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FALLING FOR A MARRIED MAN

I was one of those women who despised women who dated married men without even taking into consideration how they could have ended up in such situations.

I also took pride in myself that no married man could ever trick me to believe he would leave his wife to be with me without being able to see right through his teet. I thought for a woman to be tricked like that she must be completely stupid and said ‘NOT ME’ would I ever be in such a situation.  I was so proud of myself that for many years I managed to avoid getting tangled in such a situation.

God was I wrong about that, it happened to me and looking back it was so easy for the married man to manipulate me into falling for his charms, it took absolutely no effort at all no matter how smart I try to shield the story in my head. The interesting part was when it came to an end, he used my strength/weakness depending on how one looks at it to try and manipulate or blame me for not being the right girlfriend therefore if I did not do as he says and change to be what he wanted me to be we could not continue with the relationship.

He was asking for the impossible knowing fully well it was something which just couldn't be done. The reasoning for the breakup was very unreasonable, not sensible at all and I couldn't really understand what the hell he was talking about.What never bothered him at the beginning when he wanted sex became a weapon for him to use to end the relationship…looking back its actually hilarious and I am laughing as I type this. This is a very common trick used by these men.

They will tell you that you talk too much even though they met you that way, you drink too much even though they met you that way, you listen to people or friends too much even though they met you that way, you have slept with too many people therefore I cant trust you even though they knew that from the beginning, you don’t want me to control you even though they never controlled you at the beginning and also as if you are not a human being but rather just a thing to be used and controlled. They’ll tell you my wife or child is sick and I need to be there for them and cant leave now….I mean the excuses most women we know as they are endless.

But please know you are NOT at fault, he is MANIPULATING you and I beg you leave him with dignity. The more you try to reason with him the more he will become very disrespectful towards you, believe me he will enjoy seeing you begging him not to leave you, its truly nothing but a sickness. Leave him with dignity because it doesn’t matter what you say or do he is going to LEAVE you regardless.I understand there are women who enjoy and get the thrill of dating married men which is something that is truly disturbing and I hope in time this behaviour changes.

For majority of women I believe they simply have hope and believe that they found the right person who they connected with and one day the married man would set his wife free to be with them (as they often tell these women that the marriage has long ended at home and they are no longer having sex with their wives) and sadly enough I was indeed in that category.The fact that matters is that the majority of women have this longing need to settle down, be someone else’s wife and have a family of her own, it is very cultural to think that way but unfortunately often this weakness/strength to feel this way is often abused by most men not just married men and only for their own sexual need and satisfaction.

These women have had their hearts broken into million pieces because of the disappointment of falling in love with a married man and when the truth hits home, realisation that it has all just been a game to the man the results are painful to even think about. Few women will take it with dignity and die the embarrassment silently, some will seek endless revenge, some will have a mental breakdown, some will commit suicide, some will go into the depth of depression and a few will take this simply as part of life and draw something positive out of the situation for their own personal growth.

We don’t need to choose to remain victims, we can choose to see the light at the end of the tunnel by also taking responsibility of the situation. How one reacts to the breakup completely depends on one’s personal life experience.We all know that infidelity comes a long way, most people grow up knowing father, grandfather great-grandfather had affairs therefore the chain continued to an extent it feels like it is now cultural. I just want us to look at this on a deeper level rather than blaming men all the time. If we identify ourselves with situations we remain stuck in those situations and we continue to live life in circles.

Having said that, this behaviour is nothing but animalistic, what is the point of being called a human being when we are behaving in such animalistic way? We have evolved to what we are because we have consciousness and intelligence, this is what differentiates us from animals. How one could constantly allow their hormones to hijack their intelligence is completely beyond me. Where is our consciousness? Where is our intelligence? This question doesn’t only go to men but also to women who have chosen to nowadays behave like men just because they are sick of being cheated on and seek revenge.

How could we possibly break the cycle if we carry on like this? This truly breaks my heart and I see no resolution if we carry on this way.It is us women who can change this because we are the ones responsible for  raising our sons into men. It is us women who have the power to STOP this behaviour by saying NO to sleeping with married men. It is us who have the power to leave our husbands if they are cheating and you believe he will not stop treating you badly. We truly hold the key to turning this situation around rather than joining men in this infidelity situation.

We are the hearts of this world and without the heart this world wouldn’t know what gentleness is, what beauty is, what delicacy is, what decency is, what lifes fun is and also we are the balancers of this life. We are the ones keeping this world together in one piece and not falling apart because believe me if it was only men on this earth they would destroy this planet instantly and believe me if it wasn’t because of the sexual need a man has for a woman they would have also long time ago destroyed us women and that is a fact. Please let us not join them in destroying our planet and ourselves but rather find a way to resolve the situation. Let's tackle the root of this.

I have had the privilege of being a victim and raised above that and looked deep into the situation to enable me to share this with the nation.Perhaps it was a path I had to take at the right time in my life, who knows?! After all life is a mystery with nothing but uncertainty and we can never ever know what’s instore for us. There is more I could say about this issue but let me end it here for now and say thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope what I said finds the light within you to help us light this nation.

