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A woman’s struggle for pregnancy

ISPIRATIONAL: Tlamelo has shared her story (Photo by Fify Loewen)

My journey through endemetriosis – Tlamelo’s story

FIFY LOEWEN unpacks Tlamelo’s experience with Endemetriosis, six surgeries and failed IVF.

“I have endometriosis, was diagnosed in 2007, through a laparascopic surgery done at Gaborone Private Hospital. Prior to that, I had been struggling with severe pain. I was diagnosed with (most severe stage) endometriosis.

I got married in 2006, 10 years ago. I was hoping that by now, I would have children. I have been struggling to conceive due to endometriosis for years. I’ve had a total of 6 surgeries; 3 laparascopic surgeries and 3 laparatomys. Surgeries were done both to help with the pain and aid conception. Unfortunately I still haven’t been able to conceive. I was in denial for years, hoping one day I would just fall pregnant. I mean why shouldn’t I? It seemed very easy as most of my friends have children.
Countless Pregnancy tests, and failed IVF

I’ve lost count of how many pregnancy tests I’ve done. I used to get anxious and would just go ahead and test without having to wait for a period. The results were always the same, “negative.” I always knew I had the option to do IVF. However, IVF is very expensive and not a definite solution. People spend thousands of Pulas doing IVF, with no guarantee of conception. IVF is also not an easy process; one has to go through painful injections and side effects of IVF medication. It’s a process that can leave one feeling exploited and absolutely miserable.

It is embarrassing to be married and not have kids. You feel like you’ve failed as a woman. The pressure to have kids comes from friends, colleagues and family. It is also impossible to explain to everyone why you cannot have kids. This is a very sensitive matter that I think has been turned into a taboo in our society. To deal with it, I’ve always told people that I was not ready to have children. That way I felt they would leave me alone but they never do.

Finally, in 2015, I decided to give IVF a try. Whilst I knew of the hassle I was getting myself into, I had no idea how bad it was going to be. When you go through IVF, you go into it hoping that you would be one of the lucky few who do it once and achieve a pregnancy but that was not do be for me.

Before I started my IVF journey, I had to go through some surgeries. The last two of the 6 surgeries were two laparatomys. Both times I was told it was necessary, as it would increase chances for success. I was seeing one doctor here in Botswana, who did a few tests and finally removed my blocked tubes and adhesions that I had due to endo. This surgery was done in May 2015.

I was then referred to a clinic in Joburg for my first cycle of IVF. After a terrible ordeal of going through injections and terrible side effects, I did not fall pregnant. It was money down the drain, just like that. Thousands of Pulas gone!

New lab & gynae and how I managed to get 3 embryos frozen

I then decided to see a different gynaecologist, who then referred me to a different lab in South Africa, also a fertility clinic. I did not want to go back to the first lab, my experience there was horrific. I was told by the new lab that my uterus was in a bad state, that there was no way I was going to achieve a pregnancy without an operation.

They also explained that my IVF journey was going to be a little longer than usual because of endometriosis. They explained that for someone with endo, they do not do a fresh embryo transfer but have to freeze embryos so they could allow my system to calm down before the transfer. In November 2015, I went under the knife yet again. I had a laparatomy to remove fibroids and endo attached to my ovaries. Endo is very stubborn, it keeps coming back.

The 2nd lab is more expensive but definitely more advanced and professional. I started my second IVF cycle in January 2016 after recovering from my operation. And yet again, injections and terrible side effects. The Doctors were able to freeze 3 embryos for me.

I feel like I already have 3 babies waiting to be born. I am very hopeful and excited for this cycle. Transfer will be done sometime soon. I cannot wait to hold my babies. Even though I said I’m not a mother, I feel like for as long as my embbies are still alive, though frozen, I am a mother and I worry about them.
Juggling work, marriage, and endometriosis and trying to conceive

Finally one may wonder how I am able to juggle marriage, work, endometriosis and trying to conceive. It is not easy but I manage somehow. I have a very demanding job. I work for a local university as Director – Curriculum Development and Quality Assurance. I was recently promoted to this position, after working as a Manager for the last four years. I am very thrilled as this allows me to pay for my very high medical bills. Medical aid does not cover IVF, regardless of the reasons one needs it.

When you have endo, you get a few good days. I work very hard during those good days to cover for the most days when I’m unable to perform my duties at work. That way, I am hardly ever lagging behind. This strategy has helped me to succeed in my job and hence the promotion. I have a very understanding and accommodative employer.

Family, hubby, friends and Lysa keep me going

Above everything, I have a very good support structure, my family, husband and friends. Without them I wouldn’t be able to cope. Friends may not always understand why you are turning down social events. Endo takes a toll on your body. Recently, a support group formed by Gaona Tlhasana and Kgomotso Mpho Gagosi embarked to raise awareness on endometriosis. They organised the first ever endometriosis walk in March 2016. There, I was able to meet other endo warriors and later joined the support group.

