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Make your man happy in bed, even if you shy

Contrary to common belief, making a man happy especially in bed isn’t as complicated as it is made to seem. Whether you have a boyfriend or a husband, it is It is the only thing that will hold you together for as long as possible.

There are different ways in which you can carry yourself when it comes to sex that will always drive your man crazy, but before that, please, satisfy your man and make him happy in bed sexually, even if you shy! According to a lifestyle blog Panda Gossips, nothing makes your boyfriend happier than being told that you love him back. Make it a habit and you will make a happy lover. And as someone smart once said, a happy husband, a happy, satisfied wife. I know it’s supposed to be the other way round but you get the point, right?

Panda Gossips indicated that taking your man hostage in bed will make him happy. Tie him up on the bed and tease him a little bit before making love to him. Doing so, it says, will not only drive him crazy but will leave him wanting more of you, which will always be to your advantage because you will sure as hell enjoy the lovemaking session. Make sure that you are always surprising him by not making it a norm. Turn your man on in the shower, the blog advised. Nothing turns a man more than seeing the woman he loves naked with foam dripping down her goddess figure.

That being said, always invite your boyfriend to take showers with you and that will give him more than one reason to be happy. Just make sure that the temperatures are lowered because how you women survive bathing in boiling water still remains a mystery to men. While women are serial fantasists, men happen to be visual creatures. That means that they get aroused by what they see. That said if you want to make your man happy, get to suck his fingers slowly and seductively while staring him in the eyes. Doing this will not only make him happy but will also be a stepping stone for a very hot sexual encounter.

Further, the blog designated that it’s critical you dirty talk your man to get him hard. I am sure you have heard the street dictum ‘’I want a lady in the streets but a freak in bed’’, right? Well, it so happens that Ludacris was speaking on behalf of all men in the world. Dirty talking is one of the salient tips that can be effectively used to turn your boyfriend sexually and make him a beast in bed. The good thing is that you can learn how to do it. Just don’t proceed to insult your man and always know where to draw the line, which is nothing that good practice cannot fix.

Though your boyfriend will not come clean about it, all men love it when women moan during sex, the blog said. That shows that he is doing such a fine job pleasuring you and that will make him even go harder while on top of you. Just make sure that you aren’t exaggerating it unless you want to turn your boyfriend off. Make your relationship exciting by making your man wait. If you want to make your man crave for you, don’t give him the obvious because he will grow tired of you. Thankfully, there are many ways in which you can use to make him crave you over and over again. For instance, when you are making love to your man, make sure that you are going to his private parts and that should happen only after he had begged for it.

Panda Gossips also shared that choosing the right background music for sex does the magic. Contrary to popular belief, men also like it when women make an effort to set the mood. Try playing some soothing music in the background while you crawl on your fours towards your man and see your boyfriend falling in love with you a second time. If you aren’t sure about what music your boyfriend likes, just ask. Don’t go wasting money on hiring a private investigator to investigate your man. Strip-tease your man and make him happy. Did your man stop going to the strip club because he met and fell in love with you? Good. But that does not mean that he has to miss out all the fun he used to have when he was single.

Make your man happy by strip teasing him from time to time. Don’t go welding a silicon stripper pole in the midst of your living room unless you want the visitors to never visit again. Just a little strip tease here and there will without a doubt make your man happy. Get rid of everything distracting your man. The blog shared that if you want to make your man happy and sexually turned on before hopping to bed, well one of the many tips you can use is by getting rid of all the distractions. You need to make yourself his only distraction. So how do you go about it? It’s simple. When it’s time to make love, switch off the TV, slide into something amazingly hot and switch of the phone because phones have a special gift of running moments when they ring.

Drink coffee with your man before sex. It was clearly explained that apart from caffeine boosting your man’s concentration while making love to you, coffee will also make you hornier. If you haven’t tried it, make sure that you try it out then send me a thankful note. And twenty thousand pula. Don’t ask me what it is for. Further, it was said that ensure that the lights are on when you make love to him. Men are visual creatures and would love to see that hot, naked body going that extra mile to make him feel amazing. If you keep on doing this, you can always be assured that it will make him fall in love with you even more. And Oh, if you want to make him hooked to you and become a very satisfied man, then you need to know his sensitive spots.