Botswana is a very small population and we can be a great example for other countries around the world if we worked together hand in hand to tackle many issues we face in this country, not just infidelity. May God Bless Us!

Written by a Victim From Ramatlabama

 

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WeekendLife

MOSADI: Grooming the Boss Lady

1st March 2021
Image consultancy- Mosadi Consultants

Women love style, looking dolled up, looking graceful and elegant but it begs the question; is your personal image representing the true you?

It is important to wear the right outfit, colours, styles and attitude to achieve your best look and to be taken serious. In addition, it is essential to wear the right mind-set about your self-image because the way you see yourself will have a mirror effect on how others see you.

Mosadi is an image consultancy geared towards uplifting women socially by means of image consulting. It empowers women to look great, feel their best and increase self-confidence.

Image consulting is a professional field that aims to improve the image of a client personally or professionally through appearance, behaviour, and communication.

With proper grooming, wardrobe, accessories and body language, Mosadi will project your best image and unique personal style to create greater opportunities and improved relationships.

It will also assist you communicate your personal or professional goals successfully to project greater confidence in all situations. In an exclusive interview with WeekendLife, Lemogang Sesupo, co-owner of Mosadi (currently employed as a teacher) said this is a business she started with her blood sister Boemo Sesupo (a records officer).

“I can confidently reveal that running this business has its ups and downs, but what better way to have those struggles than with family. She is more into the clothing line and I am more into the consultancy but together we make it work. The two departments give into each other which makes it easy for us to make it work,’’ said Sesupo.

She says passion, purpose and hobby is what makes the business flow with ease.“Looking good, feeling good and doing good makes the dream work. Mosadi wants to change the idea people have about women in the corporate world.

We are trying to break boundaries from people saying women sleep their way to the top or being trophy wives. This concept is all about redefining the woman.”

The duo believe that Mosadi can do it all by herself from her sweat and hard work without being dependent on men. This, they say, could be made possible if they look good and dwell much on improving their appearance.

“Many people perceive local employees as poor service providers by the way they look, so we believe it’s time that stops today. A woman should look womanly and be comfortable in her look. Looking decent has that effect where the way you walk with your head held high and the productivity level goes up,” says Sesupo.

Sesupo told WeekendLife that they provide make-over services, image consultancy, styling, and corporate clothing and MC services. Technically, Mosadi came at an appropriate time when the world is battling the COVID-19 pandemic, something that gave birth to the shattering Gender-Based Violence.

In Botswana, the numbers are taking a growing curve.It is only vital these women have their voices heard in fighting this crisis. This will not only help government, but will look good for their image especially now that they work with women at most times. Women do look pretty and elegant, but they carry much snags and worries, and only a shoulder to cry on can do marvels.

“Character is key. Mosadi wants to build character for women. A woman with character will know her worth, tap into her intuition and differentiate between what is right and wrong. With GBV, Mosadi is trying to let women to know their worth. We strive to educate them to make decisions for themselves and to be independent.”

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WeekendLife

Virtual fitness training and COVID-19

22nd February 2021
FITNESS TRAINER - CHYNA MOKAILA

The COVID-19 pandemic has altered the way the world moves, actually, it has it at a standstill.

The impacts of this deadly virus are massive, and the only way to curb it from spreading is through social distancing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

The pandemic had gym rooms closed to avoid crowding by fitness enthusiasts. However, some have come up with alternative ways of keeping fitness rolling even in the midst of this plague.

Prominent fitness trainer and certified sports psychologist, Chyna Mokaila couldn’t be at a standstill from working out with clients, even in the middle of a deadly virus. He has since started an online training program dubbed CMFit Virtual fitness.

The program begun during the first lockdown implemented in March 2020, but because there was no revenue coming in, the young lad had to go back to the drawing board and come up with something tangible to earn him monies.

He told Weekendlife in an exclusive interview this week that; “I had to make a sustainable solid plan that would see me doing what I do best and continue my work with or without lockdown and COVID-19. This made me tap into other markets and countries throughout the world. Currently, I have clients as far as the US, Canada, Austria, Italy, and neighbouring South Africa and Zambia.”

Chyna says the online fitness training has proven to be less risky in exposing oneself to the virus, as they get to training at the comfort of their homes with less contact.

“COVID-19 has brought a lot of sadness, depression and unhealthy habits because of being restricted to lockdowns. It goes without saying that staying fit helps individuals with depression and offers a feel good atmosphere.

Health should be our number one priority at this current moment, and the only way it can be done is virtually. People have learnt to embrace technology so we might as well divert our services to such platforms.”

Virtual fitness is cost effective, according to Chyna. “Although you get the same feel and package which comprises of consultation, nutritional guidelines, assessments and the actual training program the only difference is that the trainer is not there physically with you but virtually.”

Nutrition plays a very critical role in blocking viruses that could alter how the body system works. The right amounts of nutrients reduce risks of non-communicable diseases, increases energy levels to perform better and fight infections. Scientists say COVID-19 critically affects those with underlying health conditions.

