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Enlil Rapes Virgin!

Benson C Saili

THIS EARTH, MY BROTHER

Earth’s superintending god plies a young medical officer with an intoxicating beverage and forces himself on her

About 400,000 years ago, Ninmah touched down on Earth with 29 other female Anunnaki medics. Ninmah was King Anu’s eldest and smartest daughter. As a medical savant, she was unsurpassed by the Anunnaki womenfolk and of the Anunnaki menfolk, only Enki and his son Ningishzidda were her match.   A ravishing beauty and a highly accomplished biomedical researcher, Ninmah had been the head of life sciences on Nibiru.

Ninmah, who was Enlil’s half-sister and Enki’s step sister, had been dispatched to Earth by King Anu, “Our Father Who Art In Heaven”, for several reasons. She was to oversee medical and health matters for the Anunnaki, the seeding of medicinal and health-enhancing plants (whose seeds and DNA she had brought with her), and the adaptation of domesticated animals (again which she had carried along with her from Nibiru) to Earth’s environment.  Agriculture and farming on our planet was to be jumpstarted from the specimens she had brought. 

When the Anunnaki arrived on Earth, their circadian rhythm was inevitably disturbed because of Earth’s rotational patterns that were way different from those of planet Nibiru. A circadian rhythm is a roughly 24-hour cycle in

the physiological processes of living beings, including plants, animals, fungi and bacteria which primarily respond to light and darkness.  Since Nibiru’s circadian rhythm, gravitational force, and duration of day were different from those of Earth, the Anunnaki  suffered from chronic indispositions such as headaches and sight-related problems on the much quicker (rotation-wise) and brighter  (in terms of sunlight) planet. Nibiru, about four to nine times larger than Earth, had a 36-hour-day and a much stronger force of gravity. Ninmah’s other brief therefore was to help address the physiological problems brought about by Earth’s peculiar physics.

Ninmah also brought with her what was called the Elixir of Life, or Food of Life. The Anunnaki had noticed that here on Earth, they aged much faster than they did on Nibiru and that their children who were born on Earth aged even much more rapidly.  The Elixir of Life was intended to considerably slow the aging process though not exactly align it with that of Nibiru. It was typically consumed along with the Water of Life.  The seeds of the drug flourished in a cool climate.

Ninmah was ecstatically welcomed to Eridu, the Anunnaki’s iconic settlement on Earth, by Enlil and Enki and the rest of the already Earth-based Heroes. The exhilaration was specially heightened by the presence now on Earth of female Anunnaki for the first time since the first Anunnaki landing in over 30,000 years.  

In a closed mission-debriefing session with her two brothers, Ninmah recounted her journey and what transpired on Mars. She reported that Alalu had died and a commemorative, permanent memorial to him was already in place in the form of a mountain sculpture. She also made mention of her restoration to life of Anzu and of the 20 men who had remained along  with him with a view to setting up a way station for Nibiru and Earth-bound gold freighters. 

The death of Alalu touched Enki. Otherwise,   he was happy and content with all that had transpired on Mars. On the other hand, Enlil, a hard-hearted, power-obsessed type, was indignant: he demanded to know under whose authority Alalu had been so honoured and Anzu had been entrusted charge of Mars activities.   Ninmah set him at ease when she told him everything was done at the say-so of King Anu and that Anzu was actually subordinate to both he and Enki.

YAHWEH DOGGED BY SEXUAL STRESS

Since their arrival on Earth, the Anunnaki had until now been wholly deprived of female company. For as long as they were still prospecting for gold, they were not allowed to return to Nibiru. Particularly sexually stressed were the Heroes in Enki’s pioneer landing party, who had had no conjugal indulgencies for 32,400 years (equivalent to 9 years, or shars, in Nibiru terms).  It is not stretching the imagination to  suppose that some of the  Anunnaki folk were compelled to resort to unnatural sexual practices and that is  how the homosexual and bestiality genes were triggered, which genes continue to haunt some members of the human race today. (Tendencies are not only inherited: they can also be acquired, genetically embedded, and then passed on to offspring).  Even Enlil, who was not that worse for wear having being on Earth for only two shars, was bursting with libidinous fever. It goes without saying that his half-sister Ninmah seemed a godsend. After all, he already had a son with her, Ninurta, who was born on Nibiru.  

Why were the Anunnaki so predisposed to marrying or at the very least bear children with their half-sisters (same father but different mothers)? In the society of today here on Earth, such a course of action would be denounced as outright incest in any culture and even criminalised. Yet the Anunnaki succession code gave preference to a son by a half-sister rather than somebody wholly unrelated.    It was a son born of a half-brother and half-sister who became the heir, not necessarily the firstborn son overall. This same code was followed in antiquity here on Earth – by both the Sumerians and the biblical patriarchs. Abraham, for instance, was married to half-sister Sarah and Moses was married to half-sister Mirriam according to pre-biblical sources. Ishmael, Abraham’s son, was 13 years older than Isaac but the right of succession passed to Isaac because Isaac was born to Sarah, Abraham’s half-sister spouse.     

