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How To Get Her Back


First thing fist gentlemen, this article will not review how to get over a divorce, this article only attempts to help you get over a breakup with a girlfriend with whom you do not share children. Lastly, for purposes of this articles we will assume the girl in the relationship broke up with you.


So it went like this: She broke up with you. She said goodbye, sweet heart. This is it, I am moving on. Places to go, people to meet. It was great knowing you. You’re a great guy and all that. Keep the jewellery. Or maybe she got the jewellery. Either way, weeks later you’re an emotional wreck, drowning in beer and delivery pizza. You’re having second thoughts. You miss her laugh, you miss the back rubs, the hot sex and her cooking.


Almost every one of us, at some point has found himself suddenly sadly riding solo. It’s an awful state, a free fall into self-indulgence and melancholy. Over the years I observed that, while women tend to pack up and move on, men often wind up mourning and longing and wanting to try again, especially if she’s packed up and moved in with that guy she always claimed was just a ‘’close friend’’. That’s where you have to choose: Let her go or try to get her back.


It’s the former, then  all you need is time. If you choose the latter, then buckle up. You’ll act desperate, throw money around and probably call her all hours of the night, usually after a few drinks. But if you’re willing, there are certain subtle strategies that  might work. Even if she may not have thrown the dead bolt. Play it right and you could wedge yourself back in. The following are 5 guidelines that you should follow:


Rule No: 1) IDENTIFY WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
Is it (a) Her? Or (b) a return to regular hot sex? Or (c) not her at all, but also for her not to have another boyfriend?  Your pining may be your manhood talking or your response may stem from rivalry, not romance. I will say this fellas, It’s not fair to re-entering just for the sake of winning. To win your ex, only the purest of motives will do. Can you look yourself in the eye and say ‘’it’s her laugh, her earlobes or her cooking that you can’t live without?’’ Alright then. Next rule.


Rule No: 2) ASSES HOW BAD THE DAMAGE IS
Did you two just simply fade, awkwardly and silently to grey? Or did you crash and burn like an old VW Golf4? Oddly enough, the high drama ending bodes better for a sequel. In other words, if you broke up because interest just cooled off, your relationship will be tougher to rekindle. But if you left things hot, the spark may still be there, which is fine, if you don’t mind playing with fire.
Another factor to consider is whether your split was brought on more by specific circumstances such as a new job in  a different town or by creative differences like ‘’You know, I have been thinking, I’ve just realized that I don’t like you’’.

Rule No: 3) DON’T BE HER FRIEND
Unless of course you want to start hearing about her sex life with her new boyfriend. Don’t  accept invitations for drinks or movies and don’t engage her on social media, no friend requests accepted from her. Remember that here we are talking about a situation where she is the one who broke up with you, not the other way round. You may feel that any continuing relationship is better than nothing, but what you’re really doing is making the new status quo a comfortable one.
The best tactic for making an ex reconsider is the date-or-nothing ultimatum. The ultimatum  also works because upgrades from friends to lovers don’t work. Even the worst case scenario has its merits. It hurts like hell when all ‘’all or nothing’’ becomes ‘’nothing’’, but ultimately it’s less painless than pulling the band-aid off slowly and it gives your wound a better chance of healing. You may ask me, ‘’Hey Vic, how do I pull off that ‘no friends’ rule?’’. Well, move to the next rule.


Rule No: 4) NO CONTACT
Don’t call her, and when I say don’t call her I mean don’t freaking call her. Just don’t. Get hold of yourself fellas. You can’t gather a clear sense of what you want and why, and neither can she, until you’ve both taken a breather. Even more important is to get your ex to feel your commanding absence. Let her experience the impact of not having you around. Let her suffer through horrible dates, bad blockbuster rentals and hours alone sipping cold coffee. Well, not exactly. You’re simply giving her time to make a before-and-after comparison. Time to distance are needed to be sure that coming back is not a needy response to loneliness, but a conscious, grown up choice. It may take a few weeks, maybe several months, or even a year and sometimes another relationship. Gut-wrenching, right. Well, move on to the final and most crucial rules of them all.

