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Sharing nudes is actually phenomenal

The age of sending nudes is upon us. Sending naked pictures has long been possible, but in the 21st century it’s astonishingly easy. There is time to send them, how to shoot them and how to keep yourself safe. There’s no getting away from it, we’re a world of over sharers.

Whether popping political opinions in a Twitter thread or Instagramming a pain au chocolat, it’s never been easier to let the world know who you are. Technological advances have revolutionised dating experiences and sex lives too: apps, sexting, sex over FaceTime, and, of course, the big one. Nudes.

The term ‘’send nudes’’ is such a second nature for anyone on a dating app or social media that it quickly became a meme and can be seen graffitied all over the world. Although sending a naked photo has been possible for years- albeit more grainy, slow to load, or even in print, the farther back in time you go- it’s only in the last few years that the act of sending a photo of, or including, your tackle has become a regular NBD pat of the seduction process. High spec cameras, filtering and high-speed internet connections mean you can have the idea, whip it out, take the snap and send with barely a moment’s thought.

In the reader survey to mark GQ’s 30th anniversary, it was revealed 40 per cent of 16 to 24-year-olds have agreed sending nudes was the new normal. But why the change” is this purely a generational thing? Journalist Calvin reckons it’s an extension of the already popular thirst traps, the next level of seduction. ‘’Theoretically people have more dating options than ever. It’s a bit like in a game show when they wheel out the grand prize. ‘Here’s what you could win!’’

The rules around sending nudes seem fairly simple, but boundaries are overstepped constantly- usually by men. Most people would say an unsolicited dick pic is unwelcome- it’s much more polite to ask if they’d like one, or respond to a request- and yet men can’t seem to help themselves. There’s the view, perhaps, they ‘’might as well’’, but given they’re up against men actually using their charm to encourage a dick pic request, do they really think it’ll get them one straight back in return?

Unwelcome nudes are the top turnoff, but a close second would be a nude photo with zero artistry. There’s something quite depressing about asking for a nude and then being sent a snap, shot from above, of a red, angry penis subjected to the mercy of ugly lightning and a careless photographer. Obviously, turn-ons can vary, but context is key. Most women agreed that they tended to take more time over them, composing them to look not only sexy, but feel confident too. Men, however, preferred a more direct approach.

Lingerie designer Marisa says a topless pic does much more for her than a gonzo-shot dick pic and she much prefers to send than receive- when she can. ‘’Sending nudes is great fun; I haven’t had anyone to send them to me for a while and I kind of miss that adrenaline rush,’’ she says. Unprompted nudes can have their place, she reckons, but ‘’generally with someone who I’ve been chatting with or dating’ I wouldn’t send them to a stranger’’.

In a relationship, of course, nude photos are a way of keeping the passion alive and they’re especially useful in long-distance relationships. No more fiddling with a Polaroid or hoping the Snappy Snaps guy developing your film won’t call the feds- digital photography allows us to be right there and ready. It can build excitement and maintain intimacy, no matter how far apart you are, says one man, who’s been with his wife for 15 years: ‘’It’s become our regular thing on a Friday afternoon. She’ll send me a down-the-top shot- or more if she’s at home that day- and I’ll nip to the loo and give her a quick peek. Sometimes I’ll do a decent one at home and save it to send to her on Friday. I usually have a spare nude ready to go. We love it.’’

Often overlooked is the normalisation of nudes and its effect on body positivity. It’s well-known the regular, jeans-on selfies can be a confidence boost- either to reaffirm your attractiveness or garner interactions on social media- so it’s fairly obvious nudes can do the same for sexual confidence. Photographing yourself nude forces you to appraise your body afresh, there’s nowhere to hide; and while there’s every risk it could confirm your worst fears- photographing yourself from below can help you appreciate its wonder.

One body positivity in her forties says ‘’Taking nudes has gone from being something that scared me because I didn’t think I was hot enough to something that’s increased my confidence hugely. There are literally hundreds of naked photos of me online now and I’ve photographed over 20 people in their forties with varying degrees of good and bad relationships with their bodies’’

In the gay dating arena, perhaps, there’s more of a demand for nudes. Although straight dating apps are also popular with people wanting hook-ups, it could be argued gay men pioneered the openness around casual sex and specialist apps, born both of convenience and necessity: gay dating apps offer gay, bi and trans men a safe space to express themselves, on the understanding that everyone is there for the same reason and an approach will not offend. But with such freedom comes expectation. Bisexual guy Alex says he gets asked for nudes ‘’within minutes of initiating conversation. There definitely seems to be a culture of pressuring for nudes in the gay community’’

If you want to send nudes that you’re oh-so-proud of, by all means, go for it, just make sure you follow these rules first. Set your own boundaries. Nude doesn’t have to mean completely naked. Do what you feel comfortable doing- you’re in control of this situation. Partially nude photos can actually be way sexier than baring it all anyway. Try a sexy pose in your underwear only or a really cute bathing suit. Leaving more to the imagination sometimes gets guys more excited than the alternative.

