-hand man, Isimud, pleaded with Ninmah that she provided the antidote to reverse the effects of the poison. From then on, Enki never touched her. Following his spurn by Ninmah, Enki had his wife Damkina join him from Nibiru and more children followed. Altogether, Enki had four Earth-born sons with Damkina. They were Nergal (the origin of the term “Negro”), Gibil, Ninagal, and Dumuzi. Enki’s other eminent son was Ningishzidda (also known as Thoth), who like him was an all-round genius. Enki had Ningishzidda with Nanna-Sin’s daughter Ereshkigal. Ereshkigal was at once a grand-daughter of Enki in that Ningal (also known as Asherah), Ereshkigal’s mother, was Enki’s daughter by another mistress known as Ningikuga. Ereshkigal had been sent to run the Cape Agulhas astronomical, climate and Earth-monitoring station in South Africa. It was in the aftermath of this posting that Enki begot Ningishzidda with her. Meanwhile, Nergal, also known as Erra, had been given overall superintendence over African mines by Enki. Nergal resented the prominent presence of Ereshkigal, an Enlilite, on a continent that should have been the preserve of Enkites. He also hated the fact that her unborn child, Ningishzidda, who had the more politically superior Enlilite blood, might in future contend with him for the dominance of southern Africa. These factors made Nergal plot to kill Ereshkigal. However, when he was just priming to do so, Ereshkigal sweet-talked him into marrying her. Hence it was that Nergal married a half-sister and raised a step-son who was at once his half-brother. The marriage clearly was dictated more by politics than anything else. Enki, however, was not yet done. He had another child, a daughter, with his granddaughter Inanna-Ishtar (whose mother was Enki’s daughter Ningal), a sister to Ereshkigal. Inanna fell pregnant when she visited Enki in Zimbabwe with a view to get her hands on the vitally important computer chips known as MEs. The daughter was named Sharra. On his part, Ningishzidda had a steady relationship with Geshtinanna which did not culminate in a formal marriage or a child.
ENKI EXPERIMENTS WITH HOMO ERECTUS
Not long after he had transferred to the Abzu from Eridu, Enki set up an alternative home in present-day East Africa in addition to the main one along the Zambezi River. The new home was again situated on the banks of a river. It was a superlatively equipped laboratory, which he later manned with Ningishzidda. Enki called the laboratory BIT SHIIMTI, which means “Place Where The Wind of Life is Blown In”. Here, Enki wanted to further inquire into nature. “Of the differences between what on Earth and what on Nibiru appeared he wished to learn,” his master scribe Endubasar writes on his behalf in The Lost Book of Enki. “The mysteries of living and dying of Earth’s creatures to unravel he sought.” Put differently, Enki and his son were engaged in a genetic engineering programme. Because his time was so much taken up by scientific inquiry at Bit Shiimti , Enki appointed Ennugi to take care of the day-to-day oversight of mining activities in Zimbabwe as his son Nergal was busy exploiting new mines in West Africa, notably today’s Ghana. Enki had set up Bit Shiimti in East Africa chiefly because there was one creature there which had fascinated him and which he wanted to study at close quarters in its natural habitat. This ape-like creature is what we today call Homo Erectus, or Ape-Man. Enki describes the creature thus: “They lived among the tall trees, their front legs as hands they were using … Erect they seemed to be walking … They eat plants with their mouths, they drink water from lake and ditch. Shaggy with hair is their body, their head hair is like a lion’s. With gazelles they jostle, with teeming creatures in the waters they delight!” Enki had noted that Ape-Man had a bit of intelligence and compassion. For instance, when Enki laid traps for game animals and they got ensnared, Ape-Man untangled them to safety. Obviously, there had to be something special about this creature and indeed there was. So Enki decided, first, to study and map the genome, that is, the genetic blueprint, of Ape-Man. To his surprise, he found Ape-Man’s genes and those of the Anunnaki differed only be a few hundreds! In only a few million years’ time, Enki reckoned, Ape-Man was going to evolve into an intelligent, versatile being like the Anunnaki were! Ape-Man and the Anunnaki were of the same genetic seed! At some stage, the Anunnaki miners began to grumble about the exertions of underground mining. Like the naturally sympathetic man he was, Enki thought a way had to be found to relieve the toil of the Anunnaki miners not through mechanical means anymore but by organic means. So Enki and Ningishzidda embarked on the endeavour to bring about improved creatures through not only tampering with the genetic order of Ape-Man but also by mixing two life forms. The ancient historian Berossus gives us a hint of what transpired in Enki’s laboratories in the following words: “Creatures appeared with two wings, some with four and two faces. They had one body but two heads, the one of a man, the other of a woman. They were likewise in their several organs both male and female. Others had legs and horns of goats. Some had horses’ feet; others had limbs of a horse behind, but in front were fashioned like men, resembling hippocentaurs. Bulls likewise bred there with the heads of men; and dogs with fourfold bodies, and the tails of fishes. Also horses with the heads of dogs. In short, there were creatures with the limbs of every species of animals.” Enki and Ningishzidda finally were close to coming up with a perfect hybrid creature and it was at this stage that Enki contrived a miners’ go-slow to get Enlil to come over to the Abzu so he could coax him into giving the nod to the creation of a LULU AMELU, a primitive worker, to “bear the yoke on the gods’ behalf”.
