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Banana Emoji talks Queer sex!

But what does it really mean to be Queer? Yes, it’s an identity but it also conveys a sense of community. Queer isn’t a synonym for gay, but even in 2020, it still confuses the best out of many.

Queer is a word that clarifies that one is not straight and it ties them to the larger queer community, but it doesn’t categorize them as gay. The vagueness of the term is intentional-queer is an identity created for anyone outside of the heterosexual norm and meant to be inclusive and create a sense of acceptance.

While all labels used to describe one’s sexual orientation are unique to the individual, unlike homosexual, queer is an umbrella term that can be used by anyone under the LGBTIQ spectrum. Queer conveys both an orientation and a sense of community. ‘’The community aspect states ‘Because we’re all different, we can celebrate our differences. I can accept you for who you are, and there’s power in numbers’ there’s an aspect to it that doesn’t allow for isolation.

Some folks who fall somewhere in the middle of the sexual orientation spectrum, will describe themselves as queer rather than bisexual or pansexual. Others will use both and introduce themselves as bisexual and queer. The term queer is also used by those whose gender does not fall on the binary’’

The celebration and use of the word queer is one of reclamation. Not so long ago, queer was still used as slur. It was a derogatory term. The reclamation of the word is like, this is who I am, we don’t need to be like everyone else; let’s celebrate our differences, and don’t try to put me in any sort of box of who you need me to be because I’ll continuously try to break down the boxes. It is worth noting that while the word queer is generally celebrated, some LGBTIQ folks still prefer to avoid it due to its discriminatory history.

Sex planning is touchy, and when you’re queer, you often are asked things about your sexuality or find people assuming things about how you engage in sex that are entirely ignorant. Now, we all know LGBTIQ folks get asked a lot of strange and awkward questions when it comes to sex. Society, family, friends and pretty much everyone else will have something to say, and it can get awkward.

One person is more masculine, one is more feminine. Also known as: one person is always the top, one person is the bottom. Or, one person is the ‘man’ and the other person is the ‘woman.’ Assuming this masculine/feminine kind of relationship dynamic is myopic and will not make you look cool or informed. Queer people, just like all people, do not always take on traditional gender roles, whether both people have penises or both have vaginas.

We are talking about two human people here who may or may not be versatile when to comes to toping or bottoming or who may or may not stay in specific roles during sex. This logic applies to heterosexual couples too, by the way. For cisgender straight couples, it’s still wrong to assume that just because you have a vagina, you’re automatically down to take orders, or that just because you have a penis, you are in charge.

People assume that someone who is dominant is always controlling. If you find out a queer person is dominant in the bedroom, don’t assume that they are the one controlling the relationship. Likewise, if someone is submissive, don’t assume they can’t wear the pants. Who they are in bed is not always who they are in life. This is falling into that ‘one must be masculine, one feminine’ trap again. Sure, if one person is dominant in the sack, they totally might be dominant in the relationship, but you cannot assume that.

Queer sex is not some simple thing you can put into a box of ‘yes, that counts’ and ‘no, that doesn’t’. Penetration is not necessarily always involved when it comes to queer sex. Some cisgender gay women define sex between two women as when someone has an orgasm. Now, this is not necessarily how every person would define sex between two vagina owners. Anal sex does not always qualify as sex between two penis owners. Queer sex is not seen in the black and white, penis in the vagina that heterosexual sex is often, and most probably wrongly defined.

In his quest to explain all this misconceptions, blogger and owner of local artvism blog Banana Emoji Tanlume Enyatseng is hosting the third instalment and first of its 2020 edition of Banana Club, a platform aimed at informing, inspiring and engaging with various key publics in an effort to lead a relevant and dynamic conversations. The third club session will delve into the topic ‘sexual health and wellbeing in the LGBTIQ community’, next week in Gaborone.

He told Weekend Life that ‘’this particular session of Banana Club seeks to explore issues around queer sex, consent, pleasure and sexual health and wellbeing in the LGBTIQ community in hopes of encouraging people to think differently about sex in an environment that is truly inclusive. Sexual health is a fundamental human right and we believe in equal access for all people irrespective of gender or sexuality. Banana Club remains committed to changing the narrative that the queer community are difficult to reach; we ask instead where the gaps in knowledge are, what type of interventions will address them and work with communities to create culturally specific interventions.’’