Chyna told Weekendlife that he envisions reaching out to the world market, indicating that he will be having his training programs online as he has seen an opportunity in the digital space.

“This will start with repackaging my brand so that it is at par with the best in the world, hence why I have moved from Chyna’s kata-Bo to CMFit which provides more detailed programs anyone can do on their own- following my virtual programs.”

In his rigorous efforts to help people realize the significance of an active and healthy lifestyle, Chyna has collaborated with the BTV Morning Fitness Show and Yarona FM’s Fatboy Challenge which saw him landing another health segment with the radio station.

The fitness enthusiast has also worked with the senior men’s and women’s national football team, as well as the karate team as the conditioning coach. Internationally, Chyna has collaborated with Essence Events from the United States.

His core duty was to travel Africa promoting active lifestyle and health.Chyna is currently a conditioning coach for Township Rollers, an engagement that sees him guide and work with the team, keeping them at pick in terms of their fitness levels.

This enables them to cope with the demands of the game without fail throughout the season.

 

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WeekendLife

Revamping the waning Miss Botswana

17th February 2021
MISS BOTSWANA 2019 PAGEANT

The country’s biggest beauty pageant, Miss Botswana, has eroded over the years. Beside the fact that crowned Queens dismally fail at Miss World year-in-year-out, the pageantry itself has been losing its shine in terms of organization, implementation and just throwing a glamourous event like it used to do before producing little to no tangible results.

Of course it started in 2018 when Miss Botswana was just disorganized and boring. The event was held at Masa Square Hotel, when only three participants battled it out for the blue crown.

Moitshepi Elias was crowned the princess that Friday night. That was technically the last time we saw her smile because, even if she did at Miss World, her smile wasn’t convincing enough.

The judges felt she was not good enough, as she was not even close to Top 40. In the history of the pageant, Miss Botswana 2010; Emma Wareus and Miss Botswana 1997; Mpule Kwelagobe are the only queens to be remembered as those who made a great impact as they reached top positions at Miss World and Miss Universe. Wareus was crowned the first runner up, while Kwelagobe snatched the title to become Miss Universe 1999.

Miss Botswana 2020 could not be held due to the COVID-19 pandemic, something that left beauty pageant analysts stunned. Some feel this is a huge setback for the organizers, Development Advance Institute (DAI). This organization took over in 2018 and came with a plan for Miss Botswana, in which they strive to give the pageant a facelift.

Prominent beauty pageant analyst, Morekolodi Smith, told Weekendlife that a gap year delayed the implementation of the plan. “DAI aimed at revamping the organization, bidding to host Miss World and it will be tough to reach those aspirations due to this year gap. It still has to work on the reputation of Miss Botswana which has been deteriorating for years.

DAI promised a new era for Miss Botswana, I had expectations that they will crown a well-rounded girl who can bring glory to this country. With everything on hold and zero communication on what to expect, I see failure. The silence and inactivity is almost eerie. I wouldn’t be surprised if DAI drops Miss Botswana and another organization takes over.”

Smith says part of Miss Botswana could be held virtually, to avoid the stillness and dropping in rankings.
“Auditions, short-listings and preliminary interviews could be held virtually but not the actual final show. There is no need for the final show to be held virtually because traditionally Miss Botswana is never contested by more than 50 girls. The number is always narrowed to 12 and 16.”

He explained that the selection committee could go through all applications and select the Top 15, adding that the 15 would then be profiled in-depth followed by official photoshoots and glam shots.
“They could then take part in multimedia campaigns and host webinars.

Pre-recording the swimsuit and evening gown preliminary competition as well as featuring contestant video profiling could add magic. This is the time to maximize on video content.”Smith says there could be talent segment where contestants showcase their talent to entertain, and it could be recorded and each contestant’s video can be uploaded on social media for online audience and the public gets to vote for their favourite, and the winner gets to perform during the final show.

“Then the final show can be streamed live on social media platforms. Miss Botswana could have all Top 15 contestants do an opening number, followed by self-introductions then their short video profiles played. It can feature live onstage swimsuit and evening gown competition.”

After the swimsuit and evening gown competition, Smith said the question and answer session could be held, leading to crowing of the next Miss Botswana. He however, said Miss Botswana’s performance is fuelled by many challenges that persisted for quite a stretch now.

“One major challenge is that the Miss Botswana pageant is held very late. Our queens have limited time to prepare. This leads to half cooked Beauty with a Purpose project. No one excels at Miss World without an impactful Beauty with a Purpose project.”

He suggested that Miss Botswana could be held at least eight months before Miss World festival so that the winner can work on her project, a project that needs to be documented and packaged well. “I realized that queens here don’t have physical input on their projects. They always look glamorous and do not actually do the work. They are always on VIP mode and only come to cut the ribbon.

It is time that stops today. Tiara should be put aside and sleeves should be rolled. Preparation and packaging is key.”“It is essential to have Miss Botswana every year so that she can reach out to communities and add value to those in need.

Being Miss Botswana is more like an ambassador, the winner gets to represent Botswana internationally, precisely at Miss World. I think Botswana requires that global positioning space, as this works well with country branding because Miss World is a premium event.”

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