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Huge, red flags of a dying relationship

Relationships can be a lot of work, keeping them running can mean a lot of stress for the individuals in a relationship.

When a relationship is good and healthy, all of that work and stress is working towards a common and shared goal and ‘’It is important to remember that all couples have perpetual problems and can develop tools to deal with them’’.

However, when a relationship becomes more work than it is fun, it can mean that the relationship is slowly dying. In other words, if you can’t talk about the hard things, you will also fell less warmth and affection; and over time less fondness and admiration for your partner. According to power of positivity, not talking about personal things anymore is a sign that the relationship is reaching for bedrock. At the beginning of the relationship, maybe you discussed all of your hopes and dreams, and serious issues in your life. But now, it seems likes all of your conversations are rehearsed and rehashed small talk.

You’re no longer discussing real, emotional things and instead, seem to only talk about how your day went and what to have for dinner.‘’When you share your struggles and difficulties you not only strengthen your bond through your vulnerability but you also set the precedence for an open and non-judgmental relationship for the future’’ says life and wellness coach Dana Peters. Therefore, it’s clear that when there’s nothing left to talk about, the relationship starts to die.

When a relationship is dying, your values are no longer as aligned as they once were. Disagreements turn toxic when your partner can’t even understand where your opinion is coming from. Perhaps you grew up into two different people than you had been when you first started dating, or when you first got married. Important things that mean a lot to you no longer mean the same to your partner, or vice versa. Disagreeing without understanding the other person’s perspective indicates a deep lack of understanding of the other person, in general. And somebody who doesn’t understand you will not make a great long-term partner.

Whatever the issue, you can never seem to agree.Experts say complaining about the same things is also a clear sign that the boat is sinking. The sink is broken. They don’t pick up their laundry. You leave hair in the drain. Whatever the issue, the complaint arises over and over, and it never gets fixed. This means that you and your partner are no longer actively trying to make the other happy. The things that upset you go in one ear and out of the other.

When this happens, a relationship starts to die.Peters indicated that arguing more is a sign that should not be ignored. At the beginning of your relationship, maybe everything was so happy and wonderful that you never argued at all. But now, it seems like all you do is argue. And the arguments are all about mundane or superficial things, or maybe they’re the exact same argument that you’ve been having for years that never seem to have an end, and there’s no way to resolve. ‘’As couples get to know each other better, there should be a progression toward more understanding and less misunderstanding.

Therefore, more arguments mean that there’s less compromise, which means the relationship is dying’’.Further, it is said that when your partner goes to visit their parents, or goes on a business trip, you get a huge sense of relief at having space to yourself. You no longer miss your partner during the day like you once did and you feel your need for space seeming to increase more and more frequently. ‘’If you’re all that excited to have a weekend alone, consider that the reason for your joy is that they’re draining you when they’re around’’, says relationship expert April Masini.

Wanting more space is a huge, red flag of a dying relationship when you no longer want to be around your partner, or are happier when they’re not around.When you are not around your partner, do you feel more anxious, depressed or uncomfortable than you used to? Are you no longer the happy, talkative person that you once were? A dying relationship can make you feel all kinds of upset and negative emotions, and you suddenly no longer feel like yourself anymore.

Maybe your friends and family notice that your personality has begun to change. This is a sign that a relationship is on its last leg. When you thinking about your future, are you suddenly no longer envisioning yourself with them by your side? Has your small family home in the suburbs suddenly turned into a vision of a studio in your town? If you no longer think about them in your future, it may be a sign that they’re not destined to be there.

A dying relationship will no longer feel like something that you can look forward to in future.While we all want to keep our relationships as happy and healthy as possible, sometimes two people just simple don’t work out in a relationship. And that’s Okay. No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always a chance that you both just need to move on from one another. If that is the case, knowing the early warning signs of a dying relationship will allow you to move on, or work on fixing it if that is something you and your partner want to do.

Not all relationships survive the test of time and there will always be moments when you would feel the need to finally give up and let go. However, it’s not also that easy to just drop everything and leave because you’re talking about something that once made you the happiest person in the world- so you are stuck in the frustrating and often heart-breaking dilemma between staying and saying goodbye.