“LET US CREATE A WORKER RACE”
In the 40th shar, or 144,000 years since the Anunnaki arrival on Earth, Ninurta, who was in charge of Badtibira, noted that shipments of ores had become less frequent. Concerned, Ninurta filed a report to his dad at Nippur. Enlil immediately instructed him to travel to the Abzu (Africa) to investigate. When Ninurta arrived in modern-day Zimbabwe (then called Ophir, the root word for Afur-ika, or Africa), he was met by mining superintendent Ennugi. His uncle Enki, the overall overseer of mining operations, was nowhere to be seen. Ninurta supposed the reason production had plummeted could be put to Enki’s seeming detachment. Little, if at all, did he know that the curtailed production was deliberately designed by Enki! Ennugi reported to Ninurta that the Anunnaki miners were on a go-slow, which was now verging on a complete downing of the tools. They found the excavation toil just too arduous and taxing. After all, they were not miners by trade: they were astronauts. They had auxiliary instrumentation at their disposal all right, but this only minimally lessened the strain. Ninurta asked where Enki was as he was best suited to address the miners’ grievances. Ennugi told him Enki was not even based in Zimbabwe anymore: he spent the bulk of his time in modern-day East Africa, where he had set up a research facility to whet his scientific appetite. Ninurta radioed Enki to alert him of the gravity of the crisis at hand. To Ninurta’s surprise, Enki responded that even he was not in a position to defuse it; only Enlil as Earth’s Chief Executive could. Enlil was forthwith sent for and wasted no time in flying over. Enlil, the Bible’s Jehovah/Yahweh, arrived in Zimbabwe with guns blazing. He was fuming and snorting: heads were certainly going to roll. The miners’ gesture amounted to treason, he charged: if sufficient quantities of gold were not being shipped to Nibiru, the planet itself would be sabotaged, with incalculable losses of lives from the Ozone breach. But if Enlil thought by flexing executive muscle he was throwing a deterrent scare into the miners, he was in for a rude shock. For the moment he arrived, the miners upped the ante: they set all the mining tools on fire, besieged his residence near the mining plant, and swore they were not going to let him go back to the Edin till he had issued instructions that they be put on a spaceship back home. At once staggered and humiliated, Enlil summoned Enki from his East African base. Enki arrived with his son Ningishzidda, followed by Ninmah. Enlil wondered to Enki what on Earth was happening; Ninurta had already intimated to his father that Enki’s laid-back approach to supervision had precipitated the rowdy indiscipline that was now in evidence. Enki said the miners were not being insubordinate: their gripe was understandable and their direct supervisor Ennugi would be the first to vouch for this. Indeed, when Ennugi was fetched to give his side of the story, he sided with the miners. “Ever since Earth’s heat has been rising, the toil is excruciating, unbearable it is,” he stated according to Enki’s reminiscences (The Anunnaki had come to Earth during an Ice Age). Ninurta too was sympathetic with the plight of the miners. “Let the rebels to Nibiru return,” he suggested. “Let new ones come in their stead.” Enlil of course would not countenance such a course of action: it would reflect a jelly-kneed cave-in by the planet’s ultimate authority. So turning to Enki, he implored: “Perchance new tools you can fashion? For the Anunnaki Heroes the tunnels to avoid?” In other words, Enlil was suggesting that Enki create robots to mine the gold on behalf of the Anunnaki! Enki excused himself to confer with his son Ningishzidda. Father and son huddled in a corner and after deliberating for some while, they came up with a humdinger of a suggestion which Enki announced thus to the assembly: “Let us create a LULU AMELU, a primitive worker the hardship work to take over. Let the Being the toil of the Anunnaki carry on his back!” Enlil and others were nonplussed. How feasible was such an idea? they wondered. On her part, Ninmah averred: “The task is unheard of! All Beings from a seed have descended, one being from another over eons did develop, none from nothing came!” With an ironic twinkle in his eye, Enki replied: “A secret of the Abzu let me to you reveal: the Being that we need, it already exists! All that we have to do is put on it the mark of our essence!” Does Enki’s statement ring a bell? Well, this is what GENESIS 1:26 reads: “And God said let us make man in our own image and likeness”. Now, the term translated “God” in the verse is actually “ELOHIM” in the Hebrew original. Elohim is a plural term (the singular is “El” or “Eloah”) and it was another name for the top-brass Anunnaki, the so-called Pantheon of the 12 and their immediate families. By “essence”, Enki was referring to what the Anunnaki called the “TE’EMA”. And what was this Te’ema? It was what we today call DNA, which indeed is life’s essence! In short, Enki was saying all the Anunnaki had to do was graft their genes onto the “Being” he was talking about, thereby binding their image and likeness on it and thus enabling it to behave and act intelligently. The being in question was none other than Homo Erectus.
