There are so many factors that lead to cheating in most relationships, and whilst most of the time women are victims of cheating, the need to be faithful when in a relationship can never be over-emphasized.
To set up a long lasting relationship, there is a need to give your partner a reason not to doubt your faithfulness. When a partner cheats, often people are left heartbroken, hence the famous television show, “Wena wa Njolela,’ which will be hitting local screens to in search of cheaters as well as exposing them.
Botswana’s version of ‘Cheaters’ has only one mandate for the country; to reduce the rate of cheating amongst couples, which they believe the show will play a significant role in ensuring that hearts are preserved.The reality show will start recording its first episode on the 27th of March 2020 and will be running as long as there are people seeking intervention through the show. Each episode is set to run for only 30 minutes.
The most sought after show will air on Bonang TV, with other broadcasters said to come on board as time goes on. Producers of the show are still at the negotiation table with international broadcasters to expand viewership.In an Interview with WeekendLife, the Director of the show, who-for the time being wishes to remain anonymous, said, “We noticed that Botswana is behind with reality shows, and we thought of introducing something of its own kind and unfamiliar with anyone. In as much as condoms are given out to prevent HIV, we believe the show will reduce cheating,” he said.
The show is more than ready to receive requests from partners who suspect their significant other is unfaithful. “For now, if anyone needs our services they can go on Facebook and search our page, ‘Wena wa Njolela’ and leave us a message there, and we will get back to them as soon as possible, we are still setting up our offices in Gaborone,” he said.When asked whether third parties’ identities will be disclosed during the show, he revealed that all persons involved in the investigation will be exposed. “We will not blur any images on the show, unless where we confront people and we find them in the house and not dressed, then we will blur the images to avoid nudity on our screens,” he added.
Infidelity can be one of the most painful and underrated emotional abuse in society, it can emotionally, mentally and or otherwise destroy someone, so much so that they do not only have trust issues but it may also play a part in how they see themselves (self -conscious). Scorned lovers, those as a result of infidelity, will relate to the many mental breakdowns they had and their inability to accept their reality, something which can lead to adverse repercussions. The show however, has considered such circumstances and they are ready for anything.“After the show we will have counselling offered to participants and not only after but before, whoever calls us, we will bring our counsellors to talk to them to ensure they are psychologically ready for any outcome,” he highlighted.
The show is ready for anything that may come as an obstacle, this includes possible lawsuits. “We are aware that there could be lawsuits against us but we are prepared for such should they surface,” he said.In case things get a little out of hand, there will be four (4) bodyguards with the crew to intervene.Mostly known for its controversy and radically taking firm measures to expose infidelity, the show is coming through with an age restriction. It will only open participation to people above 18 and participants will be required to disclose their national identity cards.
Organisers are very much aware of fraudsters who are likely to use the show to get back at their ex-lovers, and they will ensure that they are not victim of such instances. “Before the investigations can commence, we will run a background check on the relationship to ensure such does not happen and should we find that you are trying to get back at anyone there are consequences,’’ he said.WeekendLife took it to the people on their experience with cheating and their perspectives on it. When talking to a certain gentleman who preferred to be anonymous about his experience with cheating, he said when he noticed that he was being cheated on, he was left heartbroken and had to call it quits.“I was left stressed and disappointed as I thought she loved me the same way and had dreams and goals with me.
I thought we had opened a chapter that will lead to something, little did I know that I was being played. I was really disappointed’’, he said.He said that even after he had moved on, there was a part of him that was a bit sceptical about whether he will meet a loyal partner or not. “When you are cheated on at some point, it does obviously affect your next relation because you would ponder on the past wounds that they might come again but then again you get to realise that people are different which can allow you to be positive, that one day you will meet the one you can trust with your heart,” he said.Women tend to be more sensitive than men and they are often deeply ripped apart when they find out that they have been cheated on. Even though some are always forgiving, others are of the notion that there is no excuse for cheating.
Speaking to a 29 year old lady who also opted for anonymity, she narrated her story of how she found out her partner was cheating.“We were planning to go out for a brunch, he had some restaurant recommendations to show me on his phone but each time I looked at it, he would get anxious and made sure he looked me right in the eye to monitor if I was looking at exactly what he wanted me to look at. That is when I picked that he definitely had something to hide. So I went to his Instagram and looked at his messages and that is when I found nudes and noticed he was seeing and dating multiple women,” she said.