Rule No: 5) GET A LIFE
Just because your heart is broken doesn’t mean you should stop doing all things that you love. Continue pursuing your busy life, your hobbies, interests and your dreams. Hit the gym, sweat it out and get into shape, get new cloths, go out and meet new people. No sniveling around, buying her flowers or writing her poetry. Such campaigning is so unconvincing. It presents no evidence or promise of commitment or understanding. Your ex girlfriend should see you having a great time without her. There was obviously something she liked about you when you first met her, so the idea is to switch back to your old charming, fun and exciting self. Use it to your advantage. If there is an interesting girl in your social circle, establish contact with her and take things slow. The power that lies within this rule is that it gives you an opportunity to have options, incase your ex girlfriend doesn’t come crawling back to you. Good luck fellas. Some girls think that once they dump you, it's over and done with. If the girl tells you that she doesn't want to get back with you, just accept it. Maybe she needs time. Cheers!
 

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Self-taught fashion designer speaks

26th July 2022
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A job, lucrative or not, is a job after all. Sometimes one has to compromise in order to make a living, few people get a job their dream jobs. But once in a while there is an emergence of people who listen to their inner calling to pursue their passion.

The founder and head designer of Butterfly Couture, Chawa July is one of those few people who left their job to pursue their passion. An inspiring fact about July is that she is a self-taught fashion designer, she used to copy patterns from her old clothes until she learnt how to draw them, and she also searched information from the internet to increase her knowledge and skills.

“It all started as a hobby from my love for beautiful dresses and I started adjusting and making clothes for myself. Gradually people around me started to take interest in my craft and the hobby slowly grew into a profitable business,” July said.

The 41 year fashion designer from Molepolole worked her way up in the Procurement space for over 10 years. She worked at Stanbic Bank, Kromberg & Schubert and Clover Dairy as a Procurement supervisor. Her last job before she entered the fashion industry was a Manager for Contacts & Sourcing at a Facilities Management Company.

She established her fashion house in October 2019 and it has become synonyms with elegant wedding gowns and exquisite evening wear. July said when designing she is inspired by various aspects such as the client’s personality, the mood of the event and the theme. She further mentioned that every opportunity is to show her craft so she always aims to please.

“Every Butterfly Couture piece must represent the elegance and the creativity the brand is about,” she said. Butterfly Couture has adorned beauty queens; Miss Botswana 2021/2022 Ambrociah Samboko at Miss Universe in South Korea and Miss Botswana 2019,Oweditse Fafah Phirinyane during her reign of which is the highlight of her career. They have also marked their presence in a few fashion events locally and in the neighbouring countries.”

They showcased at The Grand Palm Wedding Expo, Masa Fashion Show, Miss Botswana Fashion Show and Sacunda plus Size Fashion Show. The will also be showcasing at Gabs July Fashion Show on the 15th of July alongside the South African designer, popularly known as the King of glamour David Tlale.

July also identified that one of the challenges they face in the couture is that, it’s a seasonal business. “There are times in the year when the business is great and challenging. Winter in particular, is difficult time to stay afloat as there aren’t as many events that people are inspired to dress spectacularly for,” she said. She further said that her aim is to be a prime couturier of choice in Botswana.

“Craft like your life depends on it because every happy client is 10 more referrals” is what she said when asked to serve a word of wisdom to people hoping to make it in the fashion industry.

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Gospel awards re-organised

26th July 2022
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The Botswana Gospel Music Awards (BOGMA) and the Annual Gospel Awards (AGA) are said to be no longer in existence and a joint venture project has been put up that will carry out the awarding of gospel musicians.