It turns out the Anunnaki knew something modern science has yet to discover. In 1980, Washington University scientists found that given a choice, female monkeys preferred to mate with half-brothers – those with whom they had the same father but different mothers. And in the December 1988 edition of Discover magazine, a featured study showed that male wasps ordinarily mated with their sisters, with the preferential mating being with half-sisters.

In order to make it easier to get into Ninmah’s pants, Enlil bragged up the Cedar Mountains, the setting of his abode, as the ideal environment for propagation of the Elixir of Life and forthwith assigned her there. But Enki, who had his own ulterior motives too, prevailed upon Ninmah to alternate her tours of duty between the Cedar Mountains and Eridu on the one hand and the Abzu on the other as that was what was expected of the Chief Medical Officer

At his Abode of the North Crest in the Cedar Mountains, a lust-ridden Enlil wasted no time in making  coital moves on Ninmah. “Enlil embraced her, with fervour he kissed Ninmah,” Enki records. “Oh my sister, my  beloved Enlil to her he whispered. By her loins he grabbed her.” But Ninmah had no inclination whatsoever for renewed intimate relations with Enlil after King Anu had cursed her for having a child with him (Enlil) at the expense of Enki, who he desired Ninmah to marry. A gallant Enlil tried all manner  of ways to seduce his sister. For instance, he revealed to her  that one of the six new cities  he was about to establish in the Edin would be directly governed by her. All this sweet talk did not wash, however. “Into her womb his semen he did not pour,”   regrets Enki.  

YAHWEH  IS EXILED

Now, nature is simply nature. Enlil was pressed for conjugation, especially that now he was frequently rubbing shoulders with female freshbloods who formed the medical team assigned to Eridu and the Cedar Mountains. It happened one summer that as he took a walk in the cedar forest “in the cool of the day” as was his habit, he chanced upon young female Anunnaki splashing about in a stream stark naked. The spectacle got a rise out of  him and he decided it was time he pounced and relieved himself of the overpowering sexual stress.     

“In a cool mountain stream, some of Ninmah’s young ones, to the  Landing Place (the Anunnaki terrestrial airport)  assigned, were bathing,” relates Enki. “By the beauty and grace of one, Sud was her name, Enlil was enchanted. To his cedar wood abode Enlil invited. Come, partake with me in the Elixir of Nibiru’s fruit that grow here so to her he said. Sud into Enlil’s abode he entered, the Elixir in a cup to her Enlil presented. Sud drank, Enlil drank too.”

Enki reports that as Sud, who was Ninmah’s young but highly promising deputy, gradually became tipsy, Enlil began to force his mouth on hers amid her protestations to the effect that she was a virgin  who “knows not copulation” and therefore did not wish to indulge in sexual relations with him. Enlil paid no heed: “His semen  into her womb he poured,”  Enki records, this time accomplishing what he had failed to do to his sister. A tearful, bloodied and stumbling Sud went straight to Ninmah to report the abomination.

Now, one good think about the Anunnaki was that their sense of  justice knew no sacred cows: everybody, be it Enki or Enlil, was subject to the rule of the land. Yes, the Anunnaki had a very flexible moral code but forced sex was anathema.  “Enlil, immoral one, for  your deed judgement you shall face!” a shocked and furious Ninmah thundered in her brother’s face.

Enlil was indicted and tried before the Seven Who Judge and before an audience of 50 Anunnaki, with Ninmah as the case prosecutor. Justice was expeditiously dispensed: the most powerful man on Earth pleaded guilty as charged with a view to a less severe sentence.  Sadly, the crime was so heinous the planet’s Commander-in-Chief was slapped the maximum penalty: he was sentenced to permanent exile to a “Land of No Return”, somewhere in the wilderness of  the Abzu, that is, Africa. The sentence was effected on the spot. Enlil was bundled onto a “sky chamber”   and assigned pilot Abgal, who was the most familiar with the African terrain, to ferry him to his penal colony.

“In the sky chamber  the two of them journeyed, to another land was their direction,” writes Enki. “There, amidst forbidding mountains, at a place of desolation, Abgal the sky chamber landed. This your place of exile shall be Abgal to Enlil was saying.” 

Meanwhile, Enki was to act as Earth’s Chief Executive pending formal confirmation from King Anu on Nibiru (this was before Ninurta vanquished Kumarbi, the “Evil Zu”, and was conferred Rank  50, which made him heir to Enlil).  Yet the good-natured Enki was by no means overjoyed: he felt for his step brother and had never intended to gain Earth’s supremacy simply by default.

Turncoats – people who betray trusts by switching loyalties on the spur of the moment – are not a rarity in life. Their treachery seldom springs from sympathy or empathy: often,  it is driven by the temptation to gain an advantage, to curry certain favours. Such  was Abgal.

Remember the seven nuclear weapons that were surplus to requirements during Alalu’s mission to Earth, when he had to blast his way through the dreaded Asteroid Belt? The weapons were stashed away in a secret location at the prompting of Enki, who feared that some unscrupulous fella could be tempted to employ them and wreak havoc on Earth. It was Enki himself, accompanied by his trusted aide Abgal, who took the trouble to conceal these weapons of  mass destruction. If only he  knew Abgal had a Judas streak behind his duteous and fawning façade. 

