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The ideal modern father

Publishing Date : 18 June, 2019


While almost any man can be a father to a child, there is so much more to it. Playing a role of a father is important to the growth and upbringing of a child.

Studies have shown that if a child's father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to the child's cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity. While most fathers are accused of not being enticed to be part of their children’s upbringing, some have defied the odds, and are redefining fatherhood by stepping up as present fathers in all ways. As the world celebrates father’s day this week, here are some tips on how to be a great father from entrepreneur, father and an author Sibusiso Kgosikhumo.


According to Kgosikhumo, one of the things that plays a pivotal role in the upbringing of a child as a father is being able to have an open relationship with your kids.  “I want to be an open father and to be able to strike a balance between being a father and also being accessible. Doing so my daughter will be given the wisdom of age. Even with things that are barely discussed, and when she is inquisitive, I will be open to answer those questions,’ he said. Kgosikhumo shared that one of the things that hinders fathers and children to have a meaningful relationship is openness.  He hinted that when growing up he struggled to be open to his father on certain issues hence he wants to be open to his daughter.


He stated that instilling proper values is important in the upbringing of a child. “One of the values that I live by is being true to myself regardless of what society has put as standard. One of the values I will teach my daughter is to be true to herself and not become a people’s pleaser,” he hinted. “I do not want to teach her those only, but I want to be her role model in terms of living my truth. I do not want to raise an expectation that I cannot uphold. I want her to be absolutely honest to herself.”


Kgosikhumo indicated that the best thing that fathers can give to their children is love. He also explained that being there financially should also be accompanied by sharing memorable moments. “Material things are important but they would not be able to cheer your child. I look forward to date nights with my daughter, movies and even having pizza together. I have always had those moments in my mind,” he said.


In a modern world where the African lifestyle has been westernized, he said fathers should be able to strike balance to allow their children to be part of the global citizens so that they be able to apply themselves. “You cannot cut out that culture but we need to build our children to become global citizens,” he said.


One of the highlight moment that he has shared with his daughter, he said, he has taught her a selfie. “That is our best moments, she is such a happy child, we have a culture of selfies,” he stated.


Being a father comes with many challenges, and Kgosikhumo stated that there is too much societal pressure that expect men to be fault free. “When they have faults they run away because of societal expectation to be perfect. Then they will abandon both the mother and the child when they make a fault,” he highlighted.



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