Princess Mary falls pregnant only one month after her betrothal to Prince Joseph
To put the lineage of Mary the mother of Jesus in context, General Atiku, it is in order that we begin with her grandfather Yehoshua (Jesus in Greek) III.
Mary was offspring of two royal lines, the Davidic line and the Hasmonean line. Yehoshua III was the Herod–appointed High Priest of Israel between 36 and 23 BC. He had no sons, only three daughters namely Joanna, Elizabeth, and Anna, all of whom he organised dynastic suitors.
Elizabeth would be married off into the House of Aaron, the legitimate priestly line, and Joanna and Anna would be married off into the House of David, the legitimate kingly line. That’s how Elizabeth became the wife of Zechariah of the tribe of Levi and in due course the mother of John the Baptist.
Mainstream Israel up to the level of the Sanhedrin had recognised Anna as the eligible mother of the future King of Israel and not the sitting impostor Herod (it is not clear what happened to first-born Joanna but she probably passed away before she got married). Anna was accordingly married off to Alexander III, a Davidic and Hasmonean prince who was best known as Heli as indeed the genealogy of Luke clearly attests.
Heli and Anna too had no sons. They only had daughters, the firstborn of whom was Dorcas, whose was born in 26 BC and whose titular name was Mary. Mary was orphaned early in her childhood when her father Heli was killed in 17 BC at the orders of the increasingly paranoid Herod and when her mother Anna died a year or so later.
Since she was a dynastic heiress, it was likely that Herod would come after her. The Essenes thus secreted her somewhere in remote Galilee. It was actually in Galilee that most members of the Davidic royal line were concentrated not only to keep as far away from Herod as possible but to also enjoy the protective custody of the Zealots, who were the secret military wing of the Essenes and a thorn in the side of both Herod and the Romans. Joseph was also officially based in Galilee although both he and Mary were in truth based at Qumran in the Judean wilds.
JOSEPH CALLED TO “DUTY”
Dynastic marriages are often more politically strategic than spontaneous, General. For example, the union of Prince Charles and Princess Diana was motivated by the need to fuse the Windsor genes with those of the Stuarts as the Windsors, being predominantly Reptilians, were finding it increasingly difficult to maintain their human form.
The Stuarts, the clan of Diana, had by far more human genes than Reptilian and they too were an aristocratic family. That’s why once Charles had produced a “heir and a spare”, he completely sidelined Diana, who he had never loved, and devoted himself to his real love – Camilla Parker-Bowles.
The marriage of Joseph to Mary, General, was equally strategic. Although both were from the tribe of Judah and of the royal Davidic line, they were from different branches. Joseph was a descendant of Solomon, whereas Mary was a descendant of Nathan, Solomon’s elder brother. The line of Solomon, as we once underlined, had been tainted by the Jeconiah curse.
The line of Nathan was clean. Since the son of Joseph and Mary would be the future King of Israel, it was important that he not be compromised by the baggage, rightly or wrongly, of the Jeconiah curse. Hence the desirability of the union of Prince Joseph and Princess Mary.
Now, both Joseph and Mary’s clans were Essenes. As such, their marriage process, formalities, and protocols had to strictly adhere to Essene dynastic rules. The Essenes were in ranks. Amongst the higher echelons were the two great dynasties, the Davids and the Zadoks, who had been the high priests and kings of Israel respectively before the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar in 586 BC.
The Davids and Zadoks lived a strictly holy life, typically in a monastery at Qumran, the reclusive headquarters of the Essenes. They were sequestered there so that they did not fall prey to the machinations of the bloodthirsty King Herod though officially their address was Galilee. In fact, the major reason the Essene movement had come into existence was to preserve and safeguard the Davidic and Zadokite lines, the religio-politico haunt of Herod and the Hasmoneans initially.