Abgal headed straight to the site in the Abzu where  the weapons were hidden and no sooner had his sky chamber   landed than he decided to ingratiate himself with Enlil.

“This your place of exile shall be,” he said to Enlil according to Enki’s documented reminiscences. “Not perchance have I it chosen. A secret of Enki in it is hidden. In the nearby cave Enki seven weapons of terror has hidden: from Alalu’s Celestial Chariot he had them removed. Take the weapons into your possession, with the weapons your freedom attain!” 

Abgal then left Enlil to consider his options with a view,  obviously, to making a clandestine return and possibly assist Enlil in launching his emancipatory blitz against Enki and company. Would Enlil indeed have gone to such lengths to secure his freedom? Would he have done an Alalu – attempt to blackmail his way back to his august perch as Earth’s Commander-in-Chief  by brandishing a nuclear-tipped missile? We will never know and need not know as the situation did not attain to such a fevered  point. The redeeming factor was none other than the victim of Enlil’s turpitude herself.

ENKI EXERCISES PREROGATIVE OF MERCY

Not long after Enlil’s banishment, Sud approached Ninmah and tearfully announced that she was actually pregnant and that she was prepared to make bygones be bygones and forgive Enlil for the sake of their child. Such was her desire for the child to grow up under its father that she was prepared to go and be with Enlil in his place of exile.  Was it possible for her wish to be granted?      

Ninmah replied that the decision did not rest with her but with Enki as the planet’s acting Commander-in-Chief.  Ninmah accordingly contacted Enki at his Eridu  residence to sound him out on Sud’s plea. Enki said he was prepared to allow Sud to join Enlil in the Abzu  but Enlil had to give consent first. Soon Abgal was on his way to the Abzu to deliver Enki’s message. On his return, Abgal reported that Enlil had sympathy for Sud’s pregnancy and indeed wanted to be with her so mother and father could jointly welcome the child into the world. Nevertheless, Enlil wished to do this as a free man, not as a prisoner in the thick of the African jungle. Consequently, he appealed to his step brother for the Prerogative of Mercy. 

The naturally considerate soul that was Enki did not wrestle with his conscience. He told Abgal in the presence of Ninmah and Sud that he was prepared to pardon his brother subject to one strong precondition – that he declares his readiness to tie the knot with Sud. But in the event that Enlil indeed got his pardon, in what capacity would he be returning to the leadership fold? This question was posed by Abgal and it was very pertinent indeed considering that Enki was the acting Head of Earth and only awaited the green light from Nibiru King Anu to be confirmed in his office, whereas Enlil had fallen headlong from grace possibly for good. 

Yet Enki was far from being besotted with   power. Yes, he had been done many injustices in the past that had snatched away the crowning glory when it was just within sniffing distance but he still had no axes to grind and no scores to settle such was his natural equanimity. So Enki pronounced that he was going to voluntarily  step aside and have Enlil reinstated as Commander-in-Chief. There was a catch though: Enlil would operate in an acting capacity, albeit with full powers, till he had sired at least one more child with Sud. Enki imposed this qualification because he wanted tangible evidence that Enlil now genuinely loved Sud and was not up to using her simply as a means to regain his freedom.

The next time Abgal returned from the Abzu, he was accompanied by a chastened Enlil, fully yielded as he was to the terms of Enki’s Prerogative of Mercy, which he did not find exacting as he did not voice the merest protest.  He embraced with his step brother and  half-sister and lavished Sud with gestures of impassioned affection. There was no doubt he intended a lasting union with the eye-poppingly beautiful nurse. 

NEXT WEEK:  WILDCAT STRIKE IN AFRICA

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A “Virgin” Conceives

2nd March 2021
IT’S THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS, STUPID

Princess Mary falls pregnant only one month after her betrothal to Prince Joseph

To put the lineage of Mary the mother of Jesus in context, General Atiku, it is in order that we begin with her grandfather Yehoshua  (Jesus in Greek) III.

Mary was offspring of two royal lines, the Davidic line and the Hasmonean line. Yehoshua III was the Herod–appointed High Priest of Israel between 36 and 23 BC.  He had no sons, only three daughters namely Joanna, Elizabeth, and Anna, all of whom he organised dynastic suitors.

Elizabeth would be married off into the House of Aaron, the legitimate priestly line, and Joanna and Anna would be married off into the House of David, the legitimate kingly line. That’s how Elizabeth became the wife of Zechariah of the tribe of Levi and in due course the mother of John the Baptist.

Mainstream Israel up to the level of the Sanhedrin had recognised Anna as the eligible mother of the future King of Israel and not the sitting impostor Herod (it is not clear what happened to first-born Joanna but she probably passed away before she got married). Anna was accordingly married off to Alexander III, a Davidic and Hasmonean prince who was best known as Heli as indeed the genealogy of Luke clearly attests.

Heli and Anna too had no sons. They only had daughters, the firstborn of whom was Dorcas, whose was born in 26 BC and whose titular name was Mary.  Mary was orphaned early in her childhood when her father Heli was killed in 17 BC at the orders of the increasingly paranoid Herod and when her mother Anna died a year or so later.