Take a break but don’t say goodbye. Don’t give up on your relationship yet because as long as you both believe in your love for each other, there will always be a rainbow after every storm. Maybe you just need a break from everything. Take all the time that you need- both of you. Trying to fix an almost broken relationship can be emotionally taxing and sometimes it can even affect you physically so take it easy. You deserve to breathe- and remember that at the end of this remedy, you have someone to come home to.

Talk about it and be honest to each other, experts say. Communicate and be honest and truthful about how you relay feel. Tell them about the time when they hurt you but you’re too scared to show it. Just go on and ask the questions that have been bothering you all this time. Admit your mistakes and have faith in the fact that it’s not yet too late to fix it. One expert indicated that it is imperative to remember why you love them. ‘’You were once the happiest person in the world because you’ve finally met your soul mate- the love of your life. Remember those important moments of elation. Even if your heart is filled with hurt and has suffered so much pain, they’re still there, just waiting to be found.

Take the goods parts and learn from the bad. It’s important that you learn the lessons from all these. Although both of you want to fix this and make the pain go away, it’s not a wise thing to forget and just let go of the faults that contributed to this situation. Recognize that you both are responsible for what happened and try your best not to repeat the same mistakes again.

 

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WeekendLife

MOTSETSEREPA vents in song

25th October 2021
William-Last

William Last KRM was offended after he failed to go home with a single award from the Yarona FM Music Awards (YAMAs), to the extent that he put all his frustrations into his new song. The new song, dubbed Heavenly Sent, features songbird Mpho Sebina, and it is already making rotations on social media and radio stations.

On YouTube, Motsetserepa uploaded the song on his channel that has precisely 217 000 subscribers. Heavenly Sent, the new melody, has over 170 thousand views already. The young comedian-turned musician, Motsetserepa dominated the 7th YAMAs but failed to snatch a single award.
He was nominated for People’s Choice Artist of the Year, Best Male Single, Best Hip-Hop, Best Social Media and Song of the year. He was the most nominated with Han C. The cover of the new single shows that William Last has won a Grammy Award. Grammy Awards are the United States’ biggest music awards, held annually, to recognize achievement in the music industry.

Perhaps William Last is trying to communicate that he is bigger than the YAMAs. The cover says, “William Last won a Grammy. Congratulations.” The introduction of the video starts with Trevor Noah, a South African comedian and television host who lives in the US, introducing the last award category of the night at the Grammy Awards. The category was Best Rap Song, and William Last’s Tinto was nominated alongside Drake, Roddy Ricch, Lil Baby and Da Baby. The winner was Motsetserepa with his hit Tinto.

After standing ovation from American entertainment industry leaders in his acceptance speech, William Last said, “Thank you so much. It is indeed an honour to be here with you guys. I want to celebrate this award with you, but I want to communicate something really important.” However, the crowd laughed instead, and William Last shouted “stop”. His mood changed and became blue, and Mpho Sebina’s melodic voice appeared in the background.

“I have been telling God that everything is going to be all right. Please don’t get so hopeless long as you make sure I survive. Yeah…yeah, been through hell and back, I’m talking stress to a point ke tima phone when people call don’t wanna answer I hear voices inside of my head, ke bona mewa e mabitleng A batla go raba mathata dingaka e kgarakgatshega ekare malwetse (go siame gale) All these people they ain’t scared when they see me mad I might just snap though I ain’t sending threats Kgale ke bua kopa le ntheetse.”

In this chorus line, William Last talks about how he has been suffering to a point where he avoided contact with people at all costs. He says he has been trying to converse. Therefore people should pin their ears back. He also expresses how he has been taken for granted by a circle of folks who perceive him as a mental case. Some people, he writes in the song, don’t have time for him as if he is impractical to them.

“Buisa phuthego oe tsena botoro Baba lopela ka dipono Nna ke bua ba mpona boroko eish…Ba mpona setomo Bare Motsetserepa gare batle o’ dlala we ain’t got time for you dawg I’m just hoping I don’t flop, like a flip flop Know they hoping that I fall, what for?” Motsetserepa has strong faith that he is heaven-sent and an inspiration to the children of many of the people who bring him down. He considers that his haters are influenced by ego.

“Some of your kids they look up to me, they look up to me. They calling me names, they calling me G, bare ke podi. Some of you guys get killed by ego. Why the hell can’t you just be humble? That’s why your life is too stressful. When you see me in the streets, call me Tinto Once said I’m a do it again, did it again I am a man amongst all man. I’m heavenly sent.”

