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Surviving heartbreak and seizing the future!

Love is such a beautiful thing…and falling in love for the very first time is just striking.

One comes out of a lonely childhood and begins to find confidence as a young adult. Secure a good job, buy your first car and experience a freedom you never felt before. That is all good, but to add cherry on top, let a beautiful girl or boy come your way…they will definitely take you to another level.

Well…bad news will always come around whether you happy in that relationship or not! Just around the corner lay the numbness of loss, the feeling of helplessness and sleepless nights as something magical just slipped away. When you guys first met, you hit it right away. The relationship was fine, burning and the partner was attractive and fun to be around. You guys laughed at the same things, and as you grew closer, stronger feelings soon developed. Falling in love was exciting, for both of you.

Great times, lots of laughs, beautiful flowers, nice chocolates, funny and yet romantic texts, long calls, chilled picnics, matching outfits, fun drives, romantic and cool music, great sex, gossips and romance…and the list goes on. Few months later, you plucked up the courage and propose. She said yes! Marriage was suddenly on the horizon. You spent all your savings on a ring, and made plans for the future. People’s generosity overwhelmed you guys as you were adorned with engagement presents.

As marriage plans are still underway, hints at secrets began to emerge. With little warning, plans crumbled. You spend night after night driving around in your car wondering what to do and how to cope. You stressed and it’s killing you softly. You cry yourself to sleep, you losing appetite and your body is deteriorating.  For some reason you will never understand, your fiancée seemed to change. She became colder, and obviously you wondered if she will have feelings for other men. You tried a few times to keep the relationship going, but it didn’t work. It was a dark time of bitter recriminations and rumours. The experience somehow strengthened you.

After a difficult, long time you started developing a more positive sense that happier time could be ahead and that the future, the undiscovered country, could still hold excitement and happiness. We all have a choice to hold onto that belief or dwell in the past. Love can cause pain, but it can heal pain too…According to a lifestyle blog owned by Alan Marsden, a split often results in one person hurting more than the other. Emotions are strong and the feeling is fragile, so it’s vital to avoid anger confrontations. Alan advised that one should not try to convert the relationship into something else overnight. He said it’s key to give each other space.

He further said one should not hide away from favourite haunts. ‘’As a couple, you probably frequented some places, and you are avoiding those not to avoid the memories. Avoiding favourite places only creates conscious reminders and heightens the sense of loss. Although difficult at the start, if you enjoyed particular cafes, cinemas, or beaches, do not avoid them. Enjoy them and create new memories. Although hard in the beginning, continue walking at a nearby lake, and eventually the reminiscing shall stop.Enjoy being a solo artist, Alan said. He stressed that separation can make you aware of how much you are looking for happiness in other people. Take some time without a serious relationship and you will find yourself becoming more able to enjoy your own company.‘’As your self-confidence grows, your reliance on having a partner to enjoy good times diminishes. You get to enjoy single for a certain time, and afterward this will help in your recovery. It is better to let life unfold’’ he said. It’s true to keep the memories secure. Destroying photographs, deleting messages or burning down love letters is not the right thing to do. Things happened, and burning pictures does not change that. Sore the photos away but somewhere safe, perhaps easier in the digital age- but bear in mind that they are also easier to delete. When the time is right, go ahead and look because these were important time sin your life, and you will want to revisit them sometime.

As time passes, the hurt subsides naturally. Alan said you don’t need to do anything. No effort. No timetable. ‘’Just let nature take its course, and be sure in the knowledge that you will recover. Cry when you need to, yes, even if you are a man. Keep an honest perspective. He shared that if a relationship is not working for you, it is not working for the other person too. This realization will help you to come to terms with the situation and help you think about how the other person feels. Putting your fiancé first will help you realize she is no longer wanted you to continue, and you have to come to terms with that.Alan noted that people might judge you as you come out of a relationship. Do not let people taking sides trouble you, and don’t feel you have to correct what they think.

There will always be people who judge, but judgements only hurt if you judge yourself in response. Instead of dwelling on what other people think, focus on finding peace within yourself and you will become stronger and more positive as a result. Forgiving and forgetting also does wonders, Alan claims. Never hold grudges or judge your ex-partner harshly if they were at fault. Nobody makes perfect decisions. It will be easier to forgive if you try to empathize with their situation. Most importantly though, when it comes to forgiving, start with yourself. Beating yourself up slows down your recovery. Show compassion for yourself and you will definitely heal.