Since she was a dynastic heiress, it was likely that Herod would come after her. The Essenes thus secreted her somewhere in remote Galilee. It was actually in Galilee that most members of the Davidic royal line were concentrated not only to keep as far away from Herod as possible but to also enjoy the protective custody of the Zealots, who were the secret military wing of the Essenes and a thorn in the side of both Herod and the Romans.  Joseph was also officially based in Galilee although both he and Mary were in truth based at Qumran in the Judean wilds.

JOSEPH CALLED TO “DUTY”

Dynastic marriages are often more politically strategic than spontaneous, General. For example, the union of Prince Charles and Princess Diana was motivated by the need to fuse the Windsor genes with those of the Stuarts as the Windsors, being predominantly Reptilians, were finding it increasingly difficult to maintain their human form.

The Stuarts, the clan of Diana, had by far more human genes than Reptilian and they too were an aristocratic family. That’s why once Charles had produced a  “heir and a spare”, he completely sidelined Diana, who he had never loved, and devoted himself to his real love – Camilla Parker-Bowles.

The marriage of Joseph to Mary, General, was equally strategic. Although both were from the tribe of Judah and of the royal Davidic line, they were from different branches.  Joseph was a descendant of Solomon, whereas Mary was a descendant of Nathan, Solomon’s elder brother. The line of Solomon, as we once underlined, had been tainted by the Jeconiah curse.

The line of Nathan was clean. Since the son of Joseph and Mary would be the future King of Israel, it was important that he not be compromised by the baggage, rightly or wrongly, of the Jeconiah curse. Hence the desirability of the union of Prince Joseph and Princess Mary.

Now, both Joseph and Mary’s clans were Essenes. As such, their marriage process, formalities, and protocols had to strictly adhere to Essene dynastic rules. The Essenes were in ranks. Amongst the higher echelons were the two great dynasties, the Davids and the Zadoks, who had been the high priests and kings of Israel respectively before the destruction of the Temple by Nebuchadnezzar in 586 BC.

The Davids and Zadoks lived a strictly holy life, typically in a monastery at Qumran, the reclusive headquarters of the Essenes. They were sequestered there so that they did not fall prey to the machinations of the bloodthirsty King Herod though officially their address was Galilee.  In fact, the major reason the Essene movement had come into existence was to preserve and safeguard the Davidic and Zadokite lines, the religio-politico haunt of Herod and the Hasmoneans initially.

According to the Essene code, General, the Zadoks and the Davids were not to engage in sex for recreational purposes because it was regarded as defiling: it diluted holiness. The only times they were supposed to do so was when need arose to produce heirs. In 8 BC, it was now opportune for Joseph, the David, to produce a heir and so he was excused from a life of chastity.

At this point in time in fact, the Essenes were focused on two dynastic figures. These were Joseph and Zechariah. The two were expected to produce the Messiah of David and the Messiah of Aaron, that is, the future King of Israel and the future High Priest of Israel.

According to Essene rules, the David had to marry at age 36, so that by the time he was 40, he had already sired a heir. The new heir had to be born when the David was 37. If the child was a daughter, she could not inherit, and so the David had to set about the procreation of a second-born, who hopefully would be a boy (copulation to that end was allowed only when the daughter was 3 years old).

The Davidic heir had to be born not in any other month but in September, the holiest in the Jewish calendar. In order to conform to these parameters, a betrothal ceremony was held at the beginning of June. During the betrothal period – the three months from beginning of June to end of August – sexual relations were not permitted.

Then at the beginning of September, a First Marriage was held. This was the beginning of the marriage proper as now the couple were allowed to become intimate. However, the intimacy began only in December, with a view to delivering a heir in September the following year. At the end of March, the Second Marriage was held for it was hoped that by that time the spouse was three months pregnant if there hadn’t been a miscarriage. With the Second Marriage, the wedlock was permanent: divorce was never allowed whatsoever.

Meanwhile, General, if the spouse hadn’t conceived in December, sexual relations were suspended till December the following year. The husband would then leave her spouse and return either to the monastery at Qumran or embark on a tour of duty elsewhere in furtherance of the Essene cause.

A BINDING ENGAGEMENT

According to the Dead Sea Scrolls, General, the Essenes were not only a spiritual, revolutionary, and philosophical movement. They were also ardent believers in astrology. They meticulously studied the stars and the movements of planets to read what they portended about the future.

Thus the reason a Davidic heir had to be born in September was not only because this was the holiest month of the year: it was also in recognition of the fact that September was ruled by the constellation Virgo. In other words, September was astrologically the month of the virgin. That was what Mary was.

Mary was both a virgin physically and a virgin titularly. A bride of the future king was required to be a virgin. As an Essene, Mary belonged to the Order (not the tribe) of Dan.  This was the Order of Nuns, or virgins, both legal and physical virgins. Thus in the Order of Dan, a woman was not a virgin only before she slept with a man: she was a virgin until she was six months pregnant. In the case of a dynastic spouse like Mary, this was up to end of June.  From then henceforth, she was promoted within the Order to the first stage of a Mother.

