Stumbling upon headlines that Americans will spend a stunning $18.9 billion just to celebrate Valentine’s Day was, to say the least disturbing. Undeniably, Valentine’s is the hallmark of love and spending for love is acceptable to some extent, but I believe by now even the worst suckers for the “special day” know by now how commercialized the day is, but some people believe in splurging their good money to demonstrate their feelings for that special someone, love and money have always gone together!
It is quite intriguing too that even locally, a lot of people have spent to celebrate the day, what with our shops going all out with the crazy specials on lingerie, chocolates, lovey-dovey mugs, teddy bears and a list of other totally useless items.
What is preposterous however is the notion of self-gifting on Valentine’s Day. Some women have been known to buy and send themselves flowers or chocolates or a cuddly, fluffy red and white toy while some even have gone into lingerie shops to buy themselves matching pairs of lacy underwear.
Valentine’s has really come a long way. For centuries, the day was a mash-up of a wild Roman pagan festival known as Lupercalia, a Roman festival during which men slaughtered a goat and a dog and used the hides to lash the women in order to enhance their fertility and the celebration of two catholic saints (both named Valentine) who were executed on February 14, by Emperor Claudius II of ancient Rome. By the middle ages, it was the norm to give loved ones hand-made cards or flowers during valentines.
The Valentine’s we celebrate today was most probably spurred by entrepreneurship, and research suggests that we have Richard Cadbury and Esther Howland to thank or this. Cadbury belonged to the famous chocolate making family, he then had an idea to package the delectable in heart-shaped boxes and selling them, this was in the mid-1800s.
Howland built her reputation as the “Mother of the American Valentine” by designing and popularizing high-quality lace-paper Valentine cards featuring messages of love and devotion through her company, the New England Valentine Company which she reportedly kept thriving for decades.
A random survey in a local mall shows that most men spend only because they feel obligated. An elderly gentleman spotted at a bookstore’s Greeting Cards section said he was buying his wife and mother of his three children a card. “She simply wouldn’t be happy if I don’t buy her anything, I buy her simple things like a card or chocolate, just anything special,” he said adding that if he could spend more he would because it would make his wife happy.
On asking him if he ever got anything from his wife, the gentleman revealed that he has always gotten gifts from her and she was the one who made him believe in buying valentines gifts. “I think she gives thought to the gifts she buys because I can keep the gifts she bought me before, last year I got a foot massager, and I have shirts, t-shirts and even socks from way back. I tried to discourage her in the beginning because I was clueless about these kinds of things but failed,” he said.
Another younger looking man, who only wanted to be identified as “Kg” said he always wants to go all out to impress his lady. He revealed that he had spent the last two valentines with her. “The first Valentines I took her out to a dinner and presented her with some chocolates and perfume, clearly I was trying to impress her but now I feel I have to keep that standard.” He however said he was now trying to spend less but still trying to make her feel special. “I doubt it will match the first time we celebrated together because I obviously spent more then, but it will still be as romantic this time,” he added.
Some men believe in spending because they think that is what most women want. “Girls love us to spend on them, especially during days like Valentines, when you don’t buy her anything your love is suddenly questioned,” says Teddy Mokgosi. He says that he has had experiences with past girlfriends where their fights were about him not buying a birthday or Valentines’ gift and he has resorted to buying a gift, or spending money on a dinner or lodges just to “keep the peace”.
Another couple seen at the same mall revealed that they both agreed about spending less for valentines’ because they didn’t need a day to validate their love or relationship. They said that they intended on spending the day like any other and go out together in the night, like always.
Contrary to popular belief, most women do not make a fuss about the price tag of a gift they receive.
Host of popular RB2 program Night Caps, Otshidile Onkabetse believes that a lot of people want to be appreciated and want it expressed through gifts. “I think every man feels the pressure whether a woman expresses her desire to be spoilt on the day or not. Shopping outlets and the media are doing a real good job at reminding people to do something for their partners on valentine’s and while others may turn a blind eye, most people feel the pressure.
On the flip side there could be some ladies who make it known that they want a man to spend on them, but i think it’s only because they want to be appreciated, i should think that if men only knew that women just want to be appreciated and that it’s not only about the gifts but rather the thought and the effort. Even if he did something extraordinary which showed he loved and appreciated her without spending money she would still feel special,” she said.