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WeekendLife

Han C wins big at the YAMAs

5th October 2021
Han-C

Once again, Hanceford Magapatona emerged the biggest winner with ease at the 7th Yarona FM Music Awards (YAMAs) this past weekend. Famously known as Han C in the music industry, the 27-year old self-taught singer and songwriter snatched the titles of YAMAs People’s Choice Artist of the Year and Best Male single for his all-time hit ‘Padi padi’. 

Han C did not go home empty-handed as there were good monies for each category, courtesy of First National Bank Botswana, Mascom and Now TV. The two prestigious awards earned him P60 000 and P25 000 each, making him the biggest winner of the night.  After being announced as the winner under the Best Male Single, Han C took to social media to express his serenity about the achievements. He said, “words cannot explain how I feel right now, but all I can say is thank you much to the people who have been showing us love and support.

Special shout out to Yarona FM for giving us this platform to showcase our talents and creativity. I also would love to give a special shout out to all the sponsors for making this happen. We appreciate all of you.” When getting his People’s Choice Artist of the Year award, Han C showed deference to artists nominated with him under this category. Even though they could not go home with the prize, Mahalapye-born acknowledged that they are equally artistic. “Getting a nomination for this award is quite an achievement on its own, mainly because you are nominated alongside brilliant, amazing good artists—a special shout out to my team. We put in the work; I think we should continue doing so.

PREVIOUS AWARDS NOMINATIONS 

Han C’s hard work and dedication have garnered him recognition in the local scenes. And it would look suspicious if he didn’t get an accolade or two. In 2018, he was nominated YAMAs Artist of the Year, Best Male Artist, and Song of the Year (Mafurafura), Best Collabo (Mafurafura) and Best Dance Single (Mafurafura). In 2016, he was nominated for Song of the Year (SediLaaka) and Best Collaboration (SediLaaka). He won Best New Artist in 2016, Artist of the Year (2018) and Best Dance Single 2018.

MOTSETSEREPA LOSES ALL NOMINATIONS

Local comedian-turned musician Bofelo William Molebatsi, known as William KRM Last saw dust at the recently held 7th YAMAs. After being the most nominated artist, William Last did not go home with any of his nominated awards.  He was nominated under: People’s Choice Award of the Year category, won by Han C, Song of the Year taken home by La Tonde and Names, Best Male Single (Han C), Best Hip-hop (snatched by Ozi F Teddy) as well as Best Social Media (Mjamaica).

He, however, took to social media to share the devastating news, which came as a slapping blow right on his face. “Wow! Whenever I think of the huge success of my Amara Willian album, I always cry happy tears. I celebrate and thank God for where he has brought me to with all this big brand success. This is especially through the greatest love from my supporters/fans all over. They are a million followers of my brand and the views that I always get on my daily posts all over my social media platforms. These big numbers scream love and appreciation to me so loud. I appreciate the love and support; God bless.”

OTHER YAMAS 2021 WINNERS

Peoples’ Choice Song of the year was awarded La Tonde and Names for their song ‘Dibulele’. YAMAs 2021 Inductee to the Yarona FM Hall Of Fame was the late Sasa Klaas. Sasa Klaas died in a helicopter crash on March 5th 2021, near Sojwe. She was an all-around musician mostly known for her hip-hop culture.

Producer of the year was snatched by MB on the Beat, while Boipelo Seleke scooped the YAMAs 2021 Icon award. Seleke went home with P25 000 while MB on the Beat only earned himself P10 000. The new Mokaragana hostess Girly left the YAMAs as the new awardee of Best Female Single for her song ‘BMW’. Best Amapiano went to Deejay Bino’s ‘Touch’ featuring the late Sasa Klaas, Rasun and Da QuTness.

Further, Lloyd BW and Priscilla K’s ‘Have You Ever’ won Best Dance Single, while Best Collaboration was won by FlyBoi Que featuring Jordan MoOzy and FME Luther October on their hit ‘Ndeya’. Ozi F Teddy also made a debut appearance of the YAMAs nominations and snatched Best Hip Hop for his song ‘Negotiate’, where he features Murda.

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WeekendLife

BOMU clears trending misconceptions

21st September 2021
BOMU President Phemelo Lesokwane

Almost every year, Botswana Musicians Union (BOMU) attracts hullabaloo over its annual music awards. This time around, it was not only that. There has been much noise around compliance, Ministry of Youth Empowerment, Sport and Culture Development involvement in the affairs of this organisation, as well as the contentious sponsorship from the Department of Broadcasting Services (DBS).