Joseph’s betrothal to Mary took place at Qumran in June 8 BC. Now, in our day, betrothal simply means engagement to be married. In ancient Israel up to New Testament times, betrothal was part and parcel of the marriage contract. It was definite and binding upon both groom and bride, who were considered as man and wife in all legal and religious aspects, except that sexual relations were not permitted.

For example, in 2 SAMUEL 3:14, King David refers to his betrothed woman as “my wife”. Also in DEUTERONOMY 22:24, a betrothed woman is referred to as “his neighbour’s wife”.  In the betrothal formalities, dowry and bride price were included. If a bride and groom for one reason or the other wanted to opt out of the betrothal after the betrothal ceremony, they had to seek a formal divorce.

Since the betrothal took place in June, General, Joseph and Mary were not supposed to make love till December, that is, six months after the betrothal ceremony and three months after the First Marriage ceremony in September. Just one month after the betrothal ceremony (that is, at the beginning of July 8 BC), however, Mary became pregnant. Was it Joseph, General? Was it rape by a Roman soldier called Panthera as some contemporary records suggest? Or was it simply the supernatural act of the “Holy Spirit” as Christendom holds?

THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS

Those who hold that the circumstances of Mary’s pregnancy were supernatural, General, can be excused. This is because the language employed therein smacks of ethereality – Holy Spirit, Angel Gabriel, Son of the Most High, etc. To those who have read and rigorously studied the Dead Sea Scrolls, however, such terminology is well within the temporal context.

That is to say, it does not carry spiritual connotations as such. True, the idea of an angel speaking to Joseph and Mary in their sleep may seem supernatural but the dreams are theological interpolations, inserted into the gospels in onward editing to fit a contrived agenda – what Karl Marx called the opium of the masses.

The Dead Sea Scrolls are so named because they were discovered in caves around the Qumran plateau of the West Bank (about 40 km east of Jerusalem), at the northwest corner of the Dead Sea, in March 1947. The discoverer was a Bedouin shepherd kid who was looking for a lost goat. The scrolls were found hidden in jars.

The 1947 find was the initial discovery: more discoveries were made after further excavations on the same site spanning 11 years in a series of 11 caves. Altogether, 972 texts were   turned up. They are written in four languages, namely Hebrew (the majority), Aramaic, Greek, and Nabatean, mostly on parchment. Other texts were inscribed on papyrus and bronze.

Most of the Dead Sea Scrolls are fragments. Fragments of all the Old Testament books have been found save for the book of Esther. The only complete book is Isaiah.  There are also apocryphal books (those arbitrarily excluded from the Old Testament canon by the Constantine-convened Nicene Council of AD 325) such as the Book of Enoch and the Book of Jubilees, and sect-specific writings that embody rules and beliefs of the people who compiled them.

The latter include commentaries on the Old Testament, paraphrases that expand on the Law of Moses, rule books of the community, war conduct, thanksgiving psalms, hymnic compositions, benedictions, liturgical texts, and sapiential (wisdom) writing. These texts have been given appropriate titles such as the War Scroll; Manual of Discipline; the Community Rule; the Temple Scroll; the Copper Scroll; etc.

The Dead Sea Scrolls were written/preserved by the Essenes between 168 BC and 68 AD. We know this because Pliny, the first century Roman historian, wrote that, “On the west coast of Lake Asphaltitis (the Dead Sea) are settled the Essenes, at some distance from the noisome odours that are experienced on the shore itself.

They are a lonely people, the most extraordinary in the world, who live without women, without love, without money, with the palm trees for their only companions.”   The Essenes stashed away the scrolls sometime in 70 AD, when Roman General Flavius Titus overran Jerusalem and laid waste to the Temple following a catastrophic Jewish uprising – led by the Zealots, the military wing of the Essenes – that began in 66 BC.

This they did in heed of JEREMIAH 32:14, which says, “Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; Take these evidences … and put them in an earthen vessel, that they may continue many days.” The Dead Sea Scrolls have given us invaluable insight into the beliefs, customs, rituals, politics, philosophies, and traditions of first century Palestine.

NEXT WEEK: THE PANTERA INVOLVEMENT

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A crash course in publicity

2nd March 2021

The rivalry between luxury German automotive marques Mercedes-Benz and BMW is legendary. Both brands offer high-end, high-priced desirable models, always at the forefront of cutting-edge driving technology and excellence. And in the annals of the advertising world, a campaign between the two rivals is equally legendary and it happened on our own doorstep.

Many of you will be familiar with the coastal road out of Cape Town called Chapman’s Peak. It is a beautiful, sightseeing attraction, the road winding through spectacular coastal-mountain scenery, with cliffs sinking into the  Atlantic ocean on one side, and steep mountains towering over the road on the other. However, the road is also notoriously dangerous, with its 114 sharp, meandering bends . It’s reputation is well-deserved . Several years ago, when a major coastal cleanup campaign was launched, a helicopter pulled a total of 22 wrecked cars out of the water adjacent to Chapman’s Peak and it was one such accident which prefaced the notorious marketing battle. The story is thus:

In 1988 an Irish businessman lost control of his Mercedes Benz when driving along this road, plunging 100 metres down the cliff. Miraculously, he not only survived the accident, but crawled out of the wreckage with hardly a scratch on his body.

