In the fast paced world of social networking and technology, courting as we know it has died. FEATURE WRITER ANGELA MDLALANI explores the clichéd world of likes, pokes, and simple clicks that come with the pervasive Facebook stalking and how the dynamics have killed the dating phenomenon.
The dating game has changed. From a time where there used to be a mystery behind getting to know the other person, the drill these days is as convenient as accepting a friend request to set ablaze an affair!
While some people appreciate the convenience technology has brought to the dating world because the gap between them and their crush has been significantly bridged, it is also worth noting that the process too has killed chivalry as would be suitors now manipulate the whole system.
With traditional courtship, asking someone to go out with you required courage, and a considerable investment of ego if not strategical planning, being rejection in person does hurt. But a quick Facebook message, whatsapp or text message removes the all that charm, and maybe if rejected by text it doesn’t hurt much? It should very much resemble casting the net and hoping for a catch, if you wait too long you are bound to forget you dropped the net, or better yet give up and move on!
Imagine the one person who lives in your neighborhood, you meet them every day on your way to work, then one day they send you a friend request on Facebook and inbox you a bunch of 3’s and semi colons and closed brackets, supposedly meaning to tell u how crazy they are over you, how they love you. Seriously, they are wooing you, with hashtags and emoticons!
Because there really is no planning about this new dating trend, the approach too is lazy and suitors tend to use a trial and error method. Many women are familiar with “Ke go cheke?” or “O ncheka leng” as the opening to the day’s wooing process. Ke go cheke loosely translated means “can I come over?” and the latter translates to “when are you coming over”?
Kebonye Tebogo, 28 relates that strangers have courted her through Facebook and her greatest fears were entertaining a serial killer or a mentally disturbed individual with ulterior motives.
“I would rather go old school as that way you know whom you are dealing with as opposed to being wooed online and standing a great deal of risk to your life because you never know who for real you are chatting with. Remember identities are easy to manipulate and people never really use their own photos whilst at it,” she allayed.
According to Tebogo, online wooing never intends to flatter, “You get people who just shoot out that they don’t have a girlfriend or tell you a soppy story of how their last r/ship “ended all the while coming out as too good to believe.”
A lot of activists and pro technology users have argued that conservatism has no place in today’s world because as much as people want relationships, they have demanding schedules and courting, dating and waiting for that first kiss is not an option for many. And with the convenience of smart phones and access to social media, one can easily stalk, judge and scope out their potential fling online!
In the typical world, dating follows the predictable pattern whereby the man is the active party, he is the one who shows interest first and asks the woman to go out with him, he organizes everything whereas the woman on the other hand reacts by either accepting or rejecting the man’s overtures. Going out on a date could be something as mundane taking walks at dusk together and trying to get to know each other, and there is that prospect of a future relationship.
Of course the times moved and there was the paid dinners and expensive gifts and general splashing of money, but that is a topic for another day!
My point is whether we like it or not, the digital age has written a new set of play rules for modern romance. It is now common to meet someone and get the question “do you have whatsapp?”, or “Are you on Facebook?” Wooing as we know it has changed, and no one takes their time to know the other anymore.
Web searches are pretty much to blame, if Google can give you someone’s background information by linking you to their social media profile, or any other online profile, there really is no need for that date that would most probably lead to uncomfortable questioned being answered in person.
I really do not care much about culture or change or the century we are in, emotions are just that, and faux trend can replace that. Why is the world developing apps “to find your perfect match”? Admittedly, some of the apps like Facebook and whatsapp play very significant roles in long distance relationships, but even so there is still something uneasy about letting “apps” and gadgets meddle in one’s love life.
Technology has really found a way to strip out the remaining traces of human interaction.
However, in a world where relationship validity is determined by a relationship status on Facebook, this may all be acceptable.
An entrepreneur who spoke on the condition of anonymity argued that while technology played a role in the changes in dating, it was not all to blame.
“Of course it is easier to use whatsapp or BBM to try start a fling with someone, but the fact of the matter is times have changed, women have asked for equality and I guess a quick text asking someone to hang constitutes as equality,” he argued.
According to the man in his late 20s, men should not have to beg to be given a chance to be with the woman, the playground has to be leveled in that women should not be given preferential treatment as equals to men.
Minister of Health Dr Edwin Dikoloti says Africa member states call on World Health Organization (WHO) to ensure equitable resource allocation for 2024-2025. Dr Dikoloti was speaking this week at the WHO Executive Board Meeting in Geneva, Switzerland.
He said countries agreed that there is need to address the budget and funding imbalances by increasing the programme budget share of countries and regions to 75% for the next year.
“The proposed budget for 2024-2025 marks an important milestone as it is the first in Programme Budget in which country offices will be allocated more than half of the total budget for the biennium. We highly welcome this approach which will enable the organization to deliver on its mandate while fulfilling the expectations for transparency, efficiency and accountability.”
The Botswana Health Minister commended member states on the extension of the General Programme of Work (GPD 13) and the Secretariat work to monitor the progress towards the triple billion targets, and the health-related SDGs.
“We welcome the Director’s general proposed five priorities which have crystalized into the “five Ps” that are aligned with the GPW 13 extension. Impact can only be achieved through close coordination with, and support to national health authorities. As such, the strengthening of country offices is instrumental, with particular focus on strengthening national health systems and on promoting more equitable access to health services.”