Although she was pained and bruised, she said she felt really stupid. “I was crushed yes, but I felt more stupid. But I took time to reflect and noticed that those were his actions not mine. So if anyone was stupid then it was him,” she said.Currently she is not eager to be in any relationship. “I had trust issues, but not in a general sense. I lost all respect and trust for him. Of course next time I decide to get in a relationship, I’ll be extra careful. Right now I have nothing against him,” she said.
A young man who had cheated on his partner at some point, who opted to be anonymous as well, shared with WeekendLife that although he knows that cheating can hurt someone, they are very much aware it is wrong, hence he feels doing it secretly won’t cause much harm because they are not guaranteed whether their partners are not cheating as well.
Psychological view on the show Psychologist Keletso Tshekiso, told WeekendLife that the Cultivation Theory suggests that the more time people spend watching television, the more their conceptions of reality will reflect what they see on television. In other words, what one constantly views and learns on television is likely to become a part of their reality eventually.“In this case, I can assume that this particular program is likely to alter how society perceives issues related to promiscuity, infidelity and influence their attitudes and beliefs. It is still early to predict the "how part" although a hypothesis can be made,” she said.
She concluded that it is important for viewers to wisely decide on what TV content to watch and what not to view. “On the other side, television production companies as commercial institutions also have a greater responsibility to protect their viewers from any graphic, obscene or potentially harmful content. I think we must find common ground,” she said.
Odirile Sento, popularly known as Vee together with Magadeline Lesolobe (Charma Gal) took the liberty of playing as big of a part as they could to consolidate some resources for musicians which might be of assistance during these trying times.
In these unprecedented times of the overwhelming and the deadly COVID-19, it is only critical that people stand together and remain committed to helping each other, being kind enough to lend a helping hand in any way possible.
The contagious virus left people confounded, deprived and depressed. The pandemic shuttered many economies, industries and the entertainment sector was no exemption. If anything, the entertainment industry took the biggest hit of all the sectors but this was a hit felt in every country in the world not just a local tragedy.
There were tear-jerking testimonies of creatives, in particular artists, suffering from extreme hunger as events were given a rain check. Technically, social events have been shut for sixteen months now.
There were series of protests calling for the immediate opening of the creative sector, in a phased manner. Some brave yet unfortunate artists were arrested for taking up arms and protesting the strict COVID-19 regulations placed on the entertainment sector.
When protests failed and their laments falling on government’s usual deaf ears, prominent artists Odirile Sento, popularly known as Vee together with Magadeline Lesolobe (Charma Gal) took the liberty of playing as big of a part as they could to consolidate some resources for musicians which might be of assistance during these trying times.
COVID-19 has created untold challenges for musicians in Botswana, but there are possibilities- challenges have a way of breeding solutions nonetheless.
In an exclusive interview with WeekendLife on Wednesday, Vee said the Battle to Develop Artists Welfare is aimed at inspiring artists to learn diversification, which has been lacking for quite a stretch amongst fellow artists. A lot of local artists depend solely on music, which on its own has been performing below par, and COVID-19 has brought that into clear view, showing how most artists in Botswana live off scraps, barely making money off their beloved passion- music.
“This project was born out of compassion. The world as it is now is experiencing a rough patch, and you can imagine how other artists are coping. It is really a struggle, and we saw it critical to jump on-board and help our fellow colleagues. It will help artists start small businesses, some will start short courses which will enable them to find employment in the long run.
For it to have weight, we incorporated it into a challenge on stage, performing our songs. We hope this will inspire business moguls to sponsor and pledge some monies towards this initiative,” said Vee.
Charma gal indicated that the live battle on stage has been supported with musical instruments, further indicating that this is a volunteerism project with no proceeds to gain from.
“We will divide and disburse proceeds to our fellow artists, I mean these are people we have been working alongside for so many years. There is no how we can be reckless towards them when we see how hard the situation is.
We are in this together, and we are going to stick together like that. Some have started already doing something, and meeting them half way is only fundamental,” Charma Gal told WeekendLife.