When Mercedes heard the details, the marketing department decided to base a new advertisement on the story to promote the safety features and stability of the brand. In the video ad they intentionally drove an identical model off the road in the exact same location, having it plunge off the edge of the cliff, the driver stepping out similarly unscathed, proving the phenomenal survivability and strength of Mercedes Benz.

When the marketing suits at BMW saw this ad, they took a bold and ingenious decision to mimic it but with a twist. Only a week later, whilst the first ad was still fresh in the public’s minds, they shot their ad showing a BMW driving along the exact same stretch of road in the rain. However, when it reached the point at which the Mercedes plunged off the cliff, the BMW negotiated it safely, and continued driving along the road.

The catchphrase of the ad was “BMW beats the bends” . Or was it? It was cunningly recorded so that it could equally have been ‘beats the Benz’, implying that their cars had superior cornering and stability to their rival, Even more sneakily, they launched their campaign on a Saturday, mindful of the rules on competitive advertising in South Africa, safe in the knowledge that no objectionable actions could be taken till the new working week.

Mercedes-Benz wasted no time on Monday in issuing an injunction, the ad was swiftly pulled but the damage was done and the dog had had its day. The ad campaign ranks high in the history of advertising and can still be found online to this day. Meanwhile the rivalry between the two automotive greats goes on.

I reference this piece of marketing history in the light of this week’s horror crash by golfing great, Tiger Woods. Driving from a luxury holiday resort in California to a nearby country club Tiger Woods lost control of his vehicle on a downhill stretch of the road, smashed through a road sign, crossed over the central reservation and rolled his car several hundred feet. He had to be cut out and pulled to safety through the windscreen and the vehicle was so badly damaged, the attending police officers said he was ‘lucky to survive’.

The vehicle Woods was driving was a rented Genesis GV80 SUV. If you are unfamiliar with the brand that is not surprising since it is a relatively new spin-off from the South Korean Hyundai marque. The Genesis utility vehicle, not available locally yet, retails for around $50,000 or half a million pula, placing it in the higher end of town and country SUVs in the USA.

The model has certainly been widely publicised in the media coverage of the high-profile sportsman’s accident and I suspect that if asked to comment, Hyundai/Genesis would disagree with the police assessment, putting Woods’ survival down to build quality and in-built safety features such as crumple zones, anti-roll bars and airbags, which were deployed in the crash and would most certainly have played their part cushioning the effects of the rolling and ultimate impact. There is , of course, no suggestion that the manufacturers will capitalise on Woods’ survival but certainly it will have done the brand no harm that he did indeed emerge with recoverable injuries.

Comparing the two accidents, the driver of the Mercedes driving along Chapman’s Peak was, of course, an ordinary member of the public whilst Tiger Woods is a household name. That said, in humanitarian terms each tale of survival carries equal weight but the fact remains that the former was just another local story of yet one more victim of a notoriously tricky stretch of road whilst the latter went round the world in an instant because of the fame and name of the driver.

There is also no evidence that that stretch of Californian urban highway carried any inherent risk. His appears to have been just a loss of control and a freak accident. However, in the event that Hyundai/Genesis should consider making capital from that accident, a note of caution needs to be sounded.

In the advertising world, the use of celebrities to promote a product is a fall-back stance to sell anything from washing-up liquid to whisky but statistics have shown that it can be a double-edged sword in that yes, the ads are memorable and the public love them when the celeb is popular and personable. But…..what is often remembered is the name of the famous promoter, not the name of the product. In other words, they sell themselves far better than they sell the item.

In golfing terminology Hyundai/Genesis are not ‘out of the Woods’ yet and maybe they should go with a completely different Driver!

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Pact with the Devil

2nd March 2021
THE LORD’S GREAT GRANDMOTHER

How Jesus’s grandfather sold his birthright to megalomaniac Herod

If you were to ask a Christian to name the main Jewish sects, General Atiku, he would no doubt begin with the Pharisees (because Jesus had innumerable slanging matches with  them according to the gospels), followed by the Sadducees.  Yet there was a third, equally momentous sect – the Essenes.

Although there’s not a single, one mention of the Essenes in the Bible, General, the New Testament is filled with Essene-type language as anybody who has read the Dead Sea Scrolls would readily recognise.

In point of fact, it was the Essenes who produced Jesus as well as the infamous Jewish band of freedom fighters known as the Zealots. Furthermore, almost all the New Testament writers were either Essenes or champions of the Essene cause as is apparent in their language and the drift of their overall philosophy.   The Essenes have a palpable presence in the Bible, albeit a cloaked one.

The Essenes, General, were the most popular, the most esteemed, and the most influential of the Jewish sects. The Jewish historian Philo (20 BC-50 AD) devotes 90 percent of his description of the Jewish sects to the Essenes. He wrote that the Essenes  “dwell in many cities of Judea and in many villages and in great societies of many numbers”.

Hyppolytus of Rome (170-236 AD) devoted nine-and-half chapters to the Essenes and only one to the Sadducees.     The Essenes are the authors of the famous Dead Sea Scrolls, which were discovered in 1947 in Israel at a place called Qumran and which have given us even greater insight into the happenings in the first century than the Bible itself.