Look into the future. Alan highlighted that one should think of all the possibilities that still await-new steps in your career, new friends and experiences in life to enjoy. You often hear advice about focusing on the present moment. This is good advice, but during a relationship break-up, know that the present moment will pass. Move on and make a fresh start. Years later, you will meet a truly wonderful person, a soul mate, a friend and a loyal partner. This will put everything into perspective and more years later, you will still be madly in love.

You see, the end of one relationship might just mean moving closer to the beginning of a new one, and the right one. You never know when love strikes, so if you have lost love recently, don’t give up, believe in yourself, and take each day one at a time. Your soul mate is out there looking for you right now…good luck!

 

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WeekendLife

A.T.I: Batswana’s Judas Iscariot

19th October 2020
Atasaone Molemogi aka

Atasaone Molemogi, who goes by the stage name of A.T.I, is yet again making headlines and trending on social media platforms.

The eccentric and somewhat lose cannon artist is under fire for the stunts he pulled early this year. A.T.I had gone over and above to enlighten and fight for Batswana’s rights against according to him, foreigners who have monopolised the country.

So much so Atasaone recorded a video ranting and hurling insults while in front of Satar Dada’s Motor Centre at Fairground Mall. That was one of his many episodes. However, the one that gave him the ‘struggle icon’ persona was when he was arrested for making a video in front of the State House, this landed the dear lad in the cells of Urban Police Station and later transferred to Central Police Station.

Batswana gathered at the Central Police to demonstrate and demand the maverick be released. A.T.I became the Mandela of Botswana, the voice of the voiceless, the Messiah Batswana needed. A.T.I could not become any bigger till another outspoken personality stepped on the stage, Duma Gideon Boko, lawyer and President of Umbrella for Democratic Change (UDC).

The aberrant lawyer did not disappoint, especially when he flamboyantly swung his gown on like Superman in front of the press. This was the moment, Botswana’s two outspoken and nonconformists were wearing their capes to save the ordinary citizen from years of being subjected to mediocracy.

Molemogi had Batswana believe that indeed they were being treated unfairly in their own country and incited many to take up arms and fight for a better Botswana for Batswana. The people stood rock solid behind the maverick artist.

That is until A.T.I pulled the rug under their feet and went ahead and met Tumiso Rakgare, Minister of Youth, Sport and Culture. The very same Minister he vehemently declined to meet, hell-bent on only having an audience with the President of Botswana, Mokgweetsi Masisi.

What transpired between Rakgare and A.T.I is not known, but any Tom, Dick and Harry can guess that A.T.I, one way or another, was enticed by something said or done by the Minister because the recluse was as silent as a lamb after the meet.

Now, this publication by no means implies that Rakgare offered Atasaone anything valuable but observing the cries of the masses it may be deducted to something along those lines.All this however happened mid this year and anyone would think that it would be old news and a closed chapter, not to be.

The public cannot for the life of them get over how A.T.I used them to push his agenda and then leave them hanging. A sin unforgiveable in the eyes of Batswana. And so the masses have to have their displeasure made known.

A.T.I has been awarded a new name, Judas Iscariot. The infamous follower of Jesus Christ who sold the latter to the Jews for 30 pieces of silver. Batswana made the reference having deducted that they and their dreams have been sold in the same way Christ was sold off. A.T.I has sabotaged and sold the struggle, for what or how much is still not known.

While people find it hard to understand why ATI threw in the towel, the controversial singer seems unbothered and does not regret anything. He however cited that he is not fond of the name ‘Judas Iscariot’. He further stated that people should understand that it is easy for him to get lost in the midst of everything.

A.T.I shared with this publication that he needed to start somewhere in order to meet the President. He further mentioned to this publication that they discussed how best they can assist the youth and he was telling the Minister about his clothing line, and asking for support from the minister. None of the things mentioned have materialized however.

In his defence he said, “We need to be able to save ourselves before we can be able to save others. People should stop laughing at people who supported me and they should stop calling me Judas Iscariot. The reason why I was going to war when the year began, was because I needed security and I needed our leaders to give me answers.

I was scared I wanted more communication. With time I noticed that I am losing myself. No one told me what to do but I did what I did and I did exactly how l felt it was best,” he said.“A lot of people felt I am their answer, no! I am not anybody’s answer that is why when I was still at it I noticed the saviour mentality. I felt I was back at it again.

I cannot try to save the world all the time. You cannot change the world that don’t see the need to change their mental state.

At the same time the people I am trying to do it for, are still stuck in 89. I did it for the people I needed to do it for and for the truest results to be visible.”

