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Pornography leads to Divorce – Researchers

Pornography is any form of entertainment created to arouse the audience sexually. It is particularly a concern due to the explicit pictures they display. It can sometimes cause distress as explicit images depicting penetration, aggression and raw sexual interactions between adults are vividly slashed on screen.

It is often easily accessible and kept anonymous. Even though women watch porn, men are by far the biggest audience. Research shows that porn can impact marital intimacy in significant ways. According to Archives of Sexual behaviours, research suggest that married men and women who use pornography are more likely to head for divorce than man and women who do not. The research further highlighted that pornography is a driver in making relationships worse, increasing the divorce risk.

Hence if married people are not cautious they might find themselves falling off the wagon and headed for splitsville. “Pornography can create unrealistic portraits in people’s minds about how sexual relationship are supposed to function and that kind of scripting can affect relationships,’’ the research further states.

Whilst sex could be one of the main factors that drive most marriages, when people are not entirely satisfied they end up resorting to other different sexual pleasures to ensure their sexual needs are met and pornography is said to be one of those many reasons why people watch adult content.

“It is also the case that porn can have a vicious cycle effect on relationships. In other words, when a relationship is going poorly people might turn to porn. Turning to pornography can now make the relationship to be even worse by becoming a vicious cycle,’’
As compared to those who eventually quit along the way, they are reported to have happier relationships. Younger couples and happier couples seem to be more affected by the use of pornography as compared to older couples, they are also said to be less happy as a couple.

The use of pornography in a relationship is a red flag to partners on where their union is headed, in instances of addiction, couples are likely to kill the spark that existed between them terminally. If sex satisfaction is not served, partners should communicate and have a mutual agreement on how best they can revive their sexual pleasures.

In a survey made in 2002, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers questioned 350 divorce attorneys and found that roughly 60 percent reported that internet porn played a significant role in the divorces, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half of such cases. “First, intimacy for couples is a source of connection and communication between two people. But when one person becomes accustomed to masturbating to porn, they are actually turning away from intimate interaction.

Second, when watching pornography, the user is in total control of the sexual experience, in contrast to normal sex in which people are sharing control with the partner. Thus a porn user may form the unrealistic expectation that sex will be under only one person’s control. Third, the porn user may expect that their partner will always be immediately ready for intercourse. This is unrealistic as well,” Dr. John Gottman explained in a humble and heartfelt open letter to readers in 2016.

In an interview with WeekendLife, Psychologist Keletso Thekiso shared her sentiments with this publication citing that several factors contributes to this widespread use, easy access to technology being amongst them. To a point that some people are anonymously accessing pornographic content on the internet, which is easy and affordable hence the widespread use.

“Some studies revealed that men watch pornography more as compared to women. They tend to experience more joy when watching with other men while women experience positive feelings about pornography in the presence of male partners.  Furthermore, women tend to be more accepting of pornography use within the relationship than men. According to research, this may be because of the need to protect the quality of relationships and respect towards their partners,” she said.

The implications of watching adult content online have its own adverse repercussions and having multiple concurrent sexual partners being one of them. “By depicting sex outside committed relationships it may result in negative attitudes towards monogamy and marriage. Moreover, Most pornographic actors/actresses or ''porn stars" as they are commonly called are often physically appealing and some users may view them as reflecting potentially realistic partners, and subsequently increase how they view their romantic alternatives.

This could mean that there is a significant correlation between cheating in romantic relationships and the use of pornography,” she highlighted. Shockingly, she further indicated that studies have revealed that the use of pornography may lower sexual satisfaction in a relationship. Some users may opt to watch it to increase their sexual satisfaction as their present relationship is not meeting their sexual needs.

“A majority of porn movies often depict a power imbalance between men and women. Men are usually in charge and use verbal aggression while women are submissive and obedient. This led the researchers to conclude that pornography generally has a corresponding script that involves violence and female degradation.” She explained. In conclusion, she urged researchers to explore this topic further as the findings may help therapists. Again she encourage those that are addicted to watching pornography and seeing its effects to seek relationship therapy as it often helps.

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Woman swindled out of P62 000 by fake CID officers

17th June 2021

Botswana Police Service (BPS) has indicated concern about the ongoing trend where the general public falls victim to criminals purporting to be police officers.

According to BPS Assistant Commissioner, Dipheko Motube, the criminals target individuals at shopping malls and Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) where upon approaching the unsuspecting individual the criminals would pretend to have picked a substantial amount of money and they would make a proposal to the victims that the money is counted and shared in an isolated place.

“On the way, as they stop at the isolated place, they would start to count and sharing of the money, a criminal syndicate claiming to be Criminal Investigation Department (CID) officer investigating a case of stolen money will approach them,” said Motube in a statement.

The Commissioner indicated that the fake police officers would instruct the victims to hand over all the cash they have in their possession, including bank cards and Personal Identification Number (PIN), the perpetrators would then proceed to withdraw money from the victim’s bank account.

Motube also revealed that they are also investigating a case in which a 69 year old Motswana woman from Molepolole- who is a victim of the scam- lost over P62 000 last week Friday to the said perpetrators.

“The Criminal syndicate introduced themselves as CID officers investigating a case of robbery where a man accompanying the woman was the suspect.’’

They subsequently went to the woman’s place and took cash amounting to over P12 000 and further swindled amount of P50 000 from the woman’s bank account under the pretext of the further investigations.

In addition, Motube said they are currently investigating the matter and therefore warned the public to be vigilant of such characters and further reminds the public that no police officer would ask for bank cards and PINs during the investigations.

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BCP walks out of UDC meeting

15th June 2021
Boko and Saleshando

Botswana Congress Party (BCP) leadership walked out of Umbrella for Democratic Change (UDC) National Executive Committee (NEC) meeting this week on account of being targeted by other cooperating partners.

UDC meet for the first time since 2020 after previous futile attempts, but the meeting turned into a circus after other members of the executive pushed for BCP to explain its role in media statements that disparate either UDC and/or contracting parties.

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Katlholo wins against DPP

15th June 2021
DCEC DIRECTOR: Tymon Katlholo

The Director General of the Directorate on Corruption and Economic Crimes (DCEC), Tymon Katlholo’s spirited fight against the contentious transfers of his management team has forced the Office of the President to rescind the controversial decision. However, some insiders suggest that the reversal of the transfers may have left some interested parties with bruised egos and nursing red wounds.

The transfers were seen by observers as a badly calculated move to emasculate the DCEC which is seen as defiant against certain objectionable objectives by certain law enforcement agencies – who are proven decisionists with very little regard for the law and principle.

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