How did the Essene movement come about, General?  The Essenes, meaning “puritans of the faith”, were the Jewish sect that was the most loyal to the Davidic dynasty. They set themselves apart from the mainstream Jewish community circa 175 BC and established their headquarters at Qumran,  about 40 km from Jerusalem.

Since the Jewish nation revered the Davidic royal line, the only legitimate and rightful rulers of Judah in their view, they rallied to the Essenes en masse. And because the Essenes were disparaging of the Hasmonean rule (140 BC to 63 BC), the mainstream Jews also took a dismissive view of Hasmonean rule too.

The Essenes were so highly regarded because of their virtue and spirituality. The legendary Jewish historian Flavius Josephus (37-100 AD) writes thus of them: “They are more mutually affectionate than the others (Pharisees and Sadducees). Whereas these men shun the pleasures as vice, they consider self-control and not succumbing to the passions virtue  … Since [they are] despisers of wealth –  their communal stock is astonishing – one cannot find a person among them who has more in terms of possessions.

For by a law, those coming into the school (that is, the Essene fold) must yield up their funds to the order, with the result that in all [their ranks] neither the humiliation of poverty nor the superiority of wealth is detectable, but the assets of each one have been mixed in together, as if they were brothers, to create one fund for all.”

In time, the Essenes, General, became quite influential even with occupying powers. For instance, when the Greek General Pompey installed Hyrcanus II as ruler of  Palestine in 63 BC,  he sought the opinion  of the Essenes. The Essenes recommended that Hyrcanus go by the titles High Priest and Prince, not King, to which Pompey paid heed. In  142 BC, when Simon was installed by the Seleucids as ruler of Palestine, the Essenes had insisted on the same titular style. To the Essenes, everybody who occupied Israel’s seat of authority was simply holding fort for the real deal – the Davidic  King.

In 37 BC, when Herod became King of Palestine, the potential Davidic King was Jacob-Eliakim – the father of the Joseph of the gospels – who was an Essene himself. It was in order to win the blessings of the historically popular Jewish royal family that Herod sought to curry favour with the Essenes.

JACOB’S PACT WITH HEROD

About the time Herod came to power, General, there were three citizens of considerable stature in Palestine – Hillel, Menahem, and Jacob-Eliakim, the grandfather of Jesus. Hillel is by all accounts ancient Israel’s greatest teacher and scholar.

He was the foremost spiritual sage in the development of the Talmud and the Mishnah, the most authoritative religious references of the Jews which are second only to the Old Testament in esteem.   The renowned “Golden Rule”, which is invariably attributed to Jesus, was actually coined by Hillel. It is not certain whether Hillel was an Essene but his teachings did have a profound influence both on Essene philosophy and that of Jesus, who was an Essene too.

It was Menahem, however, who was an incontrovertible Essene. The Essenes were of two main branches, General. First, there were the puritans, the Palestinian Essenes. Then there were the liberals, the Diaspora Essenes, who sneered at the Palestinian Essenes’ dogmatism and rather strict views on morality. Menahem was the leader of the  Diaspora Essenes.

He was also privilleged to be advisor to King Herod. Herod did hold Menahem in very high regard. Josephus relates that when Herod was a school-going lad, Menahem had patted him on his back and said to him, “one day you will be King young man.” Since the prophecy came to pass, Herod had a certain, atypical respect both for Menahem and the order of Essenes.

Jacob-Eliakim’s significance was by virtue of his pedigree. He was of the royal line of David and was therefore the uncrowned King of the Jews. Now, as we have already indicated, Herod had his own grand designs about rulership of the world notwithstanding the fact that he was in reality a vassal of Rome.

When he made overtures to the trio, they didn’t mince words: they told him that in the new Israel, the Israel that would rule Earth once the Romans had been toppled from the pedestal of world power, it was a Davidic King who would reign. Herod took very strong  exception to such a prospect. Herod was neither a full-blooded Jew nor of Davidic stock but he was royalty in his own right.

His father, Antipater,  had been the governor of Idumea and in due course Judea in  the Hasmonean government and was in fact the real ruler of the entire Palestine, with John Hyrcanus being a  mere figurehead king.  When he (Herod) was only 25 years old, his father had appointed him governor of Galilee.   Herod thus had strutted the corridors of power from the day he was born and he wasn’t going to give that up easily either for his own sake or that of his descendants.

As such, General, Herod maintained to the trio that in the new, overarching Kingdom of Israel, he was going to be the emperor and would be based in Jerusalem. Just like the Greek empire of Alexander had been a triarchy (a kingdom divided into three governments), the global Kingdom of Israel (“Thy Kingdom Come” in the Lord’s Prayer) was going to be likewise.

There was going to be a ruler in the east, a ruler in the west, and a ruler in the centre, that is Jerusalem, under the oversight of Herod himself. Hillel would rule in Jerusalem; Menahem in the east; and Jacob-Eliakim in the west. If these three happened to have disappeared from the Earthly scene by the time the Kingdom of Israel came into being, their descendants would observe the same setup.