According to Dr Dikoloti, the majority of countries with UHC index that is below the global median are in the WHO Africa region. “For that, we call on the WHO to enhance capacity at the regional and national levels in order to accelerate progress. Currently, the regional office needs both technical and financial support in order to effectively address and support country needs.”
The Minister of Foreign Affairs, Dr. Lemogang Kwape says Botswana has not taken any position regarding the killing of a renowned human rights lawyer, Thulani Maseko, who was gunned down at his house in Mbabane, Eswatini.
In a brief interview with WeekendPost, Dr Kwape said Botswana has not yet taken any position regarding his death. He said the purported incident should be thoroughly probed before Botswana can form an opinion based on the findings of the inquiries.
“Botswana generally condemns any killing of human life by all means,” says Dr. Kwape. He wouldn’t want to be dragged on whether Botswana will support the suspension of Eswatini from SADC.
“We will be guided by SADC organ Troika if they can be an emergency meeting. I am not sure when the meeting will be called by Namibian president,“ he said.
However, the Namibian president Hage Geingob notes with deep concern reports coming out of Eswatini about the killing of Mr. Maseko. In a statement, he called upon the “Government of the Kingdom of Eswatini to ensure that the killing of Maseko is swiftly, transparently and comprehensively investigated, and that any or all persons suspected of committing this heinous crime are brought to justice.”
Maseko was chairperson of the Multi-Stakeholder Forum which was established as a coalition of non-State actors to advocate for a process of national political dialogue aimed at resolving the security and political challenges confronting the Kingdom.
“SADC expresses its deepest and heartfelt condolences to the family of Mr. Maseko, his friends, colleagues, and to the people of the Kingdom of Eswatini for the loss of Mr. Maseko. In this context, SADC further calls upon the people of the Kingdom of Eswatini to remain calm, exercise due care and consideration whilst the appropriate structures conduct the investigations and bring the matter to completion,” the statement says.
Geingob reiterated the need for peaceful resolution of the political and security challenges affecting the country.
Meanwhile political activists are calling on SADC to suspend Eswatini from the block including the African Union as well.
State prosecutor, Seeletso Ookeditse revealed before the Broadhurst Magistrate Jobbie Moilatshimo that the third accused involved in the murder of Barulaganye Aston, has interfered with the State witnesses again.
The second and third accused (Lefty Kosie and Outlwile Aston) were previously accused of interference when they were caught in possession of cellphones in prison. They were further accused of planning to kill the deceased’s brother, who is currently the guardian to the children of the deceased.
Ookeditse indicated that Outlwile had earlier went to challenge the magistrate’s decision of denying him bail at the High Court before Judge Michael Motlhabi.
“The third accused approached the High Court and made a bail application, which was dismissed on the same day,” Ookeditse said.
However, even after the High Court verdict on their bail application, the duo (Kosie and Aston) has once again applied for bail this week.
Ookeditse plead with the court to stop the accused from abusing the court process.
“Yesterday, Directorate of Public Prosecutions (DPP) received papers of his bail application filed before the Broadhurst Magistrates Court. However, the papers do not speak to changed circumstances, therefore this back and forth about bail must be put to a stop,” said the State prosecutor.
While giving evidence before court, the Investigations Officer, Detective Inspector Quite Zhalamonto, said his investigations have proved that there is interference continuing regarding the accused trio.
He told the court that on the 12th of January 2023, he received a report from Thato Aston, who is the son of the accused and the deceased. The son had alleged to the Investigation Officer that he received a call from one Phillip Molwantwa.
According to Zhalamonto, Thato revealed that Molwatwa indicated that he was from prison on a visit to the Outlwile Aston and went on to ask where he was staying and where his siblings (Aston’s children) are staying.
“Thato revealed that Phillip went on to ask if he or his siblings saw their father murdering their mother, and he was referring to the crime scene. Thato told me that he, however, refused to answer the questions as he was afraid especially because he was asked about where him and his siblings stay,” said Zhalamonto.
Zhalamonto alluded to the court that he then went to Orange to confirm the communication between Thato and Molwantwa where he found the case.
“I have arrested Philip yesterday and when I interviewed him, he did not deny that he knows Aston and that he has indeed called Thato and asked questions as to where him and his siblings resides even though he failed to give reasons for asking such questions,” Zhalamonto told the court.
He further revealed that Molwantwa indicated that he had received a call from an unknown man who refused to reveal himself.
“Phillip told me that the unknown man said he was sent by the accused (Aston), and that Aston had instructed him to tell me to check if there was still some money in his bank accounts, and he also wanted to know where the kids were residing, the unknown man even asked him to meet at Main Mall” the Investigation Officer told the court.
He further informed the court that he is working tirelessly to identify the “unknown caller” and the route of the cell number.
Furthermore, the fourth accused, Kebaleboge Ntsebe, has revealed to the court through a letter that she was abused and tortured by the Botswana Police Services. She wrote in her letter that she suffered miscarriage as a result of being beaten by the police.
Ntsebe is on bail, while a bail ruling for Aston and Kosie will be delivered on the 6th of next month