The duo stressed that Gaborone North Member of Parliament, Mpho Balopi, has pledged P50 000 towards this battle, further calling on other businessmen to come to the party. Vee says Balopi supported the initiative from the get-go, brushing aside allegations that the project is politically influenced.
Initiatives brought forward to aid the entertainment sector have caused controversy, with Vee emphasizing that not all artists will benefit from this particular charity cause. “We have artists who are struggling, and sadly so. Some of them were bread winners and there is no income coming in, making it hard for them to cope with the economic challenges.
There has been an increase in VAT recently, and such developments make the situation worse. Rigorous assessments will be done to identify our desired beneficiaries.”
Vee and Charma Gal will be battling it out on stage with the battle scheduled to take place on the 28th May 2021. Because events are still striped, the show will be online with COVID-19 protocols to be adhered to.
Early December last year, scores of disgruntled artists congregated at GSS grounds seeking government to address their plight in the face of the COVID-19 restrictions.
2020 was a depraved year for the local entertainment industry. Music festivals, large gatherings and concerts were given a rain check as a precautionary measure to curb the spread of the deadly Corona-virus. As for an industry that depends solely on events for survival, the move to shelf gigs was literally kicking a dog when it’s down.
There was no revenue coming in, and depression found its way into the already devastated industry. Minister of Youth Empowerment, Sport and Culture Development, Tumiso Rakgare, was fingered in this muddle. He was censured for being hushed. The relief fund also sparked controversy, with many creatives of the belief that it’s prejudiced and impractical.
Early December last year, scores of disgruntled artists congregated at GSS grounds seeking government to address their plight in the face of the COVID-19 restrictions. The situation became chaotic as police officers told the artists that the gathering is illegal and that they should get a permit first. Artists decided to go the right way, applying for a permit to hold their meeting, and this time around in Old Naledi.
Creatives (most of which are BOMU members) came out swinging as they packed Old Naledi grounds in a show of strength against the COVID-19 Task team and politicians. But gathering a large crowd at the Old Naledi grounds was like playing a game of Russian roulette, as most of the attendees were potentially exposed to the Corona virus because there was no social distancing, wearing of masks, nor sanitization.
Artists however were clearly making their voices heard – they wanted their industry opened, but by the look of things the Task Force team will have to pull a rabbit out of the hat for this to be given the greenlight before another year comes to pass. Till date, the creative industry is still abandoned.
Following a series of protests, the custodian Ministry (MYSC) came up with virtual gigs and engaged artists for performances. However, this fuelled tension between upcoming artists and those who are already household names. In late December 2020, a group of young artists demanded answers from the Youth Ministry on how the so called ‘Big Artists’ secured virtual gigs from the Ministry.
A new BOMU Executive Committee was ushered in August last year which saw the Union and the custodian Ministry smoke a peace pipe. Botswana Musicians Union (BOMU) is an organization that works as an intermediary between registered artists and the Youth Ministry.
On Friday (16th April 2021) at a press conference to launch the 10th BOMU music awards, BOMU President Phemelo ‘Fresh’ Lesokwane said the Union has effectively managed to rebuild and earn back trust with its stakeholders, including MYSC and De Beers.
“These two entities have been BOMU music awards’ top sponsors for the past 10 years. We have managed to revive the awards and appoint a person who I will refer to as a brand marketing specialist. There has been a lot of miscommunication peddled around and as a leader of BOMU, I will be irresponsible to ignore all of it,” Fresh said.
Fresh is definitely not MYSC nor Minister of Rakgare’s spokesperson, but he had this to say: “It is very important I clear up the distortion of facts out there. MYSC and BOMU leadership have been hard at work, and in the previous year, we managed to push 90% of our members to register with COSBOTS so as to benefit from the subsidy. For the matter of fact, this did happen.
BOMU says it managed to convince MYSC to fund their 2020 Annual General Meeting (AGM). “The Ministry accommodated, paid all costs of accommodation and food for all the delegates who attended the AGM. This was a first for BOMU for as long as anyone can remember. I was so happy to see Minister Rakgare attending our AGM, which was for the first time also.”
Rakgare and his associates have been given a pat on the back for the national consultative meetings they took last year. They met with industry representatives and discussed calendar of events and how they should be rolled out. BOMU also pleaded with the Youth Ministry not to cancel events this year, and according to Fresh, the Ministry agreed.