The pecking order would thus be like this: Herod as the emperor; Hillel as the senior king; Menahem as the second-ranked king; and Jacob-Eliakim as the junior king. Put differently, Herod had by the stroke of a pen reduced the Davidic dynasty from foremost to least important as it posed the most serious threat to his office. Meanwhile, the three kings-in-waiting would go by the names of the Old Testament patriarchs.

Hillel would henceforth be called the Abraham, or the Father (or Papa, which later morphed into Pope), since Abraham was the Father of the Jewish nation; Menahem would be called the Isaac (Abraham’s son); and Eliakim the Jacob (Isaac’s son). Half a loaf was better than nothing at all and so Jacob-Eliakim meekly accepted this arrangement.

When Jesus later said, “Many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the new Kingdom of Heaven (MATTHEW 8:11),” he did not mean an afterlife kingdom: he referred to the Earthly setup proposed by King Herod.

FALLOUT WITH ESSENES

Those days, General, the Davidic heir used the title “Jacob” rather than “David” as the latter title was very risky, particularly under the Hasmonean government. Given that Joseph was the most beloved son of the Old Testament Jacob, the next in line, that is, the firstborn son of the Jacob, used the title “Joseph”.

In September 44 BC, a son was born to Jacob-Eliakim. As the crown prince to the Jacob, he was given the titular name Joseph, the name by which he became best-known.  Like his father Jacob-Eliakim, Joseph was a missionary. But he also had a trade. He was a carpenter, a boat builder primarily, and a master of his craft. The word translated “carpenter” in the Bible is the ancient Greek word “ho hekton” which means a master artisan or craftsman.

In 31 BC, Qumran, the Essenes’ Judean wilderness bastion, was struck by an earthquake. The hermitic Essenes had no choice but to trek back to Jerusalem, from where they operated indefinitely at a place they called the Essene Gate. Then in 23 BC, Herod struck again. He had Jacob-Eliakim killed on trumped-up charges of sedition, his motive simply being a continuation of a systematic purge of  the Davidic “pretenders” to his throne.

The Essenes were wroth. They now set about promulgating to the Diaspora Essenes that Herod would have no part to play in the coming Kingdom. Instead, the overall King would be Joseph, the son of Jacob-Eliakim. This, General, was the beginning of a permanent rift between Herod and the Essene sect.

THE SAGA OF JOSEPH

The prospective global world, General, was subdivided into ten provinces to facilitate governance and tax collection. Palestine would have two provinces, Judea and Samaria, the latter of which would include Galilee. Asia Minor (largely present-day Turkey), where the bulk of Diaspora Jews were concentrated, would have five provinces.

The last three provinces would be Babylon, Rome, and Alexandria in Egypt. The future capital of the West was not Rome: it was Ephesus in Asia Minor. Having been allocated the West, it was in Ephesus and Alexandria that Jacob-Eliakim spent most of his time evangelizing to fellow Jews about the future Kingdom of Israel. This was the beginning of the New Covenant, whereby Jews who converted to the ideal of a new Kingdom of Israel were baptised by immersion in water.

To mainstream Palestinian Jews, General, Jacob-Eliakim was a sellout. Herod had demoted his pedigree but to somewhat placate him, he gave him the honorary title of Patriarch or Prince of Jerusalem. By subordinating the Davidic throne-in-waiting to Herod, Jacob-Eliakim had  gone against what the nation of Israel’s God, Enlil, the Bible’s main Jehovah, decreed – that every King of Judah had to be a descendant of  David. So when the unpredictable Herod had him killed in 23 BC for “sedition”, as part of a pogrom against the line of David, there was very little sympathy for him.

In 44 BC, Joseph had been born to Jacob-Eliakim. Joseph was a title: it was not his real name. At the death of his father, Joseph became the Jacob. However, he preferred the title “David”, the more apt one historically. Joseph would become the father of Jesus. When Joseph attained 30 years of age in 14 BC, his uncles and the Essene sages sent him to Rome and Alexandria to do his part in missionary work, which was simply about promulgating to the Diaspora Jews the future Kingdom of Israel in which a Son of David, that is a descendant of King David, would rule.   Egypt was also a special place because Joseph’s maternal relations were Egyptians.

Jacob-Eliakim, General, had two wives. The one was called Euchariah, a Jewish princess, of whom very little is known, and the other, the dynastic wife, was an Egyptian princess, a daughter of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt and Julius Caesar. Jacob-Eliakim and this princess had three sons: they were Joseph, the father of Jesus, and the twins Cleopas (after whom James, Jesus’ immediate younger brother, whose given name was Cleopas, was named) and Ptolas. Joseph was thus the Davidian Prince of Israel as well as contender to Crown Prince of Egypt. Despite pretences to the contrary on the part of the Jews, Egypt and Israel have always had ties of monarchical kinship.

In 8 BC, General, Joseph was required by Essene custom to return home and fulfill his obligations for a dynastic marriage. A wife-to-be had already been chosen for him by his uncles  and other patriarchal Essenes. This was Dorcas, better known today by her title name Mary.

NEXT WEEK: HOW HEROD MINIMISED THE HOUSE OF DAVID

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