But even though you know them, always make sure that you are going there last. It will always make him crave you more if you save the best for last. You should always take this as well as other tips with a pinch of salt and make your sex life even better.

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WeekendLife

Death or Divorce – a tough choice for many

24th May 2022
pic

Rebecca* is a woman in her late thirties. She holds her head high and walks with a sway in her steps. There is an air of confidence when she speaks. So when she tells me how her husband has been abusing her throughout their 17 years of marriage, I am taken aback.

“Everyday is a new experience for me. I don’t know what version of husband I’ll meet; the one who will scold me for forgetting to lay out his clothes or the one who will hit me for putting too much salt in the soup,” she says while wiping tears. 17 years is almost two decades. I ask her why she has had to endure all that pain for a long time but she only shakes her head and does not answer.

Like Rebecca, hundreds of women experiencing domestic violence find it difficult to leave. For some, it is for reasons best known to them, for others, they simply do not know why or have the words. People who have not experienced abuse find it unfathomable that survivors stay in their relationships and not leave. It seems almost like they enjoy it. But until an experience has been felt, it is easy to give directives on how to act.

For Ms. Ilavbare Goldfish Rahmatulai, it took 6 years to escape the suffocating grip of her abuser. “It was a traumatic experience,” she tells me. “I can tell you this for free; the same intensity used to abuse you is the same intensity used to beg. When he does this, pity begins to set in and you become confused on what to do.”

Ms. Ilavbare Goldfish Rahmatulai

I ask Ms. Demilade Lawal, a psychologist from the University of Chester, in an interview, if there is a psychological reason behind this and she affirms.

“For a lot of women, it’s a glimmer of hope that things are going to get better. And that glimmer of hope can be understood when we are aware of the social cycle of abuse. There is a tension phase, an abuse phase and a honeymoon phase. In the honeymoon phase the abuser temporarily changes his ways and alters the victim’s decision to leave. Then the tension starts and then abuse follows.”

Another reason women remain entangled with their abusers is the fear of the unknown, the unclear reality of what would be after leaving.

“The truth is, as much as this person abuses them, there is an emotional connection. They love this person, there is a traumatic attachment whether they are aware of it or not. It is not the best love environment but it doesn’t change the fact that this is how they feel about the person that abuses them. So the thought of starting afresh without this person whom they have grown to love despite the abuse is just as frightening,” Ms Lawal says.

Although this may sound like an unjustifiable reason to some who have not walked this path, Ms. Rahmatulai agrees.

“In my case, I loved him very much. I could not imagine going to tell my family members or friends that the man I loved started hitting me as early as a month into our marriage. I was embarrassed. So I stayed back, hoping it would get better,” she says.

Research shows that one of the many reasons why women remain in abusive marriages is a lack of income which results in total financial dependency on the abuser. Could this be a strategy to trap the victim in an abusive cycle?

“While I was married, my husband would give me very little housekeeping money. He knew I did not have a job and the money would be insufficient but I could not say a word. I had to feed my children. If I complained I would get beaten. He provided for everything in the house, what authority did I have to question him,” Ms Rahmatulai says to me.

I ask Rebecca if she has a job and she says no. She mentions she’s an interior decorator but she barely gets offers. When she does, her husband collects everything.

A major factor for avoiding abusive marriages is to identify red flags. However, these flags are sometimes mistaken for natural behavioural traits. In Ms Rahmatulai’s case, she tells me she noticed her husband was quick tempered and ill mannered before marriage however she waved them aside as he had never hit her during courtship.

How then can abuse survivors find the courage to leave?

“The decision to leave is a process, it takes a shift in perspective – realising that you deserve better and that your kids deserve to grow in a healthy home where they don’t learn to be abusers or think it’s okay to be abused,” Ms Lawal says.

“When I pack my bags to leave, my husband would hit me. When I unpack, he would hit me. I started going to school to get a degree and then later I started trading. When I had what seemed like enough then (N80,000/ $192), I left my husband regardless of the worst that could happen. I realised if I stayed long enough, I would be dead,” Ms Rahmatulai says.