We call each other “Endo Sisters” This group has helped me a lot. I’m not as depressed as I used to be. Now I know that, I am not alone. We all go through similar challenges and are able to help each other with ideas and provide support. My friend Lysa was able to join me on the endo walk, which was started at 0500 am; not many people can do that for you. Lysa is my rock. Doing the walk together made us stronger as friends, now she understands what I go through and is able to emphathize with me.

I felt like pouring my heart out, it somehow makes me feel better. I should do this more often, even if no one will read.”

Laparoscopy:  is the primary surgical choice for diagnosing and treatment for endometriosis. Laparoscopy involves inserting a tiny telescope connected to a camera called a laparoscope through a small incision in the umbilicus in order to view the reproductive organs.

Laparatomy: more significant form of surgery where a large incision is made in the abdominal wall to actually perform a definitive surgical procedure.  It is particularly used where large lumps of endometriosis (endometriomas) form in the ovaries and are difficult to treat with drug therapy or laparoscopic surgery

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WeekendLife

The art of mastering instrumentals

12th April 2021
Kagiso "Fella" Kenosi

You will know a tree by its fruits, the same way you will know a music producer by their works.

Top music producers in the country have set themselves apart through the quality music they produce and reap the results of international recognition from as far as the United States of America.

These producers are behind every star performer, listening and analyzing each and every note. When artists perform a vocal swell, rising to an octave that sounds like it’s going to shatter voice box, it’s easy to forget that someone was on the other side of the glass asking questions like, “Can you hit that note every night, or will it hurt too badly? Maybe we should lower the octave to save your voice?”

Producers make hundreds of decisions in each song, not to mention the push and pull relationships they have with talented performers.These relationships can make or break careers. Some of your favorite bands and artists wouldn’t be so memorable without a great producer helping to guide their distinct voices.

Kagiso Kenosi, or better known as Fella in the entertainment industry, is only 31-years old but he has already left his imprint in the music industry. The young chap, originally from Palapye, is not in the industry to add numbers, but to do his magic working behind the scenes producing hit song after hit song.

When most producers went to school to produce the hits that we hear today, Fella’s foundation and passion for producing came from being active in church.

“I grew up in a catholic orientated family where music is the essence of our religion. The love for music in its entirety emerged from enjoying singing at church and blossomed over the years as I grew up, being exposed to the internet and software’s such as fruity loops.”

Fella says he then learnt how to make beats and proceeded with vocal processing so besides the love for music, he had an amazing group of people who helped him reach his life dream; being the best in music production. The sky was the limit for Fella.

Unfortunately for so many music producers locally, this kind of hustle is basically about being famous. Some of them bite off more than they can chew just for a quick buck that doesn’t even go a long away for them. At the end of it all, these fly by night prima-donnas end up cutting corners and producing subpar records which eventually leads to a premature death for their careers.

Fella’s advice is that fellow colleagues should be patient and continue learning the craft, even if it means taking online tutorials. “Even though I’m still learning too, for I believe music is a fast infinite universe where no one can never say they know it all, I think believing in what one does, the level of creativity and being able to stand alone can do magic.

We living in an era where people go through a lot, so it is imperative for a music producer to be able to relate to those kind of situations. This takes only the right instrumentals, which will compliment emotions of an artist.”

The most asked question outside the music industry is; who chooses the instruments for a song, is it the artist or the producer? Fella gave his take;

“I make instrumentals and keep them until an artist comes to work on a song. That’s when I advise on whether I think the concept they chose goes hand in hand with the instrumentals. We will then look for a more appropriate song.

In some cases, artists can come and we record vocals without an instrumental and then get to make a beat on top of the recorded vocal which in that case guides me to make a relevant instrumental,” he said in an exclusive interview with WeekendLife on Wednesday.

Digging more into finding the difference between a producer and an engineer, Fella clarified that there is not much difference. There is actually a thin line between the two even though an engineer does more than a producer when dishing out a song.

“We use the word production to credit people who only make beats. Engineers are people who record vocals, clean them, do the mixing and master the song preparing the record for radio. I must say an engineer, does the critical components of a song.”

As young as he is, Fella has been through thick and thin with young artists. It has been a roller-coaster of emotions, because, frankly some of these fledging artists are way too complicated to work with. Fella admits that he too has flaws but c’est la vie, you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

“It’s always a blessing and quite exciting because these different people of different energies and mind-sets and creativity will humble you. It’s a chastening experience and also accords me with experience to manoeuvre and adjust to people with different characters.

So truly, it has helped me grow as a person, and a producer.”

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WeekendLife

BOMU spruce up dirty laundry

30th March 2021
BOMU awards

Botswana Musicians Union (BOMU) is known for its bad reputation that has been getting worse over the years. There has been a lot of chinwag, squabbles and the organization literally lost touch. It has gotten so bad that stakeholders pulled out, and members were left with no choice but to face the music alone.

Just when you’d think the waters are calm, the new Executive Committee awarded a fledgling company, Total Music Group, to handle the 2021 music awards. This move was seen as a biased decision that got BOMU members bent out of shape.

However, BOMU Secretary General, Rasina Rasina told Weekendlife that the Executive Committee that it has many irons in the fire. He indeed admitted without reluctance that, BOMU has been clouded by hubbub.

