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VALENTINE’S DAY: Put a price tag on love day!


Stumbling upon headlines that Americans will spend a stunning $18.9 billion just to celebrate Valentine’s Day was, to say the least disturbing.  Undeniably, Valentine’s is the hallmark of love and spending for love is acceptable to some extent, but I believe by now even the worst suckers for the “special day” know by now how commercialized the day is, but some people believe in splurging their good money to demonstrate their feelings for that special someone, love and money have always gone together!


It is quite intriguing too that even locally, a lot of people have spent to celebrate the day, what with our shops going all out with the crazy specials on lingerie, chocolates, lovey-dovey mugs, teddy bears and a list of other totally useless items.


What is preposterous however is the notion of self-gifting on Valentine’s Day. Some women have been known to buy and send themselves flowers or chocolates or a cuddly, fluffy red and white toy while some even have gone into lingerie shops to buy themselves matching pairs of lacy underwear.


Valentine’s has really come a long way. For centuries, the day was a mash-up of a wild Roman pagan festival known as Lupercalia, a Roman festival during which men slaughtered a goat and a dog and used the hides to lash the women in order to enhance their fertility and the celebration of two catholic saints (both named Valentine) who were executed on February 14, by Emperor Claudius II of ancient Rome. By the middle ages, it was the norm to give loved ones hand-made cards or flowers during valentines.


The Valentine’s we celebrate today was most probably spurred by entrepreneurship, and research suggests that we have Richard Cadbury and Esther Howland to thank or this. Cadbury belonged to the famous chocolate making family, he then had an idea to package the delectable in heart-shaped boxes and selling them, this was in the mid-1800s.


Howland built her reputation as the “Mother of the American Valentine” by designing and popularizing high-quality lace-paper Valentine cards featuring messages of love and devotion through her company, the New England Valentine Company which she reportedly kept thriving for decades.


A random survey in a local mall shows that most men spend only because they feel obligated. An elderly gentleman spotted at a bookstore’s Greeting Cards section said he was buying his wife and mother of his three children a card. “She simply wouldn’t be happy if I don’t buy her anything, I buy her simple things like a card or chocolate, just anything special,” he said adding that if he could spend more he would because it would make his wife happy.


On asking him if he ever got anything from his wife, the gentleman revealed that he has always gotten gifts from her and she was the one who made him believe in buying valentines gifts. “I think she gives thought to the gifts she buys because I can keep the gifts she bought me before, last year I got a foot massager, and I have shirts, t-shirts and even socks from way back.  I tried to discourage her in the beginning because I was clueless about these kinds of things but failed,” he said.


Another younger looking man, who only wanted to be identified as “Kg” said he always wants to go all out to impress his lady. He revealed that he had spent the last two valentines with her. “The first Valentines I took her out to a dinner and presented her with some chocolates and perfume, clearly I was trying to impress her but now I feel I have to keep that standard.” He however said he was now trying to spend less but still trying to make her feel special. “I doubt it will match the first time we celebrated together because I obviously spent more then, but it will still be as romantic this time,” he added.


Some men believe in spending because they think that is what most women want. “Girls love us to spend on them, especially during days like Valentines, when you don’t buy her anything your love is suddenly questioned,” says Teddy Mokgosi.
He says that he has had experiences with past girlfriends where their fights were about him not buying a birthday or Valentines’ gift and he has resorted to buying a gift, or spending money on a dinner or lodges just to “keep the peace”.


Another couple seen at the same mall revealed that they both agreed about spending less for valentines’ because they didn’t need a day to validate their love or relationship.  They said that they intended on spending the day like any other and go out together in the night, like always.


Contrary to popular belief, most women do not make a fuss about the price tag of a gift they receive.


Host of popular RB2 program Night Caps, Otshidile Onkabetse believes that a lot of people want to be appreciated and want it expressed through gifts.  “I think every man feels the pressure whether a woman expresses her desire to be spoilt on the day or not. Shopping outlets and the media are doing a real good job at reminding people to do something for their partners on valentine’s and while others may turn a blind eye, most people feel the pressure.

On the flip side there could be some ladies who make it known that they want a man to spend on them, but i think it’s only because they want to be appreciated, i should think that if men only knew that women just want to be appreciated and that it’s not only about the gifts but rather the thought and the effort. Even if he did something extraordinary which showed he loved and appreciated her without spending money she would still feel special,” she said.


She says that she personally doesn’t care much about the gift or its price but would still appreciate it “I would just like someone to go the extra mile to celebrate the love we share and not the day. I think that’s where people miss the whole point of valentine’s, it’s not just a day set apart to buy gifts and celebrate the day itself but a day to celebrate love, if people saw it that way their approach towards the day would be different and even buying gifts would be less burdensome on those who purchase and for those who receive,” the radio personality asserted.


For 22 year old Precious Jansen, using money to buy expensive gifts on Valentine’s is a total waste. “Although it is sweet that someone would want to buy something for their loved one, I don’t think people need to spend money on luxurious stuff, even a home cooked meal would do the job,” she said.


While it is very unlikely that sharing priced gifts on one glorified day alone could in any way assure a happy or healthy relationship, it is worth noting that the high of that one day does add memories to one’s love life, but then again, with another Valentine’s literally upon us, it’s worth wondering how deep a whole we have put in our pockets, or of those we love.

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Free at last: Ian Kirby Speaks Out

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WeekendPost: Why did you move between the Attorney General and the Bench?

Ian Kirby: I was a member of the Attorney General’s Chambers three times- first in 1969 as Assistant State Counsel, then in 1990 as Deputy Attorney General (Civil), and finally in 2004 as Attorney General. I was invited in 2000 by the late Chief Justice Julian Nganunu to join the Bench. I was persuaded by former President Festus Mogae to be his Attorney General in 2004 as, he said, it was my duty to do so to serve the nation. I returned to the Judiciary as soon as I could – in May 2006, when there was a vacancy on the High Court Bench.

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Civil society could rescue Botswana’s flawed democracy’ 

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In the paper titled “E-government and democracy in Botswana: Observational and experimental evidence on the effects of e-government usage on political attitudes,” the researchers offer a strongly worded commentary on Botswana’s ‘flawed democracy.’  The authors noted that with Botswana’s Parliament structurally – and in practice – feeble, the potential for checks and balances on executive power rests with the judiciary.

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Bangwato in Serowe — where Bamagwato Paramount Chief and former President Lt. Gen Ian Khama originates – disagree on whether they must send a delegation to dialogue with President Mokgweetsi Masisi’s family in Moshupa. Just last week, a meeting was called by the Regent of Bamagwato, Kgosi Sediegeng Kgamane, at Serowe Kgotla to, among others, update the tribe on the whereabouts of their Kgosi (Khama). 

Further, his state of health was also discussed, with Kgamane telling the attendees that all is well with Khama. The main reason for the meeting was to deliberate on the escalating tension between Khama and Masisi — a three-year bloodletting going unabated.

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