According to the Essene code, General, the Zadoks and the Davids were not to engage in sex for recreational purposes because it was regarded as defiling: it diluted holiness. The only times they were supposed to do so was when need arose to produce heirs. In 8 BC, it was now opportune for Joseph, the David, to produce a heir and so he was excused from a life of chastity.
At this point in time in fact, the Essenes were focused on two dynastic figures. These were Joseph and Zechariah. The two were expected to produce the Messiah of David and the Messiah of Aaron, that is, the future King of Israel and the future High Priest of Israel.
According to Essene rules, the David had to marry at age 36, so that by the time he was 40, he had already sired a heir. The new heir had to be born when the David was 37. If the child was a daughter, she could not inherit, and so the David had to set about the procreation of a second-born, who hopefully would be a boy (copulation to that end was allowed only when the daughter was 3 years old).
The Davidic heir had to be born not in any other month but in September, the holiest in the Jewish calendar. In order to conform to these parameters, a betrothal ceremony was held at the beginning of June. During the betrothal period – the three months from beginning of June to end of August – sexual relations were not permitted.
Then at the beginning of September, a First Marriage was held. This was the beginning of the marriage proper as now the couple were allowed to become intimate. However, the intimacy began only in December, with a view to delivering a heir in September the following year. At the end of March, the Second Marriage was held for it was hoped that by that time the spouse was three months pregnant if there hadn’t been a miscarriage. With the Second Marriage, the wedlock was permanent: divorce was never allowed whatsoever.
Meanwhile, General, if the spouse hadn’t conceived in December, sexual relations were suspended till December the following year. The husband would then leave her spouse and return either to the monastery at Qumran or embark on a tour of duty elsewhere in furtherance of the Essene cause.
A BINDING ENGAGEMENT
According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, General, the Essenes were not only a spiritual, revolutionary, and philosophical movement. They were also ardent believers in astrology. They meticulously studied the stars and the movements of planets to read what they portended about the future.
Thus the reason a Davidic heir had to be born in September was not only because this was the holiest month of the year: it was also in recognition of the fact that September was ruled by the constellation Virgo. In other words, September was astrologically the month of the virgin. That was what Mary was.
Mary was both a virgin physically and a virgin titularly. A bride of the future king was required to be a virgin. As an Essene, Mary belonged to the Order (not the tribe) of Dan. This was the Order of Nuns, or virgins, both legal and physical virgins. Thus in the Order of Dan, a woman was not a virgin only before she slept with a man: she was a virgin until she was six months pregnant. In the case of a dynastic spouse like Mary, this was up to end of June. From then henceforth, she was promoted within the Order to the first stage of a Mother.
Joseph’s betrothal to Mary took place at Qumran in June 8 BC. Now, in our day, betrothal simply means engagement to be married. In ancient Israel up to New Testament times, betrothal was part and parcel of the marriage contract. It was definite and binding upon both groom and bride, who were considered as man and wife in all legal and religious aspects, except that sexual relations were not permitted.
For example, in 2 SAMUEL 3:14, King David refers to his betrothed woman as “my wife”. Also in DEUTERONOMY 22:24, a betrothed woman is referred to as “his neighbour’s wife”. In the betrothal formalities, dowry and bride price were included. If a bride and groom for one reason or the other wanted to opt out of the betrothal after the betrothal ceremony, they had to seek a formal divorce.
Since the betrothal took place in June, General, Joseph and Mary were not supposed to make love till December, that is, six months after the betrothal ceremony and three months after the First Marriage ceremony in September. Just one month after the betrothal ceremony (that is, at the beginning of July 8 BC), however, Mary became pregnant. Was it Joseph, General? Was it rape by a Roman soldier called Panthera as some contemporary records suggest? Or was it simply the supernatural act of the “Holy Spirit” as Christendom holds?
THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS
Those who hold that the circumstances of Mary’s pregnancy were supernatural, General, can be excused. This is because the language employed therein smacks of ethereality – Holy Spirit, Angel Gabriel, Son of the Most High, etc. To those who have read and rigorously studied the Dead Sea Scrolls, however, such terminology is well within the temporal context.
That is to say, it does not carry spiritual connotations as such. True, the idea of an angel speaking to Joseph and Mary in their sleep may seem supernatural but the dreams are theological interpolations, inserted into the gospels in onward editing to fit a contrived agenda – what Karl Marx called the opium of the masses.