Following a four-year hiatus, BOMU awards found themselves being the talk of the town due to unfair practices some artists claim clouded the non-complying organisation. These are serious accusations that BOMU has since rubbished as deliberate actions intended to tarnish its reputation.

Some disgruntled artists recently took to the streets to protest against these practices. However, these are not subscribing members of BOMU. Before being cut short by the Police, these artists demanded that the Minister of Youth Empowerment, Sport and Culture Development Tumiso Rakgare step down immediately. They claim that Rakgare has failed his mandate.

On the other hand, they demanded that the Youth Ministry reverse the P500 000 it has splashed on the BOMU awards, and the money be split among artists. A lead protester in these activities, Rhumba artist General Tuco, told Weekendlife that BOMU management should halt the awards and instead clean the organisation’s dirty laundry.

He further indicated that they would be dropping a petition at the DBS offices, urging the group to revoke the P1.5 million sponsorship it has awarded BOMU. Because these discontented artists claim that BOMU is non-compliant, they will also be marching to the Registrar of Societies to express their grievances.

In an interview this week, General Tuco said they are still engaging their attorney to formalise their protest and give them a way forward. The Police deny them a permit to hold their rally. According to information gathered last week, the artists were arrested and released the same day and asked to apply for a protest permit.

BOMU PRESIDENT SPEAKS

BOMU President Phemelo Lesokwane told a media member on Wednesday that “We have seen people on social media dragging our name on the mud as BOMU. They say we are non-compliant, corrupt and unfair. When we get to see who these people are, they are not our members. They call themselves artists, but as legalised agents of artists in Botswana, we do not know them, neither do we know what they are talking about. We condemn these acts.”

Lesokwane rubbished allegations that BOMU is not compliant. “We see journalists giving these guys who masquerade as artists more prime time for them to tarnish our name. But they do not have the evidence. BOMU is compliant, and we have all the documents. We also have verified documents from the Registrar of Societies, who are our key stakeholders.”

Talking about being backbitten, Lesokwane claims that government officials from the Registrar of Societies are promoting what unregistered artists are making noise about in the corridors. Some of these officers fed the Youth Minister Rakgare wrong information about BOMU. BOMU has much work to do in-house.

Further, Lesokwane revealed that when they took over the office, BOMU was mugged some of its finances. Investigations are ongoing to retrieve such monies, he said. As if that is not enough cleaning, Lesokwane has a headache dealing with another faction dubbed BW Artists, which represents artists in the Northside of the country.

“If you could look into the management of this organisation, you would question their interests. Two of them are politicians. Once they fail primary elections, they come back into the music industry and cause chaos. I always say I am going to fight with everything I have together with my team to make sure that we protect artists in Botswana.”

JOURNALISTS FINGERED IN THE BOMU MESS

BOMU President Lesokwane has accused journalists of being biased and unfair to his organisation. He stressed that BOMU depends on members of the press to help rebuild the dying Botswana music industry. “Most articles about our artists speak negatively about them. Foreign artists are always given priority instead of our local artists, but we value journalists as our equally significant stakeholders. We can grow this industry together.”

These media reports, Lesokwane said, have forced stakeholders to withdraw their sponsorships towards the BOMU awards, slated for October 2021. At times they are required to answer for hearsays that are not accurate. He reiterated that BOMU has nothing to hide as it is compliant.

BOMU MUSIC AWARDS CONSULTANT SPEAKS

BOMU Music Awards Consultant Seabelo Modibe has been topping the charts for a long good time. His appointment as a consultant was notorious as critics felt his company was relatively premature at the time of appointment.

He joined the BOMU get-together at the time the awards were still distressed by the hubbub. Many asked if he would manage the heat, but clearly, Modibe is having a hard time. He, however, stressed that BOMU is open to criticism.

“Lot of people say BOMU has been given money to waste. That is not precise. It has sold its product, its broadcasting rights. They were sold for P1.5 million to the DBS. Our contract is for a year, and we will be going back to them in December. MYSC has acquired what we call commercial rights. These are rights that someone buys to promote their mandate. MYSC seeks to promote local music using BOMU awards.”

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