The new entity has been established as Gospel Music Awards, which is a project at this moment is nearer to dishing out the first Gospel Awards under the leadership of the dissolved entities (BOGMA and AGA). “The difference is the same, it is just that the two projects were run by different minds which had differing objectives,” said the project coordinator, Letsweletse Moshabi when asked what the difference was between the two previous awards.

He added that at this junction their focus is on the future of the gospel musicians and they would like to direct their energies to the new project and forgo the past projects. “The Music market especially the gospel genre is too small and that basically means the very small market was experiencing the imbalance in the supply and demand forces. At that stage, supply was more than the demand so the reason for the joint forces is to allow the supply and demand forces to readjust and form equilibrium,” added Moshabi.

The mandate and objectives of the project are to recognize and award gospel music talent, to create awareness of the Botswana gospel music industry and to create a platform where fellow musicians may exchange ideas and network amongst themselves and approach international markets in cohesion.

The first of these joint awards will be held on the 27th August 2022 at Molapo Showcase under the theme ‘Cohesiveness to Build’ where about 18 categories will be up for grabs.

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Makhadzi, Master KG invade Thamaga

18th July 2022
Makhadzi,-Master-KG-invade-Thamaga

The Kumnandi Ekhaya musik festival will be held on the 30th September 2022 at Thamaga village. The event coincides with the release of famous host, Dj Ngwazi’s first album called ‘spring day’ on the 2nd of September 2022.

The Thamaga born and raised Lefika Lushen Kebatlege is a disc jockey and a music producer signed under WanitwaMos Entertainment in South Africa. Famously known as Dj Ngwazi and formally known as DJ superstar, he has really worked hard to become one of the finest export DJs the country has produced. Internationally, he is described as a DJ from South African because of his works with popular music artist Master KG.

Meanwhile, the music festival will feature South African artists, Makhazi, Master KG, Prince Benza and Mthunzi. They will also be joined by some of the big local artists, Franco, Vee Mampeezy, among others.  “The tickets of the concert will be available at Spar stores, webticket and Kings bar. There will be three categories for VIP tickets, the one that goes for P1000, P1500 and P2200,” said the Kumnandi Ekhaya musik fest promoter Sadie Swartz of Saysay Entertainment.

“We have a new system to tackle the cry of promoters about security at the events. We will have a team of 100 security men, 10 horses and 15 dogs. We also agreed with the police to help with traffic control and no tickets will be sold at the gate to avoid circulation of money which can attract thieves,” said Kagiso Gaodumelwe from All Night Security.

“I started deejaying back in the days when I was still schooling at Kagiso Senior School and I never stopped working towards my career since then. I have a career in South Africa, since 2018 when Master KG took me in and his support as a brother has taken me to places,” said DJ Ngwazi describing his career journey.

“Kumnandi Ekhaya is Zulu language which means ‘go monate ko gae’ in Setswana. The name came about as a way of inviting my South African fans and supporters to my home village Thamaga to come experience the joy that comes with celebrating our freedom and independence. I used isiZulu because it’s the dominant language in South Africa,” explained Dj Ngwazi.

“The concert will be held in an open space which was used for agricultural purposes and we would like to call it ‘Ko Legoleng’. With this concert I want to redeem the dignity of our village because we once had the cases of youth who were terrorizing the community, beating up people in the streets and stealing and these was really a concern in our community because they were tarnishing the village name,” said Dj Ngwazi.

The purpose of this concert is to empower the community of Thamaga and local artist, more especially artist from Thamaga village like, Kgabo Sereto traditional group. There will be a litter picking campaign around the village before the launch of the concert .The sponsors which are already on board are Dladleng Entertainment and Kings bar and there are still more sponsors to be revealed.

”As the Kumnandi Ekhaya musik fest management, we are going to buy food combos and take them to Thamaga village Kgotla so they can be donated to the less privileged and orphans. Starting from October we will be donating pads to all Junior Schools in Thamaga,” said Dj Ngwazi. Dj Ngwazi’s motivational words to other artist and everyone else; work hard, be patient and be determined.

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