The Dead Sea Scrolls are so named because they were discovered in caves around the Qumran plateau of the West Bank (about 40 km east of Jerusalem), at the northwest corner of the Dead Sea, in March 1947. The discoverer was a Bedouin shepherd kid who was looking for a lost goat. The scrolls were found hidden in jars.
The 1947 find was the initial discovery: more discoveries were made after further excavations on the same site spanning 11 years in a series of 11 caves. Altogether, 972 texts were turned up. They are written in four languages, namely Hebrew (the majority), Aramaic, Greek, and Nabatean, mostly on parchment. Other texts were inscribed on papyrus and bronze.
Most of the Dead Sea Scrolls are fragments. Fragments of all the Old Testament books have been found save for the book of Esther. The only complete book is Isaiah. There are also apocryphal books (those arbitrarily excluded from the Old Testament canon by the Constantine-convened Nicene Council of AD 325) such as the Book of Enoch and the Book of Jubilees, and sect-specific writings that embody rules and beliefs of the people who compiled them.
The latter include commentaries on the Old Testament, paraphrases that expand on the Law of Moses, rule books of the community, war conduct, thanksgiving psalms, hymnic compositions, benedictions, liturgical texts, and sapiential (wisdom) writing. These texts have been given appropriate titles such as the War Scroll; Manual of Discipline; the Community Rule; the Temple Scroll; the Copper Scroll; etc.
The Dead Sea Scrolls were written/preserved by the Essenes between 168 BC and 68 AD. We know this because Pliny, the first century Roman historian, wrote that, “On the west coast of Lake Asphaltitis (the Dead Sea) are settled the Essenes, at some distance from the noisome odours that are experienced on the shore itself.
They are a lonely people, the most extraordinary in the world, who live without women, without love, without money, with the palm trees for their only companions.” The Essenes stashed away the scrolls sometime in 70 AD, when Roman General Flavius Titus overran Jerusalem and laid waste to the Temple following a catastrophic Jewish uprising – led by the Zealots, the military wing of the Essenes – that began in 66 BC.
This they did in heed of JEREMIAH 32:14, which says, “Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Take these evidences … and put them in an earthen vessel, that they may continue many days.” The Dead Sea Scrolls have given us invaluable insight into the beliefs, customs, rituals, politics, philosophies, and traditions of first century Palestine.
The rivalry between luxury German automotive marques Mercedes-Benz and BMW is legendary. Both brands offer high-end, high-priced desirable models, always at the forefront of cutting-edge driving technology and excellence. And in the annals of the advertising world, a campaign between the two rivals is equally legendary and it happened on our own doorstep.
Many of you will be familiar with the coastal road out of Cape Town called Chapman’s Peak. It is a beautiful, sightseeing attraction, the road winding through spectacular coastal-mountain scenery, with cliffs sinking into the Atlantic ocean on one side, and steep mountains towering over the road on the other. However, the road is also notoriously dangerous, with its 114 sharp, meandering bends . It’s reputation is well-deserved . Several years ago, when a major coastal cleanup campaign was launched, a helicopter pulled a total of 22 wrecked cars out of the water adjacent to Chapman’s Peak and it was one such accident which prefaced the notorious marketing battle. The story is thus:
In 1988 an Irish businessman lost control of his Mercedes Benz when driving along this road, plunging 100 metres down the cliff. Miraculously, he not only survived the accident, but crawled out of the wreckage with hardly a scratch on his body.
When Mercedes heard the details, the marketing department decided to base a new advertisement on the story to promote the safety features and stability of the brand. In the video ad they intentionally drove an identical model off the road in the exact same location, having it plunge off the edge of the cliff, the driver stepping out similarly unscathed, proving the phenomenal survivability and strength of Mercedes Benz.
When the marketing suits at BMW saw this ad, they took a bold and ingenious decision to mimic it but with a twist. Only a week later, whilst the first ad was still fresh in the public’s minds, they shot their ad showing a BMW driving along the exact same stretch of road in the rain. However, when it reached the point at which the Mercedes plunged off the cliff, the BMW negotiated it safely, and continued driving along the road.
The catchphrase of the ad was “BMW beats the bends” . Or was it? It was cunningly recorded so that it could equally have been ‘beats the Benz’, implying that their cars had superior cornering and stability to their rival, Even more sneakily, they launched their campaign on a Saturday, mindful of the rules on competitive advertising in South Africa, safe in the knowledge that no objectionable actions could be taken till the new working week.
Mercedes-Benz wasted no time on Monday in issuing an injunction, the ad was swiftly pulled but the damage was done and the dog had had its day. The ad campaign ranks high in the history of advertising and can still be found online to this day. Meanwhile the rivalry between the two automotive greats goes on.