“We pledged when the new administration took over that it would begin with cleaning our own house. We have built structures as we had promised and we are glad that they are fully functional. One of those is the disciplinary committee.”

“BOMU has for a long time appeared to be lacking discipline and proper laid down procedures. This has led to the organization losing out big in its endeavour to serve its members and the entire music fraternity. The National Executive Committee, chapter committees and sub-committees have committed to ensuring that non proper governance and accountability shall take centre stage and this is all that is happening,” Rasina told Weekendlife on Tuesday.

Rebuilding and rebranding a disintegrated intuition such as BOMU is not just a walk in the park, it needs concerted efforts and team work to actually reach that goal. A stitch in time saves nine, but as for BOMU, the entire union failed to address its dares a long time ago, but the union says everything is on track in recuperating public trust and fixing the mess created then.

BOMU Research and Policy Committee is hard finalizing a new code of conduct which will contribute significantly to how members and leadership conduct themselves and relate with each other for the furtherance of BOMU’s mandate, Weekendlife has been reliably informed.

“We are doing everything according to our constitution, logic and reason. We advise our members that they should point out where the constitution has been breached and that they are at liberty to follow due process and report any misconduct to the disciplinary committee,” said Rasina.

This is following the suspension of some executive committee members and BOMU subscribed members for questioning the integrity in awarding the music awards tender. Some members, told Weekendlife that they will seek legal advice on the matter.

“We do have members who have already appeared before the disciplinary committee on various charges and decisions are yet to be taken. We also have members who are yet to appear before the committee for various complaints levelled against them. Current suspensions are related to various complaints and offences.”

With regard to appointing Total Music Group, BOMU National Executive Committee says it used Article 9.3.19 of its constitution. The article says; “The National Executive Committee of BOMU shall have the authority to enter into legally binding contracts on behalf of the Union.’’

Rasina says the leadership needed a company to manage, host and sell the BOMU awards for five years consecutively so as to attain stability and refurbish the brand image of both the music awards and the organization. “Without any money at our disposal, we debated on the best model and agreed that we should engage a company that also has the capacity to mobilize resources. We used our discretion and decided on a direct appointment model which is perfectly legal and constitutional.”

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WeekendLife

SENEO PERRY: Beauty with a purpose

24th March 2021
Seneo Perry

To a stranger, Seneo Perry would describe herself as a young darling zealous about wildlife conservation, international travel and tourism enthusiast.

She is also a staunch believer in empowering young children through educational programs that could expose them to live improved livelihoods.

Perry is a former beauty queen (Miss Earth Botswana 2020). For her, a beauty queen should get down and put in some work, get dirt and make an impact. Of course a picture paints a thousand words, and judging from her successful projects, she lives the talk.

During her reign, Perry adopted the SOS Children’s Village. This is a home for 92 orphaned and less privileged children. She introduced few projects to aid the running of the children village, at the same time sourcing sponsors. She named one of her projects ‘Restoring the Prime Colors of the Earth.’

Restoring The Prime Colors of the Earth was founded on the basis of teaching children about the importance of conservation and environmental protection through tree planting and vegetable gardens.

The project, she told Weekendlife this week, gained local and international recognition, particularly from tourism magazines.

COVID-19 came over and messed up her strategies for the year. Perry however did not cry over spilt milk instead she was smart enough to divert into other streams of raising funds to execute her obligations.

Perry did not put all of her eggs in one basket by doing something that could make her get infected, but rather sold t-shirts that would double as a promotion strategy dubbed #PeopleWildlifeEnvironment. To this date, she raised over P7000.

“I love being out in the wild and promoting sustainable tourism. I would then pick the best 10 children that worked very hard at the project I have with them and introduce them to the wild with the money I raised,” she said in an exclusive interview.

“The idea is to stick to making the trip for the children educational especially on the aspect of conservation because realistically speaking tourism is the backbone of conservation.

I want them to have first-hand experience with the African elephant and visit the Elephant Havens Wildlife Foundation in Maun. Unfortunately due to floods in Moremi Game Reserve, the plan of a game drive has been aborted.”

Initially, Perry says she wanted the children to have been those from the SOS Children’s Village. She had to put them on ice due to insufficient funds to transport them to Maun. This however did not dishearten Perry, instead she located Bana Ba Letsatsi (in Maun) to embark on this journey.

She told Weekendlife that the trip will be undertaken today (Saturday 20th March 2021).“Tourism has always been the backbone of conservation and it needs to be protected. Therefore, it is imperative to introduce children to wild spaces so they get to appreciate the ecosystem in the wild.

These young children will be leaders and decision makers in the near future. Decisions made will either cause a catastrophe to the wild or help it recover to a point wherein both humans and animals co-exist.

Seneo Perry is an environmentalist equipped with a Bachelor’s Degree in Entrepreneurial Business Leadership from Sheffield Hallam University and Miss Earth Botswana 2019 finalist. She was crowned Queen in 2020.

She is also a member of Kalahari Conservation Society, a conservation society which is instrumental in environmental initiatives and activities that concern the environment.

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