Be prepared for other people seeing your goodies. You have a damn good body, so be prepared that your recipient is going to want to show off that photo. If you haven’t met his friends before, just know that the first time you meet them might not be the first time they’ve seen parts of you that you don’t to be seen. Be prepared for this but also be good person and don’t share nudes you receive with others without their permission.

Keep that pretty face out of it. On that note, make sure to keep your face out of it. Send a selfie you want, send nudes all you want, but for the love of the sexting gods, don’t send your face and nudes in the same shot just in case he turns out to be a douchebag who spreads the picture everywhere or just in case the phone gets into the wrong hands or whatever other horrible tragedy that can occur.

Don’t send nudes to men you don’t know. You may be very close to someone you haven’t met in person yet and feel comfortable sharing nudes. Only you can be the judge of whether or not you truly know someone well enough for this kind of intimacy, but please don’t send nudes to brand new guys. You don’t know them or their motivations and you need to protect yourself. And again, don’t send nudes under the influence. As most everything goes, sending nudes under the influence is a bad idea. You’re bound to forget all the other remaining rules.

Next thing you know, your whole body is in the picture, face and all, and you’ve sent it to your boss and then accidentally uploaded it to Facebook. Check your lightning and angle. A little bit of advice that’s different than the rest. If you’re going to send those nudes, I want you to send your best self. Take photos from above or straight on. Never take a photo from below looking up- everyone has a double chin at this angle. Try for natural light instead of harsh fluorescent light. So now, go for it, send nudes- just make sure your clean and well shot.

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WeekendLife

‘Mindset’ unlocks positive mindset

2nd February 2023
At the age of 17, Boniface Lewanika is ready to take over the world. He has shown commitment to being the next big thing to ever emerge from Botswana. Mindset MusiQ, as he is affectionately known, is a self-taught music producer. The story of how Mindset started music production can be traced back to end-to-end lockdowns, which jaded him to the core.

At least, for Mindset MusiQ, these lockdowns were a blessing in disguise. He got to unlock the hidden potential in him, or maybe, the creativity that he never knew about. Being locked down meant that Mindset MusiQ has plenty of time to waste, but he was quick to switch his mindset to coming up with something positive.

He saw it much better to waste time on the internet. Well, for lot of people, the internet was the only saving grace then. But for Mindset MusiQ, it was the beginning of a journey that he intends to walk for the rest of his life.

“I became a music producer because I love music. I then asked myself why I should not make music, that’s when in 2020 during lockdowns I started watching YouTube tutorials on how to make music. I didn’t have any knowledge on how to produce a song. YouTube introduced me to Digital Audio Workstation (DAW) which is a software used for music production.”

The Letlhakane born then downloaded his first software which was Ableton Live, which was way too complex and distorted. “I felt it was too hard to learn and I switched to FI studio which was also complicated but fortunately, easy to use. Because I don’t have a good voice to sing, music production became too good to me and very flexible to embark on.”

Mindset MusiQ became part of the Department of Broadcasting Services (DBS) national roadshow, after being picked from the capacity building workshop. He was challenged to speak to the audience, fellow creatives (artists and music producers) and his presentation caught the eye of the adjudicator, DJ Fresh.

“I heard about the artist’s capacity building workshop from my mother, who saw it on Facebook. My father immediately reacted and dropped me off and even though I was late, the host then introduced me and the rest became history. As we speak, I am part of the Top 30, and we will be having the finale on the 11th of February in Gaborone.”

Being on the Top 30 for Mindset MusiQ is a dream come true. This is because he wasn’t even told that there will be a boot camp and grand prizes, and he has always wanted to advance his premature music career. He said this has shown that he is on the right track.

“Working with DJ Fresh is really cool. It’s not everyone who can be afforded that opportunity and the experience humbles me all the time. Already, I have rocked the Thando remix and I can’t wait to do more with his mentorship.”

Mindset MusiQ is currently in South Africa working on cooking more music with industry moguls. He was invited by producer Trey Bankz and some colleagues from Imperial City Music, a new record label in Johannesburg

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WeekendLife

All The Star She Is lands on BTV

2nd February 2023
With zero existence of TV programs empowering women in Botswana, a new show that strives to make that news of the past has just started airing on the tedious BTV. At least, after so many years, All The Star She Is will inspire viewers to see a new change in terms of supporting women in Botswana.

Each incredible series celebrates women but not from all walks of life, but those who are turning heads in the entertainment industry. The show will cast a bright light on women who have conquered tremendous obstacles and weathered the storms.

In an exclusive interview with WeekendLife on Monday, Director of Cosign267 Koone Boikaego said the show reveals the paths that these phenomenal women took to be where they are in the entertainment and media industry.

Cosign267 is a 100% youth owned film and TV Production Company led by Boikaego. It has worked with a number of organization, executing various projects such as filming, shooting, editing and one-on-one couch interviews.

The youthful company recently wrapped up the Department of Broadcasting Services (DBS) three months’ national roadshow and boot camp. It was assigned with capturing all moments of the roadshow, alongside Thato DJ Fresh Sikwane.