I reference this piece of marketing history in the light of this week’s horror crash by golfing great, Tiger Woods. Driving from a luxury holiday resort in California to a nearby country club Tiger Woods lost control of his vehicle on a downhill stretch of the road, smashed through a road sign, crossed over the central reservation and rolled his car several hundred feet. He had to be cut out and pulled to safety through the windscreen and the vehicle was so badly damaged, the attending police officers said he was ‘lucky to survive’.
The vehicle Woods was driving was a rented Genesis GV80 SUV. If you are unfamiliar with the brand that is not surprising since it is a relatively new spin-off from the South Korean Hyundai marque. The Genesis utility vehicle, not available locally yet, retails for around $50,000 or half a million pula, placing it in the higher end of town and country SUVs in the USA.
The model has certainly been widely publicised in the media coverage of the high-profile sportsman’s accident and I suspect that if asked to comment, Hyundai/Genesis would disagree with the police assessment, putting Woods’ survival down to build quality and in-built safety features such as crumple zones, anti-roll bars and airbags, which were deployed in the crash and would most certainly have played their part cushioning the effects of the rolling and ultimate impact. There is , of course, no suggestion that the manufacturers will capitalise on Woods’ survival but certainly it will have done the brand no harm that he did indeed emerge with recoverable injuries.
Comparing the two accidents, the driver of the Mercedes driving along Chapman’s Peak was, of course, an ordinary member of the public whilst Tiger Woods is a household name. That said, in humanitarian terms each tale of survival carries equal weight but the fact remains that the former was just another local story of yet one more victim of a notoriously tricky stretch of road whilst the latter went round the world in an instant because of the fame and name of the driver.
There is also no evidence that that stretch of Californian urban highway carried any inherent risk. His appears to have been just a loss of control and a freak accident. However, in the event that Hyundai/Genesis should consider making capital from that accident, a note of caution needs to be sounded.
In the advertising world, the use of celebrities to promote a product is a fall-back stance to sell anything from washing-up liquid to whisky but statistics have shown that it can be a double-edged sword in that yes, the ads are memorable and the public love them when the celeb is popular and personable. But…..what is often remembered is the name of the famous promoter, not the name of the product. In other words, they sell themselves far better than they sell the item.
In golfing terminology Hyundai/Genesis are not ‘out of the Woods’ yet and maybe they should go with a completely different Driver!
How Jesus’s grandfather sold his birthright to megalomaniac Herod
If you were to ask a Christian to name the main Jewish sects, General Atiku, he would no doubt begin with the Pharisees (because Jesus had innumerable slanging matches with them according to the gospels), followed by the Sadducees. Yet there was a third, equally momentous sect – the Essenes.
Although there’s not a single, one mention of the Essenes in the Bible, General, the New Testament is filled with Essene-type language as anybody who has read the Dead Sea Scrolls would readily recognise.
In point of fact, it was the Essenes who produced Jesus as well as the infamous Jewish band of freedom fighters known as the Zealots. Furthermore, almost all the New Testament writers were either Essenes or champions of the Essene cause as is apparent in their language and the drift of their overall philosophy. The Essenes have a palpable presence in the Bible, albeit a cloaked one.
The Essenes, General, were the most popular, the most esteemed, and the most influential of the Jewish sects. The Jewish historian Philo (20 BC-50 AD) devotes 90 percent of his description of the Jewish sects to the Essenes. He wrote that the Essenes “dwell in many cities of Judea and in many villages and in great societies of many numbers”.
Hyppolytus of Rome (170-236 AD) devoted nine-and-half chapters to the Essenes and only one to the Sadducees. The Essenes are the authors of the famous Dead Sea Scrolls, which were discovered in 1947 in Israel at a place called Qumran and which have given us even greater insight into the happenings in the first century than the Bible itself.
How did the Essene movement come about, General? The Essenes, meaning “puritans of the faith”, were the Jewish sect that was the most loyal to the Davidic dynasty. They set themselves apart from the mainstream Jewish community circa 175 BC and established their headquarters at Qumran, about 40 km from Jerusalem.
Since the Jewish nation revered the Davidic royal line, the only legitimate and rightful rulers of Judah in their view, they rallied to the Essenes en masse. And because the Essenes were disparaging of the Hasmonean rule (140 BC to 63 BC), the mainstream Jews also took a dismissive view of Hasmonean rule too.
The Essenes were so highly regarded because of their virtue and spirituality. The legendary Jewish historian Flavius Josephus (37-100 AD) writes thus of them: “They are more mutually affectionate than the others (Pharisees and Sadducees). Whereas these men shun the pleasures as vice, they consider self-control and not succumbing to the passions virtue … Since [they are] despisers of wealth – their communal stock is astonishing – one cannot find a person among them who has more in terms of possessions.