“It’s been 20 years since I left. I’m 51 and a lawyer now. I have dedicated my life to helping women in abusive marriages leave. So many men have called me a home breaker but I say it’s better to break a home and save a life.”

*Rebecca has asked to stay anonymous by using a pseudonym.

Claire Mom is a Nigerian journalist and an advocate for human rights.
Email: clairemom26@gmail.com
Twitter: speakclairely

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WeekendLife

7 Days to go before As One Music Concert

24th May 2022
ATI

Multitudes of music lovers are expected to throng Francistown’s Obert Itani Chilume Stadium for the highly anticipated As One Music concert next weekend.

Updating WeekendLife on the preparations of the event, Kesego Okie said the preparations for the show are going well and they are working around the clock to make sure that they fulfill all logistics that need to be concluded. She said, ATI has been working hard alongside the featured artists to give Batswana the best experience at concert.

She said that the concert has been accepted well by Batswana and they are very happy with the ticket sales. ”But of course we are looking forward to more ticket sales as more people are showing more interest in being part of this historic event and we are grateful to all our partners and sponsors.”

She appealed to the Francistown Business Community to come on board and support the initiative as it’s a concert for the people. Okie said Francistown was chosen for a reason as they believe it is a gate way to a number of other strategic places in Botswana like Maun, Orapa, Phikwe and Kasane.

“We also felt that since the city has been greatly affected by COVID-19 an event of this magnitude was befitting to be held in Francistown so that we can also play our role in uplifting the socio-economic livelihood hence we believe it is vital for the business community of Francistown to embrace us so that collectively we can contribute meaningfully together as one to the community of Francistown”.

She indicated that they have a large number of artists particularly from Francistown that have shown interest during the show activation and other artists that have collaborated with ATI in the past and those that have contributed in the growth of his music, and it would be very difficult for them to fulfil the mandate of the show without support particularly from the corporate community in Francistown.

Tickets for the event are sold at P50 kids, P150 general, 500 VIP silver circle and VVIP for P1500. All tickets are sold at all Liquarama Outlets across the country.

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WeekendLife

Phakalane soars to new heights

24th May 2022
Magang

Founded 30 years ago by David Magang, Phakalane Estates came from humble beginnings to gradually expand into developing one of the most desirable neighborhoods in the country which attract high income dwellers.

When the development began in the early 90s the estate was to be developed into 13 phases. It is then that a decision was taken by the developers to come up with plans that would be appealing to certain groups of the society.

Phakalane Estates continues to make its mark in the property development space, this year, they have managed to invests over P45 million on major renovations to the Golf Estate properties namely the hotel, golf course, and conference center.

Already the company has erected 84 single and double bedroom apartments which commenced early this year. The construction of these new apartments has been set for Peto Estates, a gated community within the Phakalane neighborhood strategically placed a stone’s throw away from multiple shopping centres such as Mowana Park and Acacia Mall.

“We want the best for our clients that is why even in Peto, we have various apartments for every one and also bearing in mind that the people should be not far from the complex,” Phakalane Estates’ Lesang Magang said in an interview.

So far the roads tarring has started at Sebote estate which is part of the estate expansion, it is expected that even things electrically will get handed to the Botswana Power Corporation which will be the last stage plus the lights on the streets. “In terms of infrastructure we don’t compromise we ensure that it is world class so that we don’t disappoint our clients. Those that brought houses earlier when they sell them it comes at a profit.”

Following the success of the launch of Peto Estates back in 2014, when over 300 plots ranging in cost from roughly P300, 000 to P1.4m were immediately sold out with a high surplus of demand, Phakalane Estates boasts strong confidence in the market demand for new apartments in the area.

The apartments are set to follow the trend of the estates with state of the art modern designs and facilities that will unequivocally catch the eye of professionals in the market for a smaller yet upscale rental property in Gaborone. Phakalane Estates CEO Subramaniam Parthiban has expressed plans for the creation of an all-new industrial park in Phakalane aiming to expand and consolidate the existing industrial strength the community already boasts.

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