“This is why they are helping with BOMU music awards and in due course, we will be calling the media to reveal the sponsorship. And on top of that, BOMU has access to the Minister and his circle of associates. They have their doors open for us, and we can’t be fighting with the Ministry while we see how welcoming it is to us. Lot of noise is made by non-BOMU members, which should be condemned in any way possible.
The Youth Ministry however, says it will engage on consultations with organizations, not individuals. This is why it is very important for artists to join BOMU now.”
This past week seemed like a time travel back to the early 1970’s where women were judged and stoned for what they wear, what they should wear, and whose attention their dress code will grab.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry gave their two cents on the matter, unnecessarily so. Its disheartening that in 2021 a woman is dictated to about what she should wear.
The genesis of the whole saga was because of a certified life coach and personal trainer, Agang Atlholang, derided as an example of an anti-feminist.
Atlholang updated a controversial post on her Facebook page where she seemingly attacked and dragged some women for wearing appealing clothes that leave little to the imagination.
The personal coach further went on to highlight that she could be fully clothed and be able to attract and steal some of these women’s lovers. Audacious of her to assume but more disheartening that her wardrobe is subliminally dictated by men.
It should be noted that this wasn’t her first controversial post where she has threatened or promised to take other women’s men, it may not be her last either but this post however did get on a lot of women’s last nerve.
“A woman’s sexuality is so much more than her thighs, (beep) and breasts. It’s your aura, confidence, seduction and the way you carry yourself, watching everything rock and roll in silence. I know who I am, I am a boss lady. I can still get your man without showing skin,” said Atlholang.
It is hard to place the fitness coach, is she pro-feminism or anti-feminism? Because one minute she would say something that makes sense and that almost everyone can relate to and other times she barks threats like a toothless bulldog.
She was not wrong to publicly and indirectly affirm that she doesn’t wear revealing outfits, but for her to be coming at those who do so was entirely out of line. How a woman presents herself to the world has a very little to do with a man’s preference.
Any personal liberation of what one chooses to clothe their own body is clouded by the misogynistic backdrop of the world we live in. In all cases, a woman’s body is assumed to be someone else’s before is it her own.
If she takes off her clothes, it is seen to be a sign of her insecurity and need for validation, rather than feeling comfortable with herself. Once she’s stripped, that’s all she is. This is the insidious pressures of misogyny that we all have a duty to attack and put in the past where it belongs.
WeekendLife reached out to Atlholang but her phone went unanswered. She did not respond to a questionnaire sent to her on Wednesday. Celebrated feminist Resego Kgosidintsi says there should be no expectations on what a woman does with her body. Some women are thick and curvy, while some are slim and petite, all body types are beautiful.
Kgosidintsi uploaded two pictures on her Facebook page in which she compared herself. In one picture she was only in a bikini on the beach whereas in the other picture she was wearing formal attire. She went on to say;
“I am the woman in both pictures, my worth did not decrease on picture 2 because I revealed almost all of my skin and neither is my worth on a 100 on picture 1 because my skirt is below the knee.
I have about 7 tattoos on my entire body and that still does not make me less of a woman. I drink and smoke cigarettes too and that doesn’t mean the woman in church who doesn’t smoke or drink more woman than me. Can we respect people’s choices, can we respect women.” Feminist, media personality and socialite, Oratile Kefitlhile shares the same sentiments as Kgosidintsi.
‘‘Feminism is subject, if I feel as a woman that when I’m fully dressed I’m celebrating my femininity, so be it. If another woman feels they are embracing their femininity more with their thighs out, that’s perfectly fine still. Let them be.
We have been preaching this revolution for a very long time of women being allowed to wear what they want, and being allowed to embrace their womanhood in the way that speaks to them, so I feel at this point we should not be having these debates,” Kefitlhile told WeekendLife on Tuesday.
Controversial poet, artist and businesswoman, Berry Heart is of the belief that women are envious towards each other. She argues that celebrating femininity has no boundaries subsequently making no one woman superior.
Quizzed on what makes women fight over small issues such as what they wear, she says “Batswana women are broken so much that we don’t want to see another woman succeeding on anything. We desire to make them dejected.”