For by a law, those coming into the school (that is, the Essene fold) must yield up their funds to the order, with the result that in all [their ranks] neither the humiliation of poverty nor the superiority of wealth is detectable, but the assets of each one have been mixed in together, as if they were brothers, to create one fund for all.”
In time, the Essenes, General, became quite influential even with occupying powers. For instance, when the Greek General Pompey installed Hyrcanus II as ruler of Palestine in 63 BC, he sought the opinion of the Essenes. The Essenes recommended that Hyrcanus go by the titles High Priest and Prince, not King, to which Pompey paid heed. In 142 BC, when Simon was installed by the Seleucids as ruler of Palestine, the Essenes had insisted on the same titular style. To the Essenes, everybody who occupied Israel’s seat of authority was simply holding fort for the real deal – the Davidic King.
In 37 BC, when Herod became King of Palestine, the potential Davidic King was Jacob-Eliakim – the father of the Joseph of the gospels – who was an Essene himself. It was in order to win the blessings of the historically popular Jewish royal family that Herod sought to curry favour with the Essenes.
JACOB’S PACT WITH HEROD
About the time Herod came to power, General, there were three citizens of considerable stature in Palestine – Hillel, Menahem, and Jacob-Eliakim, the grandfather of Jesus. Hillel is by all accounts ancient Israel’s greatest teacher and scholar.
He was the foremost spiritual sage in the development of the Talmud and the Mishnah, the most authoritative religious references of the Jews which are second only to the Old Testament in esteem. The renowned “Golden Rule”, which is invariably attributed to Jesus, was actually coined by Hillel. It is not certain whether Hillel was an Essene but his teachings did have a profound influence both on Essene philosophy and that of Jesus, who was an Essene too.
It was Menahem, however, who was an incontrovertible Essene. The Essenes were of two main branches, General. First, there were the puritans, the Palestinian Essenes. Then there were the liberals, the Diaspora Essenes, who sneered at the Palestinian Essenes’ dogmatism and rather strict views on morality. Menahem was the leader of the Diaspora Essenes.
He was also privilleged to be advisor to King Herod. Herod did hold Menahem in very high regard. Josephus relates that when Herod was a school-going lad, Menahem had patted him on his back and said to him, “one day you will be King young man.” Since the prophecy came to pass, Herod had a certain, atypical respect both for Menahem and the order of Essenes.
Jacob-Eliakim’s significance was by virtue of his pedigree. He was of the royal line of David and was therefore the uncrowned King of the Jews. Now, as we have already indicated, Herod had his own grand designs about rulership of the world notwithstanding the fact that he was in reality a vassal of Rome.
When he made overtures to the trio, they didn’t mince words: they told him that in the new Israel, the Israel that would rule Earth once the Romans had been toppled from the pedestal of world power, it was a Davidic King who would reign. Herod took very strong exception to such a prospect. Herod was neither a full-blooded Jew nor of Davidic stock but he was royalty in his own right.
His father, Antipater, had been the governor of Idumea and in due course Judea in the Hasmonean government and was in fact the real ruler of the entire Palestine, with John Hyrcanus being a mere figurehead king. When he (Herod) was only 25 years old, his father had appointed him governor of Galilee. Herod thus had strutted the corridors of power from the day he was born and he wasn’t going to give that up easily either for his own sake or that of his descendants.
As such, General, Herod maintained to the trio that in the new, overarching Kingdom of Israel, he was going to be the emperor and would be based in Jerusalem. Just like the Greek empire of Alexander had been a triarchy (a kingdom divided into three governments), the global Kingdom of Israel (“Thy Kingdom Come” in the Lord’s Prayer) was going to be likewise.
There was going to be a ruler in the east, a ruler in the west, and a ruler in the centre, that is Jerusalem, under the oversight of Herod himself. Hillel would rule in Jerusalem; Menahem in the east; and Jacob-Eliakim in the west. If these three happened to have disappeared from the Earthly scene by the time the Kingdom of Israel came into being, their descendants would observe the same setup.
The pecking order would thus be like this: Herod as the emperor; Hillel as the senior king; Menahem as the second-ranked king; and Jacob-Eliakim as the junior king. Put differently, Herod had by the stroke of a pen reduced the Davidic dynasty from foremost to least important as it posed the most serious threat to his office. Meanwhile, the three kings-in-waiting would go by the names of the Old Testament patriarchs.