“Celebrating women is one thing that is often overlooked. We put together this project to take followers into the lives of creative and incredible women. They are determined to break walls and pave way for the next generation of women. In this show, these women serve viewers with factual stories of how they started and what it takes to be at the forefront, the bittersweet experiences that took them that far. It’s really a show that many young girls can draw inspiration from.”

Breaking down the show plan, Boikaego said airs every Saturday on BTV at 6PM, hosted by One Rabantheng. Rabantheng, famously known as Divine Diva is a media and marketing consultant, legendary radio personality who worked for Duma FM, e-TV and RB2, where she was shown the door for speaking foul of the then President without being aware that the microphone is on.

There are thirteen stars to be featured on the new show, therefore, this means that there will be thirteen episodes. Some of the familiar faces featured on the TV show are: Mpho Sebina, Olorato Ledique, Oratile Kebakile, Nnunu Ramogotsi, Tumi Ramsden, Kelly Ramputswa, Tshepie Olds, Winx Motcher, Mmaphala, Loretta and Nicole Martinez among others.

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WeekendLife

Lifestyle enthusiasts feel Big Brother vibes

27th January 2023

This past weekend MultiChoice Botswana hosted media and lifestyle enthusiasts in Oodi for an evening of fun, drama and everything in between. The treat dubbed Big Brother Titans Botswana media challenge basically recreated the Big Brother experience right here in Botswana.

Big Brother Titans is the joint South African and Nigerian edition of the Big Brother franchise. The series follows contestants as they live in an isolated house and compete for a cash prize at the end of the show by avoiding being evicted from the house by the viewers.

These viewers vote their favorite housemates to stay on the show. The show features housemates from South Africa and Nigeria. The first season of the show premiered on January 15 2023 on DStv.

DStv Botswana Corporate Affairs Manager, Thembile Legwaila told WeekendLife that they saw it critical to host media friends to experience how it feels by being in the Big Brother house.

“For the very first time in history of Big Brother, we’ve seen the merging of two superpowers, Mzansi and Naija, with the Big Brother Titans season and what a better way to celebrate the monumental season than hosting our media friends.”

THE LOVE

Participants were treated to top notch reception complimented by the Oodi sunset which just blew them away. A special shuttle was organized from Gaborone to Oodi, at a farm house that is just incredible in terms of design, aesthetics and ambience.

Of course they were welcomed by soft cocktails and non-alcoholic beverages for those who are not drinkers, and the next booth was an opportunity for housemates to introduce themselves to the man of the house, Biggie. RB2’s new baby Mdu the Party played the role of Biggie, and he nailed the character.

Some of the contestants were asked what they will do with the grand prize of P5000. With my ongoing voluntary movement, #Pad4HER, I needed the cash prize to push the campaign.  #Pad4HER is a campaign that I started last year with an aim of helping female students from disadvantaged backgrounds to have access to sanitary towels. Anyway, luck was not on my side but my colleague from The Botswana Gazette, Gosego Motsumi emerged as the winner.

We got done with the questions and made way into the house. The party began with more drinks and the first challenge kicked off. For this particular challenge, we were divided into pairs. I was matched with Motsumi and we won the first challenge.

WINNING STRATEGY

Other housemates asked how we managed but it was simple: we had a strategy before embarking on the challenge. We sat down and debated on what we need to do in order to emerge victorious.

DStv engaged a phenomenal local chef, Rachel Tlagae who served some enchanting, light meal. Its Big Brother Titans so we ought to mind what we eat and also take note of quantities. Chefs also brought some wine to go with the meal and everyone was contented.

THE WINNING CHALLENGE

Housemates were taken through the last challenge: mental ability. This particular challenge needed them to know who they are as well as knowing their fellow housemates. It was one of the simplest challenges yet difficult. This is where I lost lot of points even though I was at the top (after winning the first challenge).

These housemates were all unique in their own way. From the media side was myself, Sharon Mathala, Leungo Mokgwathi, Gosego Motsumi and Nancy Ramokhua. This is a team which did exceptionally well altogether. Motsumi emerged as the winner, followed by Mathala and me on fourth position.

The third position was won by Loungo Pitse from influencer’s side, and he tagged alongside DJ Gouveia, Dato Seiko, Kedi Molosiwa and Gape Makwati.

Legwaila said “We wanted to have a healthy mix of traditional media (print and radio) as well as social media personalities, artists and content creators in the house. We chose individuals who were characteristically different from each other because variety and diversity is important to us. We of course chose those with outgoing personalities as well as those who are a little more introverted as we wanted the interaction to be authentic and organic. We wanted a solid group of individuals who represented the many different people that make up this beautiful country.”

DSTV IS COOKING SOMETHING

When quizzed if there are plans to have a similar Big Brother Titans Botswana, Legwaila said “MultiChoice Africa is focused on entertaining audiences all over Africa with the current Big Brother franchises; BB Titans, Mzansi and Naija. Though we have no immediate plans to have a Big Brother Botswana in the future, we are continuously looking at ways to entertain our Botswana audience with local content and we are excited for what’s to come in the next few weeks from our country.”

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