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WeekendLife

Becoming Queen: Oweditse on her Miss Botswana reign

19th October 2020
MISS BOTSWANA - Oweditse Phirinyane

It was not long time ago when she got crowned as Queen, after a series of hard work to take over the crown.

For her it was a journey of learning and a wakeup call at the same time, to put hark work in her reign and to bring the best out of it.

Today, she gave a reflection on becoming Queen and reminisced on what it took for her to complete her reign. The Queen is expected to hang over the crown soon, and to who, we are yet to find out.

When reflecting back on her journey, Oweditse Phirinyane shared with WeekendLife that from the time she got crowned as Queen, there was a form of sisterhood that existed within the contestants.

To an extent whereby they were able to solve their issues amicably without holding grudges.“You know when there is a group of women in one place, people often expect drama. But ours was minimal.

It was more of a sisterhood and our fights were more of sisters. We just solved them and got over them,” she said.Forming part of the contestants meant she had to gird her loins and place herself in a better position to be able to take the crown and ascend the throne as Miss Botswana 2019/20.

“From Phikwe, when SPEDU was taking us on those trips every day. We got lessons, the mere fact that SPEDU was the main sponsor, and they would take us on these long drives, it then occurred to me that this is all for nothing. I had to pay attention to everything that was being said.

My gut said there would be a question on SPEDU. So when we came back, I was ready because I was paying attention and I took time to read the pamphlets that were given to us.”

“So when I took over as Queen, I had a short period to record beauty with a purpose. I had to meet all the Miss World deadlines, I had back to back meetings, interviews and at the same time I had to prepare my wardrobe so it was just crazy. There were no enough sponsors to rely on.

There was no time for delegation of issues. There was no money. I also managed because I had good relationships with designers, as a model and as an individual.”Even though the budget was not enough to cover up her expenses, she had to take care of herself because Miss Botswana did not have money.

Although they assisted where they could, they could not cover half of her wardrobe, not even a quarter. Due to different timelines, and different seasons, she struggled to buy winter clothes for London as it was summer this side, yet it was winter where she was going to compete.

“The shops did not have winter clothes, so it was stressful getting ready for Miss World. That was the most painful part of my reign. You end up settling for things you would not settle for. I then suggested for the next Queen to be crowned earlier.

I wanted to be there for them to form that part of sisterhood. Most of the Queens after their reign they leave because of conflicts. So I wanted to change that,” she said.“If they all meet then I will too because I know the tricks.

The tricks starts here, what is happening in our country and what you have been doing back home. Even if it is not a major thing. Companies, when we come to them and we say ‘support Miss Botswana’, it would not always be about money but making the Queen part of their projects and social responsibility projects.

She has to be there to build her portfolio and those who are watching can see that she is active. There are a lot of events in the country that a Queen can attend.”

Being at Miss World
Part of her reign meant her being at Miss World to compete with Queens from all over the globe. Although she anticipating to give her all at Miss World, she was met with disappointment. However, she had a form of sisterhood with other countries to cushion the disappointments that befell her.

“When I left for Miss World I was so exhausted. My mum had to come the previous day to help me pack. I was so exhausted. My body was on shutdown mode. She came because I was just about to break down. I was overwhelmed because I was doing a lot of things. Her presence made me feel better,’’ said Phirinyane.

“I left for London alone and I had a lot of luggage with me at the time. London was my first long trip. So I was sleeping on the way because I did not want to stress about anything. I arrived in London and I saw people from the Embassy waiting for me. And I had to check in at the Tower Hotel.

I did not have a roommate for a week. My roommate was Miss Ethiopia. I grew close to Miss Barbados and Miss Antigua. When my roommate came, she was a headsets girl,”

“Her English was not good even when I needed to converse with her. Our conversation would be short. But what I loved about her was that she would tell me how amazing I was, without fail.”

Although she had initially perceived that she will be competing globally to bring the crown home, she was instead surprised to learn that the finalized where already chosen and they were there to do formalities.

“They already had their finalists based on social media, not the likes and not the followings but the reception and how you are treated back home. The other thing they look at was how valuable pageantry is in your country. That is if they crown you, what they will benefit from your country. It is business at the end of the day,’’ she said.

“Some people would be barely having two weeks and already they are in Top 40. Somehow it would crush me or destroy someone. I would raise my complaints to our team leader that it was not fair. I was in a group with huge countries.