Hillel would henceforth be called the Abraham, or the Father (or Papa, which later morphed into Pope), since Abraham was the Father of the Jewish nation; Menahem would be called the Isaac (Abraham’s son); and Eliakim the Jacob (Isaac’s son). Half a loaf was better than nothing at all and so Jacob-Eliakim meekly accepted this arrangement.
When Jesus later said, “Many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the new Kingdom of Heaven (MATTHEW 8:11),” he did not mean an afterlife kingdom: he referred to the Earthly setup proposed by King Herod.
FALLOUT WITH ESSENES
Those days, General, the Davidic heir used the title “Jacob” rather than “David” as the latter title was very risky, particularly under the Hasmonean government. Given that Joseph was the most beloved son of the Old Testament Jacob, the next in line, that is, the firstborn son of the Jacob, used the title “Joseph”.
In September 44 BC, a son was born to Jacob-Eliakim. As the crown prince to the Jacob, he was given the titular name Joseph, the name by which he became best-known. Like his father Jacob-Eliakim, Joseph was a missionary. But he also had a trade. He was a carpenter, a boat builder primarily, and a master of his craft. The word translated “carpenter” in the Bible is the ancient Greek word “ho hekton” which means a master artisan or craftsman.
In 31 BC, Qumran, the Essenes’ Judean wilderness bastion, was struck by an earthquake. The hermitic Essenes had no choice but to trek back to Jerusalem, from where they operated indefinitely at a place they called the Essene Gate. Then in 23 BC, Herod struck again. He had Jacob-Eliakim killed on trumped-up charges of sedition, his motive simply being a continuation of a systematic purge of the Davidic “pretenders” to his throne.
The Essenes were wroth. They now set about promulgating to the Diaspora Essenes that Herod would have no part to play in the coming Kingdom. Instead, the overall King would be Joseph, the son of Jacob-Eliakim. This, General, was the beginning of a permanent rift between Herod and the Essene sect.
THE SAGA OF JOSEPH
The prospective global world, General, was subdivided into ten provinces to facilitate governance and tax collection. Palestine would have two provinces, Judea and Samaria, the latter of which would include Galilee. Asia Minor (largely present-day Turkey), where the bulk of Diaspora Jews were concentrated, would have five provinces.
The last three provinces would be Babylon, Rome, and Alexandria in Egypt. The future capital of the West was not Rome: it was Ephesus in Asia Minor. Having been allocated the West, it was in Ephesus and Alexandria that Jacob-Eliakim spent most of his time evangelizing to fellow Jews about the future Kingdom of Israel. This was the beginning of the New Covenant, whereby Jews who converted to the ideal of a new Kingdom of Israel were baptised by immersion in water.
To mainstream Palestinian Jews, General, Jacob-Eliakim was a sellout. Herod had demoted his pedigree but to somewhat placate him, he gave him the honorary title of Patriarch or Prince of Jerusalem. By subordinating the Davidic throne-in-waiting to Herod, Jacob-Eliakim had gone against what the nation of Israel’s God, Enlil, the Bible’s main Jehovah, decreed – that every King of Judah had to be a descendant of David. So when the unpredictable Herod had him killed in 23 BC for “sedition”, as part of a pogrom against the line of David, there was very little sympathy for him.
In 44 BC, Joseph had been born to Jacob-Eliakim. Joseph was a title: it was not his real name. At the death of his father, Joseph became the Jacob. However, he preferred the title “David”, the more apt one historically. Joseph would become the father of Jesus. When Joseph attained 30 years of age in 14 BC, his uncles and the Essene sages sent him to Rome and Alexandria to do his part in missionary work, which was simply about promulgating to the Diaspora Jews the future Kingdom of Israel in which a Son of David, that is a descendant of King David, would rule. Egypt was also a special place because Joseph’s maternal relations were Egyptians.
Jacob-Eliakim, General, had two wives. The one was called Euchariah, a Jewish princess, of whom very little is known, and the other, the dynastic wife, was an Egyptian princess, a daughter of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt and Julius Caesar. Jacob-Eliakim and this princess had three sons: they were Joseph, the father of Jesus, and the twins Cleopas (after whom James, Jesus’ immediate younger brother, whose given name was Cleopas, was named) and Ptolas. Joseph was thus the Davidian Prince of Israel as well as contender to Crown Prince of Egypt. Despite pretences to the contrary on the part of the Jews, Egypt and Israel have always had ties of monarchical kinship.
In 8 BC, General, Joseph was required by Essene custom to return home and fulfill his obligations for a dynastic marriage. A wife-to-be had already been chosen for him by his uncles and other patriarchal Essenes. This was Dorcas, better known today by her title name Mary.