She says that she personally doesn’t care much about the gift or its price but would still appreciate it “I would just like someone to go the extra mile to celebrate the love we share and not the day. I think that’s where people miss the whole point of valentine’s, it’s not just a day set apart to buy gifts and celebrate the day itself but a day to celebrate love, if people saw it that way their approach towards the day would be different and even buying gifts would be less burdensome on those who purchase and for those who receive,” the radio personality asserted.
For 22 year old Precious Jansen, using money to buy expensive gifts on Valentine’s is a total waste. “Although it is sweet that someone would want to buy something for their loved one, I don’t think people need to spend money on luxurious stuff, even a home cooked meal would do the job,” she said.
While it is very unlikely that sharing priced gifts on one glorified day alone could in any way assure a happy or healthy relationship, it is worth noting that the high of that one day does add memories to one’s love life, but then again, with another Valentine’s literally upon us, it’s worth wondering how deep a whole we have put in our pockets, or of those we love.
Minister of Presidential Affairs, Governance and Public Administration, Kabo Morwaeng together with Permanent Secretary to the President (PSP) Elias Magosi, this week refused to name and shame the worst performing Ministries and to disclose the best performing Ministries since beginning of 12th parliament including the main reasons for underperformance.
Of late there have been a litany of complaints from both ends of the aisle with cabinet members accused of providing parliament with unsatisfactory responses to the questions posed. In fact for some Botswana Democratic Party (BDP) backbenchers a meeting with the ministers and party leadership is overdue to address their complaints. Jwaneng-Mabutsane MP, Mephato Reatile is also not happy with ministers’ performance.
Bokamoso Private Hospital is battling a P10 million legal suit for a botched fibroids operation which resulted in a woman losing an entire womb and her prospects of bearing children left at zero.
The same suit has also befallen the Attorney General of Botswana who is representing the Ministry of Health and Wellness for their contributory negligence of having the unlawful removal of a patient, Goitsemang Magetse’s womb.
According to the court papers, Magetse says that sometimes in November 2019, she was diagnosed with fibroids at Marina Hospital where upon she was referred to Bokamoso Private Hospital to schedule an appointment for an operation to remove the fibroids, which she did.
Magetse continues that at the instance of one Dr Li Wang, the surgeon who performed the operation, and unknown to her, an operation to remove her whole womb was conducted instead. According to Magetse, it was only through a Marina Hospital regular check-up that she got to learn that her whole womb has been removed.
“At the while she was under the belief that only her fibroids have been removed. By doing so, the hospital has subjected itself to some serious delictual liability in that it performed a serious and life changing operation on patient who was under the belief that she was doing a completely different operation altogether. It thus came as a shock when our client learnt that her womb had been removed, without her consent,” said Magetse’s legal representatives, Kanjabanga and Associates in their summons.
The letter further says, “this is an infringement of our client‘s rights and this infringement has dire consequences on her to the extent that she can never bear children again”. ‘It is our instruction therefore, to claim as we hereby do, damages in the sum of BWP 10,000,000 (ten million Pula) for unlawful removal of client’s womb,” reads Kanjabanga Attorneys’ papers. The defendants are yet to respond to the plaintiff’s papers.
What are fibroids?
Fibroids are tumors made of smooth muscle cells and fibrous connective tissue. They develop in the uterus. It is estimated that 70 to 80 percent of women will develop fibroids in their lifetime — however, not everyone will develop symptoms or require treatment.
The most important characteristic of fibroids is that they’re almost always benign, or noncancerous. That said, some fibroids begin as cancer — but benign fibroids can’t become cancer. Cancerous fibroids are very rare. Because of this fact, it’s reasonable for women without symptoms to opt for observation rather than treatment.
Studies show that fibroids grow at different rates, even when a woman has more than one. They can range from the size of a pea to (occasionally) the size of a watermelon. Even if fibroids grow that large, we offer timely and effective treatment to provide relief.
The Alliance for Progressives (AP) President Ndaba Gaolathe has said that despite major accolades that Botswana continues to receive internationally with regard to the state of economy, the prospects for the future are imperilled.
Delivering his party Annual Policy Statement on Thursday, Gaolathe indicated that Botswana is in a state of do or die, and that the country’s economy is on a sick bed. With a major concern for poverty, Gaolathe pointed out that almost half of Botswana’s people are ravaged by or are about to sink into poverty. “Our young people have lost the fire to dream about what they could become,” he said.