Banana Club indicated that it welcomes the support of allies that agree with its manifesto and wish to work with them to achieve a certain aim. The session is split into two halves; one half being dedicated to sharing personal experience, with each participant  free to contribute as much or as little as they want and the second half being dedicated to questions and answers. With the help of the community, Banana Club wants to pinpoint where health institutions and practitioners are failing LGBTIQ people and propose ways that might remedy this. The session will be documented as part of a research process.

Enyatseng further indicated that as Banana Club, they seek to challenge dominant narratives and create a space in which the queer community can discuss freely, saying when they share their stories, they foster visibility and wipe out myths. ‘’the visibility that comes from different people sharing experiences, queering and disrupting views of the world, is a celebration of plurality’’ he said.

Bananaemoji.com established in 2016 is a blog that illustrates today’s evolving culture through art, social commentary, fashion and humor. Its readers are anything but the normal, they’re bold, free-spirited life lovers who recognize that perfection is boring. The blog reaches a community of over 6000 views around the world and works from the website have been published in such platforms as WeTransfer, Blaque Magazine, AfroPunk as well as Guardian.

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WeekendLife

All roads lead to Francistown for ATI’s concert

18th May 2022
ATI

Organisers of the much anticipated As One Music Concert say preparation for the much awaited as one of the music concert are at the peak, with ticket and merchandise sales at a high just 13 days before the event.

In a statement Kesego Okie, Managing Director of Blue Skies PR Agency and event coordinator “The Concert is a celebration of ATI’s journey in music. It is also an incredible platform for all stakeholders, particularly businesses that operate in Francistown, to show their commitment to the resuscitation of the City’s economy following the impact of Covid.

We are grateful for the reception by the city leadership and look forward to cooperate Francistown heeding our call to support the arts, which would in turn, be supporting many livelihoods and small business in the area”.

She expressed gratitude to the public for their immense support evidenced by ticket sales and talk ability, saying this is testimony that indeed As One the nation can go fa in the true spirit of boipelego (self-reliance).

The concert is partnership between Batho Bame Investment and Blue Skies PR Agency. “A lot of work has gone in to prepare for the highlight, and I am thankful to everyone who believes in the dream and supports us. I promise nothing but the very best of me and would love to express my utmost gratitude to all creatives and businesses that are a part of this Journey” Atasaone ATI Molemogi.

The concert will be the first music show taking place within the main pitch of the Obed Itani Chilume Stadium, which was chosen to host because of its distinct state of art ambiance, coupling Francistown’s position as a gate way to many strategic places in Botswana.

Francistown is not only rich in history, but also an enabler for economic activity for unearthed tourist destination surrounding it. It is an honour to have been given the approval by the city leadership and the people of Francistown to host this Concert in their backyard’ ATI.

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WeekendLife

AMVCAs To Host Hollywood Stars At 8th Edition

18th May 2022

As part of activities for the 8th edition of Africa’s most prestigious award ceremony, the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards (AMVCAs), Africa Magic in association with MultiChoice Nigeria will host celebrity movie stars and film directors from Hollywood ahead of the awards ceremony taking place on Saturday, 14 May in Lagos.

The visiting Hollywood stars will be led by Tasha Smith, actress, director and producer, known for her role in the acclaimed films, ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ and its sequel, ‘Why Did I Get Married, Too?’. She will be joined by Bayo Akinfemi, a cast member of the popular television series, ‘Bob Hearts Abishola’ as well as Brandon Micheal Hall of the ‘God Friended Me’ series fame

Also expected are Sidra Smith, award-winning Producer and Head of Essence’s Film and TV Studio and Grant Housley, Hollywood Producer, Writer and Director currently at Paramount Pictures, where he has worked on some of the biggest films and most critically acclaimed television series in the world.