Countries where pageantry is taken seriously. When I didn’t make it to the Top 40 I was shocked. But at the same time I was content and proud that I have done my best.” She stated that she had a lot of projects that she had to do back home, but she could not due to Covid-19 but there were initiatives she engaged in for the betterment of the society.

When she took over she admitted that she was hyped up and pumped up to implement her projects, which she said she will continue doing even after her reign.“I wish I could have done more but I am still proud of what I have done.

I am proud that I never gave up. I hope one day it gets to a point where people understand the beauty of pageantry and the entertainment industry,” said Phirinyane.

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WeekendLife

Botswana’s little beauty queens earn international credit

19th October 2020
Little MISS Princess 2020 Katlo Ratau

The contentious and contagious COVID-19 pandemic has caused many prominent beauty pageants around the world to be cancelled and postponed.

Among the most to be affected were the Miss Botswana 2020 and of course Little Miss Princess of the World, both the local and global events which were cancelled entirely.

A few of these beauty pageants have modified to remove a live audience or to be purely held over teleconference. One protuberant beauty pageant going on this year is the Miss South Africa that will be going down on the 24th October 2020.

Well, that is a story for another day. It is definitely a golden year and we can’t complain much because Botswana’s five Little Miss Princesses of the World have been recognized internationally and honoured among the Teen Top 100 Young Talented of the World 2020 by Fabuk Magazine.

Fabuk Magazine is a fashion and lifestyle publication which is distributed to many of the leading fashionably trendy destinations all over the world. The major countries for overseas distributions are UK, France, Turkey and USA amongst others.

The magazine is on-hand at most major events such as fashion and red carpet shows, international festivals for fashion and tourism shows.Undeniably the most artistic and dazzling, Katlo Ratau made the list of Botswana’s keen princesses to ever join the Miss Little Princess of the World pageant which was held in Bulgaria at the time of her reign.

A Form 4 student at Delta Waters International School in Maun, she participated in the pageant in 2016 and went home slightly thwarted after being crowned 1st runner up at an outstanding occasion held at the GICC.

Well coincidentally for her, she had a chance to travel to Europe with other Princesses and came to blows with similarly incredible girls from the entire world. She effortlessly sailed through to the finals and was crowned an ultimate winner through her ease composure and radiance.

Joining other Princesses of the World from Botswana was Anke Nkwe. At the age of 12 years, she is already setting bars to be recognized globally as a shining star. Perhaps Botswana will be doing the most at the Miss World in the near feature.

This little dynamite joined the pageant in 2017 and only made it to Top 8 and never hesitated to come back again the following year to claim what belonged to her. She was crowned Miss Congeniality and scooped the second place.

In beauty pageants, Miss Congeniality is usually determined by the votes of other contestants, as being that girl that whom they regard as the most pleasant or kind among other competitors. Nkwe is also a model for the Diamond Pageantry Academy.

With a sterling and authentic record of beauty pageantry, Koketso Gulubane has been selected among the Teen Top 100 Young Talented of the World 2020. She was once crowned Little Miss Independence and participated in the Little Miss Princess of the World twice, in 2015 and 2016 only to finish in Top 5.

At one point she joined Junior Miss Botswana and Miss Teen Botswana where she won numerous awards that include Miss Photogenic, Miss Congeniality.Little Miss Princesses of the World 2019 were not there to add numbers.

The reigning Queen Janet McIntosh and her second runner up Crystal Mokgaotsa were selected among the Top 100 Most Talented teens. At the age of 10 and earning her stripes already, Mokgaotsa was the winner of Best Talent at the pageant.

If these young girls could be nurtured and groomed from these ages, we can have a story to tell at the Miss World or Miss Universe pageants. We have been failing grimly because the girls go out to participate when they are never ready, something that is killing the reputation of the Miss Botswana organization softly.

The reining Little Miss Princess of the World Botswana, McIntosh, joined the pageant in 2016 where she failed to make it to Top 10. She made a huge comeback in 2019 and easily earned her crown. In an exclusive interview with WeekendLife, founder of Miss Little Princess of the World Botswana, Tebogo Lebanna said when participating at the world stage, their main focus is the Botswana culture and tourism, which has proven to do wonders for them.

“This has been our secret ingredient. European and American countries are stunned by our culture and tourism and that is something we strive to promote on other platforms post this COVID-19 pandemic. Our culture is rich and as much as it is dynamic, the world loves to see that”

She added that they also outshine other countries in talent exhibition, saying that they have joined forces with Mophato Dance Theatre, a group that helps in teaching the girls traditional dance skills and dance presence.

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