While in Nigeria, the stars will meet with the #AMVCA8 nominees and other industry stakeholders. This historic visit is in line with MultiChoice and Africa Magic’s efforts in sustaining the Africa film making and storytelling momentum, through deliberate global collaboration.

The eighth edition of the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards is brought to viewers by Africa Magic in association with MultiChoice and is proudly sponsored by Amstel Malta.
For more information, visit www.africamagic.tv/AMVCA and follow all official handles of Africa Magic on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram using the hashtag #AMVCA8

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WeekendLife

Of Musicians and No Shows

10th May 2022
Musicians and No Shows

There is a growing unpleasant of artists who do not pitch for events they have been booked for; or simultaneously, there could be another development – false advertising – where artists’ names are used to draw large crowds.

Musicians and promoters in their mission to put bread on the table seem to have resorted to obscene means of securing their means. To many, this is tantamount to fraud and deception to gain an unfair advantage over their unsuspecting fans who swoon at the mention of their name, their presence and entire existence.

The month of May has just begun and bottomless grievances are pouring in of no show musicians at gigs they have been booked and paid for. Instead of leaving the crowd stunned by a spectacular show they are leaving revellers disappointed.

Exhibit A; This past weekend Eswatini’s DJ Uncle Waffles was scheduled to perform in Botswana. She never pitched up for the shows and continues to be silent on her lack of presence at the show. Exhibit B; Maphorisa, Kabza De Small and Sha Sha were all set to perform on 29 April at the Victoria Falls Carnival 10th Anniversary but did not arrive in Zambia for the gig.

In a statement released on Sunday 1 May, Victoria Falls Carnival organisers confirmed that flights and accommodation were organised for DJ Maphorisa, Kabza De Small and Sha Sha.
The statement continued; “Confirmations were sent to them as agreed and emails were sent to them several times before, for some reason they did not show up at the airport on the day of travel…

Above and beyond we tried to communicate with the artists to change the date of performance but still we could not get hold of them despite all the effort and all means of communication from our side,” Organisers have demanded that the artists refund them the full booking fee and the payments made for flights and accommodation

“All three artists were paid in full and contractually bound to perform at the Carnival, and accommodated at every corner with their numerous flight and accommodation change requests.” Adds the statement. Exhibit C; South African artist Prince Benza’s passport was confiscated by the Deputy Sheriffs pending payment for damages on breach of contract.

He was scheduled to perform at Mogobane on the 31st of December at the Reflector Music Festival but did not appear as well. He nabbed when he came into the country for a separate event.
The President of Botswana Entertainment Promoters Association (BEPA), Gilbert Seagile this week had his company; Gilbert Promotions registered in South Africa.

This puts him in an ideal spot to become an intermediary and help solve the feud between Botswana and South African artists and their no show at events.  Seagile emphasized that it’s not only international artists that miss events but even the local artists have the same tendencies. He elaborated that reasons for artists not pitching up are many amongst them ; breach of contracts , promoters not paying deposits and some can be natural like artist testing positive for Covid-19.

The BEPA president also indicated that fly-by-night promoters are also a concern as they do not follow the BEPA Code of conduct, “BEPA members are well coordinated, they have the code of conduct which guides them to do things accordingly. The government is pushing for promoters to join BEPA they have already started refusing with permits when one is not a member of BEPA.” he emphasized

Seagile said that the association is in talks with the South African Music Promoters Association (SAMPA) to provide protection of Botswana Promoters that when artists miss shows they can be able to rope in their lawyers in South Africa through SAMPA and Botswana through BEPA to compensate for losses incurred as a result of this exploitation.

He said another way of dealing with this matter is for Promoters to issue a contract to the artist as currently the norm is that the artist produces the contract to the promoter so this solution can help the promoters to protect themselves.

In an interview with Weekendlife, Superintendent Tumediso of Urban Police Station enunciated that matters of no show artists are normally reported by the promoter who normally comes as the complainant. The matter is then taken forward taking into consideration the evidence, this will in turn assist in determining on whether the case is theft, obtaining by false pretence or fraud.
When it is all said and done, revellers love musicians to hate them and hate them to love them. It is an unending toxic relationship which no one wants to pull away from.

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